Book Recommendations for "The Talk"

Updated on April 07, 2015
J.C. asks from Bronxville, NY
16 answers

Well, my daughter is getting to be that age and the talk is immenent. I want to be able to show her some appropriate pictures. Anyone have a good book to recommend? She is almost 9. For example, we were in the bathroom and my tampon didn't flush and she saw it. Needless to say, there was a lot of questions to be answered on the road back from vacation and in a gas station bathroom - LOL!! Not that she hasn't seen a tampon all wrapped up. But this was more real. SO I'd like something that will show how it works in a visual way.

Thanks mamas!!

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So What Happened?

I only flushed it since I was in a gas station bathroom!!! HAHAHA!! You're all so funny.

I have kept communication open and want to do so more and more - especially since I hear her mention some off the wall crap that she gets at school. No sex talk yet (beyond anything she asks). I want to feel that no question is a bad question. But she is only 8. I also think a picture is worth a thousand words when she asked where does the tampon go!! :)

We always have lots of body conversations, etc. but the how does the tampon work exactly, it needs a visual. Hence the pictures (well, drawings, graphics).

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answers from Norfolk on

First thing to explain is:
Never EVER flush a tampon!
Wrap it up in toilet paper and throw it in the trash where it won't clog any pipes.
It's totally irrelevant if it was a gas station rest stop.
They don't enjoy clogged up pipes either.
Toilets + Tampons = Way Big No No Everywhere Every Time

9 moms found this helpful


answers from Anchorage on

I got my kids the book "Its perfectly normal". My older son read it out loud while my younger son listened in, and I sat with them and answered any questions they had. I felt the book was really complete but wished I had read ahead a little so I could have had them skip over the part about oral sex, it did seem a little early for that conversation to take place. But that was only one sentence in a otherwise very well presented book on puberty and sex. It even includes a section on orientation and gender that includes a realistic and tolerant discussion on what it means to be LGBTQ.

3 moms found this helpful

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answers from Columbia on

The Care and Keeping of You is a good book for girls. Remember also that "The Talk" isn't really what ought to happen. You'll have a series of talks, giving her information she needs based upon her age and maturity. On some topics you'll go into detail, and others can wait a bit. You don't have to drop it all on her in one talk.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

For me and my daughter (now 20) it was an ongoing thing from early on when she was a toddler. I was open and answered questions based on the info she asked about and what was age appropriate.

If your daughter is 9, she probably knows a lot more than you think she does because I am in the classroom a LOT and I overhear conversations with 1st graders and up about sex, bodies, etc.

I wanted her to know that sex, bodies, etc was not dirty and nothing to be ashamed of. Many moms are ashamed to talk about it, embarrassed and project bad vibes about sex and health being dirty, etc which end up damaging the child in the long run with misconstrued views of sex, health and our bodies.

There was an offer from Playtex to get a video and info for daughters and I ordered that for my daughter and I to watch. I did give her the book Care and Keeping of You which was ok to say the least. You could check the local library and see what resources they have as well.

My daughter started her period around age 12 and has used tampons since she started. They are just much easier and less messy.

The main thing is to build your relationship so she will talk to you feel comfortable enough to ask you anything. It sounds like you already have a good start with that! I know you want her to know the facts from you vs what she hears from friends. It is crazy what the kids say about sex, reproduction, std's, bodies, etc.

Best wishes to you, they grow up way too fast!

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

The care and keeping of you. It answers most everything as far as her body etc. We started conversations with our kids early. Talk about hair growing in funny places bumps and what they turn into, where baby's come from. Etc. Don't wait and make it a big all out thing. Start with little stuff and make it matter of fact.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Wow, there's someone who still flushes tampons?? Sorry could not resist. I like "the wonderful way babies are made" to focus more on a big picture of procreation from a Christian world view, and I prefer to just talk to my girls when it comes to puberty.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Wausau on

I read your SWH and wanted to remind you that the tampons come with an insert, and the insert has diagrams of the how to use them.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Amarillo on

The American Girl book was not out when my daughter was that age. I got a book called "What's Happening to Me?" The book handles both boys and girls and how their bodies change.

It is good that she knows and is asking you the questions. Do not ever feel ashamed of what is natural. You should have had started this dialogue a few years back with how the body functions. Also I agree with the person about not flushing the used tampons down the toilet as they do cause a lot of trouble.

You could consider this talk as the beginning of a rite of passage from a child to a woman and how things work and how beautiful it is. I know we all have been crabby and have had cramps and such but it is a part of life. Be honest with your answers. Keep the lines of communication open between the two of you so she will have someone to come with her questions and get the correct info. If you don't know it, let her know and get the info and answer her questions.

the other S.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

i love books and my poor kids were buried in 'em from birth on.
but i didn't want a book for this. they had books that showed anatomy, again from a very early age, so they knew they have penises and girls have vaginas. over time the various functions came up naturally. we didn't ever have A Bigass Talk.
we just had ongoing conversations.
so i'm not much help with this one. i don't really understand why this topic is avoided, and then approached with dread.
i'm sorry that your daughter's first encounter with a tampon was in a toilet. so in addition to now explaining to her how her body works, i hope there will be a portion saying 'i'm sorry you saw mommy doing something so bone-headed. tampons should never be flushed down a toilet.'
all tampon boxes come with explanatory inserts, complete with diagrams.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Baton Rouge on

The best book is your own experience. Just TALK to her.
If you must resort to a book, try "Our Bodies, Our Selves."

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answers from Portland on

I also agree that ' The Care and Keeping of You' is a great book to get that conversation started.... Other suggestions were fine. Sounds like you are doing what you should to answer questions in the moment and TF-- I remember the Playtex little booklet I received in 5th grade. I think they were working on the premise that sanitary napkins still had belts in the edition I received, LOL!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

You can go to your local library and ask the children's librarian if she can show you the section on this topic or ask the reference librarian. They both know all about those sections.

Then you can spend some time there and preview them and pick the ones that make the most sense to you and that will appeal to her age and mental abilities.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Rochester on

The website A Mighty Girl has lots of book recommendations.

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answers from Salt Lake City on

American Girl has a book for girls age 8 and up called The Care and Keeping of You. (They also have a volume 2 of the same book for older girls.) This book focus on bodily changes, emotions, health, etc. centering around puberty, and is specific to girls. It does not go into detail about sex - it's more about what a girl can expect personally. It includes information about periods and how to manage them. It includes helpful illustrations. For learning about human sexuality and reproduction as well as the changes that come with puberty, for both boys and girls, there is It's Perfectly Normal, recommended for ages 10 and up.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

It's Not the Stork is a good one that gives the details of girls anatomy, boys anatomy, and sex in a light way. The same author also wrote It's So Amazing, which is the same topic and light tone, but in more detail.

I've also heard that Care and Keeping of You is also good but it's focused more on puberty for girls, and (again, from what I've heard) doesn't actually talk about sex.

Sounds like you might want It's Not the Stork and Care and Keeping of You..

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answers from Denver on

I know I looked at The Care and Keeping of You and also It's Not the Stork for my DD. I will say make sure to look through them first- some of them are a little more "specific" about sex than DD was ready for at 9! Also, Between Baby Dolls and Boyfriends was a great read for me- had some on puberty and 'the talk' but is an overview of the tween years for girls.

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