Bathtime Nightmare

Updated on October 25, 2006
K.D. asks from Merritt Island, FL
17 answers

My 2 year old son has recently decided he doesn't like to take baths. When it is time for his bath, he throws a tantrum. I've tried making it fun for him by telling him he can take a different toy into the tub with him. But he usually takes the toy and throws it. This is a new behavior and he is very adamant that he does not want to take a bath. I am very patient with him because I know that this is typical toddler behavior. Despite his tantrums, I still bathe him because I don't want him to think that he can throw a tantrum and he can get his way. Does anyone have any suggestions that might help?

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for the wonderful suggestions. They've all been great. I tried the shower thing but he was even more adament that he did not want to take a shower. I am definitely going to try the roll on colored soap from avon and the colored pellets that were suggested. So far, the treats have worked the best. I tell him that he can have grapes or a dum dum pop after he takes his bath and he usually runs to the bath tub now. The first few times, he immediately asked for the treat right after but now he forgets all about it because he is enjoying his baths again. I also elimated putting bubbles into his bath and that seems to have helped. Most of the time, I put him into the tub while the water is still running and he loves to play with the running water. I trully appreciate all of the great suggestions!! This was my first request and this has been so helpful.

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K.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Ok a few suggestions. Try letting him wear his bathing suit in the bath tub. Make him think it's like a swimming pool. My kids thought it was great when I let them do this. Another suggestiong it to get the body paint soap from avon. it come in rollers and 4 different colors so that they are painting themselves and washing at the same time. Another idea is bath crayons. It allows kids to write on the shower wall and bath tub and it rinses right off. Also shaving cream works wonders. My kids LOVE to draw on the shower walls with shaving cream. Just pu some in his hand and let him have at it with the wall. And lastly let him take a shower instead. My son LOVES showers because he feels like daddy and makes him feel more independant. Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from Providence on

Have you tried a shower? To make it easier get a Water Pic or similar shower head that comes down. He can sit and play or stand. The shower head makes it eaiser keep the shampoo out of thier eyes. Tell him that is how "Big" boys and girls bathe. You could let him shower with Daddy (if Daddy is around) to try it out.

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N.G.

answers from Burlington on

I have the same problem! I assumed it was because I switched to regular shampoo and soap and maybe it was hurting his eyes but now I wonder if its just a normal age thing! About three months ago I flat took away all the bath toys because I was sick of picking them up from across the room and drying the floor. What I've been doing is just fighting with him and getting it done as quickly as possible for several months now. However, about a week ago I decided I might as well give him a few toys again and see what happened, so I found some cars that he hadn't played with in a long time and I gave those to him. For the past week I haven't been able to get this kid out of the tub!!! I don't know what it was about those cars but it worked. I don't know if this will help you in any way but I wish you the best of luck!

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M.T.

answers from Portland on

Have you tried a shower instead of a bath? Maybe he could shower with his dad, or you if you feel comfortable with that. If not, you could try him being in the shower by himself with you right outside. Obviously you would still need to wash his hair and make sure he washes his body thoroughly, but it might be easier! It will be very wet though!

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J.F.

answers from Boston on

Try lettin him in the shower with u standin out side the shower .. My daughter likes the shower better bc she can do it on her own (im right there tho) but u no what i mean ... She can wash her self and i help with the shampoo and what not so .. U can try that ...
J.

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E.D.

answers from Providence on

I had the same problem. My son will be two at the end of November. His big issue was getting his hair wet, no matter what we did he would flip out, scream and cry. We tried the bath visors, the special hair rinse cups he just wouldn't do it- it got to the point were he wouldn't get in the bath because he knew that he would get his head wet. What we did is start bathing him every other night and we didn't wash his hair each and every time, this got him over the fear of getting in the tub. After that we got him a little shower mirror and he could watch while he washed his hair (of course we did it but we gave him some shampoo to get it soapy). We also have toys that he only plays with in the tub.
HTH
E.

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M.L.

answers from Burlington on

Hi. I am by no means an expert on this but when my son started refusing to take baths it was due to the babysitter I used a couple of times. He, unfortunately molested both of my older children. My son was around 2 at the time. I am in no way saying this is the case with your son but it might be worth checking every angle.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

I went through the same thing with my nephew. I tried giving him a shower instead... worked miracles. Plus they are a little bit quicker than baths. I would try that. :) Good Luck!

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A.O.

answers from Hartford on

how about you try a shower instead?

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M.H.

answers from Lewiston on

I to had the same problem with my daughter right around the time she turned two!! Luckily she grew out of it in a month or two!! I did the same thing you did I just put her in the tub... also I would give her a shower once in awhile because she didn't mind that as much!!

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K.D.

answers from New York on

First off I think the best thing TO do it just what you're doing, NOT giving in to him and still bathing him. Cause if he thought he could get his way by acting like that you'de totally be reinforcing that behaviour, so good for you that you aren't letting him win this one!!! Persistence in the end will pay off and you'll get through this! Here's a few more things he might enjoy in the tub: toys R us has little water color pellets you can drop into the tub to make the water different colors, you buy them in a set of the 3 primary colors so you can basically make the tub water any color he wants, you can let him pick out the color, that might be something he likes that will encourage him into the tub? Another thing is, Avon sells (and I have these, too LOL:) roll-on bath soap for kids, they can roll on different colors, like deodorant roll-on, and kinda make different colors on their arms and tummies that wash off... Gina seems to get a kick out of those, you just have to watch that they don't drop into the tub and are allowed to remain in the water, cause I guess teh soap would come out or it gets watered down or something?... I also have a set of foam fish that you wet and stick to the walls.... we play games with those, and she is learning the names (octopus, dolphin, shark, etc.) this set was also bought at Toys R Us.... anything to keep them happy in there and distracted while you're washing them up! Good luck!

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R.C.

answers from Portland on

Me TOO! I have a 2yo son and he used to love baths and now its a nightmare. He'll go in it, but wont let us wash his hair or body. And now he is splashing water and dumping water onto the floor. I'm so frustrated. My hubby refuses to give him a bath now. He cant handle it. I too wash through the screaming. But AHHH. What do we do?

R.

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A.R.

answers from Boston on

My oldest son, who is now almost 7, did the same thing around 2 years old. He would scream as if being tortured. We still bathed him, but tried different tactics. For awhile I would take a bath with him, and that worked, but when that wore off, we did showers. Yes that wore off as well, so we just changed something about the bath, such as games he could play while in there or toys. Unfortunately there isn't a magic answer because what works with one child might not work with another. All you can do is try to figure out what will work and do your best to not rip your hair out. Eventually your son will calm down. My son finally got to a point were as long as his head was back and I put my hand above his eyes when rinsing the shampoo out, he wouldn't flip out as much. I send you lots of calming vibes, lol.

A.

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H.M.

answers from Lewiston on

A friend of mine just went through this with her 2 year old boy. for months, he refused the bath. So she kept him as clean as she could, sponge bathing and such- hosing him outside in the summer, even. She simply waited it out, and now he loves the bath again. Is it worth the fight? Why doesn't he want the bath? for her it was worth it to wait it out and skip the screaming...remember with toddlers- choose your battles wisely!

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B.

answers from Portland on

I had this same problem with both of my children. To get them to take a bath, I let them have a popcicle in the tub. It has worked great. It is also a very neat way to let them have a popcicle.

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C.H.

answers from New York on

My son was the same way around 2 yrs old. I just kept putting him in the tub because he has to take a bath. I ignored his crying and did my job; washed his hair and body, then made him sit there crying for a couple of mins. Eventually he got the point, no matter what he did he was still gonna get a bath and a month later he stop throwing the tandrums. Just keep doing your job. It' sreal tough to deal with tandrums I know. My son manages to complain about something every day!

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M.A.

answers from Boston on

It seems I live on www.parenting.com, but they always have excellent advice for everything it seems, LOL! Before I get into the article, what I did with my two year old when he resists is I tell him that he is not getting his favorite toy; after that blew over, now I bathe him with a cup of juice. He loves it; after awhile, I started to take the juice and place it on the seat, and he would scream for it. I would say, "Stand up...Let Mama wash." After a few times of that, he got the point, which meant that after bath time he gets his juice. Eventually he knew that I brought the juice into his room - I would show him the cup. It made him want to suds up and get out for his juice. After that, he finally understood that he doesn't get his juice until his diaper is on and his clothes are on. Long story short, with training him with this little routine, he is now 2 years old, 4 months, and he gets in the bath without trouble, he gets out on his own, let's me dry him, runs into his bed, and lies down waiting for the diaper to go on. Once the diaper is on, and I've dressed him, guess what? He looks for his cup of juice, LOL! I used to hide it to play a game, so now after 4 months the first thing he does is look under the blanket. Then I used to hide it under his pillow, and he soon caught on. Now, when there is no cup of juice, he gets upset, but eventually I distract him with something else. Anyways...it worked like a charm. Kids love juice, and if he's sipping his juice as you suds him up, and slowly work the juice out of the tub onto the toilet seat, then into his room on the dresser in plain sight, then eventually hide it in his drawer or under a blanket, and have him look for it. I sometimes say, "Tell Mama where Juice is?" Anyways...good luck! I hope you like this article, although it didn't really answer your question too specifically...feel free to ask me if you want the articles directly related to temper tantrums, but my personal experience is what helped my son with his unwillingness (he didn't throw tantrums) to bathe. Also, which is a last resort, give him a treat for doing a good job with taking a bath, and repeat it with clapping, like, "Good Job (your son's name); you did a good job taking a bath!" And clap excitedly. Then give him a treat of a cup of juice, or something sweet. They will see that as a reward. Only once, I gave my son some yogurt, and he was thrilled. (Sweet yogurt.) A few other times I've given him a quarter piece of a cookie, etc. It really helped calm him for bath; now he runs to the tub, and jumps in ready with all of his clothes on, LOL! He actually did that once while the water was running; it was too funny. Had to remove a heavy diaper and soaking wet clothes, LOL! Good luck!

www.parenting.com Article:

Ending Bath Time Struggles
Ways to stop the squirming and resistance at bath time
By Anita Sethi, Ph.D.

Heard of that rodeo sport involving grease and a squealing, high-spirited pig? Trying to bathe a squirmy, soapy baby is something like that — except there's no blue ribbon at the end for a job well done. Here are some ways to manage:

Contain him. Using a bathtub seat will help your baby stay steady in the suds — and if it looks fun, he may even get into it willingly. Look for one with more than just suction cups, that secures over the side of the tub. The First Years Tub-to-Seat Bath Complete is a good bet ($25; at Target and Babies "R" Us) — he won't be able to stand up, and you'll have a free hand to grab the shampoo.

Entice him. Make it more appealing to sit. Give him a squeeze bottle filled with diluted food coloring. You can also decorate the walls of the tub with shaving cream; your baby will love the feel of it, and it rinses right off (if he's apt to eat it, try whipped cream). Many moms swear by filling the bath to the brim with toys. Or give your wet-and-wild child a giant sponge to wash himself with.

Deal with it. Since this stage doesn't last too long, you can just hold your wet, wiggling bundle and let him bathe standing up for the time being. Place nonslip appliqués on the tub floor, and use time-saving baby wash that's made for both hair and body. If he's the strong-willed type, backing off now may be just the tactic to prevent bathing battles in the future.

Babytalk, December/January 2006

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