Biting - Raleigh,NC

Updated on January 20, 2011
A.S. asks from Missouri Valley, IA
9 answers

Hi ladies,
My just over 15 month old is biting more and more. Today at church she bit me twice for no reason. Once on the arm and once on my nose (I mean I know it sticks out, but that's another thing! jk) She has in the past few months tried to bite when she is frustrated (obviously a limited vocabulary) or being told no.

When she does this I usually push down a little on her gums and say something like, "No biting; that hurts people." etc.

What have you all done when this happened? Why does she do it? And, will this pass?

Thank you!
Amanda

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So What Happened?

Ha! Thanks ladies. I am surprised at how many people say to bite back! I just may try that. We had her check up today at the Dr. and he said too that she is just doing it to get my attention. Thanks again!

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

It's a phase, but if you want to stop it you'll have to do something dramatic to take the fun out of it for her, such as put her in her room for 30 minutes or something just as upsetting to her. Otherwise she'll keep on doing it, as you've witnessed. Good luck!

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E.W.

answers from Chattanooga on

Amanda,

You may not like what I will tell you but it did work for me.

Bite her back, not hard, just enough to make her feel it. Then explain to her how that hurts, ask her if it hurt her and hopefully she will respond to you with a yes and you can tell her how much it hurts you to have her bite you. Lightly tap her mouth and say 'no more'. I was never bit again. I hope it works for you. Sometimes you have to show a child what they are doing before they fully understand that it is wrong.

Good luck.

E.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.T.

answers from Louisville on

Amanda, welcome to the area! I don't know it personally, but I just moved from Washington state to Kentucky so I know how fun it is to start over! I have a consultant in the NC area, she just moved there a few months ago. Can't wait to come up and check it out! Anyway, I had the same problem with all three of my children. They learned the habit from friends at daycare, sometimes it just comes as a natural "outburst." I can't say I agree with the biting back rule, but obviously it worked for others. I do however believe in disciplining my kids in a way that they get the picture. Each child is different, with my first it took time out and she figured things out. For my second, time out just wasn't enough. She actually needed a stronger form. For her biting, it only took once, I "popped" her mouth, not enough to hurt, just enough to surprise her, and she stopped. My son was a cardiac patient for the first year of life so when I surprised him with a stern "NO!" He burst into tears and only did it once more. That was during daycare, playing football, he said the other kid was trying to push him down...when I asked if he had the ball he said, yes. Had to explain how it was not acceptable, considering he was sent home...and how football is played. Having a pacemaker it will be the only time he gets to play! Anyway, hope this helps, otherwise someone in school will bite her back and put a stop to it. Just hold your guns and make sure she understands that you are not happy, no laughing or any smiles when she does it. Good luck!

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L.M.

answers from Nashville on

be assured, this too shall pass. My son was a biter and hair puller. I bit back and pulled hair back and it did not work for me (it may for you). So, I totally understand what you're going through. Ignoring him did the best for me and not giving him chances or any "next time such and such will happen". If he bit, I would tell him "no,you do not bite" and in the corner he went. I had to do this over and over and over. It drove him crazy being ignored, but I really don't think it helped either. I just think the phase passed.

good luck

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J.M.

answers from Memphis on

I'm not to this stage yet with my 2nd but my 1st hit it around 15-18 mths. For a while I tolerated it with a gentle reprimand. For some reason it was only ever me he bit. Finally I had enough and but him back. I of course didn't bite very hard but he was so horrified he never bit again. It took only one time to stop him. I probably would not have biten back more than once so I was relieved that he stopped. When he was over 2yrs he became a frequent victim of a chronic biter at school. By that time we were able to talk about it and how it made him feel.

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L.L.

answers from Nashville on

Bite back. I know that sounds awful but that was the only thing that showed my kids, "hey, that hurts, stop it!". My daughter bit absolutely everyone at least once. We started biting her back and it only took a few times for her to realize that it hurt and she stopped.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Nashville on

Amanda,

My son is now 17 months and he started the biting at 14 months. We used the 'That hurts Mommy/Daddy method'. Every time he would bite me, I would make a sad face and tell him it hurt. Then, I would go grab his favorite stuffed animal. A little black dog named Skippy. And say, "Skippy, give Mommy a hug, Henry caused an ouchy."

Henry would make the most awful faces and feel very badly about his behavior. Even though they are little, they do understand feelings at this early of an age. The biting started going away after about a week. Now, he only does it when he is REALLY tired and REALLY hungry. But, that is not very often, as I have learned his early cues.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Wilmington on

I'm a teacher too, Elementary BD! I suggest that 1st you carry and array of appropriate things she can bite on. Then, when she tries to or does bite, say "We bite this!" and give her one or a choice of two things to bite. Then with a firm and discouraging voice say, "I don't like that! We bite this. Take one.", turn your face away and refuse to make eye contact until she takes one of the items you've offered. After she does, immediately give her your attention and warmly reinforce her choice, and prompt her to bite it. If she doesn't bit it, use another appropriate item and model biting it, and prompt her to do it with the one she has. When she does, immediately reward her with approving words and reinforce the statement, "Yes! We bite this!!!" The key is to ignore her UNTIL she takes the appropriate item you've offered. Face turned away, ignoring and not responding/reacting to her attempts for your attention. You can repeat "Take one" while turned away, but refusing to make eye contact is INTEGRAL. If others try to intervene, ask them not to interact with her at all. ANY attention from anyone will circumvent your intervention and reward her desire for attention. She should quickly connect that interaction will come after she has cooperated. After all, all behavior is motivated by attention, either good or even bad! Good luck!

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R.R.

answers from Chicago on

Dont bite the child back I did this with my son and when his hamster bit him he bit the hamster back so that doesnt work. With my second son I cried very loadly and dramatically when the second son bit me and he responded to my hurting and said he was sorry and hugged me and he never bit again. The poor first child is always the test child needless to say children respond to your reactions. Remember No means No. Dont say No If your not going to reinforce with a time out. Because sometimes saying No can be a life or death situation.Exp a child getting cut off while crossing the road you tell him NO stay there I'll come get you and the child steps into traffic. So No means No

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