Bad Luck

I am 64. When we were kids, in the 50's, times were tough too. I remember mom crying when she had to take me to the doc, as I had a bad throat and needed a penicillin shot. It was going to cost $20, and that5 would have bought 4 bags of groceries. It does seem like things run in cycles, and when you have kids something is always going on. Have faith, the years pass, the kids grow up, and the bills never stop do they?

I sure think that luck is your state of mind. I myself have been feeling down because we have not been able to sell our house. I just keep praying for the lord to take this burden from my shoulders. For some reason this is where the lord wants me right now and I have to trust him in that.

Things will somehow get better. But until then just pray. Pray for the lord to hear your prayer and for him to take the burden off your shoulders. And I know you may not feel this way now but the lord has you right where he wants you.

God Bless,
Jen

As others have said, it is really tough for many of us right now.

Without knowing your details, it is hard to say what might help you the most. I know that when my husband was laid off I could not imagine how we would get by. It felt like we already lived on a shoe-string.

I was shocked at the savings by tweaking my grocery tactics, eliminating extra shopping & combining errand running. We cut our cable/phone/internet to the barest minimum. I have learned how to repair things instead of replacing them, I have learned how to ask or trade help with friends and neighbors.

In return, my family has been eating better, spending more time with each other and really coming together. Also we have gotten to know our friends & neighbors in a more personal way. It turns out to be a gift in the end.

I start my (particularly bad) days with this mantra, "Joy, Compassion". I will repeat it through the day to remind myself I strive to have joy in my life & show Compassion towards others. I try to have a good day in spite of what is handed to me. I try to find the "silver lining" of my challenges, and I try to remember that I am the one that holds the key to change in my life.

It is not always easy. I am not perfect. Try to hang in there. It is likely this is all just passing, not a spiral downward towards destitution.

It sounds cliche, but life is a roller coaster, you are on the down hill side right now, but your uphill is just around the corner. Try to take away as much positive from your challenges as you can. Use this time to figure out how you might be able to shift it to be a little different next time.

Hang in there sweetheart, you can always count on life for things changing!

P

I agree with jen...have faith. Things are tough right now for everyone, but you have hang in there. We have to make more sacrifices right now, but I know things will look up soon. Do what you can and try not to worry about things beyond your control. Work hard, maybe go back to school, look at options to help get you out of where you are currently. Stay positive...that's the key and keep God in focus. I had a lesson from God 5 years ago when my husband and I had our "five year plan." I would finish RN school in 2004, just as our third child was born, and within 3 years we would be debt free....well, God had other plans and taught us a very valuable lesson, Family first! Our son was born with a heart defect and underwent 3 open heart surgeries, I failed out of nursing school with only 2 classes to complete, with him being ill, I had to quit working, lost half of our income, which we were living beyond paycheck to paycheck, juggling bills, so ended up filing bankruptcy and losing a vehicle. I thought things couldn't get any worse...well, I couldn't get back into a nursing program until I was able to do it online and am just now finishing, about 6 months left. The good news is, we survived, my son turns 5 tomorrow and is a very healthy and happy child. My girls are healthy and happy and dad is not currently deployed. Yes, things will get better, you just have to have faith and keep plugging forward. There are many books out there with positive thinking. Check them from your local library if you have to. You just have to stay positive. I'll keep you in my prayers and I hope this helps, some...take care!

I can empathize with your situation. However, from personal experience, I can also tell you that "bad luck" can really be just "life," and life does happen all the time to everyone. The difference is in whether or not we are prepared for life to happen. If we are prepared, it is not devastating. If you start tuning in to Dave Ramsey (on the radio, or buy his book the Total Money Makeover), and follow his advice, your life will change dramatically for the better. He teaches how to get out of debt, get hold of your finances (instead of them running your life), and he inspires people to do better with their lives (earn more money), so that they can do more for themselves and not be slaves to the system. Things like budgeting and have an emergency fund for when life happens make all the difference in the world. Best wishes.

If you are a spiritual person, prayer is a wonderful gift. I have found prayer helps me get through rough times. If I pray about a problem and ask for guidance and courage to get through the tough times (sometimes it is a prayer every hour), I found I am more relaxed and better able to cope with my issues. Try to take things one task at a time, ask for help and support from friends and family, you may find the black cloud that is surrounding you may lift. Good luck and God bless.

Bad luck is a part of everyone's life. You just have to prepare yourself for it. If you will take Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University you will learn some priceless tools for protecting yourself and your family from "bad luck". I see that other people have advised you this as well. That's because Dave's approach is solid and will work for everyone, no matter your income. We have been following his advice for a year and a half, and things have never run so smoothly, financially speaking.

Hi Mai
It is the worst feeling to not have enough money to take you through to the next payday. If I allow myself to sit down and really think about "what if", I would be scared to death. When I was younger I would do things and live my life with hardly no money. When I finally started making good money I really didn't take the time to appreciate the easier lifestyle. Nor did I appreciate the good credit that I had built up. Now, I am back to no money again, but this time since I am older I tend to get really scared because I know what could go wrong. Back then I really didn't care nor thought about the consequences if an income suddenly stopped, etc. Having said all that, because I am older now, I take a deep breath to remind myself that this too will pass. It may not be right away but it will pass. My husband and I took a class taught by Dave Ramsey of Financial Peace University who taught us to live on a budget. I still do not have all this budget stuff down completely, but it has helped. I keep remembering a quote in the Bible "I have never seen the righteous foresaken nor his seed out begging for bread."
I have also learned that if you allow bad thoughts in it just mucks up your mind and at this point you need to stay as positive as possible. Hang in there and just know you are not alone.

Cindi

Good Morning,
I'm not necessarily a believer in bad or good luck, instead sometimes life just happens. However, I want to encourage you to speak life over your finances and any other situations in your life that seem to be turned upside down. I'm not sure if you are a Christian, but the Bible says that the power of life and death is in your mouth (Proverbs 18:21). Inspite of what it looks like decree over yourself and your household that you are BLESSED from this day forth!!!!

I see others have told you about Dave Ramsey. This program really helped us. I support it fully. He's on radio, tv, computer and you can find classes through church programs.

Hi, i just want to add that you said you always have bad luck. Well, if you can't find any (luck) around you , look in to the eyes of your child and see all the luck in the world. A child is not really luck but a true blessing. Think of just how lucky your are to share a life with them.. How lucky can you get. I also know how it is with the week to week thing. Your not alone. There are a hole bounce of us out here. Keep your chin up. God is in control of everything. If you fall get up and brush of the dust and wipe the blood if it is a bad one and then go back out there and keep pushing forward. Good luck. Mom of 7, R.

I read your post and just had to respond. I know it may seem like you are having bad luck but what I call this is just your season of hills. It gets a little tough when you have to climb hills. I will tell you that I am going through similar problems. As a single mother it gets rough when there is no other source of income. You know what - God always makes a way. God will not bring you to it and leave you, he will be with you as you go through this season of your life. You will come out better than before. Can I tell you how long this season will last, No. Believe God! When you think you are having the worst I will assure you that there is someone in a worst situation than you. I have been fortunate that when I have a pity party and get discourage, God seems to step in and show me someone with a problem much greater than I could deal with. I am handling pebbles when someone else is handling boulders. Be encouraged and continue to pray, you are not alone. Remember that God and you are the majority and he will see your through. You have a payday which is better than a lot right now, keep being faithful over what you have and you will come out. Be blessed.

Always talk to your creditors and they will work with you especially now with this economy. It will only be worse if you ignore them. I know it can be hard to talk about and maybe alittle embarrssing but more people are having a tough time now than you may realize. Keep your head up I firmly believe that things will start to turn around in 2010. I know it is a long way to go still but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there and I hope this helps!!

Mai,
Things happen all the time. I always find it helpful to look at the positive side of things. When the car breaks down think about if you were on the highway when it conked out you'd be in the middle of a pile up along with the broken car, not to mention all the hassle of causing an accident. As far as the bill collectors, if you have an old debt that has not been paid then you need to pay it at some time. The easiest way to avoid bill collectors is to avoid making the bill to begin with, if you can't avoid it work with the company to come up with a plan that you can afford and payit off in a timely manner. As far as to much month and not enough money is common. Look at your spending habits and see if you can cut down somewhere. The other thing is to make a budget and stick to it. My parents have had a pizza night every Saturday for as long as I can remember. We have continued this with our kids. The difference is my parents spend $30 at least, every week. I go to the store and buy the ingredients to make mine from scratch. I spend about $10-$15 if I need to replenish by flour and have multiple topping pizzas. If we just meat pizza I spend about $5-7. I also get 4-6 pizza's with my recipe where my parents get 2 or 3 pizza's with thier order. Once I was in a hurry and bought a roll of pizza dough, it's in the cooler near the canned biscuits and cinammon rolls. The family said it was good but homemade was better and next time they would wait for the homemade version. Also try to put some money away either in a savings acct or just hide it in the house. A friends father always hid money in coat pockets, jackets, drawers, envelopes or even under his matress. When he passed away they started going through things and found over $100 in his chest of drawers. Great things happen all the time, usually we are just not realizing the things when they happen. A great example is someone who is facing a health issue. How many times have you felt under the weather then felt better after a while? That is a good thing! Another good thing is someone extending a smile and hello during your day, a friend who just calls to see how you are. A child who gives you a big hug and says Mommy, I love you! A child who makes a picture for you to cheer you up. Look at everything and try to find a positive side to it. When you do that you will see all the wonderful things and things won't seem so bad. Good Luck and God Bless!

Mai don,t feel alone i know how you feel it has been nine years with me never late with bills but now rent,lightbill, all it is just hard. But hang in there things will get back on track for you and me trust in god. C.

I actually do have the same 'luck' that you do when it comes to never getting ahead. If we get a $500 bonus, a week later we will get a $495 doctor bill. I get SO upset! Unless you actually get a windfall it is hard to say that you can ever catch up. You will always be behind. One thing that I have started doing to get a bit ahead, or at least at some point have the money for those rainy days....I opened an acct that is auto debited each month. I started with $50 to make sure we could do it. I figured if we could not, I could always w/ draw it. After I realized we could handle the $50, I up'd it to $100. A year later I have up'd it again to $150. I am finding that if you have the money in your acct, you will spend it. Whether it is blowing it or just 'things' coming up. Try to set up an auto debit for as small of an amount you are able at the bank and then go from there. Also, any bonus or extra money you receive, pay off the smallest bill or bills. Then, take that money you would have spent on those old bills and apply it to the next smallest bill and so on. Eventually you will get your bills low enough to have a 'bit' of extra money. You could try to cut some things out of your monthly bills....cable, gym membership, etc and get extra money that way...or find a way to earn a little extra like a garage sale, 2nd job, etc and try to get ahead that way. Keep your chin up, it WILL pay off someday!

Besides financial bad luck, I have great luck with my family...I have an amazing husband and perfect children. Try to look at what you DO have and it will make what you DON'T have seem trivial.
W.

You are too young to feel that way. So work on staying optimistic. My heart goes out to you.Raising children is hard and expensive. Hopefully you can stay positive and not let your children see your desperation. You are their anchor.
Sometimes bad luck is poor planning. Homes and cars and other things need repairs and replacements. Sickness happens.Making choices and creating a different lifestyle for your family may be necessary.
What choices can you make differently?
I hope you get some relief.
Love R.

Can you check your local library for a copy of "The Secret" and/or "The Law of Attraction"? Having faith and thinking positively are part of the ways to get out a rut -- combined with action and focusing on what you DO have (vs. what you DON'T). I H. things turn around soon for you!