Bed Wetting - Wareham,MA

Updated on November 05, 2008
D.C. asks from Wareham, MA
13 answers

Hi, My son in 4yrs old and decided that he is too old for "Pullups" or
"Goodnight Underpants". He has been potty trained during the day since he was 3yrs old. But nighttime has become an issue. He went many consecutive nights dry so my husband and I thought it would be a good time to phase out the Pullup at night. We try to stop fluids by 7pm, but there are nights that are so busy that we realize that he hasn't had anyting to drink since dinner and it's now 730 so we give him alittle milk. Then he goes to bed at 815p and goes to the bathrm right before bed, then my husband wakes him up before he goes to bed around 11p-12a to go again. This morning for instance he came into our bedrm @ 3a, soaked...his bed totally soaked and on the second mattress cover. Last week he went 4days straight dry. This morning I tried to explain to him that Pullups don't make him a "baby" (like his potty training sister). That they are just in case he has a accident and he won't wake up with his pjs and bed wet. But our words that we spoke two months or so ago when we stoppped the pullups are are backfiring. He tells us what we told him "wearing regular underwear will help him learn and know when he is wet." Another reason why we stopped wearing them was we think he was to dependent and comfortable with them and was going in them when he knew he had to go, like first thing in the morning. Any personal experiences and advise will be so appreciated.

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So What Happened?

Thank You to everyone for your advise. I am very well aware that he may not developmentally ready. He may not be ready for a while and my husband (who himself wet until 10 and thankfully did out grow it :) ) and I know that and are not pressured nor are we trying to pressure our son. This is something we tried...like I said in my posting he had gone many nights dry and woke with a rush to the bathroom like most of us. I've taken lots of great advice in mind. We are going to continue to limit fluids in the eve. He is a very deep sleeper so we are going to try the new "big boy" underjams and maybe even wear his fav. superhero big boy undies over them. Thanks to the mom with the great towel trick, but he doesn't always wake when he is wet...definitely may use it down the road. Thanks to everyone!! D.

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K.D.

answers from Boston on

My oldest son also had an issue with bedwetting. He was 'daytime' potty trained by 2.5 and was about to start kindergarten while still wetting at night. I was very upset and felt like I failed at this stage of parenting because everyone else his age (it seemed) was completely trained.
I brought it up to his pedi, and told him how we were wakng him at night with no avail.
His suggestions-do NOT wake him at night. You're not actually teaching him anything. His body needs to get the signal himself. (I didn't like that suggestion at all). Secondly, and most importantly, he'll be ready when he's ready. I got him back into the pull-ups with different tactics (mostly, he just didn't want to keep waking up wet and was not a fan of helping me change the sheets at 2am), and put a protector on his bed. He didn't earn special rewards for keeping dry, just a neutral 'good job, keep it up'. He can't control the bedwetting. His body will be ready when it's time.
Hang in there-it'll fix itself soon!

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M.K.

answers from Boston on

It is fairly common for 4-year-olds to still wet the bed - some children aren't physically ready to make it through the night at this age. In fact, 1 out of every 5 five-year-olds still wet the bed, and this is more common for boys than for girls. Your son probably just needs to grow up a little more and then he will be big enough to not wet the bed. You could try explaining this to him, and if he still wants to try big boy underpants at night time, just make sure he has a waterproof mattress cover and keep some towels and clean clothes stocked in his room for nighttime accidents. You can change his clothes, put a folded bath towel over the wet spot and have him sleep on that and then change the sheets in the morning.

Wikipedia has a good article on bedwetting if you'd like to learn more:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bedwetting

1 mom found this helpful
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G.V.

answers from New London on

I looked it up online for you and "Goodnights" now has sleep shorts: "GoodNites® Sleep Boxer for boys come in two sizes: S-M: 38-65 lbs and L-XL: 60-110+ lbs. So unless your son is over 110 lbs., here's your answer! Here's the website. You can even buy them online if you don't want to buy them in the store.
http://www.goodnites.com/NA/products/BuyOnline.aspx
Good luck and God bless!

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T.C.

answers from Boston on

I also had this problem with my oldest son. He went almost two years being dry through the night and then when he turned 5 he started wetting the bed. We tried everything from rewards to punishments(making him clean and change his own bed, puting him on the bottom bunk, earlier bed times) limiting his fluid intake, making him go before we went to bed, etc... Our pediatrician suggested a bed wetting alarm, he said some kids dont get the message they need to pee until its too late. It worked well, and I am happy to say he's been dry for over two years now. He had a couple set backs initially but he got it and now its a distant memory. Hope this helps.

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T.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi D.,
This can be frustrating so don't worry if you feel that way. We went through it with our son until he was eight!

Our MD recommended nothing big to drink after 4pm. With dinner we'd give him a very small amount of liquid. Literally, about two sips' worth. Nothing to drink before bed. (We think he might have "cheated" by taking sips of water when he brushed his teeth.) I know that sounds harsh. He learned to accept it because he realized how horrible he felt to wake up wet. I think you're doing the right thing by waking him up to pee in the night and having him pee right before bed.

You could try a bed-wetting alarm but for us it didn't work because my son slept so heavily that he didn't wake up, it just woke the rest of the house. If you do decide to go that route, we got a good one from an online source called the bedwetting store or something like that. It does work for some children, it just didn't for ours.

As I said, we went through this until our son was eight. We were very frustrated and worried, especially because our MD kept telling us it was still within normal, and we didn't see how it could be. But he did just stop one fine day. So take heart. Keep doing the things you're doing, and it will be fine. Best of luck!

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E.C.

answers from Boston on

When I used to work in daycare one parent told me that her dr. told her that mild and dairy products make you pee so at night maybe try giving your son a little water instead of milk and also think about no dairy after dinner. I try it with my daughter but she still pees but she just turned 2 so I'm not concerned about it working. It is worth a try.

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C.R.

answers from Boston on

My four year old also wants to wear his 'big-boy' pants to bed, but is rarely dry in the morning. As a compromise, he can wear the underpants but has to wear a pull-up as well. I prefer the pull-up inside the underpants, less mess. But the wet underpants inside the pull-up help him to be aware of when he wets. Also, he sleeps through anything. I expect we'll be working this issue for a couple more years.
Good Luck!

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J.S.

answers from Springfield on

My four year old has been day trained since 25 months and still needs pull ups at night. We've tried going without and the subsequent nights have been....very damp.

Because I'm lazy, lazy, lazy and don't feel like doing laundry, I went back to pull ups and figured the cost of the pull ups was worth the aggravation of washing pee-drenched blankets. LOL.

D.B.

answers from Boston on

He's not ready. He's too young. There is a developmental stage that kids often don't reach until they are 6 or 7. All kids go thru developmental milestones at different points - yours is bright and creative but that doesn't mean his bladder is fully developed yet. It's not a question of choosing to go - his bladder and brain are not connected enough to wake him up at the "full" feeling. Meantime, he's not getting enough sleep! He's up at 12 to pee, then awake at 3, soaking wet. This is no way to go thru life. I went thru this with my son - we did those "wet alarms" for months (very unsuccessfully) and he finally was given the medication to keep him from peeing at night. Your words from a few months back are, in your own words, backfiring - underwear does NOT teach a child to know when he is wet. This is NOT within his control - do you think he enjoys waking up at 3 am with a soaked bed? He will only feel badly about himself if this continues. Talk to your pediatrician and, if necessary, a pediatric neurologist. I'm guessing they will tell you to put him back in pull-ups or those new night-time pajama things, and to tell him you were mistaken and now you know that the underwear isn't going to teach him anything when he is fast asleep. All you have now is an unhappy little boy, sleepless nights, and a lot of laundry. Take the arguments out of it, and let him grow up on his own. Good luck.

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J.C.

answers from Providence on

Hi- I don't have any personal experience with this, but I remembered seeing this product, the "Nite Train'R" from Leaps and Bounds (http://www.leapsandbounds.com/catalog/product.jsp?product...) that may be helpful. If he is reluctant to wear pull ups and wants the choice to try to wear regular undies 24/7, this might be a good tool to provide him (?). Once again, I have not used this etc, but I trust the brand and there are a number of reviews of the product you can read and see what you think. I searched their site for "bed wetting" and a few other products came up as well that you might want to consider. Good luck!

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H.Z.

answers from Boston on

D.,

As a nurse I am surprised that you don't know the statistics. I believe it's 15% of children whose bodies are just not ready yet for overnight potty training. I believe it can be genetics. My nephew is 10 and is still in Goodnights and it is not uncommon. He is a very normal, healthy, active boy. He just sleeps so incredibly deeply that it is not waking him. His father is a doctor and although a bit frustrated, knows full well that when the body is ready he will be done with pullups. I think you might just want to back off and leave him be. You can try the alarm, etc. but none of that worked for my nephew, it just made him depressed. So give your son a break. My 5 year old is no where close to being night time trained, although my almost 4 year old is. I am not worried!

Good luck!!!

H. Z. (SAHM 5, almost 4, 15 month boys)

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L.L.

answers from Portland on

Honey, you are the mother.
If the child needs pullups at night to keep bed dry, then use them.
You do not need to explain or justify yourself to this boy.
You could say he simply is not ready to go all night without them if you feel you need to but you do not need to consult him on the issue.
Night dryness is a lot different than day dryness. He is doing well to stay dry all day every day.
And I dont think he goes in his pullups in the mornings because he feels comfortable in them, perhaps because he cannot get to the bathroom in time?
Now, you could have a bedwetter there. It happens. From seven children I had one girl and one boy who were bedwetters. My daughter stopped at about eight years old but the boy went to pubescence before stopping.

I have a 12 year old grandson who still has occassional night wetting. When he comes here I have night thingys,I try different brands and types. Unfortuneately they do not all work.
The grandson has been tested for every possible thing that could be causing it but all tests come back fine.
Who knows why?
He is a very active child ...my two bedwetters were very active too.
Other than that, use a tincture of time. I dont know any adults who are bedwetters.
Relax. Happens in the best of families. You are doing nothing wrong to cause this. But you may need to back off some on the HUGE ISSUE thingy. I am sure it makes him nervous and feeling like a failure. Treat it like a runny nose. It happens, wipe it up until next time it happens.
Best wishes
God bless
Grandmother Lowell

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R.K.

answers from Springfield on

Its very common for children this young to still wet the bed especially boys their little bladders just aren't big enough and most sleep so deeply they just don't wake up when they need to go. If you try explaining the pullups again he might go for it those underjams that pampers make feel more like underwear and you get more for your dollar if he still doesnt go for it you could try cloth training pants http://www.heinyking.com/store/c/20-Training-Pants.html they look just like underwear with the exception that they are lined and water proof you would only need a few since its just at night. Good luck.

I also want to add that they make a water proof pad that goes over the bed sheet you could also try that it will save you from having to wash everything. They sell them at most medical supply stores.

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