Behavior in Kindergarten

Updated on April 02, 2008
R.C. asks from Coppell, TX
43 answers

I have a son in Kindergarten who comes home with notes from the teacher about once a week indicating that he had a disruptive day. Does anyone have experience with this? Does this seem too frequent or is this pretty normal for a very active little boy? We have considered having him tested for ADD, but don't want to blow something out of proportion. Our older child never had this happen, but they have very different personalities. He has some trouble controlling his anger at home. Any experience you have would be helpful - thanks.

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So What Happened?

Thanks so much for all of the helpful stories and perspectives - they really helped to put our situation into perspective. We have contacted his teacher to have a meeting and try to resolve consistently what is happening in the classroom and he has his birthday visit to the ped. coming up soon so we will discuss with him as well, he is very down to earth and I expect he will say let the boy mature. We won't move forward on any Add/Adhd testing at this time.

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L.J.

answers from Dallas on

My son's K year was quite the same. Everyday, he would come home with notes like that. However, I could never get his teacher to give him something else to do. I really think that was my son's problem. He wasn't challenged enough. He is 10 now, and in GT. Perhaps you have the makings of a genius child.

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A.L.

answers from Dallas on

My did this and I told the teacher to give her more work because she was bored after she finished her work. She would talk to the kids that were not finished. The teacher gave her more work but for a high grade and she is now in the 10th grade taking AP classes. She has been taking AP class since the 4th grade.

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D.A.

answers from Dallas on

As a teacher and several years of experience working with little ones. The first thing you need to do is schedule a conference with his teacher. That way you can find out what he is doing, how she is disciplining him and what you can do as a team to come up with a plan to help him control his behavior. If he is being disruptive in class then maybe he needs to have consequences when he comes home, like take a privliage away from him. The key is working with his teacher and coming up with a plan that will motitvate him to make better choices.

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T.O.

answers from Abilene on

Are you sure you aren't watching a video of my house? Go ahead...it is okay to smile. I am a widow who is a teacher (6th grade) and my students act the same way as my first grader. Last year my son came in with notes every week. I even allowed his bottom to meet "right hand of fellowship" a couple of times. This year is not much different. He has the same teacher that my daughter had in first. My daughter is a totally different child, and it was a rough year for her. She went to see the counselor several times. So.....as a mom and a teacher I think there are sometimes just personality conflicts. This teacher is VERY different than I am. That MAY be a part of the concern. I found out that my son was not the only one(male or female) getting "marks" for behavior/not focusing. But...as a mom and teacher this still bothered me. I visited with the teacher when my son's reading grade dropped 11 points,and I had only see A's and B's coming in. The teacher by law could not tell me he should be on meds., but she continued to say "he can't focus". I left in tears. I am not against medication IF that is truly the problem, but after speaking to teachers at church, after school day care, and other teachers, I felt that maybe he is just a boy! That is how he was described at birth. Teachers today are so stressed, that it is hard to let boys be boys.... in a classroom. For personal reasons I decided NOT to do the medication thing. However, one of our special education teachers suggested a few things. Wow..the difference in my son is amazing. He has very few marks (from 3 a day to 1 or none), and his grades are wonderful. His reading is moving along so well. So...I say all of that to say that this is what I have tried. Please remember..I am not a doctor or a specialist. I am a concerned mom, and this worked for my child. The teacher next door gives her "active" daughter 4 Manatech (sp) gummy bear vitamins.
1. Attentive Child vitamins..(health food store)
2. Chewable Omega 3 (from Walgreens)
3. No "extra" sugars from the cafeteria. (ie. cookies, ice cream, or fruit punch) I put a red flag on his lunch number.
4. Lowered the amount of foods with red #40 (I think it is) and yellow dye.
My feelings are...as long as the grades are there then I am happy. IF he has problems in 2nd grade I will re-think the situation. As a test, I slacked on these during Spring Break. He will not miss taking vitamins during the school year! It took 3 days to get him on track again.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

My son is in Kindergarten and we have our good days and bad. The first two weeks of school we had a couple of yellow days, and then they really were very far in between. The last few weeks we have had more yellow days. My son is very active, not ADD just active. He was tested for GT and will begin going to those classes next week. I am hoping that this will help. I think that he is getting into trouble when he is doing things he has known how to do for a couple of years. My son also has a very vivid imagination and wants he gets it in his mind that somethings is supposed to be a certain way he wants to be shown why it is or isn't the way he thinks it should be. He gets very frustrated if he feels he isn't getting his point across. I don't know you might see if your son is bored. Age also plays a big part in this. The other factor is Spring! I used to teach and when the fronts move in it does affect behavior. And boys like their outside and freedom. Hang in there. He will get it and then it will be time for summer and then next year will be better! Stay consistent so that he knows the behavior is unacceptable.
H. M.

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A.B.

answers from Lubbock on

My 7 year old was thrown out of 2 daycares because he required too much discipline. Not to say that your situation is that extreme, but our lives are much happier since we had him tested for ADHD (at the beginning of kindergarten). We do have him medicated, but he should grow out of the need for medication in a few years. The stress caused by his disruptive behavior, phone calls from school everyday, embarassing temper tantrums all over town-a thing of the past. Dr. karen Rogers (on Quaker) came highly recommended, and I have been very happy with her and her staff.
For us, it wasnt worth the stress. Medication is not ideal to me, but we can't risk him developing bad learning habits. By the way, just this week I found out my son is doing so well on his AR tests, that the teacher has him helping other students. It was such a blessing to get a good note from the teacher!

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M.K.

answers from Dallas on

Is he learning? Is he bored in class? Could this be a cover up for not understanding what is going on in class? Medication is not always the way to go try changing the diet first.... no sugar or least limit the intake.

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B.B.

answers from Dallas on

My dd had the same thing happen to her and our pedi. said that he would not test for ADD until the second grade b/c you have a hard time distinguishing between "ants in the pants" and ADD until you have number grades to track progress. Hope this helps.

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J.G.

answers from Amarillo on

My daughter,who is now 17,was diagnosed with ADHD in first grade at the prompting of her teacher.(to have tested) She was also disruptive in Kindegarden. Though it was more than once a week. I was very young then and it was so h*** o* me emotionally.She would get in trouble for blurting out answers,wandering around the room,playing in the bathroom.(turning the lights on/off,)I would just pray that on Fridays her progress folder wouldn't be full of embarrasing antics for the week.
So,to make a long story short it doesn't sound like your little boy has the same tendecies(sp) We also had problems with my daughter at home. The good news is she has outgrown many of those behaviors.(just still some trouble staying on task and focusing)
Your sons teacher can give your son/you a little test. It consist of several questions. If you answer yes to a specific amount then that means he has ADD tendacies and you can decide if you want to go for further testing. Hope this advice was helpful. Have a good day.

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W.G.

answers from Dallas on

Hi R..
Since it is early Spring and our weather has been so crazy, I would make sure that he isn't having allergy "sinus" problems. When you have allergies, you don't sleep well. Listen for snoring and look for the covers on his bed to be pulled out and messy by morning. This could mean that he isn't sleeping well, which could explain a behavior problem. If he has a chronic allergy problem, have your pedi check his ears for fluid or infection. With fluid, he's hearing things almost like he is underwater. I would also think that loud noises would be bothersome and classrooms can get noisy! When kids don't feel 100% but don't really know why, it's hard for them to process how they really feel and it could come out as anger or frustration or just not wanting to be at school.

Just a thought from a different angle.
Good Luck!

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H.N.

answers from Abilene on

I have a son who is now 16 and was diagnosed with ADHD in the 3rd grade. We had the hardest time with teachers not telling us about behavior issues because they did not want him to get in trouble due to the fact that he was "just so sweet". I also have a child in Kindergarten who has just been diagnosed with Mild Autism. The classroom setting is a bit much for him. We started testing for a speech delay, and he also has sensory issues, along with social issues. He has very aggressive behavior at times and this is displayed both in the classroom and at home. These two are just 2 of our 5 children. The other 3 have no disabilities. I would be glad to talk with you about any of the concerns you might have to compare our children's behaviors. Best of luck!

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J.R.

answers from Dallas on

I just wanted to throw this in even though it isn't necessarily about your sons behavior. I taught 4th grade before I had kids and stayed home. As a beginning teacher, I was taught how to teach lessons and what to teach, not how to work with different students. There was never an in service on ADHD, and with so many kids being diagnosed with it, it is shocking to me now that it wasn't a topic. I had kids in my class who couldn't sit still and focus and I tried my best with them, but often myself got frustrated.
NOW- 5 years later and I have a son who is as energized and unfocused as it gets. I would redo my teaching years all over again with a new perspective: a parent with a boy. I stress boy. Girls are usually more mature and calm at this age, so I just pray that next year my son's kindergarten teacher is a parent with boy experience! So, sometimes it does depend on the teacher.

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R.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hello, I am a kindergarten teacher (9 yrs), I thought I might try to give you a lil help. First let me say, with the change(literally)in generations I have found that if your son is having just ONE "bad" day a week-he is doing pretty good, especially for an active child. Yes, sometimes this is normal, for any child. However, there may be some extenuating circumstances. First I have some clarification questions to ask you: What are/is the situation(s) centered around your son's disruptions(e.i. Is he just misbehaving, or is there some provoking going on; is a peer angering/influencing him; the teacher angering him; boredom; Are these days similar in nature? Is he exhibiting that same anger(u see at home)at school?
Sometimes this behavior is as simple as a child not getting enough rest, food, attention and/or something such as "problems" at home carrying over to the school environment; sometimes the personality of the child and the teacher clash; sometimes the child is not interested in learning so they act out, sometimes the child is a high achiever and is bored in school because he already knows the information. Just as a possible solution, offer him long term incentives. Since it is only "once" a week that he is misbehaving come up with incentives that he can earn at the end of that set period. Don't get me wrong I'm not speaking of a bribe, the incentive does not have to be a tangible prize it could be extra dessert during dinner or something of that nature, recess-at school, put extra emphasis on those things he loves. AND just the same way he earns them, take those things he loves when he acts out. Just like on Super Nanny, (if you watch) the time out/cool down (a minute for every year he is) is effective, if done consistantly. Whatever you do in the form of discipline you need to collaborate with his teacher so that everyone is on the same page, and he sees this across the board. Always be consistant! I hope these help you, good luck, it will a be fine...

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

Go talk to the teacher. She/he will be able to tell their experience and possibly have suggestions for behavior issues.

Teacher L.

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C.G.

answers from Dallas on

Know your rights when it comes to the schools. The school probably won't suggest an evaluation. If you feel the class size is too overstimulating for him, tell the teacher, counselor and principal that you feel it's an inappropriate setting for him. See what they have to say about that. Talk to your pediatrician about the daily problems with school so you're not just going by what the school says - NEVER go by just what the school says. Your son has the right to an evaluation by the school at school expense.

Also all children are guaranteed a free and appropriate public education. There is no reason why a child of that age should be getting in trouble that often. He's a 5-yeary-old boy. You might ask the teacher if he's getting in trouble about the same amount as the other boys in the class. If she says no, then it's probably a matter of too many kids in the class and/or an inexperienced teacher. If she says yes, I would begin gearing up for battle, figure out what's going on and start working toward a better classroom situation from your school.

We lasted 3 months in public Kindergarten for similar reasons. I withdrew him when the principal raised her voice at me for asking if there was a small classroom we could put him in. It's still shocking to think that we ever thought she had the best interest of our child at heart.

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L.F.

answers from Tyler on

Yes I do know what you mean my son has been doing some of the same things. Have you met with his teacher because alot of the teachers do not tolerate much and really take things to the extreme. My kid he talks alot and he gets off task sometimes and I wanted to get my son tested at one time. I am a college student and we have done studies over children wit ADD and if you can get that child to behave or sit down and he pays attention to what he wants to he does not need the medication. Most kids that have ADD they cannot pay attention at all to anything. I do feel your fustration I think as a parent it will get better for us. I also do a little game with my kid I tell him that he has had five sad notes and I don't want to have six because that is to many so try really hard not to get six and that helps a little. Also someone maybe frustrating him at school you just never know.

Have a Great Day!

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hi! I had the same problem with our youngest son when he was in Kindergarten. We chalked it up a few times to him "just being a boy", but I knew in the back of my mind that there was something else. He was also very defiant at home, and quite angry sometimes-and he could NEVER sit still no matter what. One day I picked him up from school and he was scaling the soccer net, and the teacher just gave me a look like "Thank God you are finally here!!" I got some pamphlets from the doctor's office about ADHD meds-they usually have questionnaires that you can answer and determine if your child needs to be tested. The final straw came, though, when the school nurse sent home the ADHD test, like HINT HINT, and told me I had to fill it out and send it back to the school for them to get reimbursed for the test itself-my son does have ADHD but he is in 6th grade now and is a lot better and not currently on meds. You may want to do some private research before you bring it up to your child/other family members, so you will know which way to go next. Your child may simply be bored and not know anyother way to express himself except to have outbursts of energy. ADHD children have unique minds and thinking mechanisms, and they do grow bored easily-but this may not be your child. Good luck with your child and your research.

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B.B.

answers from Dallas on

That is very normal. I have three boys. The two oldest ones comes home at once or twice a week with bad notes. My first comes home so times all week with bad notes. My middle child is in kindergarden and he has his momemts. Every child is different. I know from experience none of my three boys are alike and did things that the other one did.

Hope this helps

B.

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B.F.

answers from Dallas on

Talk to the teacher first I think is the best thing to do. I have a 6 year boy in Kind. Believe me I know exactly what you are talking about. We had our second meeting with his teacher yesterday. With my little man it was not just 1 day a week it was we were good if we were getting 1 good day a week. Boys are so much different then girls. Some boys could care less about coloring or writing so that tends them to wonder and get in trouble at times. I do believe that they will grow out of a lot of it. I also read someones response about are you just thinking about testing because of school issues or because of other things you have seen at home. My husband and I both have seen that our little man has issues with everything. Not angry just can't focus on anything. There is so much more but not going to get into, this would be even longer...LOL After speaking to the teacher we decided that we will have him evaluated by his ped and just see what he says. If he recommends us to a specialist we will go. If they tell us that it is ADD or ADHA then believe me there will be more drs appts because I want more then just one drs thoughts. I do believe that they jump the gun to quick but I also believe there are kids that have these issues. If is a very hard decision as parents to make of what to do but we know our children and we need to watch them and how they are as well. Just please don't jump the gun but look into it. My concern is I don't want my little guy falling behind. I want him to stay on track the best he can. Remind you I have met with the teacher twice with very long meetings and I do talk with her daily when I pick him up. Communication is great thing to have with the teacher. Hope some of this helps and good luck. B.

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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

R.,
My son was diagnosed with ADD when he was 4. We had him tested because his teacher said that he was disruptive all the time. The thing is, your son may be bored with what they are doing, and they may not be challenging him enough. Even though my son had ADD, if they kept him busy and challenged, he behaved very well. He did have a short temper at home as well.

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J.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hi R.,
Let me tell you that little boys are not wired to sit still for hours at a time. Kindergarten is not like it used to be and there is no longer 2 or 3 recesses to allow them to get out all of the NORMAL energy that boys have. I think that teachers, doctors, and now even some parents take every active child and diagnose them with some type of disorder. Teachers rely on these diagnosis to keep them from having to deal with kids who don't conform to the now social norm. That's not to say that ADD is not a real disorder, but I feel that it is highly over-diagnosed and many normal, active children are being diagnosed with things that they don't have. I would not have any child that young tested for ADD unless you are just having the most difficult time with him at home and he is uncontrollable. As far as the anger, I think that all kids go through bouts with expressing anger. I have seen this especially with younger children who have older siblings. I have a lot of friends who complain about the same thing with teachers sending notes home, and all of the ones who complain have little boys. One of my friends even took her son out of public school and started home schooling simply because kids are no longer allowed to be little kids once they enter the school system. Once they hit kindergarten, they are expected to be responsible little adults and that is simlply unrealistic.

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K.P.

answers from Dallas on

R.: My son is 12 now. When he was in kindergarten he started coming home with "red" notices, which meant he had been distruptive or misbehaved to a degree that he has passed "yellow". My husband and I were horrified. How was it that our angel was being a "bad kid". So he was being punished at home, with time out or restrictions. Then one day I was at school when I saw an episode where a little boy pushed my son and my son pushed back. The teacher scolded my son and immediately skipped "yellow" and flipped his card to "red". My son, knowing the trouble he would be in at home cried and cried. I, on the other hand, saw that a young and harried teacher had lost her temper and that it was not necessarily my child's fault, or if it was, the punishments received at home were not meritted by the crime. It helped me to better understand the classroom dynamics. I, now, subsitute in Kinder, and I would suggest that you wait. This is normal as they learn how to socialize with other children. Work on anger management at home. A councelor once gave my son a "stress ball" to squeeze when he became angry or upset. It gave him something else to focus on. I hope this helps. Unless you have a strong suspicion regarding ADD, I suggest to hold off. Good luck.

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A.H.

answers from Tyler on

If your son's school is anything like the public schools where we live they complain and send notes home about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. I finally told the school LISTEN stop sending me home notes about EVERY little thing, of course we wound up switching him to a public charter school which doesn't do this. You might have to have a little talk with teacher and or principal or it won't stop. They try to make it seem like your child is horrible when in all actuality they are just being a typical kid. For example my cousin's son got notes sent home for picking up a LEAF on the playground she got fired up and went off on them because she got so sick of that sort of mess. So its not your son I can almost guarantee its the school and their policies.

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B.C.

answers from Dallas on

Don't be in a hurry to diagnose. My 6 yo is in K and he had a rough first 3 months. He bit the teacher, kicked kids, all kinds of stuff. The counselor actually mentioned to me that maybe he was bi-polar. Well, turns out that he was just having a hard time adjusting. We do counseling to work on social skills and try to avoid high stress. I don't think your son has ADHD. One day a week is not really bad for kids this age. I have other friends with K boys and they are all the same. My son never gets in trouble anymore. Just try to get to the root of the problem.

Good Luck.

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P.B.

answers from Abilene on

I have 6 children and not one is like the other! I have a five yr old son and he gets into trouble all the time at school and I have been have substitute teaching there and it is VERY embarassing when the principal has to come to the class I'm in to tell me my son is in his office due to acting out in class. One time the principal went into the classroom to get him because he refused to the teacher to go to time out, and he ran around the room, getting away from the principal. Oh my gosh, that was a fun day.
So, I have checked into everything. He was born a little premature and did have some health problems right from the start. Lots of ear infections, had to have tubes, adnoids, and tonsiles out. Plus he has had to be put to sleep twice to have his teeth worked on. So I know that his health as played a big part. Also he is the youngest in the class and the smallest. The teacher has referred to him as her "immature" one. He has had to be somewhat of a "bully" ever since daycare because others would pick on him. He has had a little bit of a speech problem and other kids would not be able to understand what he says and he would have to repeat himself harder and harder to where he would just get to where he is yelling at them to understand him. Then he would be so mad, he would sometimes throw things.
He gets upset when you want to have him in time out and will yell and throw things.
We have noticed that if we pay more attention to him, give him more one on one time, he stays calm. There are times in the house when none of the other kids are home and he is all alone with us and he is the BEST kid. I feel that he just has a hard time expressing himself and just feels the need to know that he is loved.
Also, you must be the best advocate for your son there is. Never back down and always ask, check into and reask about anything envolving your son. I've realized that some schools will test your kid for problems but then they set the normal range so low that way your son won't meet the guidelines for help because they are understaffed in these areas and "try" not to let the kids quailify for help.
Hope this helps, it will pass. :)
P.

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L.J.

answers from Dallas on

Below is a web site you can check out in regards to ADD and ADHD. I wish I would have had this information 18 years ago when my son was going through a lot of this type of thing. I have a friend who has her 3 year old on these shakes and it changed him totally, for the better. My son went from failing several classes in high school to all B's on his last report card. He is totally easier to get along with and our home is much more peaceful. He mixes 1 cup of coffee with 6 ice cubes and one scoop of protein, natural remedy for ADD and ADHD. But you need to check this web site out so you get the whole picture.

http://www.oneaddplace.com/adhd-diet.php

Good Luck!

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F.C.

answers from Tyler on

My son spent most of his kindergarten career in the principal's office. I was excited on the days that I didn't get a call from the school telling me he was back in the office. His first grade year was wonderful and the second half of his second grade was just as good (his original teacher moved away). I'm not saying that the fault was with the teacher in kindergarten (she is a wonderful woman)or even in the 2nd grade - they just weren't as patient with my boisterous child as others were. (My daughter, who is older, also didn't have this boisterousness!) I did have my son checked for ADD (there really isn't a test) and the doctor said he was more hyperactive than ADD, and put him on medication for ADHD. Some kids require more stimulation to keep them interested and involved in the actual learning process. Don't be too quick to jump on the ADD bandwagon - maybe watch his intake of sugar and red-colored drinks and snacks. My son (who is now 21) has marched to the beat of a different drummer his whole life, but he did settle down at school, for the most part. Be patient and encouraging - when he has a good day, pat him on the back (don't go overboard). When he has a 'bad' day, try and point out the 'good' things he did that day and discourage the misbehavior. If the disruptive behavior is something that requires discipline, be sure that the discipline is at the right level. Also, if you are able to sit in class and observe, most teachers encourage that. Sometimes it helps to have Mom (and/or Dad) show that they want to help - both the child and the teacher.

Frances

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W.N.

answers from Dallas on

Having had my own experiences with this kind of thing, i can tell you that it's best to test for learning or development disabilities. Later problems can be reduced or avoided altogether if you find out early, they say the sooner the better for this type of thing. If it turns out there's a problem other than just a high spirited kiddo, don't panic, and don't wonder how you caused it - you didn't. But you can do lots to make things better, and the sooner you know the sooner you can begin.
I have a son who has asperger's syndrome, and a step son who has adhd.
Best of luck, and i am here if you need.
W.

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N.L.

answers from Dallas on

I have a 5yr daughter in kindergarten with the exact same situation. She has a daily folder that comes home with her everyday, and hers would have notes on it frequently regarding either talking to much or not following directions. And she is never like that anywhere else. So first I talked to the teacher about it, and she really downplayed her behavior. Saying she is really good most the time, but the teacher still continued to write those notes. So then I went to speak to her doctor about her being ADD, and he wouldn', even for a second consider that. They are VERY active at this age, and he explained that her behavior is between her and the teacher/school. That I don't even need to be concerned unless she's hurting other students physically or bringing weapons to school..stuff like that. So I had to ask the teacher not to write notes anymore unless it was an emergency. As long as his behavior isn't interfering with his learning, and doing his work, then you don't need to worry about it. My doctor said if this behavior continues for a couple years then we can check her for ADD but right now its just normal behavior. Your child is not the only one. So my suggestion is to have a one on one meeting w/the teacher first and see what his behavior really is and then talk to his doctor about it. Good luck!

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J.O.

answers from Lubbock on

If it is only once a week, he probably is not ADD. Have you thought about if his behavior is correlated to something (lack of sleep, certain food for breakfast, etc...) I would talk with him and keep working with him. Make it clear to him in no uncertain terms that there will be a consequence for getting bad notes. If it is just one day a week, it sounds like it is not too bad. Also, get teacher to define disruptive. Is he talking out, getting up and moving around, refusing to do stuff, etc...? I'm sure if you keep up with him and stick to your guns once you set consequences that he will eventually fall in line.

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T.N.

answers from Dallas on

I was in the same boat when my son was in Kindergarten. We ended up having him tested by a Pediatric Psychologist in the spring and he was diagnosed with ADHD. He is more hyperactive and impulsive than attention deficit. Not to say this is what you are looking at but I know how you feel. His teachers tried a couple of different things - they used the stamp vs. sign-in system and everyday he had sign-ins. One thing the teacher did was pick 3 of the rules that he seemed to have the most trouble with and focus only on those for signings. She also broke up the day so he had a chance to earn a stamp twice - morning and afternoon. Constant communication with the teacher is very key. Could his desk be put in the back of the room and as long as he was doing his work and not being disruptive, be allowed to stand by his desk or even if he had to walk around a little. My aon has a hard time sitting in his seat for any length of time.

I would definitely make an appointment with his doctor. Yes - boys are active and that was also my concern. Was he just being a normal 5 year old? His pediatrician does not like to diagnose ADD or ADHD under 2nd grade (at least that was his policy 6 years ago) so he referred us to the ped. psychologist for his testing. I also recommend this as opposed to his doctor just prescribing him something to "give it a try and see if it works". Medicine is not always the answer. Does he eat sugary cereal for breakfast or pop-tarts? Mine did, so I try to watch how much sugar he has in the mornings.

The anger at home could be caused by frustration from his day. It is so hard to see your little one feeling that way and having so many problems. I wish you the best of luck and your family will be in my prayers.

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G.W.

answers from Dallas on

Boys are very slow to mature (and kinder boys are the worst!). The girls are very mature at this age but boys take a little longer to calm down. Is he hurting himself and others? Is he making good grades? If he's not hurting people on a constant basis and is making good progress, I wouldn't have him tested right now. He's still very young. I've taught little kids for a while now and little boys can be a handful. However, you must make him understand that he's expected to behave at school and whenever he's away from home...don't just make light of it because he's young. Hopefully things will get better on their own.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

There could be any number of things going on, but a simple thing to try is look at what he is eating. Maybe he is eating too much sugar. Especially look at breakfast. Concentrate on protein like eggs or even yogurt or peanutbutter on toast. Even left overs from supper are ok for breakfast. Avoid products with food coloring or high fructose corn syrup. These are some things that also help ADD children. Fruit is always better than juice.

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K.L.

answers from Dallas on

As a Kindergarten teacher by day as well as a mother of two myself (My oldest is a girl and was always perfect in school. My youngest is a boy and in 2nd grade and very active) I know how you are feeling. I can tell you that if a day a week is all you might ask the teacher what he is doing specifically. You might also see if there are other contributing factors. Boys are more active and are not wired at all like girls! they like to rough-house and play guns and such - that is just the way they are wired! If your son's teacher does not understand that, he will be in trouble frequently.
Make sure that when he does have these days that there are consequences to them. Take something away that he really likes and let him know that you are in constant communication with the teacher. That helps. If you are just talking to him about improving his behavior but are not making him have some sort of consequence to the misbehavior at school, the behavior will not stop. Now, be sure that the consequence is something that is suitable to the behavior. You don't want to ground him for a month for him talking too much or something little like that.
Hope that helps!

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

Oh, so many things come to mind when reading this...I've experienced this myself.

I don't think that an observation by someone to determine if there is an ADD or ADHD case is a bad idea.

But, you may also want to check with the teacher on specifics..are there certain times a day when the behavior is bad, is it during transitions, end of the day, certain specials?

Our son was getting notes and I got a call from the principal one day as well. Unfortunately, the teacher was VERY YOUNG and couldn't really give me specifics.

We then had our son tested for what I thought was an eye-tracking issue. Turns out he needed glasses and there was an issue with his eyes lacking the strength to focus well on their own..he needed to do some exercises. When I discussed this with the YOUNG teacher, she didn't see how that could be related. In my mind, if you've been trying hard to focus all day, of course, by the end of the day you're tired and having a hard time.

Not to say that this is your issue, but perhaps looking into. I also agree with another post that perhaps your son is bored and beyond some of what's going on in class. A discussion with his teacher about the timing could also pinpoint the times when she/he could give him something more to do.

Good luck!

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M.C.

answers from Wichita Falls on

I am a PE teacher and I see 5k for 30 min. per day. This is too much. You should go to the teacher and tell her to "lay it on the line" without sugar coating and find out exactly how he is being disruptive. Then, take action at home, if it something you can reward him for having good behavior, and take it from there. Good luck.

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L.C.

answers from Dallas on

I remeber once when my noe 15 yo was in gymnastics at age 4 it was suggested to me by some 16 year old that knew nothing about kids she be tested for ADD. I said no, you should get used to being around 4 year olds.

That said I think you should see how long your sons teacher has been a kindergarten teacher. Find out how many kids get notes a day by talking to the other moms at pick up time. Sometimes 5 year olds are just active. I would guess boys even more so (I raised 4 girls, so my 5 year old step son is a mystery to me at times)). I would want specifics as to what a "disruptive" day actually is. I mean if I was you, maybe you have specifics. I would not have him tested unless YOU think something is wrong. Does he act up at home? If not, maybe she is just overwhelmed.

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

I have a son in kindergarten and comes home with a "yellow" or "orange" on a daily schedule. "green" is the best. The teacher told me that my expectation for him to get a green everyday is to much. A yellow is not to bad, orange and red are pretty bad, that means that he choice to do something wrong. I talked to his pediatrician and he said "he's a boy" don't worry, he will grow out of it. My son is pretty good at home so I am not worried about it. For boys in particular, they have problems sitting for a long period of time. I'm an adult and have the same problem!!! So I would not worry about it to much. I am more concerned with my son's learning, I have actually had to "home school" after school, meaning that I have had to help the teacher's teach what he needs to know in order to get him to a level he needs to get at, again my pedi, said not to worry about it, he will catch up by the first grade. I am very involved with both of my kids, I have a 10 year old daughter, that has her own issues. My daughter had the same kindergarten teacher also, and I told the teacher that my son is different and is nothing like his sister. I hope this helps.

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R.S.

answers from Dallas on

A few questions to consider: When you say you consider ADD testing, is that just b/c he is in trouble at school or b/c you have seen things at home as well that concern you. If it is only b/c of school trouble, don't do it. If he had ADD you would be having trouble with him at home for sure. Boys in kindergarten are learning new rules, even if he was in preschool. Kinder is WAY more serious than it used to be and the expectations are alot higher. That is why so many parents of boys are not starting them until they are 6 or close to it. Is he a younger kindergartener? I really wouldn't be concerned regardless. My dd was in trouble most of her kinder year and by 1st grade had matured more, leared the rules, and decided it was worth it to follow them. She had NO behavior problems at school after kinder when she was in trouble most days of the week.

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B.P.

answers from Dallas on

my youngest gd had a behavior that could of made her sit in the principal office everyday in K. She had a very big angry issue.. In fact at the tender age of 18 months old the doctor told us she was carring angry. That shocked me for how could a 18 month old be angry? and at what.
The dr informed us a child could hear and feel angry in the mother womb if alot of fighing and things are going on that is stressing the mother. When he said that he hit the nail straigh on.
It took alot of work with the granddaughter, alot of love, and extra attention. Alot of disciple..
Now at the age of almost 8, she is now coming home showing she did not get her self in trouble.

One of the ways I worked with her was on a ticket program where she received 10 tickets, whoever has the most tickets since she has a sister, wins a prize.. when she was losing all the time, I went to another method, which was if she could keep her 10 she would win a dodllar,
at least now she has a goal to work on, and once in a while she receives her dollar too.
I give out tickets as well as take away tickets and I have several things on my list on how I give out and take away.
this seems to work and they enjoy doing the ticket program.

We discover that they would not test until she are in 2nd grade. ths could of been done if my daughter would of ask in 1st grade but it has to be asked early in the yr. at the end of the year they don't want to do the testing. so if he continues this behavior talk with the teachers and see if they can test him in the behinning of the school yr.

best wishes on working with her son...

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J.E.

answers from Dallas on

Hey, R.. I don't know much about this type of thing (as my kids are just two)... but my nephew sounds similar to your son. He is a great little boy but is high energy. When he was about 5, my sister got him involved in karate classes. I didn't "get it" at first, but the discipline and self-control that a good karate studio teaches can really help a little boy to 1)expell some energy, and 2)work on controlling his activity. It's just an idea. Whatever you try, good luck and God bless! :)

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A.P.

answers from Dallas on

I have a kindergarten as well.He does not act up a lot at school but he does not do his work. The teacher says he sits and looks into outer space. We have the same anger issues at home. My daughter is ADHD and they are not a like at all.My experience with ADD and ADHD kids, they are in trouble every day. So I think it is just little boys. And I hope that he will change in the Summer time. I know he really wants to just stay home and play. He could care less about school.
A.

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E.R.

answers from Lubbock on

I have the same problem with my 6 year old. We have been fighting with the school all year about it. A large part of it is that my son is bored and then makes up his own ideas of fun. These are not usually what the teacher would like him to do. He has also had problems with anger at home and school in the past. What I have been doing at home is very neutrally (with no emotion on my part)talking to him. Making sure he understands what the issue is and then letting him tell his side, even if it does not matter or effect his punishment. He feels better at being able to tell his side. Then I make him go through an apology process. This is usually with his older sister. He has to apologize (not say I am sorry) for ______ (what ever the action was) and then acknowledge that what he did hurt her physically or emotionally, and then commit to not doing that specific action again. It has worked so far, he does not want to break his promise to her and he actually sees how and why he hurt her. It takes a while, but it also makes him have to analyze what he did and why. The teachers at school will not try this but it has been successful at home. I will attach a link that my mom (an elementary school teacher) found for me. It has helped me with the problems at school. It will get better... :)
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10965522/site/newsweek/page/4...

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