Birthday Question

I say a simple FB posting on his bday would be nice.
Honestly, my best friend --- I know her kid's birthdays, her birthday, and didn't know her husband's bday until a few months ago, and we've been friends for over 10 years. But I wouldn't lose sleep over it. I mean, you said that you and her aren't close. Some people are 'birthday people' and remember cards every year. Some people, after you get past a certain age (18 yrs old) just don't acknowledge birthdays regularly.

Life is so hectic and our familys grow exponentially. I try to give people a pass if they dont remember my birthday. If they do, that's nice. If they don't, that's cool too. Keeping that in mind, I FB friends and younger extended family on thier birthday and I also text them. Some might say that's impersonal or rude, but my people seem to appreciate it. And if they do the same for me, I appreciate it. Now, for the older generation, I do call them. It's a respect thing.

Well for me, if I know when a person's birthday is I wish them a "happy birthday" - to me it's just a common nicety, no? I'm not sure what you mean by *acknowledging* a birthday....are we talking a verbal happy birthday? a card? a gift and party? what?

In my family, it's the kids' birthdays that are celebrated. The adults all exchange cards, but that's about it unless it's a milestone bday. My MIL still makes my husband and BIL special birthday dinners.

Read your old questions! I'm sure she was appreciative, but she doesn't reciprocate your efforts.

First... you need to stop forcing yourself on your niece. She doesn't want a close relationship with you. I'm really sorry that she isn't reciprocating but you really have no idea what she has heard about you over the years.

Second... if you want to acknowledge his birthday, send him a card. If you post on her FB page she may not share it.

Immediate family gets a card and gift- and we are usually together sometime that month to celebrate. Extended family gets a card and a phone call. Very extended family... FB message and/or card.

Here's what I do.
If it is a neice or nephew (all mine are under 7)we send a card and dollars for their age- like 3 dollars when they turn 3. We also try to call them and sing Happy Birthday. If we are in town (we live 30 hours away) and they have a party, we go to the party and bring a gift. If it is a godchild, we send a gift every birthday.

If it is a my brother, sister, SIL, or BIL,(we have 10) I send a card but not usually a gift. Randomly, I may send a giftcard or a gift, but it is really about me finding something appropriate or because I know the person loves getting gifts.

I also send cards to my MIL, FI and my own parents and grandparents.

Who sends to us?

My sister (whom I'm very close to) rarely sends anyone anything. She will just call and wish happy Birthday if she remembers. She doesn't believe in cards/gifts.
My brother(s) both send cards and often money to my kids and just cards to us.
My inlaws all call/email/fb and my MIL and FIL send money, usually a hundred bucks (which I find ridiculous) to me and my hubby and both my kids

With my closest friends, we often send a card, but no gift. But it seems to be switching to Facebook. I think that would be great since it is expensive to buy and send so many cards. At the same time, it is fun to get em on your birthday.

With local mom friends, we exchange babysitting on birthdays and anniversaries. It's a great gift! The gift of free "free time".

I would say that you should do what you feel comfortable doing. If you like to give cards like I do, then do it. No one is going to be offended if you do. Just don't expect anyone to give them to you because not everyone is into it. If you wnat to wish em a good day without a card, use FB or email. I love those messages to because at least you're remembered.

To some families, birthdays are a "So what". To others its a wonderful day.

I send my MIL an e-card when I remember. I remember when my wife reminds me. (I'm glad she does.) I never sent my FIL a birthday card after the first one. I saw it in the trash, unopened. I opened it, took out the money and never sent him another card.

Don't sweat the birthday cards. I can't remember when my MIL sent me the first birthday card, but it was several years after we were married. My mom and dad and my wife and I always exchanged birthday and anniversary cards.

Good luck to you and yours.

Unless you are close to them when you get that far out into extended family I do not think it is necessary to acknowledge those B-Days. My family is very close though so... My parents give gifts/cards to me, my sister and our husbands and our children (their grandchildren) and we all either verbally acknowledge our grandparents by a phone call or a card by mail. We also verbally acknowledge other family members through FB that we know is having a B-Day. We were raised with the sense that Birthdays are a special day. Now this is just how my family is, my husbands family is completely opposite! I don't think they even know when each others birthday's are!

I'm married and have a child and my aunts do send me birthday cards and my son. However, none to my hubby, so I don't think its really necessary. My hubby doesn't think anything of it and neither do I when his aunts and uncle's don't send birthday greetings for me. However, they do send Christmas cards to the both of us, and acknowledge any other special events that they are aware of (my college graduation, for example.)

Also, I'm not sure you should think much of her not knowing or acknowledging your birthday. I honestly don't know when my aunts' birthday are but I don't think they mind. I think it's a generational difference because I am a generation younger than them!

However, if you are really working to build a relationship with her, she may find it extra thoughtful and nice to send a card or a facebook greeting. I had normal relationships with my aunts' so I never thought anything of not sending my hubby any greetings. But if you're trying to make extra efforts, it's probably a nice gesture I suppose...

Maybe I'm misreading your question, but........

If it's someone's birthday, I wish them a Happy Birthday! I've never thought about whether it's "right" or "proper".

It's just a birthday wish, for crying out loud. Don't over-think things. If you find out when your nephew-in-law's birthday is, send him a greeting.