Birthday Party Advice - Big Run,PA

Updated on September 05, 2009
M.S. asks from Big Run, PA
11 answers

Birthday party problems as follows. My daughter will be 11 on the 21st. My nephew is turning 15 on the 19th and close family friend's daughter turning 3 on the 21st [which is my sister's niece.] My friend is having her daughter's party on the 18th and all my family is invited. My nephew's party will be the 26th. There is an agreement that we do not have 2 parties the same weekend. We then have our anniversary on the 29th and already made plans for the weekend after it. With school starting on the 1st and it being my daughter's 1st year in middle school making many new friends, we had wanted to wait to have her party. Considering everything, I'm at a loss as to what to do and when to have anything for my daughter. She wants a party and to invite new friends.

My other problem: we have no money this year for going to a restaurant or a meal like we used to, the park is outdoors only and weather is getting cold, and our small house is not an option.

Here is what I'm thinking and would like feedback on. Have outdoors on the 12th. Notice would be really short going out on the 8th to school friends. Is that too short of time? Have during the day 1 to 3 so I don't need to provide meal, just have cake, ice cream and chips/pretzels. Are my plan acceptable and reasonable?

What can I do next?

  • Add your own comment
  • Ask your own question
  • Join the Mamapedia community
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think that with such short notice, there might not be many that could come.

Can you wait a couple of weeks and have party? I know lots of people who don't have parties right near the birthday.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.K.

answers from Erie on

Instead of big party for your daughters friends could you limit it somewhat but have a sleep over, like 7pm so you didn't need to do dinner, just snacks and cake. I forgot about the small house, hmmmm
Outdoors is fine for your idea, it is awfully short notice, so i wonder what kind of turn out you'll get
not much help sorry.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think your idea of a no-meal party is acceptable reasonable, I'd just be concerned that the date is too short notice. What if you have 2 separate small parties? No meals just cake, ice cream and snacks at each. One would be for your family on whichever weekend doesn't already have a party. The other would be for her friends but closer to her birthday, giving her friends more notice.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.B.

answers from San Diego on

I think you should plan to have a special day on your daughters birthday just with your family, or even just you and her. You can make her favorite foods, maybe take her to a movie, something to make her feel really special on her day. Then you can have her party a couple weeks down the road. You could still do a park party, just make sure all the kids are bundled up and plan some activities like play soccer or kickball, do something like an egg race, two legged race. All things that don't cost anything. Then get a cake. No need to provide a meal, just have the party between 2-5pm, and tell the parents, "Celebrate my daughter's birthday with Games and Cake". Hope that helps!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

Dear M.,
My daughter started middle school last year. Our school combined the 4 elementary schools, and my daughter hardly had anyone in her classes that she knew! They switch classes so different kids are in each class! As they get older, they stop the big parties and invite a few "CLOSE "friends to the movies or a sleepover. You will see the parties really diminish! ( Which helps out with gifts!!) I think the 8th to the 12th is too short notice for most people. Again, she may or may not even know many of the kids that are in her classes. Stick with the tried and true friends for the party.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Philadelphia on

There's no rule that says you have to have a party for your daughter! If you can't afford it this year, just let your daughter know. You will be teaching her a great lesson that it's not ok to spend more than you can afford just to have fun. I agree with another mom who said just have a fun day with her. Maybe take a couple of friends to a park or something else she enjoys that doesn't cost a lot. You are going to see your family and friends at the other parties and they know that it's her birthday,so if they really want to buy her a present, they can give it to her quietly at those parties.

B.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi M., Yeah, 3 days is really not enough notice for a party...espically for "new" friends. Maybe you should just consider skipping the whole party thing this year and do a bigger party next year? You don't have to have a party every year and if the money is tight why not wait? I have three girls right about the same ages as yours and we quit doing the party thing around age 8 except for the sweet 16 one of course. We do sleep-overs or just go out to dinner or to a movie. We keep it as simple as possible. Best wishes

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Why not have your daughter's party with her friends on the 19th - you have 2 parties that weekend, but you are not asking your family to come to 2 parties. The friend party could even be a sleep-over or something really fun like that, which you couldn't do if you have her friends and your family there.

Then either do your family party on the 12th (your family would understand the short notice), or ask your family if you can combine your daugher's family party with your nephew's party on the 26.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.M.

answers from Johnstown on

I felt horrible this year because all 3 of our girls had to go w/out parties. They all have January birthdays and the weather would not cooperate. And then my husband had major cuts in hours at work. By the time the weather cleared up & we got a little money scraped together, enough time had passed that we just had to skip the birthdays altogether. We allowed our oldest daughter (she's 8) to invite her 3 closest friends over for an afternoon so she didn't feel completely neglected. We explained to her that due to things out of our control, we couldn't have a big party for her or her sisters this year. My girls all understood and were happy just having my cupcakes and ice cream. Don't fret too much over it. I'm sure it will turn out for the best :)

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi M.,

Is the birthday party on the 18th for your friend's 3 year old daughter?

If it is, ask her if you can join forces with her. If she agrees then help out with the games.

See if it is okay to invite your daughter's friends too.

Just a suggestion. Good luck. D.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

You have to consider the parent who gets the notice on the 8th that they have to go to Toys R Us and get a gift before the 12th. People are busy and this just isn't enough time. You probably won't get many people who don't already have plans. If you have to do it this way, get the invites out Tuesday at least or state "no gifts."

Next question: Birthday Celebration Ideas for My 11 Year Old Son