Bare Bottom Potty Training

Updated on June 18, 2013
F.B. asks from Kew Gardens, NY
13 answers

Mamas & Papas-

We've had DS is pull ups for 3+ months. He was enthusiastic about using the toilet at first, but now less so. We're running out of pull ups, and I'm thinking its time for all us to have our hand forced into toilet training in earnest. For those of you who did the bare bottom route, what does it entail? Our kid isn't at all bothered by "helping" to clean up. He rather enjoys it. If I am to do training pants instead, then what?

I get the point that I should take him every 1/2 hour or so, and that I should praise him for trying, and praise harder for succeeding, but not sure, what if any correction I offer with the accidents and deliberate misses.

Thanks,
F. B.

PS- the preschool we hope to enroll him in in Sept requires them to be fully potty trained and self sufficient. He will be 3 in Oct.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your great advice. Sorry, I can't send flowers, somehow, that function is not enabled.

We are guilty as charged re: being lazy about pull ups. We aren't using them as waterproof training pants, and being good about toilet teaching, instead we are using them as diapers. When they run out, we'll have no choice but to change our tune.

We'll start this weekend, and plan to do little but toilet. The bare bottomed routine will probably not work for us. DS used the toilet this morning, then happily peed the floor, and the corner when he was bare bottomed.

Hopefully, a weekend in training pants/ underwear will get him started, then grandma and daycare can follow through.

Best to you all,
F. B.

Featured Answers

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

buy some thick training pants.. gerber is fine.. walmart or kmart target should have them.. we needed 12 pairs. put him in training pants and tell him to keep dry. TAKE him to the potty every 30 minutes. do not ask. "time to go potty"

if he goes .. small reward.. smarty m&m... if he wets... change pants and say keep pants dry.. both of my kids got it on the third day.. they were pretty much dry all the time after the 3rd day.

you must stay home until he gets it. no errands.. as he needs to go potty every 30 minutes. do not plan to get anything done.. just train him.

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H.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son was very stubborn with the potty training and was not trained until he was 3.5 yrs. when he was ready he asked for underwear. He used the potty even when we were out and about. I think we had maybe three accidents. He stayed dry thru the night with in three weeks. He never used pull ups. I know there are those who will say I am a lazy parent, but when kids are ready they are ready. You can't force the issue in my opinion and when you do it leads to more accidents. Just my two cents, and I do feel your pain. If I could of had a choice he would have been out of diapers much sooner.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Hi FB,

As far as I know, there really aren't any 'corrections' for the 'accidents and deliberate misses' you have asked about. But in regard to the cleanup, be sure not to make it a 'Mommy and Me' time. That is, remove yourself from as much of the cleanup as possible. No friendly chatting, no "it's okay" just "well, you're wet so you'll need to (get cleaned up, change your clothes, whatever needs to be done)" and then leave him to it.

You could try bare bottom, or training pants are great too. I know some people don't always believe this, but the point of not using a pull-up is so that the child A. feels the feeling of wetting themselves, being wet, having wet clothes and B. so that the child IS inconvenienced at times in having to change. After all, the 'reward' intrinsic to listening to one's body's cues and getting to the toilet on time IS staying dry and being *less* inconvenienced by using the bathroom when the body is signalling it needs to go (instead of having to change all of their clothes due to wetting, etc.).

So, keep calm and carry on is about all I can suggest. I have worked with families where a child might use pants-messing as an attention-getting technique, but that's entirely another thing altogether. I do have strategies for addressing this if need be, so PM me if you do. Otherwise, YOUR reactions/responses to his messes will be important. When he wets himself, take him into the bathroom with a plastic bag and let him know that he needs to put his wet clothes in that. Make sure he has wipes to clean himself up that are handy. Try not to do too much for him, other than gentle encouragement, calm emotions during wetting and really, not too much reassurance that "it's okay", because if we act like it's our pleasure to keep changing their wet clothes, they may wet to keep up that connection with us. Instead, this is a time to disconnect and let him work on doing his cleanup, dressing himself. You could even put a towel on a low stool for him to sit on and leave the room, which is what I often did, checking in after a few minutes. (Use a plastic bin or basket for wet clothes if you are worried about asphyxiation due to the plastic bag.) If we act like the child *should be* capable, and that we expect they are capable, they will often rise to the occasion.

And one last thing: never ask "if" they need to go-- they will nearly always say no. Just a five-minute warning and a matter-of-fact "it's time to go use the potty now" is the best way to move things along.

ETA: my son didn't use the potty until 3yr4months. I had time to wait on teaching him... but I understand every family has reasons for starting earlier or later. If your little guy seems resistant, do wait a month and try. My son 'got it' in less than a week because we just gave him a bit more time.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.E.

answers from Wichita Falls on

If he is capable but not interested, what worked for us was a big boy (or girl) goal, something that they wanted to do, but only a potty trained kid could do. Our kids couldn't go on a special trip with grandma and grandpa until the training pants were off. Once that incentive was on the table, each of the kids trained in record time.
It helped when we moved them out of pull-ups and into cloth training pants. They were cheaper and less comfortable wet.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Instead of bare-bottom, I put my kids in undies, and just did a lot of laundry. I think its more unpleasant for kids to be in wet clothes (even for a very short time) than to make a puddle on the floor, which helps with the training. Having watched many friends go through potty training, I can definitely say that using training pants during the day dramatically slows the process ... which may be fine with you, especially if you are very adverse to cleaning up accidents. But, if you are looking to speed up the process, then definitely ditch the training pants.

As far as correction, I really don't think you need to do anything, except increase how often you take them to the potty. I always announced "potty timer" (I didn't use a real timer, just watched the clock and announced when it was time to go) and when the kids were successfully staying dry, I would slowly increase the amount of time between bathroom visits (and explain this to the kids). When there were accidents, we went back to using "potty timer" more frequently. That was enough motivation for mine.

This presupposes that your little guy knows how to poop on the potty ... sometimes that can be a separate issue.

Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

I have 2 kids.
With both of them I never used pull-ups.
I had a potty chair, that I kept in the same room as wherever they were.
They were bare bottomed, at home.
On their own, they went to "sit" on the potty chair.
In their own time, they did it more often, and then would pee in it.
In their own time.
I did not nag them, about it, nor did I time them. I was not rigid about it.
And they learned.
Without a battle.
Because I did not nag them nor put a "deadline" on them.
My daughter did so at about 2 years old.
My son did so at about 3-3+ years old.
And it was fine.
Each kid, is different.
Some take months... and some take just a few weeks or days.
So keep that in mind.

When my kids were bare bottomed, they did not pee or poop on the floor. I did not have to clean up.
BUT....pooping is the last "stage" of toileting.
And until my kids got to the pooping in the potty stage, they did it in a diaper.
And NO, they did not get confused. I simply explained to them, they and their body are LEARNING. And for naps/nighttime it was a diaper on them.
Nighttime is a whole other different, thing. And I had waterproof bed pads under them if the night diaper leaked.

I did not reward with treats nor punished my kids about it.
I just gave verbal praised. Clapping, high-fives, etc.
And that was enough.
I didn't make it a BIG deal, if they did or did not do it right.
They are learning.
Learning toileting occurs in time, and it ebbs and flows and there will also be times of backsliding. This is all, normal.
AND, ALL kids, have accidents. It is childhood.
No kid is accident free.

Then, once my kids had longer bladder control and was going on the potty, and could sort of hold their bladder when out.... then I put them in padded underwear. "Potty Scotty" brand, or the Gerber padded training pants underwear. I never used, plastic underpants or pull-ups.

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D..

answers from Miami on

Hmm... I get that you really need him to be ready for preschool by being potty trained. But he doesn't sound like he's ready. Without real readiness, it's just a lot of frustration.

I actually think that bare bottom won't bother him at all. He can't feel wet if he's bare bottomed. He can't feel wet much either when he's in a pullup either.

Why not buy cloth training pants? It's underwear with padding in the front. Know where to buy it and take him with you and let him pick out his favorites. That helps him be more invested in the process.

I'd let him be wet and uncomfortable for a little bit. Put a towel down to protect your furniture. He needs a chance to "not like" feeling wet. That helps him realize why we go to the bathroom instead of going in our pants. DO NOT correct for accidents. It will only backfire on you.

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M.C.

answers from Bellingham on

We did the pull-ups only at night too. During the day we did the training underpants. There was a mini-conference at our day care which is also a preschool that told uis that pull-ups are useless. The kids don't care of they are wet, because it still mostly sucks away the moisture. We did a lot of laundry and had a lot of accidents, but we found that a sticker chart on the bathroom wall and one M&M or Skittle was a great reward. When it came down to the last bit of training for my daughter, I bought an Elmo dress and taped it to the bathroom wall so she could see it as she sat on the potty. If she got ten stickers for poops, she got the dress. Our son was done potty training prior to three, but he had his older sister modeling for him. He just decided one day to quit wearing diapers. Does your son have older siblings to watch?

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

Please, pull ups should only EVER be used at bedtime.

No need to praise, just be matter of fact but happy: a cheerful, you made it! And then when you put the pants on, " they are dry!"

You son should easily be ready, don't listen to the no-Sayers, the rest of the world trains by 2. H needs some time to learn: 1, control, 2, timing, and 3, the habit of going. Need training helps with control and timing, you can help with the habit development by going before snacks, leaving the house, bed, etc.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

We did bare bottom and underwear just like Cynthia said, and did lots of laundry. I have told people this before, and sometimes get not so good comments, but this is what I did, because my MIL told me this is how she potty trained my husband, and it worked on him so we thought what the heck why not try it. I bought a jar, and a bag of those little mini candybars. I put them on the counter in the bathroom so he could see them. We told our son everytime he went potty he got one. Well, it didn't take long for him. For our 2nd boy, we ran out of pull ups, and my husband refused to buy any more. We were going on vacation, in the car. He said to me that he would handle the potty training. I'm like great go for it!! Well, we stopped every 30 to 45 minutes and my husband praised him all week long and he didn't have any accidents, even in bed. Just keep consistency going on when you make them sit on the toilet, and praise him for trying even if it doesn't happen. And remember it might happen faster than you think sometimes so be ready for that too. If he has any accidents just correct him and let him know what you expect but don't be upset with him. This is new for him too. Both our boys were potty trained around 3 years old. Good luck!

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D.J.

answers from Atlanta on

I know you asked about bare bottom potty training but I tried it and it was a big mess. To potty train my kid I used cloth underwear and put those plastic panties on top. No mess. I sat a timer on my cell phone with the huggies pullup song to go off every 10 minutes. So when he heard the song he knew it was time to go potty. Eventually he went potty alone

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K.H.

answers from Phoenix on

We never did the pull up/training pants thing. We just made sure that we were home for a few days straight with no errands to run and just let our daughter run around naked. We put her training potty in the living room (on the tile) so it was readily available and visible. The only downside was that for almost a year after she potty trained, she insisted on taking off all of her clothes whenever she went to the bathroom! Total hassle.

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B.B.

answers from New York on

When you say you have him in pullups, does that mean he just goes to the bathroom in them or are you training him and they are just used for the occasional accident? Pullups get a bad wrap because parents use them for a substitute diaper just to say "He's in pullups" because it sounds better than diapers. If he is not ready to potty train, put him back in diapers. When you are ready to commit to training, take him to the potty (which is in a convenient place) every 30 minutes for the first day and then you can gradually start taking him every 45 min the next day, then 1 hour the next assuming he is starting to get it. I am not a fan or being barebottom. I much prefer swimming diapers since they an feel everything but it wont be a huge mess if there is an accident. But don't put them on until the 3rd or 4th day when your child is actually understanding potty training. If there is an accident, talk about what happened, how it felt before and after and remind about the incentive for going on the potty.

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