Best Sleep Training Method for 8-Month-Old

Updated on January 07, 2012
E.M. asks from Brick, NJ
11 answers

My DD is 8 months old and is not sleeping very well. She was a good sleeper for about the first four months of life (up only once or twice a night, going right back to sleep after nursing). But for the past few months she has been waking more and more and I am having a hard time getting her back to sleep even with the nursing. I can't remember the last time she didn't end up sleeping in our bed for part of the night, because that is often the only way she will go back to sleep. She also has been waking frequently in the early night, which has made it really hard for me to spend any time with my older two children and get them to bed, not to mention my poor husband. I also can't remember the last time he and I were able to be intimate. . . that's maybe TMI but I feel like it's a big issue and I am not willing to sacrifice the health of my marriage. I used all types of sleep training methods with my older two, with varying degrees of success. At one point or another they both cried it out, but I am not really ready to let my DD do that. Is there any method that lessens the amount of crying but works relatively quickly? I am totally exhausted and don't think I have the energy for a Pantley-type approach. FYI I have almost never let my DD cry to this point, maybe 5 minutes a few times. Do you think letting her cry but soothing her next to the crib is a decent approach? Has anyone tried the Baby Whisperer method? I am getting desperate and I feel like my whole familiy is suffering due to these problems. I myself have a sinus infection and I am not getting better because I can't get any rest. Any ideas at all are welcome, but please no judgement or guilt trips. Thanks.

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S.Q.

answers from Bellingham on

I did Teach to Sleep. It's like the Ferber method. It worked in about 20 minutes for my first born. Remember the mantra, 'calm, confident, consistent. Calm, confident, consistent'

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A.F.

answers from Houston on

At about 7 months I moved our daughter from our bed to her crib to start the night. She typically would wake up once around 3 or 4 and I'd get her and bring her back to my bed at that point to nurse and sleep the rest of the morning.

There were times she would wake up earlier than that and (if I knew it was earlier than normal - sometimes I would get her and realize it was 12 or 1!) I would just wait it out a bit. I wanted to see what type of crying she would do. Was it just a little bit of fussing as she went back to sleep? Was it real crying, but fading fast? If it was either of these I'd let her cry for 10-15 minutes. I knew she was probably still half asleep, anyway.

If any type of crying went on longer than 10-15 minutes I would go to her. And of course, if it was screaming crying, I'd go immediately.

My daughter has always used crying and making noise to try to stay awake, so if I got her every time she made a peep, I would have been encouraging her to wake up when she might have just gone back to sleep.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My daughter was 8 months old when I decided to try the cry it out method. I don't mean putting your child in her crib and leaving her to scream all night! I mean doing a routine with her at night (and same for naps) like bath, read, nurse and then lay down in crib. Walk out. If she cries, let her cry for just like 2-3 minutes to start. Then go in, pat her tummy or rub her head then walk out. You are in there for all of 5 seconds and do NOT take her out of her crib. If she cries again, let her cry for around 5 min and then go in and repeat. Extend the time each time. It took my daughter 3 nights and she was sleeping through the night and still is at almost 4 years old. My son was tricky, he wasn't as responsive to the CIO, but I persisted and adjusted things to work for him. One thing to keep in mind is that one method may not work for you, you may have to use several methods or tweak one to your and your child's personality. The CIO method is not bad for your child. If you are giving your daughter the love and attention she needs at all other times of the day, which I am sure you are, then letting her cry for a L. bit is not going to damage her as some research likes to say! Teaching your child to fall asleep on her own is teaching her a very important life skill. Ultimately, you need to try a strategy that is best for you. I think what you suggested is a great idea if you don't like the thought of walking out and letting her cry for a L. bit. Maybe put her down and then sit next to her crib and then the next night moving a L. farther away from the crib. Each night move farther and farther away until you are outside her door. Hugs to you because those sleepless nights are tough. You'll make it work, don't get discouraged!

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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1 mom found this helpful
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A.L.

answers from Austin on

I'm always a little confused by what people refer to as the Cry-It-Out method. Is that just leaving them to cry? I wonder if people have it confused with Ferber, which is what we did. It takes about three days, and it does involve crying, but they're not just left. You leave them for 2 minutes, go in for a visit (give them a pat, sing or talk, but don't pick them up - you're just extending the cycle), then leave them again, this time for 5 minutes. (They will cry louder this time, by the way.) Visit, then leave for 7 minutes. And so on... pick a time limit you will go up to, for us it was 10 minutes. So after the ten-minute leave, visit, then leave them for 10 minutes, and keep it up until they fall asleep. This reassures them that you are still there, but it gives them a chance to learn self-soothing, too. You have to be consistent. Do the same thing at nap time and after they wake in the night. (Always attend to whatever needs they have first, of course - hunger, diaper, whatever.) I highly recommend reading the book, even if just for the chapter on sleep cycles. My husband and I use that information for setting our own alarm clocks, and it helps us get up in the mornings.

Whatever method you decide to go with, hang in there. I hope you get better soon.

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L.A.

answers from New York on

We used the Ferber method early (at 3 months), it worked for us. See if you can get a night off or two and get over your infection before you try ANY sleep training method. Anything you do requires good health, patience and resolve.

Get hubs, your mom, a college aged nephew, etc to step in for a 6-8 hour stretch, day or night so you can get some proper rest and healing.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.P.

answers from New York on

You can get your baby to sleep without any type of crying method. I did. You need tools though. You need a aquarium type light/music device that attaches to the crib and the baby can turn on at night by herself. She also needs a "lovie" to help her self-soothe. Make sure she has a full belly and nurse her to sleep while playing the music from the device. When she is asleep, put her in the crib and keep your hand on her or whatever she likes to keep her from waking up. When she is asleep, leave. If she wakes up, she will cry, obviously. Do not go in immediately. Let her cry for a few minutes. If it escalates, go in and do the whole thing over. Make sure the same music is playing and she is holding her lovie each time. Do not bring her to your room. If she is teething, give her medicine before bed. She will accidentally turn on the music a few times and that will remind her that it is sleepy time. As long as she has her lovie, she will very soon, go back to sleep unless she is ill or teething. Don't believe that getting your child to go to sleep without more than a few minutes of crying or complaining can't be done.

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B.B.

answers from Missoula on

We did Ferber with our first baby, but for any number of reasons it wasn't working with baby number 2. I got The Sleepeasy Solution from the library. I haven't read it yet, but it is described as a "least cry" method, which appeals to me.
Maybe it will work for you?

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Y.B.

answers from Seattle on

Why don't you just have her sleep with you from the start? That is what I had to do. And we had to be creative with where we had sex. The bed was taken up by the little one. Yes it may be inconvenient, but I was able to get sleep and able to maintain a relationship with my husband. We now have baby number 2 and we are doing the same thing. I get plenty of sleep and so does everyone else. Also try the neti pot for your sinus infection to see if that helps and goot http://www.oasisadvancedwellness.com/health-articles/2010...

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

Here is an idea that may or may not help. I had things set up that each kid was in the crib in my bedroom until they went into a bed as a toddler. Maybe a pack and play in your room would be one place to put the baby after waking up at night so she is not in your bed if you don't want to cosleep. it isn't a perfect solution but is did involve less getting up at night since it was the same room. Also I could have the baby in bed with me a few minutes and then easily put them back in the crib. It may end up with a different habit to break but it could get you enough sleep to get over your sinus infection.
You may want to check for teething at that age.

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M.W.

answers from New York on

I had my son cosleep with me until 2 months before next baby. I did try him in crib but he would cry too long for me to handle it . I finally started lying down on floor of crib with him and insisted he lie down and hold my arm... Starting at one we did this and if he wouldn't settle down id leave room until he would lie down with me on floor holding my arm through crib. It worked but he still need daddy at 2 1/2 to stay in bed with him till falls asleep. I am now just past week doing the next to crib thing with dd and working much better with her. Almost 15 months. We coslept long time and I am taking her back in middle of night. This long weening of sleeping with me process worked for us. Very little crying. I am sure at age two I will be lying down with DD in her toddler bed but that's ok with me. She falls asleep fast. With DS in beginning it was kind of Ferber but I'd end up on floor soothing him....

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