Birthday Party Question - Dallas,TX

Updated on May 03, 2012
B.M. asks from Dallas, TX
15 answers

My daughter is about to turn 2 years old and we are throwing her a birthday party at Gymboree. We plan on inviting the kids from her class at daycare for a couple of reasons. First of all, we do not have many friends with kids, so these kids are really the only "friends" my daughter has to invite. Plus she spends all day with them so we thought it would be fun for us to have them. Secondly, we would like to use this opportunity to maybe meet some of the other kids parents and get to know the families. We have been invited to a couple of parties, but couldn't go due to prior obligations.

My dilemma is that I do not want the parents to feel obligated to bring a gift. Especially when we don't know them very well outside of hello and goodbye at school. My daughter gets plenty from family and friends on her birthday and she is too young to really get the gift thing anyway. However, I forgot to have "no gifts please" printed on the invitations. Should I print out an insert to go in with the invitation stating that, or just leave the issue alone?

I'm getting differing opinions from people. One friend says to put something so that it doesn't look like we're inviting the class just for the presents. Another friend says not to worry about it, that kids ask their classmates all the time and parents expect it. Taking an impartial poll too see who to believe. :)

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answers from Philadelphia on

I would say throw a little thing into the invite envelope but if parents feel awkward by NOT bringing a gift I wouldnt make it a big deal.
I recently took my daughter to a birthday and the child's mother told us not to bring a gift but knowing my daughter as soon as she gets that invite shes excited to pick out a gift.
So i would request it but dont push it

2 moms found this helpful

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answers from Chicago on

I would feel awkward not giving a gift for a couple reasons. Some are sure to bring a gift anyway, eventhough you said not to. Then I would feel silly for not bringing one because others did. And, if you are treating my child to a nice afternoon at Gymboree, I would feel bringing a gift is the least I could do. It would make me feel a bit like a taker, without giving anything back - not a good feeling.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I would suggest printing a cute insert, maybe with a cute poem that explains in lieu of gifts the parents could......(insert here). For example:

"(child's name) is turning 2,
and we'd like to share this day with you.
No need to buy a toy or gift,
If you feel the need, please donate to "Make a Wish".

And put the Make a Wish logo (or other charity's logo that you choose).

Or something along those lines.

Have fun with the party and happy B-day to the little one!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

I wouldn't worry about it-parents do expect it and those who can't affort to spend a lot won't-esp since the kids are so young. Also, the problem with "no gift" requests is that half of the people will bring one anyhow thus leaving the parents and especially the children who followed your rules feeling embaressed.

Additionally-getting gifts at a birthday party is so much fun-don't deprive your daughter of that pleasure.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Cleveland on

I say let it alone,
since she is only 2 you'll be able to get most of the gifts home with out opening them, and you can either return them or donate them to a preschool or womens shelter or toys for tots or something.
Welcome to the world of kid parties, Parents give what they can/want. Be prepared with a list of a few things to suggest if people ask. Like she loves books, or we can't get enough bath toys. you could try with the whole, oh thanks for asking but we just want your presence not your presents but i thing most people would feel weird about that at this age.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Rocky Mount on

You know...I did something like this once myself because we have a very large family and my kids would get bombed with gifts that were just over-the-top and way too much. So, I got the idea to tell people invited to a "friends" party that instead of spending money on a gift, if they could please doante whatever they would have spent to the American Cancer Society in my daughters name, I would be so thrilled with the donation...any amount at all! We have lost many family members and had recently lost my young best friend to leukemia so I felt so good about this decision. My daughter got loads of loot and toys from the family members but also got a great sum of money donated to cancer research in her name to help people who need it most. Best party we ever had and the parents raved about the gift of the cause! Try it!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Austin on

Yes, insert a card that says something like

"We would like you to share the fun with Avery, We request no gifts please.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Houston on

I think is a good idea to get the presents and donated them to a children's association or to a church some times our kids are bless with lot of things and this is a good way to help the ones that are in need.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Boston on

Just let it go - gifts are part of the birthday party experience. At that age, they won't be big things anyway. I hate the "no gifts please" idea, but that's just me. I LIKE to give gifts.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Awww. Don't worry about it. I had the same concerns when my daughter was two and now I just have to laugh. It is ok. The parents are excited that they get to take their kids for a playdate/birthday at a fun place and if they want to bring a gift they will even with a note on the invitation. Have fun - enjoy the party. Meet the parents - you will make some great friends through your daughters preschool and hosting a party is a good way to do this. Happy Birthday to your little one.


answers from Dallas on

Hi! Skip it... we perform cake decorating P. so we see a lot of birthday scenarios. Our experience is that no matter what the invitation says some people will bring gifts even if it is mentioned in lieu of gift.... What ends up happening is the moms that didn't bring one are all talking with each other saying... "I thought we weren't supposed to buy a gift", "She just wants to stand out", etc. Seen it so many times. Bringing a gift is just what some do and others expect to do anyway.

Happy Birthday to your daughter. Have a super SWEET party!

S. - DFW Cake Decorating P.



answers from Provo on

Put an insert in the invites. Some parents will be relieved. A friend of mine once put "no gifts" in the invite and I called to ask what her son wanted because my kids really wanted to get him something. She sounded uncomfortable but agreed to let them get him a gift. When I watched her son unwrap one after the other of expensive gifts from their extended family, I understood why she had said no gifts and I felt a little weird about the one little Bakugan that we gave the boy. He really could have gone without our gift and been perfectly happy just with the fact that my kids were at his party. And I would have saved some money and a shopping trip.



answers from Dallas on

I'd leave it alone. If you say, "no gifts," others may feel that they have to say the same. Also, kids bring gifts to bday parties; it's part of the excitement.

My experience so far is that most kids invite their daycare class to their parties, as these are the kids they spend the most time with. So, it isn't unusual that you're inviting the class.

One suggestion that I wish parents would do at these parties...get some nametages for the adults! We know each others kids, but we don't know each other. Meeting a bunch of parents at one is hard to keep all the names straight.



answers from Los Angeles on

It's a birthday party, so people expect to bring a gift. They don't generally think that they were invited just so the bday kid can get more presents. I don't think anyone would really feel that way.

But, if you really don't want them to bring gifts, just put a note at the bottom of the invitation that says "no gifts, please" and see what happens. Some will still bring, but some may honor your request.



answers from Dallas on

I would just donate the gifts to your church, save for the salvation army xmas tree, or to a local shelter.

In lieu of presents, I ask that teddy bears be given to donate to the children's hospital.

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