Bedtime Routine Getting Worse for 2-Year Old

My son was doing this last week. As soon as the books came out, he wanted milk, and would take sooo long to drink it. Then the same book, again, and again, and again.) This past week, he was grabbing his blanket after one book and laying down!

We got past it by having him finish his milk before the routine started. If he asked for more, we said no, it is bedtime. It did cause a melt down or two, but I treated it like any other tantrum, and I think it was only 2-3 nights, and then he was fine.

Hi J.!
This happened with our now 3 1/2 YO son. It used to take 20-30 minutes, then it turned into 1 hr+. I tamed this by giving him 'play-by-plays' for the evening. At dinner, I would tell him what we'd be doing afterwards - taking a bath, then reading TWO books after we brushed our teeth & combed our hair. Letting him know what the game plan & expectations really helped him. If we're running late, I tell him that it's late & we only have time for 1 book tonight. He accepts that but I generally let him chose the book too. Gives him decision making skills. We're back to a 20-30 minute routing after bath. He always asks me, "Do you want to lay?" meaning he wants me to lay down w/ him, so I tell him I'll lay w/ him for 5 minutes. After that time, I get up, ask for kisses & tell him good night. He generally lays there w/ his teddy bears or sings/talks until he falls asleep. It's a great routine for us and coincidentally, when he's anywhere else he kinda 'sets' the routine there b/c it's what he's used to. Sure helps eliminate tantrums in our house - hope it works in yours!! I have found that when kids know the expectations (ie. dinner's ready in 5 minutes, we leave the park in 15 minutes - then start the countdown every 5 minutes) they don't fuss as much. I've used this at the pool, park, relative's houses - it works great!! Sorry so long-winded....Good luck & God Bless!!!

He has you figured out!

You do not have to go cold turkey, though. Tell him- one story, one song, one drink, then lights out. Let him cry and get mad, but don't give in.

my hubby will go in his room pick him up and gently and kindly explain its bed time now, you need to go to sleep, and we will come and get you in the morining, i love you. gives him some hugs and kisses then puts him back down. he might ask him ok r u ready now. if he says no he will hold him and repeat the above and not ask him again but put him down. if he starts to cry he tells him no no its ok its just time for bed. now when i do this it dosent work very well. hubby has the touch on this one!!!

Hi there, my 2-year old went through something similar. the routine has to be consistent and you have to prep them. Say let's brush your teeth, read two books, sing a song, say goodnight, etc. and go to bed. It used to take more than an hour because they know how to manipulate you. You have to let him/her cry it out.

On a supernanny show, i did just that. If he/she gets out of bed, you hold your ground, keep marching him back to bed. The first night, my daughter screamed for an hour and half. I used a gate on her door and she would try and climb it, but she got the message and each day it got better and the time got less. It's like sleep training.

I know use a sticker chart with my 4-year old. I say if you do good going to bed by yourself, after filling up a row of 7 stickers, you can pick a prize and i have a bunch of prize bags! It works great!

You can't give in because consistency is key. They can sustain longer crying if you let him get past this age. They know what they need to do to get you to say yes. There's a book called something like "healthy sleep habits, healthy baby". the experts say when there sleep is so broken and inconsistent, it's not good for their recovery at night. Also, try going to bed earlier. The earlier they sleep, the better versus later because they become overtired.

J.,

My son used to go through that as well. When it started to get out of hand, I tried a couple of different things that seemed to work. I started teaching him about the clock and how late it was getting and letting him know he needed at least 12 hours of sleep because his body needed sleep to grow big and strong and be a bigger boy the next morning.
Another thing I would try is telling him about his next day and all the things that he was going to do and things he would see and places he would go so he would get excited about it and hurry up and go to sleep so the next day could come faster.
Another thing I would try is laying with him for about 5-10 minutes and we would discuss what he could dream about. We started using our imagination and talked about taking a train ride that led us to a magical land where there were candy cane trees, lollipop flowers, and a river of chocolate that he could go fishing in using gummy worms...it went on and on about picnics, horses, unicorns, etc. Then finally when our imaginations were worn out, he would be happy going to sleep since he knew about all the great things he would dream about.
Hope these tips help your so as much as they helped mine! :)
-Jen

The following info may be helpful and here's a link to another article on routines for children. Good luck!
http://blogs.goddardsystems.com/Cedar-Park-TX/2009/10/30/...

The following article by Kyle Pruett, M.D., provides excellent insight on this topic.
Children’s sleep issues are among the more challenging developmental stages for parents to master.  But biology is on the parents’ side in this one, because sleep patterns mature over time just like other developmental skills.

* Polls tell us that one-third of American children and their parents sleep together some or most of the time before children start school. Co-sleeping varies hugely by culture and ethnicity. So think about what you want to do, and discuss the pros and cons with your pediatrician.
* Make sure your crib is safe (locking rails), that your older child’s ‘big bed’ has side rails, and if you are co-sleeping, that there is plenty of room.
* The human brain is active during sleep, but the deepest sleep is typically at the beginning of the night.  Babies spend more time than older children in stimulating REM sleep, with eye movements and irregular breathing. Don’t worry about all that action in your child’s body – it too is growth.
* Start them young – do not ignore the importance of naps, watch for the yawn, and start bedtime early in the evening.
* The transition from crib to bed is also a time of sleep pattern changes, but most kids want it to work.
* To instill good sleep habits remember that consistency matters so much:

o Bath Time
o Goodnights
o Tuck and Talk Bedtime Story
o Lullabye (yours are best)
o Goodnights
Goddard School
This all sounds well and good, but it is a rare family that hasn’t had to handle some sleep trouble along the way.  If your family is trying to re-establish a lapsed routine, stay calm and reassuring.  We almost all need more sleep than we get, and it is a tremendous gift to our children to teach them how to sleep well.

Suggested Resource: American Academy of Pediatrics http://www.aap.org
.
Kyle D. Pruett, M.D. is an advisor for The Goddard School®. Dr. Pruett is an authority on child development who has been practicing child and family psychiatry for over twenty-five years. He is a clinical professor of child psychiatry at Yale University’s Child Study Center.

My 2 YO was doing the same thing! We finally discussed exactly what we were going to allow and stuck with it. Yes, she screamed and cried. It's SO pitiful to hear her crying for "water, water!" like we've never given her a drink. It took about 3 days and then she accepted the new (old) bedtime routine. I think we kept giving in because we were rewarding her for asking for the extra things so politely. It ended up biting us in the butt. They are definitely not stupid at this age. ;)
Good luck with sticking with it!

We put a sports bottle (the kind with a built-in straw, that disassembles to go in the dishwasher) in my daughter's crib, and later on her bedside table with water. She has a nightlight that charges during the day, but unplugs to go to bed with her at night (MOBI Tykelight - looks vaguely like a person - available at Wal-Mart in the baby section). She was allowed to take a stuffed animal and a soft book to bed with her. Lotion happens right after bath, period. This still got us "I need...um..." Right. If the kiddo can't think of what s/he needs, then s/he doesn't need it.

Story, allergy meds, brush teeth. She gets held up to turn the light off herself. Hugs, kiss, nuzzle from mom, then dad. Say goodnight. Leave. Kiddo cries - go in after three minutes, say goodnight, leave. Repeat at 5 minutes, then 7, then 9. (AKA the Ferber Method.) He'll get the idea. It really only takes about three days for a kid to develop a new habit, if done consistently. We've been doing this routine for three+ years.

Now that our daughter is older (almost 4), we've relaxed things a little bit. She has a lamp she can turn on/off by herself, and she's allowed to sleep with her door open. If she leaves her room, though, the door gets closed. But we don't mind if she gets up to get another stuffed animal or book or whatever, as long as she doesn't leave the room. Unless it's to go potty.

Hang in there, mom! It'll turn out allright!

Yep, my 2 year old does this, too. They are masters at it. We had a 45 minute standoff over a green bean. As far as bedtime, though, I just keep moving through the routine (about 10 - 15 minutes) even if there's a fight. It's important not to get irritated, just simply say, "no, that's plenty, now it's time for this . . ." If you get irritated and especially upset, they know they're wearing you down and you'll give in. My daughter can pitch a royal fit, but usually adjusts in less than a minute once we've moved on to the next step. If she doesn't, then she goes straight into the crib, I say "I love you, good night," and leave the room. She'll fuss for a little bit (never anything like 1/2 hour) and then settle. Sometimes, the routine is less than 5 minutes because she fights everything and we have to just move straight to the crib. It's not easy, but they need to know they can't run you over. Once your son knows he can't prolong everything, he will most likely go with the flow. Hang in there!