My daughter is 12 and still wetting the bed every week and sometimes several times a week. We have tried several things, limiting her liquids at night, waking her up in the middle of the night for her to go, we tried the very expensive pad with the alarm (which did work for a while, until she stopped using it because it was "too uncomfortable"), I have also purchased the potty pager for teens. The problem is she will not use it, she may start out the night when I put her to bed with it put then she moves it. It seems to me that her problem is really not bothering her that much anymore. I do wash her sheets but now she has to make her bed by herself. I have recently told her she cannot have any sleep overs until she stops, I just feel like she is not even trying or concerned about it. Not sure what to do, I dont like punishing her because of this problem but I need to see that she is concerned and wants to do something about it. Please help.
It could be a medical condition. Have you taken her to the doctor? There is a nose spray some kids can take to help them with that problem.
Good luck.
M.
Have you taken her to a doctor or counselor to find out why she seems to have no interest in correcting this problem? You say you wash the sheets but she makes her bed. why cant's she wash the sheets, she's the one who wet them. Does her older brother taunt her? all brothers do, but does he go a little overboard? Do they make Overnighters large enough for her? If so, as the mother and female head of the household, I'ed insist that she wear them whether she wants to or not. There are some things in life that you have to do whether you want to or not, and this seems to be one of them.
Hi K.-
I recently took my son to a specialist for completely different reasons, but as part of the evaluation we discussed bedwetting. My son is only 6, so I was not concerned but the doctor did say that there is a prescription nasal spray that helps. She told me that the problem is not with the bladder it is with the kidneys. Basically at night your body tells your kidneys to start reabsorbing water so that less goes to the bladder overnight. In children, this process hasn't developed yet so their bladders cannot hold all of the water that is sent by the kidneys. The nasal spray acts as that naturally occuring hormone and tells the kidneys to reabsorb the water so that the kids can get through the night. Just something you might want to ask your pediatrician about. I haven't filled the prescription yet because my son is actually on a streak of staying dry right now but here's what the prescription says (as best I can read it) DDAVP nasal spray 0.01%.
Good Luck,
K.
I really can't imagine that her problem "is not bothering her that much." Probably what's happened is she's finally realized that she's stuck in a bad situation and has accepted there isn't anything she can do. I really don't think that she's completely avoiding help (when you're asleep you do things like turn off alarms without realizing it!)
An issue she might be dealing with is a sensory problem. She says sleeping on the pad is uncomfortable, it may be VERY uncomfortable, think of "the princess and the pea" story. And on the flip side she may have trouble recognizing the urge to go to the bathroom, another sensory issue. If I don't pee regularly during the day I feel I need to when it's too late- at 29 I still wet my pants! She may be the same way and at night when her body isn't absorbing the water and she doesn't feel the need to go to the bathroom, she wets the bed. I used to do this when I was in the hospital. I called the nurse for help to go to the bathroom but by the time they got there and I stood up, I peed all over the floor!
I think she's plenty old enough to wash her own sheets and make her own bed, but don't tell her it's punishment. Just tell her that she's old enough. after all, at 12 many girls are already dating! Also, look into the "under Jams." I think they have some in her size, they are made especially for bed wetters and they are in the pullup section.
Try to have compassion on her!
I had that problem too and my parents (especially my dad) use to get really mad about it and stressing me out which did not help. When I was her age, I started sleeping on a towel and washing my clothes before anyone got up and pretended I had stopped bedwetting. My parents stopped bothering me about it and within a year, I had stop bedwetting. I think you should let it go because the person it affects the most is her not you. I felt a lot shame and humiliation being that age and still having that problem that I hated any mention of it. I really doubt that she is not concerned about it and needs reminding. I know you are trying to help and if you have already taken her to a pediatrician and she does not have any physical medical conditions, leave her alone.
My daughter wet the bed until she turned thirteen. She just stopped with no help from me. Maybe a part of her brain kicked in and started working - other parts seemed to quit at the same time. My mom also wet the bed until her early teens.
My son had that problem, just at night. It was embarrassing for him, especially with a twin brother and friends. Tried many things but finally backed off did not make a big deal about it, He eventually would get up earlier and changed the sheets himself. I did keep a mattress protecter. There is one that has the waterproof lining between two layers so that it is not a crunchy plastic. He is bipolar/asberger. They say that the bedwetting has to do with sleep irregular sleep pattern. I can't quite remember all the details, but that the person falls into such a deep sleep that they just don't wake up to their body demands. He did "outgrow it" around 12, though for him working through some of his needs & medicine (not for the bedwetting) I believe helped most. He has no accidents now. Good luck and hang in there.
My son has had the same problem, the same medicine that is available in a nasal spray is also available as a pill taken before going to bed. I usually don't like to do meds, but this was a solution for sleepovers, campouts etc. He would only take it during those times, not every night. I know what you going thru, it us soooo frustrating. Sometimes I just wanted to scream. But trust me, they don't like it either. Everything I have read says that the vast majority will outgrow it. It has been linked to a hormone problem that affects the kidneys. I personally think it is a sleep disorder. My son is a very heavy sleeper. I mean, think about it, if I'm sleeping and I need to go, I wake up. There must be some sort of disconnect where the brain is not able to wake up when the bladder is full. It's sad that with all our advancements, we can't seem to figure out how to really fix the bedwetting problem. The medicine is just a bandaid approach, but it can be a big help.
Hi K.,
One more thought in case it might help; there are a variety of night-time alarms, and I recently found that they truly are not all created equal. Six months ago we bought a wireless bedwetting alarm with "electronic underpants" as we called them, that have a microchip that detects the first sign of wetness in them. You put the pants on the kid, plug in the microchip away from the bed, and put the alarm device away from the bed, and the first drop of pee makes the alarm go off. It worked amazingly well. Our daughter caught on after the first night and stayed dry for months. But, we got to comfortable and thought the problem was fixed and lost a piece of the alarm set, so when she started again, we bought another alarm that was also wireless. This one, though, involved using a sanitary pad to place the alarm, and it was totally useless for my daughter, who complained it only went off when she was already in full-stream and was not about to get out of bed. This was true whether we put it deep inside a maxi pad or just attached it to the surface of her underpants. So, we have now found another alarm that we think is identical to the first one (so we are now at about $400 spent on three alarms!) and we hope that the third time is the charm. So I wanted you to know that apparently some alarms work, some don't, and it matters which one you pick. I do think tht the alarm probably addresses the mind/body disconnect some of the other respondents have talked about -- I think it trains the mind to reconnect to the body's signals, but only if it can catch the very first physical sign that the bladder is about to empty.
Best wishes!
M.
K. -
I had this problem until I was 16, and even a few times after I turned 18 and was married. My parents used to stress me out about it all the time. They cut me off of liquids at 6pm every night and I would still wet the bed. They put me on meds, and I would wake up in an ever bigger puddle than the night before. They would wake me up at night and I would still wet the bed. My parents would tell me that if I didn't stop they were going to take my bed away, since my bed wetting was making the house smell bad. One night I even had to stay at a sitter's house at the age of 10 and was made to sleep in a trash bag because the sitter didn't want me wetting on her stuff. After I turned about 14 I acted like I didn't care anymore. I guess I just figured that it didn't matter how hard I tried, I was always going to wet the bed. I never wanted anyone to know that I wet the bed. You have to understand, she's acting like it doesn't bother her so it won't matter to you anymore. This is an embarrassing problem to have! Do you know what it's like not to be able to sleep over at a friend's house because you are terrified you will wet on their bed? Do you know what it's like to not to be able to have company over because you don't want them to know what is going on? Do you know what it's like to lay in bed at night and wish you didn't have to sleep so you wouldn't wet the bed? Having the last thing on your mind is asking God, "Please let me wake up dry tomorrow." Have you thought to ask her anything about how she REALLY feels? I was extremely lucky, and had a best friend that didn't care about my problem! She actually talked to her mother about and her mother went out and bought me a twin size bed to have at her house. She bought the plastic mattress cover and when I would wake up in the morning, I knew how to strip the bed and start the washer. I was 15 at that time! Start supporting her more and see what happens. Let her keep changing and washing her sheets. Let her know it's not a punishment, she just can't sleep on dirty sheets. Just like she doesn't wear dirty clothes. Let this run it's course and let her know you love her.
I don't think it is wise to "punish" her for bedwetting. This is not going to solve the issue. I would continue having her change her own sheets, even wash them, when she has an accident. I think you are putting too much pressure on her and that is not going to help her. Best wishes!
Hi K.,
Have you taken her to the doctor for an x-ray yet? She may have an internal problem. I did when I was little. I had to have surgery (called a bi-lateral uretur implant (sp?). Once I had the procedure, I was completely cured. It's were one of the uretur tubes wasn't connected properly. It's worth a shot if you haven't had it checked yet. Good luck, and be patient. Trust me, as I know from experience, don't make her feel bad with this. It can ruin her self-esteem, and give her a major complex.
Hi K.!
I am SOOO passionate about this topic, and have commented in numerous blogs and web sites. I'm 43YO and have three daughters. Both me and my brother wet the bed, both of parents wet the bed, my current husband wet the bed, two of my three daughters wet the bed. My oldest wet the bed until her teenaged years. Her Dad (my ex) used to shame her in various ways, he'd kinda use the blame game as if she wet the bed on purpose!
Personally I know that the kids truly cannot help it; but they need to take responsibility and deal with the issue such as taking care of the bedding, making effort to stop drinking after an agreed upon time of night, and so on. These kids feel bad enough -- they miss out on sleepovers, feeling like something is wrong with them, not to mention the stigma of bedwetting that comes even from their loved one's (Mom?!). Everyone outgrows bedwetting. For us, I just bought the overnight pants (Walgreens generic was best for us) and we dealt with it every day. I didn't even ask if she was dry day to day, I just knew it would go away eventually.
She is your sweet little girl that would give anything to stop right now -- just leave her alone about it and love her, bedwetting and all; and don't let anyone shame her for this. I have no doubt that she'll grown up just fine. Merry Christmas to you and your family!
K.,
This problem is usually genetic. Did you or your husband wet the bed until older? The studies show that this problem is actually a sleep disorder and can be cured. Google search "bed wetting and sleep disorders" and you'll be led to clinics in your area that can help your daughter. Punishing her for something she can't control isn't the answer...
I personally would look into going to a pediatric urologist and make sure there is nothing going on. Talk to your pediatrician first though as depending on where you go they could get you in quicker or insurance could likely require a referral for the specialist.
Good luck!
K., My daughter is the same age and has the same issues. Have you talked to your daughter's pediatrician or to a urologist yet? Your doctor can test for any underlying medical causes. I understand there are "windows of opportunity" for the nervous system to develop to the point of the body holding the urine during sleep. I think 11-12ish is one of those windows of opportunity. Your doctor can prescribe a hormone (desmopressin) to be taken at night about an hour before bedtime, to slow down the production of urine for several hours. We have found this medication to be very useful in my daughter's case. She is dry almost everynight with this medication. Because enuresis is an involuntary issue, one can not be "commanded" to stay dry at night. You just have to wait until the neurological development is mature. Hopefully, it will mature. The new pullups that have just come to market are ultrathin and are perfect for sleepovers/overnights/visits with relatives. I do suggest having your daughter sleep in pullups at night because it is so frustrating to have to be continually washing sheets - I am so tired of it after so many years. It is no longer worth it to me. Just pray for patience. Your child is not doing this on purpose, and those alarms are very uncomfortable. And at 12, I am sure that to your child this problem seems endless and unsolvable since she has never had life any different. Here is a good website: http://kidshealth.org/teen/diseases_conditions/urinary/en...
Good luck!
I agree with a lot of the other moms. I would definately take her to the doctor. 12 years old is one of the key points in finding adolescent onset of diabetes and bed wetting is a sign of such. She may also have issues with her kidneys or a malformation of her bladder or ureter. I would make her do her own linens though. 12 years old is too old for mommy to wash nighttime accidents.
K.,
This is common & usually kids grow out of it with puberty. We dealt with many kids with the same issue. Just drives parents more crazy, I understand! But she really cannot help it & all the methods in the world will not help her if it is a deficiency, which is most likely. Cause...very simple; lack of B-Complex vitamin. Acidophilus helps tremendously, also. For specifics on how or additional infor via email, feel free to call anytime.
Have you talked to the Dr. about this? It can be a condition that she can't help.
Make sure she doesn't have an infection. That can cause accidents.
My first question would be, Have you taken her to the Pediatrician? My neighbor's son had a similar problem and they discovered that he did not secrete enough of the ADH hormone at night, and put him on a very low dose of DDAVP before bed.
my grandson just turned 11 and he was wetting the bed every night. my daughter in law took him to the dr. last week and they gave him a little pill that he takes every night for 6 weeks and i tell you he hasn't wet the bed since. that is amazing because this boy would soak the bed . so you might try that.
My kids are 17 and 14 and although infrequent, they both still wet the bed sometimes. I was the same till I was 13. It's usually genetic and becomes worse because the chemical that causes you NOT to urinate while sleeping is absent or in lower levels than is necessary - that's why as you get older, the levels increase and it usually stops. My son sleeps thru phones ringing and alarms but my daughter is a very light sleeper....don't make her feel bad, it's not her fault. But she does need to be responsible and making her bed is sufficient.
I was a bed wetter and it sucked. My parents tried everything - they bought a book. The medicine might be better now but when I took it made me restless and I was more tired during the day. It also brought on nightmares. My parents also tried the buzzer and YES it is very uncomfortable. What worked for me was to limit my liquid intake after a certain time and one parent getting me up to go the bathroom around 11:00pm.
It is very frustrating but your daughter isn't doing it on purpose. You are doing great.
I am sure it bothers her more than she lets on. She may really not be able to control this problem. You didn't mention if she has been given a good check up by a urologist or other M.D. That would be my first advice to rule out infection or other physical problem.
She is old enough to wash her own sheets so teach her and let her have that much responsibility and control. Beyond this you just may have to wait for puberty which may help the problem (but cause even more fun ones :) ).
