Bed Wetting in Later Childhood

Updated on August 26, 2008
S.M. asks from Overland Park, KS
29 answers

My son is 8yrs old and still wets the bed almost every night. I have tried restricting his fluid intake where he's not allowed after 6pm and even tried waking him up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and again at dawn and nothing seems to work. He will be 9 in a few months and the doctor assures me there is nothing wrong with him and that he will grow out of it but at this point I'm about out my mind with frustration. Please help me with any suggestions on how to solve this issue.

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R.L.

answers from St. Louis on

One of my sons had that problem too, and he did grow out of it. I wish I could tell you when it will happen. But, I can't really remember what age he was.

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J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

My younger brother had this problem 30 something years ago. Nothing my parents tried worked until my mom read that sometimes a milk allergy causes this. She took my brother off ALL cow's milk products and it cleared itself up within a month! You might try that...

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L.Y.

answers from Springfield on

I went thru the same thing with my oldest son until he was about 13. I started him on a routine chiropractic care. After about 3 weeks of treatment he was fine.

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S.T.

answers from Kansas City on

My son is also a bed wetter. He'll be 11 next month. He was fully potty trained and staying dry all night when he was 2 1/2, but around his 3rd birthday he started wetting the bed again. I've taken him to doctors and they've all said he's fine, it's normal. We've tried medications, such as Detrol, and they worked for a while, but eventually stopped working. I used to think he was just being lazy and just didn't want to get up to go, or too scared to get up to go. The only thing I haven't tried is the wettness monitor you put under their sheets because that just seems like it would scare the pee right out of them!! Anyway, after I found out he was hiding wet underwear and sleeping in wet sheets, I finally just gave up and started buying GoodNights. He sleeps better now and he doesn't feel so bad if he wakes up wet. And it's not an every night thing now, so I think he's starting to outgrow it. I would suggest taking your son to a urologist, just to make sure his plumbing is right, and then buy him some GoodNights. And restricting his fluids isn't really a good thing, especially in the summer, because he can get dehydrated. Just remember he can't help it, it took me a long time to realize that. I know it gets frustrating, but he'll grow out of it.

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K.B.

answers from Wichita on

Good Morning S., I can understand your frustration. Sometimes kids sleep so hard and soundly they just can not feel the urge to pee. Then there are those that feel everything and go and just dribble a few drops. Either way it is frustarting for them also.

Don't make to big a deal out of it as it is embarassing for him also to wake up wet. Help him learn to change his sheets, if you haven't already. Maybe look into a matt that would wake him up when he starts to go. One of my cousins wet the bed until he was 12. You might ask him if it would be ok if he tryed a pull up type of underwear at night until he feels he can make it on his own.

Be Patient S., it will happen one day and you can celebrate with him.

Be Blessed, Be a Blessing
K. nana of 5

1 mom found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

S. -
my own son was having the same problem! If we didn't wake him by 11:30pm, he'd wet the bed. Even so, we had rubber pads/mattress covers on the bed and he wore GoodNites (expensive for a big kid!). Our doctor also assured us he was ok just keep with it. Somewhere around Christmas, things really improved! Now he just turned 9 and hasn't wet the bed in months. Yeah! I was so tired of doing laundry!
good luck and keep the faith.
K.

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V.T.

answers from Kansas City on

I have a 15 year old son that just grew out of the same problem within the last couple of years. My 5 year old has the same problem, and I did until I was 12. We tried the monitor, medication and everything else that has been suggested to you. The only thing we did not try was checking into the milk allergy that is mentioned. I did not like the monitor (I'm not comfortable with anything electric on my son's underwear when they get wet). The medication that the pediatrician gave him didn't work, and we weren't comfortable with several increases in doses. My son went to many doctors and they all said he is fine, just a very heavy sleeper. We had to be persistent with the doctors because they have a tendency to not do anything about bed wetting. It took a few tries before we convinced our doctor that we wanted to try our different options. He finally outgrew it and now we are patiently waiting for my 5 year old to outgrow it. Most importantly, remember that unless he has had some major change in life he can't help what is going on. Bed wetting can be bothersome, but it takes patience. Don't get discouraged if you try something and it doesn't work, or works, but only for a short time. I don't believe any of the methods treat the cause, they only make the child more able to deal with it comfortably until they outgrow it. Whatever you do, be very encouraging to your child so that his self confidence doesn't suffer.

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K.F.

answers from Springfield on

I had a problem w/ wetting the bed WAY longer than I should have (into college). Before I started college, my grandmother took me to the dr., and I was put on Imapramine--seemed to help. I now work in mental health field, & have had clients on DDAVP, a nasal spray (might come in other forms as well, but I don't know). PLEASE don't try these "wet alarms" w/ him--tried them, and they didn't work. The wet alarms just stressed me out & disturbed my sleep.

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C.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Boys Bladders sometimes in these cases are much smaller than they should be.He should eventually grow out of it.Usually they will grow out of this as they get older Because their bladder begin to catch up as well.
Still nothing to drink after 6p.m. is a good idea
P.s. Try not to make such a Big Deal out of it, He will begin to feel very bad and may act out.Just reassure him that it will be OK, You don't want him to start hiding his sheets from you or trying to clean up without you knowing.He will begin to see you as a friend as well as his mother.My Son is Now 18 years old a Star Track Athlete and doing extremely well. So it will get Better I promise .

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A.P.

answers from St. Louis on

My daughter had the same problem at that age. My husband was a bed wetter as my sister. She used to wear "pull-ups" then "goodnights" to stay dry. Then someone told me it may not be a bladder problem but a sleep problem. Her night protection was preventing her from feeling the "wetness" when she would go in her sleep, therefore she wouldn't wake up to use the bathroom. So for 2 weeks I put her to bed without a "pull-up" or "goodnight" and put a plastic mattress protector on the bed along with a other extra protection under the sheets. She slept in just her regular underware and started to wake up when she felt herself going the bathroom. After about 2 weeks, 3 or 4 bed changes she was cured. I am not saying this is for everyone, but it worked for her. Once she felt the sensation to have to use the bathroom, she started waking up to do it. Good Luck!

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K.O.

answers from Wichita on

Hang in there! You are not alone. I have four boys and three of them are/were bedwetters. I have found that Good Nights brand underpant/"diapers" work well and are less embarrassing for the boys. They will outgrow it eventually, but I understand your laundry frustration! My oldest was almost twelve before he outgrew it, and one of my eight-year-olds stays dry most of the time now. Be patient and realize that "this too shall pass." Good Luck! Kati

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L.W.

answers from Kansas City on

Working in the medical field, you know the basics; 2nd opinion if you feel it's not being addressed, urinary tract infection or bladder concerns.

You may also be aware of this, but here's my two cents... I picked up on the divorce in your bio and I KNOW that bed wetting can be directly related to stress and change. First hand, in fact! Yep; My name is L. and I was a bedwetter. I've been a recovered bedwetter for years but occasionally fall off the wagon when I'm really stressed...

I would recommend perhaps a child psychologist visit? I actually have a wonderful woman who we just check in with once yearly before school starts(more often if my anxious child develops "sneaky worries", but that's a WHOLE other post!). She specializes in child anxiety. It gives my kids a chance to share any struggles or anxieties they have without Mommy constantly fishing for them. (Which I learned at one visit was the root of my then 7 year old's problem; the little snark!) It also gives me an outside view as to where my kids are in relation to topics I may or may not YET need to be addressing!

I rambled in another direction; sorry. Anyhoo; it's likely there are internal struggles or insecurities at his delicate age that are causing him to wet the bed. Remember, he's just as frustrated as you are. Even if he ACTS like it's no big deal to him(self defense; been there!) he is not enjoying the feeling of wetting and it likely causes him stress at night knowing that he WILL wake up wet.

Another suggestion: Look at your bedtime routine and be sure that it's structured. Same routine every night. NOW add something soothing. I often use exagerated remedies. Let me explain: (Yep; drifting again! Stick with me!) When my 5 year old was losing interest in what his teacher had to share towards the end of this last school year, I was really taken off guard. This "pleaser" never uttered a word out of place and always got his tasks at school completed. All of a sudden he was diagnosed with a disease I like to call SummersAlmostHereScrewSchool and he lost so much recess time I think he owed the teacher recess! Solution? I changed his breakfast. Nothing major; just bought a new cereal and told him it was a special cereal that had extra energy ingredients that help you focus and pay attention. He was so excited to be able to blame his FOOD for his behavior, and even more excited when the "power breakfast" worked just as I SAID IT WOULD... did you get that? Ahhh... the power of suggestion.

So... maybe try a new plan at night. Include the other 3. Family is crucial; especially when it's been structurally altered. I would try getting a story and giving them each a small cup of warm milk. Yes, I know it's liquid. But he's wetting without liquid, so what can it hurt? It's not the milk, but the power of it. (If they don't drink milk try hot chocolate or something else.) Here's the important part: Explain to him that you are trying something you think will help his body relax at night. Explain to him that a small cup of warm milk will remind his body that it's time to sleep and that it can stop working for a bit. Tell him it will relax his bladder muscle, keeping him from wetting the bed. (Then get ready for the "What ifs"! What if my heart relaxes and I die? What if my body forgets to breathe? Can you see the anxieties I deal with??) Be sure to tell him that it may take a few nights but you HOPE it works the first time. That way he won't feel like he's "broken" if it doesn't work for you! (I always have a back out plan! The last thing I want to do is further damage my kiddos by trying to fix them!)

Well, there ya go. Good luck! If you do want the name of our "Coach" let me know!

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S.P.

answers from Joplin on

We went through the same problem. Our oldest son was a bed wetter until he was about 11. We tried the alarm (annoying) and withholding fluid and anything that had diuretic properties after a certain hour. Nothing really worked but time. I went to a medical supply place and bought 2 waterproof pads. They are thick pads that are either pink or blue on one side. At that time, they were just coming out with Goodnights. He wouldn't wear them though and I don't blame them. At that time, they were meerly Pull-ups without the printing on the front. They really looked like a diaper. Now, I notice how nice and discrete they are getting.
Just remember... this too is just a phase. You'll make it.

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S.G.

answers from St. Louis on

I have had 3 kids and two of them were also bed wetters. Believe me he is as frustrated as you are, he is also embarrassed. If there is nothing wrong with him he will grow out of it. There are ways to make it easier on everyone though. These things help everyone, they are not meant to be a punishment but a help to all involved. Place extras sheets and blankets in his room. If he wakes up wet in the middle of the night he can strip his own bed and make himself comfortable until morning without waking you up. Teach how to throw his sheets and blanket into the washer and drier. Let him know that none of this is a punishment but a way to help you and him. If he can take care of some of it by himself it allows for less embarrassment and gives him a little more control over a situation that he feels helpless about. Both of my boys told me after they got older that being able to take care of some of it by themselves made it a lot easier for them to deal with. One of my sons told me that he remembers dreaming one night that he should get up and strip his bed, when he woke up he was not wet and was able to get up and go to the bathroom. It does happen, relax and work at it as team with your son.

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G.N.

answers from St. Louis on

Was he fully potty trained and just started wetting the bed recently or has he never stopped wetting the bed? Does he wear regular underwear to bed? Has anything happened recently that he could be trying to get xtra attention? I noticed you said you were divorced was that something that just happened recently? Kids will do anything to try to get xtra attention from a parent. If nothing has changed maybe sit down and talk to him ask him what is wrong and why do you still wet the bed,if nothing is wrong well then tell him, that you will start putting diapers on him again if he wants to wet himself like a baby. Only babies wet themselves and let him know big boys go in the potty not in their pants.

My mom said my younger brother was potty trained and then we took on another little girl for a bit and he just started wetting his pants/bed after we took her in.

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M.L.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter is 9 years old and she still wets the bed nightly ( and my sister did until she was in junior high). I have discussed it with my doctor several times and he assures me that there is nothing wrong with her. He said it is because she sleeps so soundly and doesn't feel the "urge" when it is time to go. We use the "Goodnights" on a nightly basis but the doctor did prescribe DDAVP for her. She only takes it when she is going to a sleepover or having a friend stay the night although the doctor said it is safe for her to take every night if we choose. It really does help. She is very sensitive about it so the medication alleviates a lot of stress for her when she is on an overnight with a friend. Hope this helps!

M.

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S.M.

answers from Wichita on

Hi S.,
I have a son who is 7 1/2 and still occasionally wets the bed too. I've noticed it happens more often when he seems to be going through a growth spurt. I did some research on it and found that it is often a sleep problem not a bladder problem. I know of several companies that have different systems to help eliminate the issue, but can't remember them off the top of my head. We've talked about using them, but haven't yet. I hope this helps!!

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C.L.

answers from Kansas City on

My son is 7.5 and has this problem as well. I've talked to his Dr. about it, even went to a specialist at Children's Mercy. We did everything they said, restricted fluids at night, no caffiene, no citric acid blah blah blah and it didn't work. We used to wake him about midnight and have him go, but the Dr. said DON'T DO IT!! Because when you do that, the child is half asleep at that point, not fully awake, and is peeing half asleep, so it doesn't help! I decided not to do the medication, and I can't afford a bed moniter right now, but heard they can help. For now, we just but goodnights, and same nights he's dry, others he's not! We thought buying those were enabling him, but it's not, it's just a comfort measure for him now, and less laundry for me! It's just something they will eventually grow out of. It wouldn't hurt to talk to your Dr. about it and have your son checked out though just to be sure! Good Luck and try to be patient ; )

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K.L.

answers from St. Louis on

It is not uncommon for children to experience this into their teens. Our son could not seem to wake in the night. He would sleep walk to find a bathroom, so we never knew where his dream state would lead him. It was common to find his pajama bottoms in the middle of his bedroom floor in a puddle, but the bed was dry. Poor guy really tried.

Knowing what I know now, I would take him to a chiropractor or a naturopath that is a good nutritionist. I would also see someone who could teach me a simple acupressure technique known as EFT (www.emofree.com). This issue can be considered a childhood sleeping disorder. He may need magnesium, B vitamins, zinc, or a good brand of Omega 3 fatty acids (Nordic Naturals is the one I prefer).

Although most kids with this issue simply grow out of it with puberty, it is no fun to live with and can cause emotional stress for the child. I hope his sibblings know to be discrete. My older sister had this problem until age 9. None of us would have dreamed of telling her friends. I shared a double bed with her. My parents just put an old shower curtain under the mattress pad. That seemed to keep both the matress and me dry. I can't help but wonder if this effected her self-esteem, nonetheless. I feel it caused our son some amount of anxiety as well. If I had known then what I know now, I would have looked into nutritional ideas.

Also, according to MDs who choose to practice nutritional and natural approaches, eating foods cooked in the popular non-stick cookware is associated with incontinence. You might try avoiding the teflon coated pans and see if it makes a difference. I hear the stuff those pans put into your food causes more problems for males than for females.

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C.M.

answers from Kansas City on

A lot of little boys have this problem. My brother struggled with it for years. I think part of it was just laziness but another part was that they really don't feel the need to go in the middle of the night. My parents even went as far as getting him a water bed because they had heard that this would help. I'm sorry I really can't offer much advice but I thought I would let you know that you are not alone. I seem to remember some kind of sensor that you could also put on their bed to help them recognize that they need to get up. I'm sure with a little research you could find all kinds of helpful suggestions of things to try. Good luck!

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K.W.

answers from Kansas City on

My son had the same problem and I did some research and I found a doctor out of state that told me it was possibly had to do with the type of sleep he was getting so we changed his routine in the evening.No caffiene 2or 3 hours befor bedtime and no snacks 2 hours befor, and no action t.v. 2 hours befor bedtime , that anything that was going to hype him up and he was not a hyper child, he did get to watch t.v but it something soothing and I did let him drink water that wasn't one of the suggestions that had a whole lot to do with it and soon after we did that he stop wetting the bed and kept with that routine for a long time cause it seem to work and he got better sleep. I know it's frustrating but you it won't hurt to try.Good luck

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A.P.

answers from Kansas City on

I have two boys who have both dealt with this issue. First off, eliminate MILK from their diet in the evening (like after 4pm) because the proteins and/or sugars in the milk irritate the bladder. It helped immensely in both my boys.

Second of all, have an ENT check their adnoids and tonsils. If they are large, it will affect how they sleep and create deep sleep--which in turn affects how and if they wake up to go.

My oldest grew out if it on his own. My 10 year old has had the condition improve greatly after having his tonsils out.

Good luck!

A.

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A.H.

answers from St. Louis on

You definitely received a lot of responses. My son was 9 and was using Goodnights until a friend spotted them in his closet. He was embarrassed and wanted to do something about it. We went to
the medical supply and invested in an alarm. We followed the instructions completely, especially making sure that you wake them completely. You must be very consistent. Its like having a baby again, waking in the middle of the night. The investment pays for itself in what you'd pay for goodnights. After about 3-4 weeks we were done!! We worked as a team. It sure worked for us.

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K.P.

answers from Topeka on

S., You may think this sounds crazy, but I would recommend a chiropractic consulation. Something connecting the vertebrae and his urinary tract could be out of "wack". My children visit the chiropractor frequently. Many times we go to the chiropractor before the medical doctor. And many times, we never have to go see the medical doctor. Try to find a chiropractor that knows about children. My chiropractor was raised by her parents of chiropractors and is now a chiropractor herself. It could be as simple as one adjustment or the child my need a few. But it would be worth a try just to stop having to do all the laundry and to help with the child's self esteem. Good luck. I hope chiropractic helps.

J.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I was a bedwetter until I was 13. Trust me, not something I wanted, but I couldn't control it. My parents tried EVERYTHING. Medications, electric sensors that set off an alarm at the first drop of moisture, rewards, waking me up every couple of hours, etc. I am a very heavy sleeper, and I just slept through it and didn't have the bladder strength to make it through the night. It was very embarrassing - I couldn't go to sleepovers except at my best friend's house because she was the only one who knew. My parents were very supportive and let me know it wasn't my fault even though I know it was frustrating for them to deal with. My dad was a bedwetter, too. They say there's possibly a genetic connection. Just know that he'll eventually outgrow it and try to be patient. Good luck!

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M.G.

answers from Kansas City on

Your doctor is right. Some children's bladders simply mature later. My son is almost 6 and still soaking his pullup every night. I expect this for at least 2 more years, because my husband was 8 or 9 and so was his father before either of them were dry through the night. Please don't wake him in the night to go to the bathroom. Children grow and develop when they sleep, so they need their sleep more than they need to be dry in the morning. Buy some GoodNights pullups and try not to stress about it.

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M.V.

answers from Kansas City on

I was at least that age when I grew out of that problem. We even had to keep extra clothes for me at school. I suggest patience and love. Please don't do what my mother did. She thought I was being lazy and tried discipline and humiliation. To this day I remember my own mother making fun of me for something I couldn't control. Once, when I was in the second grade, she put me in a diaper when I had an accident at church. I know now, as a teacher and a mom, the frustration she must have been feeling, but please, please, please, don't let it show to your child! It has taken years to get mostly, still not totally, over the pain I felt.

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R.K.

answers from St. Louis on

I agree with everyone else, but I would still check with a pediatric urologist just be make sure there is nothing medically wrong. The boyfriend I had in college told me that he used to be a bedwetter up to age 12 or 13 and he had to have surgery to cure it, His "tubing" was too narrow and had to be "expanded."

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B.D.

answers from St. Louis on

I know that many of the other responses weren't helped by the electron sensors, that go under the sheet, and alarm when wet, but that's what finally broke me at age 10. My parents had tried everything also. When we did what they said to do, and got up when the alarm went off, and followed the directions, I was dry within two weeks. I was SOOO happy! It is a terrible burden for a child to carry. Best of luck to you!

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