Birthday Parties - Farmington,MI

Updated on June 24, 2014
J.S. asks from Farmington, MI
15 answers

Hi! My son has been invited to numerous parties and sometimes his younger sister is invited and sometimes she isnt. We see some of the families socially. This is my daughters first friend party. Am I obligated to invite his friends to her party? We don't socialize all that much. I am all for siblings coming of her friends. They are 18 months apart. We are having a party at our house so I could invite them bad siblings. But not sure I wanted to go down thst route unless it's the right things. TIA!

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answers from Santa Barbara on

Nope. Make it about her.

For some reason (maybe convenience for my life) I am friends with many families who have a child similar in age gender for both my kids. Basically a double playdate.

2 moms found this helpful

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answers from Washington DC on

No, IMO you are not required to invite the other kids. You may want to, especially if your DD is also friends with the other kids, but you should also keep in mind the ages of the kids, the interests, and your own budget. If the party is FOR HER, then it should be her friends. Down the line, he may even prefer to hightail it out of there - my SS begged us to stay overnight with his own friends whenever SD had a sleepover.

Though, note that some people don't "get" that the invite is for one child or another, so you might need to phrase it as, "Susie is invited to Julia's party on x day and time." Be specific.

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answers from New York on

No. Let her have a party with her OWN friends.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Baton Rouge on

It's HER party, so you invite HER friends.
When it's HIS birthday, you invite HIS friends.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

Stick with her friends for her first party.

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answers from Washington DC on

I am assuming your kids are both pretty young. The whole thing where parents dump their other kids at a party where only one kid was the invited guest tends to end once children are in older elementary, I think.

If you start inviting your son's friends to your daughter's party (and vice versa when it's his birthday) you are going to start making your kids assume that it's normal, and frankly it's just not. Let EACH child have his or her own individual party and that means his or her own friends.

If you invite the sibling's friends too, you will end up having to limit the number of guests the party child can have -- and that's not fair to the birthday girl or boy. It's also setting your kids up to resent each other if you insist that they both have guests at parties that are supposed to be focused on just one of them.

There is zero obligation on your part to invite anyone other than your daughter's chosen guest list. And as someone else noted, be VERY clear in invitations that the invited, named child is the guest and that it is not a drop-off party where parents can dump extra siblings.

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answers from Chicago on

I don't! The kids do have separate friends, and some in common.
Each kid gets their own friends, and the common friends are invited to both.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Grand Forks on

My kids have always invited their own friends to their parties. People around here don't invite siblings or parents, just the friends.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Toledo on

It's your party. You choose who to invite. Some people allow their other siblings to invite a friend so they have someone to play with. But it's your party, so you get to decide.

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answers from Los Angeles on

You're not obligated.
Do what you want for your daughter's birthday.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Boston on

That's the problem with siblings being invited. You're kind of stuck.

We always kept our parties very small. If people have parties with 25 kids, it's no big deal to invite 30. But that creates 2 problems: a precedent, and a huge bill for parties and presents throughout the year.

Don't start what you don't want to finish. At some point, kids don't really want to go to parties of kids who are different ages. They want their own parties. And most families don't want a party every weekend for either themselves or their kids. Too much to schedule, too expensive, and it just turns into a giant, town-wide gift exchange.

Set your own boundaries, and do what you want. But no, you are not obligated to invite your son's friends to your daughter's party. Invite a few of HER friends and that's it. Keep everyone's parties small. Then you can still socialize with the other families for non-birthday gatherings.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

No, if you make it a girly party then boys won't want to come. Some of your friends will always bring all the kids with them. It's just like that. You're a friend so you don't exclude. Especially when you know they don't want to hire a babysitter so they can come.

I don't mind, why?, because I buy a big cake and bring a big ice cream. I DON'T do goody bags. So I can accommodate a LOT of kids showing up. If they don't? I get to have cake for dessert for a few days.



answers from Pittsburgh on

You are not obligated to. However, you may want to consider letting him invite one friend so he has someone to play with during the party.



answers from Los Angeles on

It is your decision. There is no right or wrong answer. If you feel that your daughter would be happy to have the siblings and you don't mind the extra kids (and the extra expense), then go ahead. But, if you want it to only be the ones her age, make it clear on the invitation. Address it only to the child you are inviting.

We have done both. My son and daughter are three years apart, but we have 7 friends that have a boy his age and a girl hers. Sometimes everyone is invited (usually at home or to a park) and sometimes on the same-age children are invited (more often when the host is paying per child to attend somewhere).


answers from Washington DC on

heavens, no!
and you're not obligated to invite all of his friends either.
keep it manageable, and fun, and that usually means KISS.

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