Bad Mommy: a List of 10 Random Things

Updated on November 21, 2011
T.V. asks from West Orange, NJ
26 answers

I'll preface this post by saying this. This is intended to be a light-hearted post. We are all moms, REAL moms and we all do things that we (and others!) may think of as being bad. Last night, my three year-old popped all the keys off my computer keyboard, and snapped my headphones in two. I'm a transcriptionist, so that keyboard and headphones is how I pay the bills. He went to bed at 7:00 p.m. after me going on a tirade for about 15 minutes (which is long time!). I felt so horrible about it afterwards until I read a list of the short comings of other mom's. So, leave your judgments at the door (pretty please!) and write a list of your "bad mommy" moments.

1. I yell. A lot.
2. My kids watch far too much TV, and it really doesn't bother me.
3. I don't read books to my kids and if I can get away with it I don't.
4. I don't play with my kids. I tell them that's why they have each other.
5. I pretend like I"m crying so they can give me kisses and hugs.
6. I say no because I'm to tired/lazy to say yes and vice versa.
7. There is no designated meal time in my house. We eat whenever and a lot of whatever, too!
8. My daughter drew a picture of us going to Sam's Club because that's about the only place we go, and other shopping establishments such as Home Depot, Wal-Mart and Lowe's (we just bought a house so there's been a lot of renvo's going on).
9. I work from home so my son is on auto-pilot for the day (refer to number 2)
10. I curse. I try to clean it up, but I probably don't try hard enough.

While I know it's oh so tempting to judge, but please try not to. Believe me, there are many, many posts where you can go and get your finger waggling out of your system. I know with myself, and probably other moms, I am very confident that my children are well adjusted individuals. It's just from time to time I have the foot on my neck called guilt and worry and it's my mommy curse. I pray to God that they don't wind up laying on a couch for 10 years out of their adult life because I let them watch Sponge Bob when they were little. But I am human, and I don't mind bearing my human short comings. So if you think 'thou shalt not let the child eat cake for breakfast' should be the 11th commandment, perhaps this post isn't for you and your prudent eyes.

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answers from Washington DC on

1. we eat out way too much

2. I deny my kids sweets to keep them healthy and then polish the ben&jerry's that I hid

3. I sigh loudly in frustration when my daughter says, "Mommy?" for the tenth time in 5 minutes

4. I have substituted tv for a book before bed because I can't stand the thought of reading Amelia Bedeilia again

5. I scold my kids to clean their rooms, when mine is covered in laundry and other junk

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I've forgotten when I put my kids on time out. 30 minutes later they'll be calling for me, I'll tell them come here and ask what they need, and they ask if their time out is done. Oops. We had apple pie for breakfast a couple of weeks ago. Apples are healthy right? I yell. My son's teacher commented on his report card that he lacks organizational skills (messy desk)...hmmm wonder where that came from? I don't keep track of how much money is in the school lunch accounts, so they've had to eat the dreaded cheese sandwich a couple of times.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Well, I do about half the things on that list and a few more. I would have flipped out and screamed at the keyboard thing too. When my 4 year old destroyed a car seat he got yelled at like that and he lost his Legos (his favorite toy at the time) for a month (all of them for a week and then he had to earn them back slowly with good behavior). I do believe in bedtime reading and family meals but then I have forgotten to do homework with my Kindergartener a few it kind of evens out. As long as they get some attention and the other necessities there is such a thing as good enough parenting.

4 moms found this helpful

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answers from Cleveland on

LOL Too funny!!!
Glad I'm not alone! The worst I ever felt was awhile back when I said to my three year old, "please go play. Mommy's really tired and stressed out" and he said "Why? because we are always bad kids?" I could've bawled my eyes out right there!
I always feel like I'm so bad, and other mom's never do what I do, or vice versa. Your post is great! Makes me feel so much better that I'm not alone!!

Here's some of mine
1) I'm also a yeller :(
2)Sometimes they don't get a bath for 3 days (yikes)
3)I "NEED" a few glasses of wine, quite often
4)Sometimes the kids get pb&j for dinner
5)My 3 year old watches ALOT of t.v.
6)I have started telling them Santa is now watching them, and there's a good chance they're getting nothing for Christmas
7)I spend WAY too much time on here and facebook lol

10 moms found this helpful


answers from Richmond on


In no particular order:

1- I have a lot of poison control stickers and magnets for a reason- the eyes in the back of my head didn't work for a long time.

2- The only family vacation we've ever taken are the one's we don't have to pay for... which means either being invited somewhere by someone else, or camping. We don't have the money to do fun stuff :(

3- I will tickle until they scream (and mean it)

4- I will jump out and scare the begeezus out of the the kids. It's hilarious... to me ;)

5- I make them eat ALL their veggies ;)

6- Sometime's, I make everyone go to bed 30 minutes early, just so I can have an extra 30 minutes of 'me' time.

7- I lose my patience very quickly.

8- I'm loud. Not like 'yelling because I'm angry loud', I'm just hard of hearing so I speak very loudly to hear myself... a trait my 8 year old calls 'embarrassing' ;)

9- I have been known to serve pumpkin pie or leftover birthday cake for breakfast.

10- I will kick my kids out of the house and lock the door during the summer, so they're not in and out all day, or begging out in front of the t.v. when it's gorgeous out.

Had to add one more: I let my kids make their own mistakes, even though I could warn them that something's a bad idea. Oh, you pulled the entire bread basket on your head? I guess you'll use a step stool next time. Didn't check the water temp before hopping in the shower? Guess next time you'll make sure it's not freezing before getting in. In your rush to get the condiments before your sister, you grabbed the hot sauce instead of the ketchup? Aww, maybe next time you'll take your time and pay attention.

So many more!! The thing is, this WORKS for us, and works WELL ;)

9 moms found this helpful


answers from Medford on

A year or so ago the question was asked, "how much tv do you let the kids watch?" And I was shocked at how few have tvs, and how little time they are on. I feel normal today! Or I suspect they all lied back then.
1. TV goes on when I get up, even if its 3am and cant sleep.(often) My kids didnt pay attention to it much, and are fine as adults now.
2. I used to yell when my son was little and realized it made my throat sore, gave me a head ache, my BP went sky high, and he didnt pay attention to me anyway. So I stopped yelling. Cold turkey. Much better now.
3. I grew up eating at the table with my family but my husband didnt so we rarely sit and spend a mealtime together. I miss it a lot.
4. I love the quiet time at bedtime reading a nice story or 5 to the kids. But I skipped pages of the books I hated if the kids werent looking.
5. Our favorite breakfast was and still can be left over pizza, cake, roast beef, pie, or anything else.Food is food. It doesnt come with a time clock.
Other than that Im perfect. (o:

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

hhmmmm this makes me think...

1. yelling when I should be talking. no excuse.
2. there have been a few times I've talked down to my kids - not my proudest moment.
3. letting my kids play too much XBOX...I am glad that I took Saints Row and Mafia away - Greg was a jerk after playing them.
4. taking Nicky's paci away (even though he was 6 years old) when he wasn't ready to get rid of it.
5. not giving food directly to the homeless people that Greg wants to help take care of. My selfish (and weird) concern is that I give them something that they are allergic to and then they sue us for pain and suffering. I know. I know. don't go there. I live in DC - what do you expect?
6. stopped my son (just today) for playing with the dog - because he had spent 10 minutes trying to pick out a movie - if not more time - and then decided to stand in front of the TV and play with the dog.
7. I've sworn in front of my kids. Not a lot. but not cool.
8. My worst mommy moment - not standing up for Greg in the 1st grade hard enough when his teacher called him stupid. I should have had her head on a I'm fighting the battle still.

I think that's it. I'm

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

You know, I can't recall ONE time my mom sat down and "played" with me as a kid. We rarely went anywhere other than the grocery store and K-Mart, unless you include spending HOURS at church every Sunday. We were latchkey kids.

I was the 3rd of 5, and I think I turned out pretty darn well. My oldest brother is a police officer, my sister runs 2 daycare centers & is a phenomenal mom, I have a license to teach secondary ed social studies & have 3 kids, and my 2 little bros are in college.

All that being said, I DO interact a ton with my kids, as I don't have a paying job, and I am far too much of a control freak to leave them to their own devices ;-) I don't love to do it sometimes, but I usually will drop whatever I am doing (unless I am cooking or doing other chores) to play with them or read to them if they ask me.

My major flaws:
1) I am disorganized
2) I yell far too often
3) I don't get enough veggies into my oldest or enough meat into my middle
4) I will let my kids color and eat snacks during church (insert shocked/judgemental face here)
5) We also do not have set meal times - lunch is when I am ready to feed you and put you down for a nap - dinner is whenever it is ready
6) My 2 yr old has memorized most of the dialogue from the current Caillou listings on OnDemand
7) My almost 5 yr old still uses a sippy cup several times a day (only uses an open cup when he is seated at the table and NOT tired)
8) I send PB&J to school with my son (they haven't told us of any allergies in the class, and the boy who had a nut allergy last year isn't at the school anymore)
9) I will give my kids dum-dums to suck on while I navigate through Whole Foods
10) I don't have my kids in any scheduled classes/sports/extracurriculars

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Milwaukee on

1. I hate eating as a family at the dinner table. It sucks trying to eat while pulling kids off the table, making them sit down, listening to them complain about what they don't like in the meal, listening to them bug each other. Spilling food or salt. I just want to sit and eat in peace.
2. Having to yell just so they can hear me when they are all screaming. Otherwise, I could stand there while they scream and ignore me for an hour.
3. Holding onto HUGE amounts of guilt over everything constantly.
4. Telling them to go watch TV when they are whining, hanging on me, climbing on me and fighting with each other.
5. My oldest plays way to much Nintendo DS.
6. My house is a mess and I have no idea how others have the time or energy to keep theirs any cleaner.
7. I need to take a nap everyday when the baby naps.
8. I say we don't have any batteries so I don't have to change them.
9. I hate reading books to them, especially the same ones over and over.
10. I hid all the games because I was sick of them dumping the pieces all over the place. Once they are missing pieces they are hid at the bottom of the trash.
11. I do give the kids cake or cookies for breakfast if we have them.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Although I find a couple of your points a little concerning, I think it's great to see a post like this once in a while. Sometimes when I read the responses or questions it seems like so many moms are "perfect". When I see moms worrying if 1 hour of tv per day is too much or their 2 year old can't count to 50 and doesn't know his ABCs or that the kids all sit at the dinner table 3 times a day as a family and eat every morsel that is presented I think "wow...I kinda suck". Maybe you can yell less one likes that.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

We don't eat veggies much. K will puke each and every time I "make" her try something new that she says no to. She does it in public with others too. If I want a screaming match and a public fight...try to make her taste something she does not want. How would I empower her to be able to say no to an adult if I didn't figure out it's just not worth it. She eats normal food so WHY battle over food. J, on the other hand, wants veggie for Christmas...swear! I was being goofy and talking about Christmas wish lists and was naming off goofy things so he would laugh about it and I said veggies and he lit up like a light bulb and yelled "Yea, I want veggies for Christmas". I must be horrible if a 4 yr. old wants veggies for Christmas.

I yell too. I hate it when I lose self control like that and raise my voice. I remember shaking and wanting to hide when one of my parents did because I knew a beating was soon to come my way. I get sick to my stomach sometimes when I think of the damage I might be doing. I try to let things go and realize their is a bigger picture, but still, all the keys off the key board would get me going too!

I like TV too. I watch way too much and watch shows the kids should not see. On Mondays I know I can argue or give in and let K watch Castle with me. She often sits in my lap while I rock and we have a good time. So what if she falls asleep after 10pm. Same with Body of Evidence. The kids got to watch TV their whole lives. I do have some restrictions, I can't stand Sam in I-Carly, or Shake it Up, they are horrible to their families. I also have to let the kids watch Sponge Bob only when I am going to be out of the room......eeeewwww, they make Patrick to dumb.

I let hubby do the reading to the kids, he enjoys it and I'd rather be watching TV after being out and doing way too many things in my 3 part time jobs.

I am feeling really bad about Christmas since we didn't make it to the Salvation Army to get the kids on the Angel Trees. They are going to suffer because I trusted my hubby to get the paper work together and sign them up. The girl is already crying all the time because I told her that we weren't going to have a lot of stuff, mostly another year without her getting her #1 wish of a DSI lite.

I feel like I am too old to be raising the grandkids but I know they are benefiting from having me parenting them. Sometimes I AM too tired to go do more activities. They have stability and continuity. They also have things they would never have with their mother. They have the benefit of experience, wisdom, and many other things.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Charlotte on

1. I "made" my kids wash their own clothes from the time they were early teens. My older son is off to college, so I don't have to think about the fact that he's got one clean shirt left, like I do with my younger son. But I DO grit my teeth and keep myself from washing a load for him so that he will have a clean shirt.

2. When he doesn't wash the clothes, and only has a tee-shirt with holes that he normally wears to bed, I say "why are you wearing your pajama shirt to school?" I think it makes me feel a little bit of control where I really have none to say that.

3. If he doesn't put his clean clothes away, but dumps them in a heap in his chair instead, I confiscate those clothes and put them in my room in a nice stack behind my door. I have told him that if he can't take care of his clothes, he can't have them. He actually is fine with that, not knowing where his clothes have gone, and not asking, because his clothes are SO not important to him. It's really frustrating to me, but not to him, so if 4 shirts and 2 pairs of pants and enough underwear to get through a couple of days is okay with him, then I just try to ignore it, though I admit I do tell him once in a while that I will NOT buy him any new clothes until he takes better care of his.

I am not perfect in so many things, but I'm only writing about the clothes in this. I know this is kind of a power struggle, but if he doesn't know how to take care of clothes when he goes off to college, he'll struggle more than he should have to. Sigh.


5 moms found this helpful


answers from Houston on

ahhahahahah....thats great

1.I second the yelling, lots of that here!, my mean mommy voice is fine tuned!
2.i second the t.v........p.b.s. is downright educational........especially "super why"
3.I dont censor the cable shows, i keep x-rated and gore out of the picture but i really dont see them emulating stuff like fight club.......or shawshank redemption.
4.Ive let my oldest try wine AND beer. She knows how to swirl, sniff and take two sips. (we are tasters)
5. I curse.......i really want to stop this actually.
6.I dont pay attention to the 3 and up, 5 and up....etc things on toys. I know what my kid can play with.
7. i tell them the truth about hot topics if they ask me.
8. I let my oldest look into religions that are not in my heritage.
9.I argue with my husband and flirt with my husband in front of my kids (its life, im not hiding it)
10. Sometimes i make them "go play".......i will watch that scary movie, or just relax without them. Thats why they have rooms.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

1) I swear (daughter (9) loves to tell her dad "mom stories" and they all seem to involve me swearing!)

2) I am disorganized about my schoolwork, and so is she, so we're working on that together

3) I let her stay up way too late on school nights - things just happen and all of a sudden it's late :-/

4) I then, see above, read a few pages and done! (her dad reads whole books to her at night it seems, so we balance things out there...)

5) we don't have "TV" but we have Netflix (same thing) and some days I'll let her watch several episodes in a row of a show that should be off limits for a 9 year-old...but hey, it bring up very interesting discussions

6) I let her pick what she wants for dinner most nights (but she does like veggies!) cuz it's just the two of us, so why not

7) Our small apt is a freakin' mess most of the time, just a few too many things to fit and no ambition to do a major clean-out

8) I still let her sleep with me when she wants to (yes, she's 9)

4 moms found this helpful


answers from San Diego on

Love your list and mine wouldn't be that different :)

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answers from Bellingham on

Thank you.. Just, thank you.

Oh, but I will add, my five and three year olds both said, 'f#%king hell' yesterday in a little chant. I'm pretty sure this little expletive came from my husband when he thinks he's out of earshot. I was so shocked I told them God Herself did not want them to say that. I happen to be a non-believer, but the children believe, and this shut them up.

I also tell them that there are shopping police and bedtime police, and pool police on the lookout for naughty boys. They must think there are police everywhere.

I serve the same five dinners over and over to my children because I know they will eat them.

I like your question.

EDITED: Rachel D and Lola N - I don't think the veggie ones are allowed!! That's being a good mommy!! ;-)

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

I love it! THANK YOU for making me laugh b/c I found myself nodding and say "ohhhh, how nice I'm not the only one" with all the stuff on your list! No judgements here...Any mom that thinks she's perfect is in serious denial. We need to stay sane and sometimes, it's by taking shortcuts...So if you let 10 things slip out of the one million, then as far as I'm concered, you're doing just fine...

1. I yell. I yell so much, that my toddler thinks yelling is the normal volume for speaking.
2. I skip pages when reading their bedtime stories
3. I don't play with my kids..I rather clean the bathroom then play with cars and Star Wars
4. I hide their Halloween candy and eat it in hiding
5. I put a limit to their questions...I just really, can't deal with all the why's all the time. So I say, no more questions after like the third one. And then I say, ssshhh, we're playing the quiet game.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from San Antonio on

Good post. I read an older post similar to this and most responses told her to get counseling! LOL I am glad people feel relaxed enough to be honest. I don't trust a person who tries to be perfect.

We eat out often. Sometimes if we are late, she eats

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Tucson on

I don't have time to respond right now, but this is AWESOME!!!

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answers from New York on

This was perfect this morning.. and I can remember being allowed to have cake for breakfast on rare occasions... I <3 my mom!! lol but here are some of mine...

1. I HATE to clean
2. I only bathe them every other day
3. we have PJ day when there is no school
4. they watch the news EVERY morning (they are 5 and 6)
5. I wish they believed me when I tell them they are going to get it

there are TONS more... but I would rather nap then type.. (or do the dishes lol)

2 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Hey - great post! You work so hard to be perfect but it's sure nice to see that we can't be all the time.

1. I've been known to yell VERY LOUD.

2. On days when he doesn't have school he definitely gets too much TV.

3. When he requests Cartoon Network (which he always does lately) I allow him to watch it although it's not particularly educational or age-appropriate and has too many ads. His new favorite phrase when he's pretend-playing? "Each sold separately". Sigh.

4. I just realized the other day that he hadn't had a bath in a week! :O

5. I absolutely detest pretend-play. I frequently tell him I'm too busy or I set the timer for only 10 minutes of play. I feel horrible, but all I can think about when we're pretend-playing is all the stuff that I have to get done - workwise and housewise.

6. He gets too much sugar in the course of a day.

7. I use dessert to bribe him to eat his dinner.

8. I buy him way too many toys.

9. I allow him to spend his allowance on junk.

10. I play a few songs in the car that contain F-bombs. One of those songs is among his favorites. I'm assuming it'll be a while before he figures it out!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

I love it.
1) I swear at my husband under my breath. I try to avoid doing it while I'm in the same room as DD, but I'm sure I've been audible more than once. In fact, the day he drove 3 1/2 hours to Binghamton in advance of the upcoming hurricane (arriving back at 9:30 at night), I know I was audible.
2) Breakfast for dinner happens at least 2x month at my house.
3) I don't yell, but I have the mommy annoyed voice, that says I'm NOT yelling at you, but I'd really like to.
4) We have bath time usually every other night, with hair every second time (she hates hair).
5) Bedtime is often way too late.
So much more, I'm sure, but too tired to think of them now.
Thanks for a post about NOT doing it right.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from New York on

wow, what an awesome post.
1. i am nervous about everything (germs specifically)
2. i tend to be controlling (as in what we do for the day, who we see, and who we arrange a playmate with. mommy gotta like the other mommy for me to survive the playmate)
3. i tell my kids like it is without sugarcoating. example: one of my kids was sick on friday. she asked how come she got sick? i said cause your hands are on your face all day every day :) and you don't use enough hand gel. hubs gave me the look on that one
4. i don't give in. dinner always involves vegetables and i don't do breakfast for dinner.
5. i am so happy we are out of baby stage. all the fake ooooouing and awwwiiing was getting exhausted. i would rather have an intelligent conversation, or play a cool board game than play horsie all day every day :)
6. i can't bake sugary stuff. i suck at it.
7. i am sad most of the time, and i try to hide it but my kids know i have a heavy heart

1 mom found this helpful


answers from New York on

I know that soft drinks should not be allowed to be given to my 10, 14, 16 year old granchildren, but since I know they love drinking soda and their mom does not serve any to them, I snick giving soda to them in the house. And, they love grandma.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Eugene on

I not only let my kids eat dinner in front of the TV, I suggest we all do.

I keep my favorite flavors of Hagen Dazs in the freezer and don't share with my kids.

I take a vacation by myself every year, and leave my kids with their dad.

When my sons forget their lunch, I let them go hungry at school even though they are gone all day.

I let my teenaged sons hang out with their friends at the local "mall".

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

1. We eat out waaayyy to much, when I ask the kids what they want for dinner, they always name a restaurant..

2. I yell and scream on a daily basis.

3. My kids like really innappropiate songs, with swear words. LMFAO sexy and I know it, is DS's new fave song.

4. I swear, I know I shouldn't...but I've stopped dropping Fbombs.

5. I'm a mean mom, my kids are in bed at 7:30 EVERY night, regardless of whether it's a school night. I need some quiet time too lol

6. My kids sometimes will watch WWWAAAYYY to much tv...and my daughter LOVES the real housewives series...she's 7

Wow, I feel a lot better now!

1 mom found this helpful
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