Behavior - Dallas,TX

Updated on January 28, 2013
P.K. asks from Dallas, TX
12 answers

Hi Moms ...........i have a 2 1/2 year old boy.....he is well behaved sometimes n then angry sometimes i wanted to know about the terrible 2s and when does it end. It would be very helpful if i knew what is normal behavior at this age . Thanks........................

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

Each kid is a little different, but the Moms who said that 3 is worse are completely right. Ugh.

Here's what the American Academy of Pediatrics says about behavior at this age.
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddle...

We found that asking them what they need goes a LONG way in helping tame the beast when it emerges.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

He's normal.
No it does not end at 2 years old.
It can go on and on... even until adult hood, IF a child is not guided or taught on how to express themselves and communicate and how to "cope" with emotions and how they feel and during stresses or disappointments.

But yes, at this age, they can be moody and fussy.
At 3 years old too.
And so forth.

Just teach him the "names" for feelings ie: mad,sad,happy,frustrated,irritated,hungry,tired, angry, etc. That way, he can pinpoint how he is feeling and to articulate it....then tell you. That it is okay to tell you how he feels.

Then just teach him "how" to cope. If he is mad, its okay... but if he is hitting then redirect him to something better. Encouraging. Or to hit a pillow. That hitting people is not allowed etc.
They are just learning at this age. They will make mistakes. They will test limits. They will seek independence and protest at times. All developmental based and normal. But give him the "tools" to manage.... age appropriately. Meaning, don't expect him to react/handle something like how a 5 year old would. There is also the 'maturity' of the child too... so just guide him.

Usually a kid gets mad because they are frustrated. Or, they want to do something they have in their heads, but can't actually do yet. Or, they are told "no", or they want attention or need something even comforting.

I have found a good way to deflate an angry child, is to hug them, and then try and make them laugh! Distracting them.

All the best,
Susan

2 moms found this helpful
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D.A.

answers from Dallas on

Absolutely normal behavior for a 2 yr old. I have a 3 1/2 yr old and a 2 yr old. In my opinion, 3's are far more difficult than 2s. I posted an earlier post about my "yelling" so I am in deep with the terrible 2s and 3s.

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J.F.

answers from Spartanburg on

It is normal for kids that age to be like that, they like to explore during the first few years of their lifetime.

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S.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

My oldest is 5 and still think he is in the terrible 2's... lol My daughter is 2 and she is way in deep, and my 18 month old son is not far behind. It's all about learning and the only way they know how is to challenge, everything. I am reading 1-2-3 magic right now, and it may just SAVE my sanity. Good luck.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

Yep its normal and the 3s are worse than the 2s. Whoever came up with the " terrible 2s" phrase hadn't had a 3 yr old yet.

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Q.G.

answers from Portland on

The first question I would ask the parents is... what kind of behavior is being modeled for him. Does he witness anger? Children will learn what they live...
If he is just expressing normal toddler behavior... or is he mimicking the adults in his life?

A definition of anger is energy that wants to change something. What change is he needing?

Diet? Is he being given sugar and HFCS?

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D.M.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

I have 3. First would slam his head into walls or the floor, scream, bite scratch. Second liked destroying property, third just pouts but she's a girl....lol. Honestly, in hind site, I said more than necessary, especially with first one. Try to relax a little. If they are hurting themselves or other, what's the harm. Instead of saying, u can hit your plastic bat on the window, I'd redirect him to the couch pillow, which was more fun and had more thumping potential. I learned. So many times they act out bc they cannot communicate. So many times we label something as naughty when its just a child discovering, learning.....give them as much freedom as possible, kid proof the house, and let them be.....it's good for them. When they do have their tantrums, let them get through it, stay calm, and be ready to hug and kiss and love on them after so they know i
They are loved no matter what.

M.H.

answers from Raleigh on

Ahhh yes the terrible twos...I hate to tell you, but the 3s aren't much better. (In fact most of my friends have said they thought it couldn't get any worse then ta-da!) That is just a boy being a boy I guess! Good luck!

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K.N.

answers from Houston on

Yes it's normal, just let him know that you understand that he is angry and let him have it out in a safe environment. After it passes then sit down with him and talk about it. The more you try to understand where the anger is coming from he will see that you care. But don't you lose it. Keep it simple.

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A.M.

answers from Killeen on

his favorite word will be no. thats normal.

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R.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hi there,

I read your post and just wanted to comment that you are awesome for reaching out to better understand your son's behavior and what to expect!! Although I am not a behavior specialist, I DO have an almost-2-yr-old boy myself and I'm also a pediatric occupational therapist so I kind of see your question from both perspectives. What I always try to tell myself when my son is acting "challenging" let's say, is that it IS normal and its actually for good reason. He is trying to figure out who he is and his position in the pack so-to-speak. It has occurred to him for the first time that he has his own will and ideas and knows how to express them! The trick is to keep in mind this bigger question he is really asking you through his challenging behavior...when he says "NO!" to something he normally eats or when he hits the dog and refuses to stop, what he is really saying to you is "Who is really the boss? What can I get away with? What will happen if...." It is like a big cause and effect experiment in a way.

So what do you do? As hard as it can be, extinguishing unwanted behaviors is best done with as little emotion as possible. He will model his emotional meter after yours. If you yell and give him a big reaction, that can be kind of exciting to him. If, on the other hand, you calmly say "We don't hit our doggie" and physically redirect him, or if you say "Oh, mommy doesn't understand you when you yell" then he is learning that acting that way doesn't really accomplish much (negative or positive). Then if he changes his behavior to something you want to encourage, like he picks up his toy instead of continuing to hit the dog, THAT'S when he gets a big positive reaction - hugs and kisses and praise. Is this making sense?

If you want to talk more about it please feel free to contact me! My email address is ____@____.com luck! Hope I've helped a little!

R.
Occupational Therapist
www.DynamicTherapy.net