Blended Family Not Blending Well.

It may be hard because a. they speak Russian and b. they have each other, and she doesn't have a sibling of her own.

Do the new sisters share a room? Maybe she is upset that she doesn't have a roommate.

Maybe have her learn some basic Russian words?

Maybe have some family game time where the 6 and 7y work as a team and Dad and the 2y work as a team, and Mom is the ref.
simple games like 3-legged-race, skittles race, donut chomp, dance buddies, etc.

Take them to Build-a-Bear where they can all build a stuffed animal but they all get the same clothes and same last name.

Help the 6y find something in common with the 7y.

Here are some books about adoption that may help.
http://www.tapestrybooks.com/Books.for.Adopted.Children.asp

I think what you are seeing is normal sibling rivalry. Your honeymoon is over and now the real family work begins. FWIW, I wanted my sister to go away, too, and my mom gave birth to her.

I would talk to her about her feelings and try to work through things. Also, since your 6 yr old was an only and is now not the oldest, she may be feeling out of place and demoted by her older sister. You can say things like "Yes, they speak Russian. Would you like to learn Russian?" and make it a positive.

She is jealous, this is normal when new siblings join a family. Make sure that when she asks things like "why cant they see their real mother" that you stress that YOU are their real mother, just as you are her real mother, and they are he real siblings and will be with you all forever because you are family. If she does not know she is adopted, now may be the time to tell her so she understands how you all came to be family.

It can take 6 years to "blend" a family and you are 4 months into it. I'd say any and all sibling difficulties are to be expected. If you haven't found a family counselor who specializes in these types of situations, you may want to find one now. You don't have to wait until things are bad to enlist the help of a counselor. Their role is to give you the tools you need to make things work the best they can for your family.

I wouldn't call yours a blended family - neither of you is a stepparent to any of these kids - they are all yours together.
What you're seeing is normal sibling rivalry and it will work itself out.
Your kids may never be uber-close. My sister and I are biological siblings and while we love each other, we have little in common beyond the gene pool and did not get along as children.

I would also suggest counseling - what Christine S. mentioned about displaced birth order is really important. We went through a much smaller transition a couple of years ago and the ramifications were much larger than we anticipated. My oldest son and stepdaugther are the same age (15), same grade but she is 4 months older than he is. They've known each other since they were both 3 and we got married when they were 5, but she lived with her mom and spent weekends with us. My husband and I have 2 kids together, boys who are now 7 & 9.

Anyway...my SD moved in with us full time when she was 13. Suddenly we had two "oldest" children - my son, who had been the oldest in our house for many years, and now my SD, who was simultaneously the oldest but the newest. Because the oldest kids had been friends for 10 years, step-siblings for 8 and roommates for 2 out of 7 days a week for years we didn't think the transition would be hard but it really was. My oldest son felt displaced, my SD felt like an extended-stay guest instead of part of the immediate family and as a result, we had some behavioral issues with all 4 kids. Some work with a family counselor worked wonders with helping us to recognize the dynamic and the tensions that the change in living arrangements caused. The end result was that we saw improved behavior and stronger relationships among all of the kids after a few months of counseling.

I would check with the adoption agency to see if they have any referrals to family counselors who are experienced with dealing with this kind of situation, which must be fairly common when adding to a family through adoption. Good luck to you, and belated Happy Mother's Day to you and your wife!

Does your 6 year old know she's adopted and that you chose her as your child, just as you chose her siblings to be your children? Have you talked openly about how sometimes Mommies and Daddies can't take care of their babies, so other lucky parents like you get to become Mommies and Daddies by choice? That you chose her and that you're a forever family, just like her siblings are part of your forever family also? Have you explained that her siblings came from a place far away, with a different culture and a different language, explored a bit about Russia with some books and a map, explained that they're still learning English and she how she can help?
If not, now is the time! She's six and it seems to me many of her questions and feelings could have/should have been addressed already simply by talking truthfully to her in terms she and your other children can understand.
Good luck!

Where I live there in an adoption and infertility counseling center, they would be full of tips and have family groups he could talk to others Look for some thing near you.

Poor kiddo. She likes the idea of siblings but hasn't learned how to do it yet.

Give her some time. Help them to find common interests and remember to have special time with each of them on a daily basis. Even if it's just 5 minutes each, they'll remember it.

I agree with several posters who suggested this may be more normal sibling rivalry than the blended family issues many face. Additionally, though, it seems that there's a "me against them" perspective. The 6yo is a singleton & the other sisters came together as a pair, sharing a funny way of speaking and other things. Might it help to toss around the pairing a little? Instead of trying to blend everyone, try blending the older pair for a bit. Perhaps some special "big girl" activities that are too old for the 2yo would be a good idea. Things like a day at the park with one parent while the youngest stays home with the other or (if you're OK with this) nail polish for the two older girls but not the younger. Sixes and Sevens can help cook dinner or bake cookies or build a tree house or jump rope or ride bikes. Also, the 6yo probably identifies more with her parents than her sisters. Can there be games or activities where it's kids against parents? I don't think it matters who wins since your goal is that the kids *be* a team together.

You may have already tried these things, but I'd work on pairing by age & abilities (like a birth family would). It's good to recognize the birth heritage of everyone, but I'd focus on building a future and not worry about the past (though don't ignore it or pretend it didn't exist).

Hang in there. The more you embody that you are family without adjectives (blended, lesbian, etc), the more it is likely to happen.

Please get some family counseling. When you adopted a child that was older than your "first" child, you disturbed the birth order. Not only did your daughter get demoted from only child to sister but she isn't just the BIG sister - she is the Big sister AND the little sister.

Take some Russian language classes - consider getting some DVDs in Russian. Help your Russian children to hold onto their culture and language as much as you can while teaching your 6 year old Russian. She will learn it faster than you and your wife - it might be the Russian speaking children versus English speaking adults.

Good luck! C.

I agree with everyone is has suggested a family counselor. The whole family would benefit from help from someone trained in this type of thing. Best wishes!

maybe im wierd but to name your sexual orinentation in your screenname seems immature. you could put in your desciption your are married to a loving wife or something or say you are a lesbian couple which would help with answers possibly...i dont kow for some reason it strikes M. odd. i see it as you are two moms rasiing kids and not "lessie mommies"
as for your question i only have one so i cant help with sibling jealousy but i think its normal

My son was 5 when our daughter was born and he adored her at first. When the novelty wore off he became very jealous and would say he liked it better when he did not have a sister. He was jealous for a couple years off and on...but now 4 years later he does not even think of a time when she was not around. Your daughter is going through this same thing...she used to get all your attention and now she has to share it. It's hard and it takes time to get used to it. Keep talking to her, keep it positive, and make sure she gets some one on one time with both you and your wife at times (and the other two girls too!). Siblings do often fight and dislike each other....my brother and I were not friends till I left for college! Now we get along great. Just keep being a positive roll model for your 3 girls and teach them to treat each other with respect.

Great responses already. It's going to take time, and family activites will help cement a bond. I read The family book to my blended family. It opens up the floor for discussion http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/family-book-todd-parr/100.... We also do puppet shows at nighttime. Good time for the child to share feelings using displacement.
Observing some Russian traditions might help all three kids. Maslenista is pancake week. Observed in the spring because the pancake is round like the sun. Maybe you could have an upside down dinner night and let the kids help make the pancakes.
When new babies are born the father usually plants a tree. Maybe dad could plant something with all three. One for each.