Baptism- - Highland,IN

I think both of you should set aside your traditions for a moment and with an open heart pray about it and then study what the bible says about it. Are we baptized into churches or are we baptized into Christ? What does baptism accomplish? What requirements are to be met before baptism? Come at it from a biblical perspective and see what God has to say about it.

Would it break any 'rules' to baptize her at both places? I'm not familiar with Armenian churches but I was raised Catholic and this does tend to be a big deal for Catholic families. Sounds like your MIL is trying to be manipulative by saying the B. should follow the father... why would your beliefs be less important than your husband's? That's ridiculous... If you baptize your B. at both places, she'll be twice as blessed!!

cant you do both and let the kid decide- religion is a choice not a birthright

I haven't read all of the other responses, but I glanced at the last few that were posted advising you to baptize in both places. You cannot do that. Christians recognize ONE baptism for the forgiveness of sins. You can baptize in one Church, and maybe have a "name ceremony" in the other Church. I converted to Catholicism after being raised Lutheran, and I know that they will not just "sprinkle holy water" on your child. It's all or nothing. I think the most important thing to consider is which Church you will raise your child in? You can baptize the child in the Catholic Church, but they expect and make you vow that you will raise your child in that faith, attend mass, have he/she receive all of the sacraments. If you are not willing to do that, and your husband doesn't care that much, it would be better to raise him/her in the Church that you plan on attending and being part of.

Forget about your MIL and really think about how you want to raise your child. Do you or your husband want to take him to church? Some people think their religion means A) baptism and B) first communion or whatever the next ritual is and maybe some Holidays in between. And it kinda doesnt matter which Church for just those few rituals if you arent going to have them really learn about that religion. Personally I felt getting my children baptized was the beginning of taking them to Church and Sunday School on a regular basis and my church(Protestant) has a nice ceremony where they emphasize that this little one is joining our church family and ask the congregation if they promise to help and guide and cherish this little one. If one of you really wants to raise to raise a child in his/her religion that one should get to choose.

Tell your MIL the same thing my extremely Catholic grandmother told my sister (who's boyfriend isnt Catholic). The Catholic church recognizes all Christian baptisms. So even if you baptize him in your Armenian church, as long as they're Christian, it is fine. (our ex-nun nanny agrees, her husband is a Christian of a different persuasion and they're raising their daughter in both churches)

I would do it in the church of whichever of you are the most religious and attend church regularly and know enough to raise a child in that faith.

Do you both believ ein and practice your religions? It seems disingenuous for one or both of you to be so fiercely adament her unless you practice your religions. The one for whom it is more important should get to "win" here I think. If not, the two of you should take a step back and find a church or place of worship you both enjoy going. If relifion is not important to you, but baptism for the sake of baptism is, then why not find an Armenian Catholic church?

I am Catholic and so is my spouse, but neither of us feels very connected to the Catholic Church other than in terms of tradition. It is some of the dogma and most of the politics that we have an issue with. So, when we married, we spent a lot of time considering other places to worship. In the end, we decided we wanted a) to remain Christian and b) pass on our traditions of Catholocism even with our skepticism. However, something else that influenced us to choose a Catholic baptism is that a Catholic can practice the Christian faith almost anywhere, but Christians can not just become Catholics. This is a purely sort of practical consideration. We felt we owed our children that "flexibility."

PS - When you said neither is backing down, thought you meant you and your husband. But did you mean your MIL? This has nothing to do with her. As a Catholic, I totally get it - I have an Italian Catholic MIL and we aren't Catholic "enough" for her. But you both need to ignore her and think about the meaning of the event to you and how to practice your spirituality - and not merely the location and which family wins. At the same time, don't ignore any genuine feelings of your husband out of spite to MIL.

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What church to you attend regularly? That is the religion that you should baptize your child in. The important thing is that you have the child baptized, regardless of which religion, because when the B. is an adult he or she can choose for him/herself.

As other moms have said, you can baptize your child in both churches. I think the bigger question becomes will you be attending church regularly? If so, you should baptize your child in that church. Christian churches recognize any Chritian baptism.

Does he know that Catholics recognize any Christian baptism? Once you're baptized, you're baptized. Even if someone converts to Catholicism, they are not rebaptized. Which church are you going to raise the child in?

My girlfriend went through this and they did end up following the father as he is the head of the household. They came to an understanding that their children could be baptized into one religion but they teach the children both so when their children are older, they can make that decision for themselves on which religion makes more sense to them. She's actually turned holidays into real learning events to celebrate both heritages.

Ah, you just gotta love those meddling mothers in law, don't you? Haha. I was always under the impression that when 2 spouses are of different religions, the B. is generally baptized in the mother's faith. You may want to talk to some clergy in both churches for guidance or clarification. And tell your MIL to butt out now, or this will be the first in a long line of issues that she will meddle in.

I always thought the mom's religion was the kid's too.

Can you do both and decide later?

How about finding a denomination that you can both agree on and a church you both enjoy attending. Have your son baptized there. My hubby is Catholic, I'm protestant. We got married and both our children have been baptized in the faith I was raised in, but ONLY after my hubby went to church with me and said he felt at home there. If your husband is not a practicing Catholic, but you both feel religion is important, then find a faith you can agree on.

The Catholic Church recognizes all Christian baptisms. That being said, this issue is not going to go away after baptism. If you husband wants your child to BE Catholic, there will be CCD and/or Catholic school, communion, reconciliation, confirmation, etc to be dealt with. Baptism is the easy one, because it's the same for everyone... but after that, you're going to have to come to some real agreement because your child CANNOT be Catholic and take communion in another church.

It's probably worth seeking some counseling on this. Would have been a good idea before you had children (or even before you were married) but there's no time like the present! :)

T.

There was a time, before we actually had kids that I considered going the "both" route...but now I realize that wouldn't have worked all that well. Are you Eastern Orthodox as Armenian? I am, so I do know that it is very similar to Catholic and would allow a lot of overlap. Which church did you get married in? I would say that might be the one to go with for baptism since you already started there. We have some friends who couldn't decide so they agreed to find a whole new church to compromise. It worked for them and that is where they take their kids. He was Catholic and she wasn't and I think she didn't want to deal with that so he compromised. It's a really tough choice. Maybe you should talk to your priest alone and ask for advice. Obviously both priests will try and sway you to their church but I suppose you could both go and see if either of you are moved! I don't know, that's tough, I feel for you.

My husband and I are going to baptize our child twice. We will do it at my church (I am Christian) and at his church (he is Catholic). Not many catholic churches would do so as I had a hard time finding one, but i was able to find a church that would. I talked to my pastor and they were fine with it as well. So talk to your husband and see how he feels about doing both. This is between you and your husband not your MIL. Good luck!

As understand it not may denominations baptize at birth but wait until the child is older. The child is then cognitively able to process the concept of forgiveness and the whole concept of Christianity.

I feel for you and your husband and hope you can resolve this issue to both your satisfaction. I can imagine the MIL will always feel the B. is at risk by not being baptized but it's more what your beliefs are about the after life.

I was always raised that mom chooses religion. But that being said I know I will be cursed for saying so BUT do both. Even if you don't practice Catholism it is rather political. If your chd decides to become catholic then you you will spare a headache later. Also if you child chooses to marry a catholic then you have spared a headache. Do it for the "functionality" of it.

The MIL is saying two different things. She wants the child to be baptized and RAISED Catholic. I think that second point is very important. How do you and your DH want your child RAISED? I'd start there.

Maybe it would help to speak to the pastor that married you. That person might have insight to help you.

What church did you get married in? That is where I would start. This is your choice to make with your husband.

Baptize your child in both churches. I don't know what the "rules" are, but I would think that if both of you are of different faiths, you could baptize your child in both churches and teach both faiths to your child. Some people will argue that this would confuse the child, but that's up to you and your husband to decide (and not your mother-in-law).

Children grow up and ultimately decide their own religion, anyway (if they even decide to be religious) so I think that teaching your child both faiths would be the best way to go. Ultimately, it is about teaching your child morality and spirituality and being a good person (regardless of what faith you are), so focus on that as well and not too much on the "technical" aspects of which faith to pass on. Whatever you decide to do, good luck.

Here is a great solution.

Baptize your child in any of the Eastern Orthodox Christian Churches.

Culturally and aesthetically -- your Armenian heritage should feel some satisfaction.

Legalistically - for your husband's parents -- all Sacraments in the Eastern Orthodox Christian Churches are viewed as valid by the Roman Catholic Church.

Raise your child in the Orthodox Christian Church in America. It is in full communion with all Eastern Orthodox Christian Churches. You can locate parishes at the church's website. Find a newer parish and you are likely to find many people from backgrounds like you and your husband.

Later if the child ever wants to fully commune with either the Armenians or the Roman Catholics -- it should be a very simple affair. But at least you have given him a good foundation from both sides of your family's religious inheritance, culture and holy tradition.

Your Mother-in-law if she is really knowledgeable of Roman Catholic catechism will understand this. If she is less-than-knowledgeable, she might require some education on what the Roman Catholic Church teaches and believes. A good OCA priest should be able to help you negotiate the whole thing especially with the in-laws.

I hope this helps.

baptize the B. at both places, that will make everyone happy. An extra sprinkling of holy water and a few more prayers over the B. can never hurt!

The question should be why is baptism done. It is not to protect the B. from its sins. The child will need to grow up and decide if he/she wants to follow Christ. If you listen to the words during a B.'s baptism you would hear the congregation and you are responsible for raising the child in faith. Baptism is done to proclaim (not necessary) that he/she wants to follow Christ. Then the person is dunked (it is a symbol of Christ's death, burial and resurrection.

I hope this helps.

J.

What church do you and your husband attend on a regular basis? If you go to Catholic mass every Sunday, then to me it would make sense to have your B. baptized Catholic. If you attend an Armenian church on a regular basis, then baptize your B. under that faiths beliefs. One thing that you have to remember when baptizing (at least in the Catholic & Anglican Episcopal faith) is you and the Godparents are speaking for the child and agreeing to raise the child according to their faith and beliefs. Think about what you and your husband have been doing, as far as beliefs and attending church and discuss it from there. Your MIL just needs to understand, this is your B.!

All the best!

Simple...your child your and your husband's decision.