Best Way to Get My Son off the BOOB?

Girl, if it was up to him, you'd be breastfeeding when he's 5. Since you are weaning him off, knock off another day and pump some breastmilk so he still gets the taste

I would say that you should wean slowly but don't do it all at once. Let him get familiar with the bottle but as long as you can keep nursing, you should until you can't anymore. The best milk is breast milk and since he is not two yet, he is still getting excellent nutrients.

I extended my nursing as well...16 months, 13 months and 20 months respectively. Let me start by saying switch to a sippy cup rather than a bottle. A bottle at 18 months will reshape his mouth and cause permanent damage...perhaps cosmetically teeth can get fixed to some degree, but my sister who is a dentist says there are many permanent issues that occur if the bottle is not removed by 18 months. Nursing is different.

The way I broke each of my children was I first cut out one feeding at a time. The hardest is the nap and bedtime because this is when they like the most comfort and nothing is more comfortable than to snuggle up to mom. My daughter was the last one I broke so I will tell how I did it with her...which was the same with all 3, but she was closer to your sons age. I told her that she is getting to be a big girl now and it is time to say bye bye to nursing. She whimpered a little and said "but why?" I told her we were not going to nurse at nap time today, but she could have a sippy cup of water incase she needed a drink and I would snuggle her, tell her a story, sing to her, say a prayer and then put her in her bed. I told her I would nurse her tonight at bedtime. She said okay. So I followed my routine and put her in bed as stated. She started to say "no" in a whimper and cry. I just in a calm voice again reiterated that we are all done nursing at naptime and she will take a nice nap and when she wakes up I will give her a big hug. I offered her one more hug and said good night. She put herself to sleep. Then at bedtime she wanted to nurse FOREVER. I had to tell her it was time to say night night to nursing. She whimpered a little, but this time said okay. I reassured her again and she was fine. Then next day at nap she said "mommy, nuh-s" and I said, "tonight at bedtime,okay?" and she said okay. She again tried to nurse longer at bedtime and I again had to break her away lovingly. This time there was no whimper, she just accepted it. The 3rd day she didn't make a sound and this time had less interest at bedtime. 2 days later I decided to give it up entirely and told her again it was time to stop nursing at night time. She said okay and went to bed without a whimper. I cried because I felt bad and I was done nursing my baby. It was the 1st time in 5 years that I was not either nursing and or pregnant. So I was a bit happy for the freedom. After I got over feeling bad, I felt great. She still loves to snuggle close and really doesn't miss it at least not that I can tell. She was weaned 3.5 months ago. It truly only takes 3 days to establish a routine with a kid, but you must be consistant. Good luck, God Bless and I hope you have an easy time breaking your little guy. One thing that seemed important for all 3 of mine was having that cup of water to go to bed with as well as being consistant and honest.

B. :)

well if you do decide to stop and need help try painting your boob black. I know that sounds wierd but a friend of mine nursed her children till they where two and this is how she got them to stop.

How about telling him "In a few days, Mommy's milk is going to be all gone. Then you will get to drink from a cup all the time just like mom and dad!" Buy him some Sesame Street cups or whatever he's into, and make a big deal about him being a "big boy". He's probably old enough to understand "all gone", so you just have to say it and stick to it, and if you want to give him some warning just tell him for a few consecutive days "in a few days Mommy won't have any more milk." Then, "It's almost gone." And "this is the last time you can drink Mommy's milk." It will be hard for both of you, but it's only going to get harder unless you just want to wait him out and keep nursing until he quits (and that may be soon, or it may be in the distant future!) You might also try introducing a new "big boy" privilege just to reinforce that growing up is a good and special thing and that he's not being punished. Maybe he gets to have a special snack he's never had before. Maybe he gets to read books before nap time with you instead of nursing. Try to think of something that he'll be excited about and make it a part of his new routine.

As for taking his comfort away, maybe you're not thinking about all the other ways you comfort him. When he starts pulling at your shirt, give him a cup of water and pull him on to your lap to read a story together. If he gets hurt and wants to nurse for comfort, cuddle him while you watch a video together. There are so many ways to give your son comfort and attention that you don't need to feel guilty over removing one of the many ways he connects with you.

Best of luck!
N.

Michele:

I agree that 18 months is long enough to nurse (after six months, he can make his own antibodies). If he is eating a healthy diet, weaning him off is perfectly fine. What is not okay, is giving him a bottle. Bottles after a year can lead to malformed teeth (and bite) as well as, increase ear infections. Instead of a bottle, use a sippy cup. Start to cut down on your feedings (via nursing) every few days until he is off the boob (so to speak). It will be difficult for a week or so, but he will be fine.

A. L

Hi M., I totally understand your delima. I nursed all three of my children. I was at home with my last son and he nursed the longest until he was 14 months old. He was very attached as well and did not want to give it up. The only way I was able to ween him was to stop nursing cold turkey. I was hard for him for about 3-4 days, but then he didn't even care anymore. Those 3-4 days were hard for me, he would grab at them, hit me, try to pull them out, but I had to stick to it if he was ever going to stop. It is also easy for us to continue because and nap and bed time nursing would put them right to sleep. The only way to ween him is to stop nursing completely all at once. Good Luck, and I know it can be done and he will get over it and start eating more food as well.

I am very involved with our local La Leche League group here and my PERSONAL opinion is that you should let him wean naturally...when he's ready. I nursed my first son till he was 22 months old even though i had only "intended" on doing it a year or so. That all changed when i saw that he really needed me. I plan on using this same method with my 7 month old son too. You might want to check out the book, "How weaning happens" which is a good read.

With all that being said, if you really are ready to wean and you think it is your only option, try the don't ask, don't refuse policy. It means you don't bring it up and only nurse when he asks. Quite honestly, he will wean himself when ready. Also, try offering other comforting measures like hugs, playtime, story time, etc. to take the place of the nursing. 18 months is still young in my opinion. I would have happily nursed my first son another year if he so chose, but i knew he was ready and it was a great weaning experience because neither of us resented each other. He knew i was there for him until he didn't need me any longer for nursing.

good luck! :)

C.

It sounds like he's just comfort nursing right now. Probably to go to sleep since it's before bed. If you could get someone to take over at least bed time and don't let him fall asleep while nursing/taking a bottle before either sleep then it will be easier for him to give it up.

I know how you feel. Although I had a terrible time nursing my DS#2 at first by the time he was old enough to be weaned he just came to rely on it as a pacifier. I think he this age when we finally went cold turkey.

I would take the bottle away also and introduce him to soft spouted sippies. This way you dont have to ween him away from bottles in a couple of months also. Take away feeding him your breast at nap time give him a sippie of milk. It will be hard for the first couple of days. The worst is getting him off the breast at bedtime. Do the same for for bedtime that you did for his nap "but wait till he has gotten used to not breastfeeding for his nap" after he has had his sippie of milk or a snack give him a sippie of water to take to bed with him. It helped with mine. I also breastfed both my boys until they was 1 1/2 old. I did everything I just said to you. So good luck.

I went through the same thing and at this point the next step I took was to get rid of the boob at naptime - make sure that he is tired - and let him cry. After about 1 week get rid of the bed time feeding - I found with both of my kids that bedtime was a breeze because they had already gotten used the missed nap feeding and our naptime and bedtime routines were about the same
Good Luck!!!!!

I am a mother of 2 boys 9 and 6 oh and one on the way. I nursed my second child until 1 week before his 2nd birthday. With the same intenet you have. I didnt want to hurt my son. I was down to nursing at nighttime more for a comfort thing. Finally the "tough love" had to come into play. Many nights of crying, but if you stick with it I promise it will work. Maybe introduce sippy cups for BIG boys also. I think what it really is that moms dont want to stop. It isnt the kids.

My son didn't have self comforting skills either. I nursed him until he was 2 1/2, when I was forced to wean him because I was pregnant again and it became very painful. I did teach him to say "nurse" rather than "boob" though. :) It turned out that my son was diagnosed with Autism and I am very glad that I didn't force-wean him sooner. As far as what other people think... The American culture just hasn't come around to the correct thinking. Remember after all that it was only about 20 years ago that formula was believed to be superior and breastfeeding was only something that poor women did. There will come a time when the time is right and you will know it. Don't feel preasured into weaning sooner than either of you are ready. He will grow into a little boy one day and you will miss the closeness and quiet times.
I intend to nurse my 4 month old until he is ready and the time is right, not a date on the calendar or a "magic" age.

The World Health Organization recommends at least 2 years, so at 218 months your son has not even reached the minimum age for nursing yet. The world average is 4-7 years. At 18 months he is still very much a baby, he still needs you to care for his needs in every way. One of those needs in nursing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with nursing him now, and continueing to until he's ready to stop. Many mother's make the choice to continue nursing them children until the children choose to stop.

Here is an article that describes the biological norm for a child weaning from breastmilk. Despit what the cultural expectation is, children are wired to follow their biological cues. http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html

I invite you to join an online parenting group that discussing everything from breastfeding to sleeping habits to school. We would love to have you join us. :) www.c2pp.com

Hi M.

I have a 10month old son and I want to ween him before he is 1yr old, I took away the mid morning feeding, I guess the best way to do it, is to play games with him around the time you would nurse him or give him something else to eat, basically try to occupy his mind and hands with something else, I find that holding my son around the time I would do that nursing time,he seems to want me, try not to be holding him sit on the floor play ball or go for a drive in the car, walk the mall, just something to get his mind off the Boob. Give him water in between the feedings and at the feeding you are trying to stop. My son is the same way, if he is sitting on my lap he trys to pull down my shirt and look in or pull my shirt up, I think he even said boobie one day, or he points to them, try not to give in, it takes time but it will happen.

Hope that helps

G.

H M.- I have only nursed my baby for four months so far, but my best friend's son breast fed until he was almost three. He is now a very well adjusted 7 year old. (He just weaned himself when he was ready) I don't know that I want to go that long either, but I also think about their little comforts and that there will probably be no other time in their lives when they feel so safe and secure as when they are nursing with mom--and I really treasure that, so I'm hoping I can last as long as my little one wants to nurse. It's healthy for them.