Being a SAHM and Being LONELY

Updated on April 30, 2010
J.P. asks from Savannah, GA
16 answers

Ok ladies I'll try to not be too long winded here. I am A SAHM and soooooo grateful for that. I love being with my little guys all day, and wouldnt have it any other way. My issue is that lately I feel so alone, and a little depressed. I feel like everyday is the same day, and its honestly getting me a little grumpy. Which I dont want!! We go to parks, playgrounds, science centers etc etc. But its just me and my kids. All of my girlfriends work, I am NOT close with my mom, and even my MIL works alot. I have joined a "playgroup" and attend as many outtings as possible. But although I really like alot of these moms, it seems they are all quite busy with their lives, and I havent scheduled any meetups outside of the groups. I'd love to get out more, and FRIENDS who are in the same boat as me, and who'd like to hang out maybe once a week. How and where do you "meet" other moms like myself? Any and all suggestions are welcome. I would love adult conversation once in awhile :)

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

Meet-up.com

We joined two different groups last Winter. A year later, my daughter has a bunch of best friends and I have a group of women I get to hang with a few times a week. It's great fun. It took time to make friends, but I found two women I click with really well.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Savannah on

I also feel the same way! I joined 2 groups and have made "friends" but I always feel like an outsider. I have a daughter in Pre-K going into kindergarten and a son that does preschool 2X a week for now. I live in Pooler and would be wiling to meet up for some adult conversation! lol
Here is my e-mail if you's [email protected]____.com

M.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I know just what you mean!!! And people always tell you to join MOPs or some other church group. If you are religious that is a good suggestion, but some of us are not, so where do us non-religious moms go to meet other mommies? I am actually planning on sighing up for an auto mechanics class, and some art classes at night hoping to meet some like minded people I connect with. Groups like Jazzercise can be a great place to meet people, and the day class is usually full of SAHMs.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.C.

answers from Joplin on

Find out where a MOPs is in your area...MOPs is Mothers of pre-schoolers. Go to story hours at the library, find a class for your childs age, they have them for Every age now, no joke! Then all the momma's talk = ) Also a gym is a great place to meet other moms, even the local playground, it is worse than HS, I know it is hard, but you just have to put yourself out there. I am very outgoing I have no problem starting up a conversation...all friendships start out at the same place, a friendly hello = )

1 mom found this helpful
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T.F.

answers from San Diego on

I agree with Rochelle. Meetup.com has lots of different kinds of groups. Maybe you can start a hobbie and join a group related to that hobbie. I can completely understand were you are coming from. I love being a SAHM but I also felt like I was not me anymore. I was just mom and wife and never took anytime for myself. I have learned to be a great SAHM and wife you have to remember to take time for yourself. I am in a mom's group that schedules at least something once a week and I also just signed up for a cake decorating class at Micheal's that meets one night a week for 4 weeks. I also think that by your getting out of the house more your husband and children will have a time to bond with each other. Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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B.M.

answers from Dallas on

it is such a lonely job isn't it? I often feel this way too, and I want you to know I think it's a normal feeling that most stay at home moms feel. I encourage you to get involved with a M.O.P.'s (mother of preschoolers) program or a local program through a church. I know that around here there are SEVERAL churches that offer twice a month meetings for mom's and for a trivial amount of money they cover childcare costs. That is how I have met most of my stay-at-home mom friends and it is so nice to go to the meetings and chat with other moms who are in similar situations while your kids are having a blast being taken care of by someone else! I hope this helps!!!

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C.E.

answers from Boca Raton on

HI, I am a SAHM of 3 and also babysit part-time during the week as well. Needless to say I am surrounded by little people ALL DAY!!! I too can get overwhelmed at times and feel a bit Lonely... I do go to the zoo,parks,walks around neighborhood but feel that most people really are busy in their own lives to really reach out....Mommy groups are fine and sometimes you can make friends with people that have kids around the same age as yours...I am so busy during the week that I just don't have the time to join one...I do have a sister that lives close and she has become sorta my friend and we go out when we can....If you would like some ADULT conversation you could email me back and we can communicate that way.....Stay strong Mamma and this time of raising kids will pass soon enough!!!!

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S.M.

answers from Casper on

I totally sympathize. It seems that when I do find another mom to hang out with, we just don't click together. I've kind of had to feel it out. I have one mom in my neighborhood that I can usually drop in on, except on Mondays and Tuesdays, and our kids can play. Some days we strike up a conversation and others, the kids are in our face and we can't think of much to say to each other. It seems so many other moms are too busy, they work, have too many kids, or even have animals, so while I'm welcome to come visit they are always on the go. My husband and I look forward to having a house where we can invite people over for Sunday evenings, get a little group together and enjoy each other. He also talks with friends on forums online, and they plan to get together for long drives & such (it's a car forum), so I look forward to someday being able to afford these vacations. Meanwhile I go to the grocery store, I sometimes attend MOPS (I don't love the spiritual 'message' even though I am Christian, but I often go anyways because it's a chance for my kids to go play with other children and I do get some conversation). I wouldn't say that cures me of my loneliness. Some of us are so blessed to be so different from each other, I guess it's just one of those things.

I am also not close with my mother, she never calls and my MIL, well I could tell stories, can't we all? In any case, I get a kick out of answering questions on here, reading articles and doing anything to pass the time and make me forget that I'm alone.

I guess my point is you are not alone in this feeling of loneliness. But things pass and this should get better for you. Take some classes and do what you can, then just wait for the sun to shine on the things that are beyond your grasp. Last of all, if you are religious, and I hope you are, pray for friends, and someone to be there for you.

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L.M.

answers from Savannah on

wow i feel the same way contact me and lets chat? Where do u live in live n rincon ga outside of savannah ga. I feel the exact same way sounded like a posting i would have posted Heres how u can contact ,me email :[email protected]____.com or yahoo id:marykate624 or myspace.com/llchance or facebook: search L. Macpherson Wilcox
my husband commutes to work mon thru fri frm 530 am gets home bout 7 i have a 6 mnth old at home and he has the van all during the week so saturdays are the only time to get out. We live a mile frm walmart and other places so we occasionally walk during the day there just to get outta the house or walk to the park . He has three boys frm pervious marriage he has full custody we have them all the time the mom never gets them we never get a break i have two kids frm previous son is 10 daughter is 6 his are 13, 9 , 8 his three are all special needs kids 0ldest autistic aspergers, second has seizures, ODD,ADHD, ADD & is 2 yrs behind in school and third one hes 8 in the 1st grade for the third time and bout to be 4th for this comin year. third one has ADHD,ADD,ODD PDD,(pervasive developmental disorder,congential dislocation of the arms and elbows and ankles.we never geta break frm kids so i am ways overwhelmed irritated and aggervated we never get anytime without kids ium tryin to contact agencies to help us with some kind of care .so get in touch with me and we can chat to get some steam off and just talk i have no one either and dont getalong with my mom either. i will be 32 in june.

L.

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R.J.

answers from Phoenix on

Check out meetup.com, it is a great place to find mom groups in your area. You can even start your own group for very little money. I run a group in Arizona....if you need more info, send me a message.

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S.M.

answers from Spokane on

Being a SAHM can be lonely...believe me you are not alone in your aloneness! : )
Especially when your significant other works a lot! The way I met all my friends when I first moved to town with little ones was join a mom's group. This was not just a "play-group" this was a parent/toddler group which had about 30 members. But, this was not really how I made friends, I only really made friends when I became quite active in the group (getting on the board and planning committee) or volunteering for something like that. I think every mom I met in this group I am still friends with to this day. (kids are 7 and 9 now) You can find such groups through parks and rec, churches (and many churches don't require you to be a member of the church to join) or ask at the nearest hospital/maternity ward if they know of any groups like this. Also if you feel comfortable with getting a babysitter now and then - please do so, so you can do something fun for you (even if you just go to the local library and look at magazines or sit and have a quiet cup of coffee) I did not do this enough when my kids were little and really I think my health suffered for it. (and my kids saw too much of grouchy mama) : )

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C.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

Your church (if you have one), La Leche League, other mom's groups at churches in the area (call around and ask if they have one), attachment parenting groups (if you are interested in that)... I just googled "mom's group savannah georgia" and got several possibilities.

Have you tried asking these other moms if they want to have a play date? Maybe they feel the same as you but think you are probably too busy. You might have to be the agressive one at first, but it will probably pay off with one or two moms who are lonely also.

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C.M.

answers from Austin on

I know how you feel. I felt very VERY lonely until I started to take classes at the local community college. Night and weekend class is full of SAHM's.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

-If you belong to a church, check for a women's group- many religious organizations have clubs that meet regularly and do both social and charitable activities. My mother LOVES her women's group and has found a lot of new friends.

-Take a class at the gym- many gyms offer childcare, so you can go during the day when other moms are there too! I am still in touch with some of my yoga buddies from our previous gym.

- Volunteer with a children's organization- plenty of moms there too who may be in the same boat!

M.P.

answers from Provo on

I'm rather lonely myself. If you'd like we can email so we can have adult conversations with someone. Something to look forward to each day :)

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M.C.

answers from Savannah on

I've really enjoyed MOMS Club. There's a good group here in Savannah. You can look them up on meetup.com or google MOMS Club.

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