Birthday Party for Two Year Olds - Wait Till Older?

Updated on October 25, 2012
S.J. asks from Cherryville, MO
14 answers

Hubby and I are discussing our upcoming son's b day, he will be 2 in a short time. I would like to have a little party for him at a local children's museum. I would only invite a few close friends with their children who regularly play with our kids and grandparents and an aunt and uncle. So, about 8 adults and 6-7 kids, including my own children who have a blast at this museum. We are currently having remodeling done to our home, so a home party is not an option.

**I should be more clear - the people coming are one set of grandparents (2), one aunt and uncle (2) and one mom and her husband who are like family to us, and their kids (4). So 8 people not including us. This is NOT a big party and it is mostly family! And no, hosting at gradnmas or a family's house is not an option, as we did that for first birthday. Trust me, I wish it were an option! so, we either do children's museum or nothing (or a different venue, all of comparable cost)

** the party room rental includes a pass to the museum for all the kids that day, so that is part of the play fun.

Hubby says it is a waste of $150-$200 (rental of room is $85, cake, snacks, a gift, so maybe not quite 200?) to have the party when he is only 2 and doesn't care. Now, of course there is some logic to that, but I am really itching to have a party for him! We rarely do parties for the kids' b days, and now we are in a position to be ablet do it more, so I am anxious. The grandparents and aunt/uncle will be hurt if we don't invite them to do something. Plus, I know this is probably my last baby, so I think that is contributing to my desire to celebrate his wonderful life!!!

So, what do you think? Party or no party??

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So What Happened?

**I should be more clear - the people coming are one set of grandparents (2), one aunt and uncle (2) and one mom and her husband who are like family to us, and their kids (4). So 8 people not including us. This is NOT a big party and it is mostly family! And no, hosting at gradnmas or a family's house is not an option, as we did that for first birthday. Trust me, I wish it were an option! so, we either do children's museum or nothing (or a different venue, all of comparable cost)

** the party room rental includes a pass to the museum for all the kids that day, so that is part of the play fun.

Mom2many - No, it really is for my kids! We have had a very stressful few years with me being on extensive bed rest, with our youngest being born premature (but is now pefectly healthy), with us moving and having a VERY strict budget because of it. The kids need some FREEDOM! We never take vacations or really have a break together as a family, so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity. Plus, I know my 2 year old would have a blast, regardless of his memory of it later. so yes, while I will enjoy it, my motivation is definitiely for my family to get out of the house and create some fun!

Featured Answers

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Can you just pay the regular admission for everyone, then go to a local ice cream parlor for cake and ice cream?
That's probably cheaper, and you all would still get to celebrate and have a great time together at the museum!

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

It's really not for your son.....it's for you. It's okay to admit that, but I am with the hubby. It really is a waste at that age. He won't remember, he won't care and so long as there is some cake and a few presents he will be perfectly happy.

ETA____________________

The save yourself the money and do things with the kids, you can have just as much fun without spending so much on a birthday.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I've always done low-key home parties for the little guys. If you can't have it at home, then ask if a relative would host and keep it simple. Some toys you already have, a few balloons...little kids don't need a lot but I do think that it's good to have some sort of celebration for him and he would probably love a kid's museum, even if it wasn't his birthday. What does your husband propose instead? Your party size sounds great for a 2 yr old.

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F.B.

answers from New York on

We had a big at home party for both his first and his second. We knew going it it was more for us and the older kids than for the birthday boy. Frankly, he was overwhelmed at both. Your husband is probably right about this, but you need not let that stop you.

good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

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L.F.

answers from Chicago on

I'm with your husband on this one. There will be plenty more birthdays to celebrate. Save your money and put it in your kid's college fund. Next year will be much more fun for your son at the children's museum.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

We didn't do a "real party" for our son until he turned 3 for exactly the reason your husband suggested. My husband REALLY wanted to have a party with his daycare buddies, but in the end it seemed a little silly because he wasn't even talking about his friends yet!

We waited until he turned 3 and he "got it" and had a blast! Wait another year and have something small with your family this year.

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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

I think it's a fabulous idea and would do it in a heartbeat. Do the party!

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M.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

I had a huge party for my son when he turned 2 this summer, he absolutely loved it. You think they are still little, but we were surprised how much he enjoyed the party. He still likes to watch those videos , and sings happy birthday song to himself (whenever he wishes others for their birthday he sings the happy birthday song but always with his name instead of the person he is wishing). Every cake he sees is a birthday cake. He is 2.5 yrs old now, and still excited about birthdays. I was worried about him getting bored or fussy , but really he did very well. Now I can see him being super excited for his 3rd birthday . I went all out, spent much more that what you are planning , but all so worth it. Because my son won't be 2 anytime again. Yes it's very special for us moms, since you have older kids they will have loads of fun as well. I say - go for it!! The smile and joy on his face will be worth it even if he remembers it or not. Don't forget to click lot of pictures :)

PS: I had a simple party for his first with family , it was lot of fun and very memorable. He seemed equally excited to cut the cake etc , he was smiling a lot, squealing with joy with all the attention he was getting. But he didn't understand anything that was going on. But at 2 , it was different. 2 years is a good age to start the celebrations and do it the way you want it, instead of the kid demanding you do it the way he wants it.

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

I did the small party for 1 and did a BIG party for 2 and my son loved it. He had is two little friends (he is 4 now and they are still close). My parents have friends that are close to us, I had it at the park district and it was a great time.

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

No party. That's a lot of money to spend to take people to a childrens museum when half of the people aren't even children. I would suggest two options. #1: Have a small party at your house instead (grandma, aunt/uncle and you guys), and then treat the family with four kids to the childrens museum at another time in honor of your son's birthday. Or #2: Take your family somewhere fun for all of them. Make it in honor of your son's birthday and get everyone ice cream at the zoo. Or take a picnic and go hiking, or to a botanical garden where they can run around. Your son is turning two. He doesn't care about a party. Do something that's good for all of your kids - not just something that sounds cute to you. We're all guilty of wanting to have parties for our kids because it sounds so cute and fun, but it's worth stepping back and thinking about what our kids would really enjoy. If you think your two your old wants a party room with his grandparents, go for it. I just know that at two, my girls would have had a lot more fun if I took that $200 and did something different.

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D.B.

answers from Fargo on

I'd say compromise....can you just do children's museum with family? Or have a small family party at grammas? My baby just turned one....we had some family over, had a nice dinner and cake, i got some balloons and fun plates, and we did a pinata (for the older kids) it was fun, cheap and we still got to celebrate her.

Trust me when i say I love to plan parties....I've done some fun parties when my kids were older and they still talk about them. My oldest loved her princess party, everyone got a dress up dress (cheap after Halloween) and i made a castle cake. My middle loved her my little pony cake, we had the party at chuck e cheese (they allow you to bring cake, so i just ordered pizzas).

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B.W.

answers from Washington DC on

LIke others, I have to agree with your husband. for my daughter's 1st & 2nd b-day we did a picnic in which only g-parents (God & Grand) were invited. We asked everyone to bring a side dish and we brought a meat and cheese tray & drinks (juice boxes & water). Had cake and spent $10-15 bucks on balloons and it was a great day. He won't remember the party. Just as our DD didn't know we hid half of her b-day presents she received and slowly gave them to her over the months after her b-day. She didn't miss them, nor will your son miss not having a party if you don't.

I could support the party if it could be done for low/no cost, like a relatives home, but not $200!

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

S., I think this sounds like a great party idea. Really, if you were having everyone to your home, by the time you buy party decorations, food, drinks and cake, would it be much cheaper than the $150 or so you would spend ont he museum party? Probably not! And you dont have to clean before and after!! I vote go for it!
Heck, if you want to save money, dont buy him presents. He will get presents from his family and friends that are attending, and at this age he will have no idea who gave him what. He will only know he got lots of presents. Your present is the party. :)

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Sounds like a lot of expense for a 2 year old, and a lot of running around keeping track of kids who want to see/do different things at the museum. You can create happy memories by just taking your kids and husband to the museum. You can be run over by the grandparents and other relatives - I know you care about them, but the more people you add to an event, the more stressful is actually is because the grandparents don't get to spend the time with the kids. The kids are doing other things and ignoring the relatives!

If the weather is mild, you might do something at a local park (free) and take some food. Birthday cupcakes are easier to manage, for example. Many parks have a pavilion with picnic tables, so you could do a little decorating.

If I understand you, the party rental pays for the children's passes (and I suppose, yours) but then the relatives and the other family who is not technically related would be paying their own adult admission charge? People don't always like being asked to do that.

I think you're trying to please everyone - your own kids, yourself and your husband (I read about not taking vacation and wanting to do something fun), the relatives and a few friends of the birthday boy. You also said you haven't been in a position to give parties - for financial reasons or because you were on bed rest etc.?) so it sounds like you may be doing this for a real treat. If that's the case, go ahead. But if you and your husband are not on the same page about the money, it may not be as memorable a day as you want it to be. If adding the relatives would make it more difficult, then leave them out. You don't have to tell them you are giving a party, do you? Or are they the types who will be so offended that it will make things miserable going forward? And how will the other kids feel if you didn't do a big thing for their birthdays but now are doing it for the little brother? You may be starting something here that will be hard to rein in down the road!

You have a lot of things to weigh in terms of cost and family feelings. So I would say to make the best choice for your family not just on that day but going forward. For example, maybe a few outings with your kids to do things they would all enjoy - a nature area, a park, and a museum, all on different days. Also, our library carries free passes for many museums and other attractions - maybe yours does too. So maybe you could have the extended family for one activity and do something different for just your immediate family. Also, many museums offer family memberships that let you go as often as you want for an entire year. That might be a good investment and give you many opportunities. We have a local environmental science museum that has an outdoor zoo, a playground and picnic area, an indoor aquarium and many hands-on science exhibits, and a free lunch room, and lots of outdoor grounds to run around on. If you go with a membership, if the kids get tired after a couple of hours, you don't feel like you've wasted your money if you go home early. A relative of ours with small kids gets that membership every year from her mother in law and it includes grandparent passes. So sometimes Grandma takes the kids herself, you know? That might be a nice holiday gift for someone in your family that gives you many options going forward.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

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