Bedwetting and Anger

Updated on September 29, 2006
J.P. asks from Eugene, OR
12 answers

My soon to be six year old girl has a problem controling her anger and has been wetting the bed for about a year now. I don't know how long ago it happend or how long it went on, but I found out three months ago that my exneighbor had touched her and stuck his tounge in her mouth. She says that nothing else has happend to her but I just don't know. I need to know if there is a place that I can take her to get some councelling that takes the Oregon Health Plan.

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answers from Omaha on

My concern is that he might have told her something that would cause her to fear. The act in itself will cause her to fear. It might have been an accident to tell you anything. I would report him to the police and press charges it is not to late. I would also have her see a child psych, this will help her to get through that block in her mind. Be patient and work with her. If something more went on than what she has told you it will come out. If so, when she feels uncomfortable or scared she might do this, she may have done this around him and it caused him not to touch her. She may just feel that scared anywhere. She has to cope with her fear and GET IT OUT!!!!

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answers from Portland on

I agree with almost everyone that the first thing you need to do, as well as get her in counseling, is report your neighbor to the police. Besides the fact that he's probably doing this (and already done this) to other children, you have to show her daughter that his actions are not acceptable and will not be tolerated. By reporting him, and following through, you're validating her feelings and demonstrating how to be strong and capable. Show her that you won't let anyone get away with what they did to her. I think that will help begin the process of healing.

I don't know how many places take OHP, but there's already some good advice about that below. I do know that there are free counseling centers for children that have been abused. Consider getting some counseling yourself, too, so you can deal with your own feelings about the situation and learn how to help your daughter deal with hers.

Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Eugene on


I'm sorry this happened to your little girl. Have you called the authorities? If not, you need to! Your neighbor is a preditor and will most likely hurt someone else's child if not stopped.

I too am in Eugene and work for an organization that helps young people work through these types of traumas. But first I would call and make a police report. They will most likely refer you to a professional in the community that your daughter can see.

It sounds as though you are probably below the federal income guideline and might qualify for substantial mental health services. Try calling Oregon Community Programs or Oregon Social Learning Center and speak with Kathleen Nutt - if she can't help you, she can re-direct you.

You are smart to find help now, it's not too late and it's certainly imperative that you do find some help for your daughter. I'm so sorry that she had to experience that. Best of luck!

The number for OCP and OSLC is ###-###-####

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answers from Casper on

My best advise to you is to call a church that has a counseling center. They can help you find someone that can help your daughter. If that is no help try at school. Each school district must supply a counselor that can help kids work through issues. I do know that 6 year olds don't just start back up wetting the bed for no reason. I hope she is doing better soon!




answers from Portland on

My daughter was molested by her father when she was four. You should go see the CARES program up at Emanuel in N Portland. They can point you in the right direction and give a list of all sorts of counselors in your area.



answers from Portland on

Hi J.,

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter. I don't know what kind of coverage you have, but I believe on the OHP you can go to Lifeworks Northwest in Beaverton (they probably have offices in other areas too). From what I understand, few places take the OHP with regards to counseling aside from the ones they set aside. I too have the OHP and on your medical card it should give you mental health coverage information, and a number to call. Maybe you could give that a try? Let me know if you need anything else.




answers from Eugene on

Looking Glass is an amazing place. Their # is ####-###-####. We do foster care and deal with this often. They are very nice people and deal awesome with little kids. They also have a group session where it teaches kids how to be safe and its all done in a playing atmosphere. Please let me know if you need anymore phone #'s ..... I've gots lots .



answers from Eugene on

The couselors at the relief nursery take OHP. I took my daughter there when she was having troubles with extreme shyness. They are really good with kids.



answers from Seattle on

Hi J., what disability do you have? I am so sorry about what happened to your daughter. Has she had any counseling or are you looking to see if there is a good therapist that can work with her on this traumatic event that took place in her life?

I live in Burien WA I work from home, would you like me to provide you with some information about working from home? that would provide more time to devote to your daughter and you do not have to travel around or sell anything. It could be an opportunity to really be there for your daughter. If you are interested in learning more just send me an email at [email protected]

I am not soliciting anything I am just trying to help, I have two daughters age 2 1/2 and 8 months old and both my husband and I are out of jobs, we are trying to get us to Chicago in the next few months for work for my husband but I started working at home to make some extra money until we can get moving....I can tell you more about things too should you be interested in talking with me.

hope this helps out a bit.


S. E.
Burien, WA



answers from Salt Lake City on

the bedwetting I'd suggest taking her to bed in the middle of her sleeping amount. That should help promote her to not wet on a physical sense. As for the emotional side I think the other people have given alot of good advice on contacting someone for your daughter to talk to.

With the anger, I've noticed that with my 5 year old the more I reassure her that anger is a normal mood that you can experience, just like being happy or sad, and that its ok to be angry at times. Becuase it is ok. It's a normal emotion. What I might suggest is for you to teach her "healthy" ways to express her anger. Such as to talk about whats making her angry instead of acting out on it. Or maybe have her go do something physical if she's mad and needs a physical side to get it out. Maybe put a good spin on it. Tell her if she's angry doing physical stuff (stuff with your body) is a good way to get the emotions out. If she cleans the floor, then she'll get 3 good things out of it. 1. she gets the physical actions out and helps to release the tension that way. 2. she feels good about having something positive accomplished (make sure you praise her TONS!) and 3. if you can afford maybe pay her a small amount, like a quarter, each time she does something to help. This will give her a reward for not only helping to clean, but will be a reward for her dealing with her anger in a positive way. It could also be used as a experience to teach her about working to earn money.



answers from Spokane on

hi i have a 9 year old who had some thing simaler happen to her she is just now stopping the peeing u do need to tern him in and also to find a counceller u can talk to ur doc. and they can give u a list of places just be there for her when she whants to talk but dont ask her any ?? hope things go well for u



answers from Eugene on

First of all go to the police. The person that did this needs to be prosicuted. Then through that you can probably get free counceling for her. The bed wetting will most likely clear up after that. Not to mention the anger. I am so sorry that this happened to your child. It may be difficult, but action ust be taken.

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