Book Group Losing Focus

Hi R.,

Unfortunately, most of these moms, especially the ones with even younger kids are probably too preoccupied to even read the book and the conversation just naturally directs toward the thing they most have in common.

I have two daughters ages 7 and 9 and have only begun to read again. Just finished this month A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, A Change of Heart, the shack and My sister's Keeper. I would have loved to belong to a book club to discuss these novels.

I think you may have to dismantle and start a new group as your interests and many of the members may be going in different directions at this time.

I am in North Reading MA. Any groups in my area? I'd love to join.

J. L.

Hey R.: I think it is perfectly reasonable to email folks that you plan to discuss the goals of the group at the next meeting. You and your friend can simply explain that you love seeing everyone and talking, etc, but that you want to regain the focus as a book group. You could decide to have the first hour (or whatever alloted time) be dedicated to the book and then a social time at the end. You are not being unreasonable. Better to be honest and direct and that way you won't harbor resentment towards these people that you generally like to spend time with.
Good Luck!

Start a new group! Are you lucky enough to have 2 free nights, one for kid talk and one for book talk?

good luck!

Hi R.,

Perhaps those of you who don't like the direction your book group is going in could plan how best to bring it up to the group. You could ask for ten minutes to discuss an important matter and bring up your concerns. It's important for everyone to remain calm, respectful, and positive. In fact, I suggest starting out saying how much you like getting together with everyone......etc. and that you feel the group is beneficial...you'd like to bring the focus back to books. Have some options in mind and brainstorm with the people there. It's difficult for many mothers not to live their lives through their kids, but important for them to be able to keep up other interests and contacts. Those moms whose lives revolve around their kids may be reluctant to change, but you'll see what happens. If a few people want to continue to meet to talk about books then you can get together, and keep the kid thing as another optional activity.

so funny, I am going through the same thing. The next meeting is at my house and I last minute postponed it for 2 weeks and in the email wrote how great the book was and that by postponing it, I hoped everyone had a chance to read it. I specifically picked a short book (Mr. Pip) and luckily it was a page turner. I mentioned in th eemail how great it would be for everyone to read and so we can really talk about it. I am hoping for a good result, and if not I will probably drop out and start a new one. There are about 4 of us who always read it and want to discuss, so maybe we will just branch off. I know they feel the same way I do. Another option is to say not to come if you don't read it. This will flush out the group for sure! Good luck!