Behavior and Nutrition

I agree with another mom that not getting enough sleep can be an issue. I have twin boys with completely different personalities and taste in food. One day or longer one will be very picky then once we are back to "normal" the other one decides he only want cheese and strawberries. I think this happens because they are tired or teething. Because they go a long time with eating well until we have a change in schedule or one is getting a tooth. Is he a good sleeper? taking good naps?

Could he be teething?
My kids, would reject feedings when they were teething.

A 1 year old... needs to drink milk as you know.
Perhaps ask your Pediatrician.

When he flails himself down in a tantrum... maybe he is trying to convey something else? But at this age its not like they are verbally articulate yet, and their emotions are not even fully developed yet. AND also, what they have in their heads, is not what they necessarily can do, yet. Thus a child gets frustrated.

Also when he flails himself on the ground and gets mad if you "help" him... then just back off. Let him deflate on his own. Kids, WILL deflate on their own... it does not always require "us" to "stop" it. Often times too...a child just needs to get their yah-yah's out... their stress release etc. Just like an adult. At certain times of the day... when my kids were younger, they did that too. Kids go through that. I can almost predict it like clock-work in my kids. So at certain instances, I LET them get it out... because I know it is just their need to spout it out. Then as they get more articulate...TEACH him about "feelings" and the names for it. ie: mad, happy, sad, etc., so that he can then start to TELL you how he is feeling. Sometimes they just need a hug too. Imagine, if you were PMS'ing and stressed... and no one let you express it... you get pent up, right? Frustrated? So, gradually teach him how to express himself... as he gets older, he will understand it more.
When my son was 2... he'd actually tell me "Go away, I want to be by myself..." or, "Me mad... " and I was so proud of him.... because HE knew what HE needed... and I respected that and it taught him how to "navigate" through his feelings.

Start teaching him the words for his emotions... especially for boys, they need to know they can say how they feel. And then do that with him too.

Is he talking yet? Perhaps, teach him sign language as well... so he can convey things to you. Teach him FUNCTIONAL words.... like: hungry, tired, happy, sad, milk, eat, owie/hurt, etc. Functional words are the words that will covey an 'action" in order to get the help they need. Then teach him nouns, so he can say "objects" that he wants.

And maybe he is over-tired? Have you noticed if he does this at certain times? Like when he is tired or over-stimulated, or frustrated or even hungry?

A great book series is: "Your 1 Year Old", which is a book series on each age-set of a child... although written years ago, it is still very pertinent and describes what a child is going through at each age juncture. Its a quick easy read.
Also: "What To Expect: The Toddler Years" is also great.
You can get them both at www.amazon.com

Drinking juice... is not needed. And if anything, dilute it 50-50 with water. Too much sugar in it anyway. My kids didn't drink juice until after 2 years old.

But, I know you said his intake is not optimal. So I would really ask your Pediatrician. Sometimes... with kids who are picky or underweight... "Pediasure" is used. It is a "meal" drink for toddlers...fortified with vitamins.

All the best,
Susan

Have you talked to your pediatrician about this? He might have some helpful hints or things to try... like maybe Pediasure? It has a ton of nutrients in it. I'd give your doc a call and see if he recommends introducing Pediasure. Best wishes!

Assuming he doesn't have allergies, two words: chocolate milk. My son was breastfed but didn't want to switch over to cow's milk. We bought Nesquik and used half the amount recommended of the chocolate powder. He took to it right away. After a week, we cut that back gradually, to the point that he now takes about a 1/2 teaspoon in a 6-oz cup. (The recommended ratio is 2 Tablespoons for an 8-oz cup, which is so chocolaty it's gross.)

At right around a year, our son did best with handheld foods that he didn't have to stop for--string cheese, apple slices, veggie sticks, and the occasional wheat cracker or peanut butter & jam sandwich cut into triangles. By 15 months, he was interested in meals as a social activity and wanted to sit with us and eat "real" food (though we're still struggling with some veggies and with beef - he eats chicken no problem). Good luck!

Will he eat any fruit or veggies. Bite size so he can do it on his own? My son loves beans_ kidney bean, white northern beans. If you cook them with a peeled potato that will take the gas out of the beans.

Just ignore the tantrums.They will settle down.
My son went through a peroid of time that he would only drink water from a sippy as well. Then one day he drank his milk out of it. But he was drinking from the bottle. Try different sippys each kids likes a different kind.

Have you tried Gatorade? See if he likes that, 50/50 with water. My son does not drink that much juice either and that is good, because the juice can cause cavities.

Different foods? Avocados, bluberries, grapes cut in half, melons all the fruit has water and will help with hydration.

Will he eat mac n cheese? Try putting some baby spinach in the water when boiling the noodles and leave them there when you mix the milk and cheese.

You can't force someone to eat or drink, and maybe this is his way to exert some control. There are ways to make eating and drinking more accessible and/or attractive to him, though.

He will eat when he is hungry, so why not leave some snacks (fruit, crackers, something non-perishable that you know he will eat) out and within his reach for when he is ready to nibble. My daughter is a "grazer" and this works well for her. I'll offer her other things, of course, but this is one way to get some food in her when she is really feeling the "NO."
Same with water, keep it out and within reach. Maybe a different temperature? Warm it up a bit or put some ice cubes in it. Try giving it to him in a different kind of cup - straw cup, a small child's cup, a "grown-up" cup with a straw, etc. Make sure he is getting some fruit, which has some water in it.
Maybe he would like fresh fruit smoothies? You can also freeze them into popsicles. This would also serve the purpose of getting a good bunch of nutrients in him - you could add some leafy greens and a little flax seed oil.

As far as the tantrums, sometimes it will be worse than others... he'll move on to a new "phase" soon. He wants to be independent, so rather than trying to help him do something, see how you can support him while he does it himself. Of course sometimes there are things he just won't be able to do himself and experiencing frustration is part of his learning process.

I have a daughter who is very strong-willed, so I understand the frustration and the struggles. I hope that you find a solution that works for you.

My 11 month old has been doing this, or intending to do this, for several weeks now. I have not been able to come up with any reason other than likely teething pain. My pediatrician said to give him as much time as he needed but to just keep trying because he obviously needs to eat. I was really worried when he first began refusing food and milk and I would sneak bottles by him at night to make up for what he wouldn't drink during the day. I found that because he was tired, and because when he awakes at night he;s very calm and on the verge of sleep, that he accepts a bottle. As for food during the day I just had to keep trying. It has been difficult! Instead of just having meal time like we used to, now I have to make it really fun--give him a small toy to play with, sing songs to him, play peek-a-boo, and when he becomes more engaged with that, he forgets and opens his mouth long enough for me to feed him. Our three meals a day take at least 45 minutes, and snack time is really hit or miss. It has also helped in most recent weeks that I let him be very independent and feed himself which is most effective when there are others at the table eating and having conversation. He will explore the food on his own and sooner or later start to eat. Good luck, I know it's frustrating but just keep trying! Best advice is to make it FUN, make him smile and laugh and forget that he's in his highchair :)

I've seen that some of the moms are suggesting powdered chocolate milk options and I see where they are coming from yet, there are safer and more nutritious options. Have you heard of Shaklee? Shaklee is the #1 natural nutrition company in the U.S. and has been around for over 50yrs. They have a reputation for safe, pure, and effective products. They have a meal replacement shake for children that is full of vitamins, protein, and fiber (vanilla or chocolate), but doesn't contain any artificial sweeteners, colors, flavorings, or preservatives. There's so many options for the shakes too. You can make them thick like a milkshake or add fruit, yogurt, PB, etc. For hydration, Shaklee offers a mix called Performance that would be comparable to Gatorade or Pedialyte, but tastes much better and has nothing artificial in it. Shaklee = safe, which is so important for our children. Adding a powdered or liquid chilren's vitamin to the meal shakes or Performance is a great idea too. There is so much evidence now on the relation between behavior and diet & sleep. You can check out these products and more at www.greennutrition.info and register to win $200 of free products at www.freegreenproducts.info. I'm here for any questions too. Good luck!

I would use my instinctz to see if I thought it was a power play or if there is a reason he doesn't want to eat or drink. Could he have teething pain or something that is causing him pain when he eats? A sore throat? See if he would eat something like a popsicle or some ice cream. (Ummm - at that age I receommend feeding him foods like that in the bathtub or with a good drop cloth.) Since he is already small for his age, i wold not let it go too long without asking his doctor about it. The tantrums you describe sound like more than a ploy for pwer. They sound like he is in some kind of terrible pain.

I don't have any great advice, but I can tell you that my son went through a stage (around 9 or 10 mo) where he would start crying while I was feeding him. I never really figured it out, but it did pretty much just go away. (I would stop feeding him and hold him on my lap; if he wanted, I fed him while he was in my lap.) I would definitely talk to your pediatrician, but my instinct is not to try to force or even cajole him. It seems like that could lead to more problems -- let him decide when he wants to eat and drink. One possible idea -- do you eat what you want him to eat? My kids always want what I'm having; since they're under 1 (twins) I mostly avoid the stuff they can't have yet, and eat what I want them to have. I also take drinks from their sippy cups to get them interested when they don't seem to be drinking on their own. Good luck!!!

He might be getting some teeth and his mouth hurts. His eating strike is probably a result of something other than defiance. just hang in there and do your best. in a couple of days he will probably sprout some molars and than he will be back to himself again.

Food for Children… one of my FAV topics!

Kids go through phases with their food, as the parent it is IMPERATIVE that you get proper nutrition into them. I know that when I start the day off right with the kids, the rest of the day falls into place.

THIS BREAKFAST IS A NON NEGOTIABLE:
Nutrition shake (no not a smoothie) ALL my clients only use this: http://liveitdontdiet.isagenix.com/us/en/isaleanshake_new... (moms, dads and kids!)
Sorry there is nothing better first thing in the AM.
When we started, we made our shakes thick like ice-cream they LOVED it.

Then get creative. Offer different HEALTHY options - if it comes in a bag or a box, "healthy" is questionable.

LUNCH/DINNER:
- Veggie lasagna
- Eggs: Omelets stuffed with veggies and cheese
- Whole grain rice with veggies (my kids LOVE a mixture of tomatoes, green onions, olive oil and Italian seasoning warmed in the over and sprinkled over rice)
- Pasta – get creative – ANYTHING goes on pasta
- French toast sticks
- Whole wheat pancakes with fresh fruit
- Stirfry
- Soups – minestrone, cream of broccoli, tortilla, pumpkin the choices are endless!
- Oh so sea shells: Buy large sea shell pasta and have her help you stuff them with her fav foods, carrots, broccoli mushrooms, cheese, asparagus, etc
- Tortellini
- Pasta salad
- fajitas
- quesadillas
- enchiladas
- wraps – my kids put EVERYTHING in a tortilla wrap – even cold spaghetti!
- grilled cheese with veggie IN or on the side

AND SO MUCH MORE!

Take your time with food. Leave good choices out on the table for him to pickup when he is ready. Offer things through out the day. Kids are on their own schedule, let him find the food schedule that works for him.

DO NOT FEED YOUR CHILD OFF THE SHELVES POWER DRINKS like one mama suggested...the preservatives in those numb the brain. If you want to offer something that is good for him, freeze some fruit put it in a clear water bottle (or sippy cup) with some water. Kids LOVE watching the fruit and the taste is FABULOUS and the sugar content is very low. When you give your child fruit juice the sugar is much like giving them a soda. Yes it is a naturally occurring sugar but think about it...there is no fibre from the fruit to help slow down the process in the body, so pure sugar right to the brain, just like soda.

Audrey, breathe, be patient and go with the flow. Your son will eat when he is hungry. Provide him with great healthy options and he will come around. Don't force it, enjoy the process. Look it at a way to bond better with your son, not as a struggle.

A couple of other FAV products of my families:
http://liveitdontdiet.isagenix.com/us/en/isaleanbars.dhtml
http://liveitdontdiet.isagenix.com/us/en/wantmoreenergy.d...
http://liveitdontdiet.isagenix.com/us/en/isafruits.dhtml

Let me know if I can help.

B.
Family Success Coach

The same thing happened to me when my son was about the same age as yours. He was on the thin side so I felt he couldn't afford not to eat or drink his milk. He flat out refused to drink milk for over a week, he doesn't like juices, and would only drink a little bit of water. My pediatrician recommended adding Nesquick or Ovaltine to his bottle, which we did (in lower concentrations than what is listed in the directions). It worked like a charm.

The food thing resolved itself on its own. I think he was teething at the time and chewing actually hurt (which led me to wonder if the bottle nipple in his mouth hurt as well). I pureed his meals for a few days and he would actually eat them that way. When the crisis passed, he went back to eating normally.