Belated Birthday Parties

Updated on September 14, 2017
L.F. asks from Roswell, GA
11 answers it just me or is it good etiquette to have a birthday party months after a child has had thier b-day. My dtr was invited to a swim party in June for a friend's birthday that was in January. My son just rec'd an invite for a movie/sleepover party in July for a birthday that was in March. Is this the new trend? Why do you have a b-day party 3 to 6 mos. after your child's b-day? If your child wants a swim party why must you call it a belated b-day party and have everyone bring a gift? Why not just have a swim party and call it a swim party. If you want to take a few kids to the movies and have a sleepover just do it. Both of these birthday parties were for 10 yr olds - old enough to understand that it is not even close to their b-day.

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answers from Atlanta on

My kids birthdays are near Christmas and there is always conflicts with their friends be it dance, football, Christmas shopping, their parents Christmas work party, etc. It is difficult for children to understand that other things get in the way of their celebration. Since I only allow 2 to 3 friends per child anyway and it ends up that most of them can't come, we have had to resort to doing it a different time of year.

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answers from Los Angeles on

I'm dealing with that right now daughter turned 10 in July and we didn't get to celebrate it due to it being summer and EVERYONE is out of town. She made me feel bad when she said her brother had a party. his birthday is in May he turned 3 and we seriously invited 5 friends of ours with families that has kids that he plays with. We all meet up at McDonald's. The kids got happy meals and we bought whatever the adults wanted to eat and seriously got a small pack of cupcakes for them. It was only a 2-3 hour thing but I guess to her it was a big deal.
My kids are 7 yrs apart and my daughter always had big parties for the first 6 yrs. (her 5th birthday party was held at Disneyland with a post-celebration party the weekend before for those who couldn't join us at Disneyland.) My son only had one "big" party which was his 1st birthday and his 2nd one was a simple backyard BBQ.
I told her we can probably take her and a few friends to sky zone to celebrate but I'm not sure if I should just have her one with only friends here at the house?
(I know if I have her one at sky zone people will bring kids I've never seen lol)
What should I do?



answers from Atlanta on

Well...I am not sure you want to hear my answer, but if the child is having the birthday several months from the original date, without having one on the exact date, I don't know why there would a problem...I could see your issue if the child was having 2 parties and you were invited to one or both, but sometimes due to illness or activities, kids can't have their party on the exact date. On my daughters 5th birthday, she had rotavirus and we had to cancel (that was in March) and we didn't re-schedule it in October...if you think it is silly, just don't go...just my thoughts :)



answers from Kansas City on

My daughter's bday was last week, but because of summer traveling and my work schedule, we're not going to get a chance to have her party until a month after her birthday. So I can understand why it might not work into a family's schedule to have a party until a couple months after the actual birthday. I also understand a 10yo wanting their bday party to be a swimming party. I think postponing it for that reason is just fine, as long as they don't have a party in January as well.



answers from Atlanta on

When someone wants to have a swim party, but has a birthday in January -that is what you do -have it when the weather is warm. You don't know what that family has going on, and it's none of your business when they have a birthday party.

Find something else to have a snit about -something that is important.



answers from Macon on

I find it kind of amusing in a way. Little Tommy needs new toys? LOL. But, for some families it can make sense I suppose.



answers from San Francisco on

As a parent of kids who were born on thanksgiving, and good friends with a mom whose daughter's birthday almost always falls on Memorial day weekend (and has had more than one party where only 1 friend was able to attend), I can say that there are some practical reasons for having a b-day party that isn't at the same time of year as the actual b-day - any time the b-day falls around a long weekend or winter break or is in the thick of a holiday or busy-time-of-school year (e.g. near graduations, mothers day/fathers day, etc.) the family finds that either the majority of the friends will be out of town, they have too many other things going on to add "party planning" to the list, or both.

And for a January b-day, given that many families are already 'partied out' with winter break and december holidays, it's not surprising that a family might prefer to have the party in the summer time esp. if all their prior b-day celebrations have been indoors in cold/rainy weather.

Just my $0.02. We usually hold our daughters' b-day party in late October because we can have it outdoors in the back yard with less worry about a rain out :-)



answers from Charleston on

I don't think etiquette even enters in to the equation. Families adapt. Sometimes there are situations that may interfere with the planning and execution of a "friend" party close to the actual date of a child's birthday. Family emergencies, finances, illness, holidays, divorce....a million things that can throw a wrench in parents' ability to have a party, but do little to mitigate a child's disappointment over not having a celebration with their friends. It isn't about the date or the calendar. It's about the celebration.


answers from Myrtle Beach on

I understand the swim party in June for a party in January! Almost all kids would love to have a pool party, but seeing their birthdays don't allow them to do so because of the weather, I see that as being ok...
However the movies and sleepover, I don't understand, maybe money was tight for the family, and they promised their child they could have a bday party as soon as funds are available?!
Those are just my thoughts, hope your kids have fun!



answers from Spartanburg on

Unless the child won't live to see the next birthday, I consider it rude. If you can't do a big party it is not a sin. A small party on their birthday is more important than a big party when there is no real reason for it.



answers from Atlanta on

There are many reasons why a birthday might be schedule at a later date - from financial to simple preference. As long as you're not asked to buy more than one gift per year, just be happy your child is being invited.

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