Babywise - Olathe,KS

Updated on September 29, 2011
M.R. asks from Olathe, KS
18 answers

My sister followed babywise recommendation with her son and he is a great sleeper. Overall a mellow kid. I.followed more demand feeding attachment parenting recommendation with my daughter who is now three. She was a rough sleeper, not much of a napper, still isn't and didn't sleep thru the night until I did CIO at 10 months. I have an 8 week old and Im trying to figure out if I should try something different like babywise, or just kind of stick with what I did before. A few sidenotes. I have a really hard time letting my child cry during newborn stage. It affects me very negatively :( my son is healthy, but does not nurse well during the day. He's kind of a snacker. He goes 4 hours, and then 2 hours, and usually another two hours thru the night and is much more relaxed nursing at night. I have a lot of milk and a hard letdown. Have tried to get that regulated. My daughter was milk soy protein intolerant and I'm pretty sure my son is too along with reflux. He's on zantac. The idea of babywise, is very appealing but it just feels so heartless when your baby is so new and vunerable. I would appreciate your feedback. I know from researching that this can be a hot topic but I would appreciate hearing your experiences. Thanks.

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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

Sorry, I threw this one down when it said that a 2-week old baby should be able to be put on a schedule...

1 mom found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Kansas City on

I definitely second the No Cry Sleep Solution! It's got ideas for all kinds of families and is very research based. Babywise is the only book the American Academy of Pediatrics has an official stance AGAINST. http://aapnews.aappublications.org/content/14/4/21.abstract

I've found that my babies have let me know what they need. 8 weeks is very young.

K.

1 mom found this helpful

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K.A.

answers from San Diego on

I've got 3 kids that I nursed on demand and attachment parent. I never let any of them cry it out or not get their needs met even if it was just to be held because they felt lonely and wanted nothing else. No 2 children are alike. My second 2 are better sleepers then my first was overall. My third shocked us to bits when she started sleeping an easy 6 hours at a stretch at only a few weeks old!
I did nothing different with any of them. It is all about the child's temperment and developement.
You did not make your daughter a "bad" sleeper doing the things you did.
I am very against all those sleep training methods. I could never imagine making my child feel like they can not depend on me for the things that they need!

6 moms found this helpful

M.P.

answers from Provo on

8 weeks is WAAAAAY to young for any type of "training" If you are just tyring to plan a head for when your baby is older, go ahead and skip this paragraph I'm about to write.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!? Why can't people learn that babies don't have the capacity to actually be "trained"? They aren't sleeping amazingly because they learned that it's night time so I must sleep. They learned that if I cry and cry then mom and dad are just going to ignore me. Everything i have read about Babywise is NOT for good parents. Just parents that want an easy way out of actually being a parent. Especially after what these other women have read.
As for your situation, creating an established routine is what is best for a baby. AND STICKING TO IT! You yourself DO NOT want to let a baby cry. For a very good reason. It is cruel and inhumane to let a baby sit there and cry when he/she is telling you that they need something. Even if it's just some loves from his mama. Don't ignore your gut feeling. It's there for a reason.

Oh and P.s. we all need to stop compairing our children with other children. My sisters kids were all great sleepers. My son NOT a good one because of all his stomach issues and ear infections. Each child is different. Learn about your child's "learning style" and temperament before you decide on going with a method.

6 moms found this helpful
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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I don't recommend babywise to anyone at any age. I just tuck my littles into bed with me and let them nurse all night if they want. We always get good sleep together. I put a side rail on my side of the bed so that we can use all of the space without worrying about falling off the bed. Please follow your heart on this one. I know the idea of a full night's sleep is appealing. But, for most mothers it isn't a reality at this stage of a baby's life. They really do need to nurse more often.

5 moms found this helpful

E.S.

answers from Dayton on

He's 8 weeks old??? No. I would never ever ever consider using "Babywise" on a infant so young.
Ok...I would never use it period.
BUT the earliest any ped. will recommend is 6 months.
Because it is heartless.
When your baby is crying-he NEEDS you. When you don't answer his cry, you break his trust.
It can have very negative effects.
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/crying-it-out-causes-brain...

http://www.drmomma.org/2010/02/sleep-training-higher-stre...
Your baby is new and vulnerable. He doesn't need some nut job's (Ezzo's) idea of good parenting. (This man is trained in...nothing parenting related.)
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/adventure-in-ezzoland.html

He needs his loving mama.

http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-cry-it-out

http://www.drmomma.org/#uds-search-results

HTH!

4 moms found this helpful
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P.M.

answers from Portland on

I bought a used copy of Babywise just so I could gauge for myself what value it might have. I did my best to stay openminded, but like PS., found some of the advice quite repellent. A baby has no capacity to learn its place in the family dynamics for the first several months of its life. Most of an infants' behavior is purely need-driven, and if those needs don't fit into a hypothetical schedule, then too bad for that baby, according to the philosophy of that book.

There are just enough "easy" adaptable babies and just enough common sense in the book for "success stories" to happen. But if you check the negative reviews on Amazon.com for this book, you'll see that many parents who really tried this system found it a complete failure, resulting in anxiety, misery, ans suffering to parents and infants alike.

I agree that Babywise, taken as a whole, is heartless at worst, unwise at best. Some children have reportedly died, and others failed to thrive and grow normally, from parents religiously adopting that system. I, too, would burn the book, but I keep it around so I can review some of the especially heinous recommendations when parents occasionally ask.

4 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Like Katrina, all three of my nursed on demand kids had very different sleep habits. I got one good sleeper out of three.

I think they are who they are no matter what you try. A crying infant needs it's mother, doesn't matter why.

You WILL at some point sleep through the night again, I promise. Babyhood is tragically short, comfort her while you can!

Least that's my point of view!

:)

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R.Y.

answers from St. Louis on

I have not read babywise, however I'd like to say after having three babies (the youngest is 4 y/o now), don't let your newborn cry it out. He is trying to communicate a real need at this stage. He has to learn to trust and be able to connect with you. Meet each and every need as soon as you are able. Now, please don't misunderstand me, it won't hurt him to cry every once in awhile for a short time. So no pressure on you if you need a few minutes to yourself or get get to him immediately. But he is too young to have to cry himself to sleep. When he is old enough to understand that it is sleep time and when both of you are ready then you can look into "techniques". Also, I think each child is different so it might take longer or a different method with this one. That's okay, because eventually they all figure it out. And this period of time truly is so short. Enjoy them. They really are only this little once. There's no going back. There's no freezing time. Try as I might....
God Bless!

4 moms found this helpful
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P.S.

answers from Houston on

I read the first 2-3 chapters of Babywise but had to put it down. I would have burned it in my fireplace if I believed in book burning, which I don't. I am all for freedom of speech, poor parenting advice or not.

I am a firm believer in cio but I HATED Babywise...still do and all it stands for. When that kind of advice gets into the wrong hands and is interpreted in the wrong way by someone like an insecure and/or sleep deprived mother, it could do some damage.

Babywise, imo, is for selfish people who don't want to change their lifestyle and put things on hold for their newest offspring. One of the main points they make in the first chapter is "Your baby needs to learn he/she is joining in an already functioning household which won't stop or change just b/c of the new baby". That is waaaaay too fierce and harsh for me. I mean, why bother having a baby to begin with, if not to enjoy the ups and downs of the baby's existence and contribution to the family?

I second the warnings that Babywise isn't for newborns - it isn't for any kid for that matter - but for a newborn, it could be dangerous. I was at a friend's house and she was all about Babywise. Her baby kept crying and crying but "it wasn't time to play yet" so she let the baby cio. After the 3 hrs was up (it was only about an hour after I got there), she went in there for feeding time, and found that the baby had fallen asleep in her throw up.

That is only one example. I'm sure I have plenty more.

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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

Check out Elizabeth Pantley's "no-cry sleep solution" books. Lots of good advice there for both your newborn and your 3 year old.

Sounds like your sister got a mellow kid and a great sleeper. It has nothing to do with her skill as a parent. She's just lucky. Kids are different. I birthed two kids, both raised with attachment parenting and cosleeping. My firstborn had a lot of sleeping problems. My secondborn did not. When my firstborn cried, it was in terror. If I had done CIO, I would have scarred him for life. My secondborn cried in irritation. I didn't do CIO because it's not my style, but I'm confident she would have done fine if I had. They're both in independent beds now.

Hpe this helps. Good luck!

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I read babywise 100 years ago. I can't remember most of it as I read it between babies 1 and 2 who are now almost 18 and 16. Anyway, what helped me was when they were about a month old and I got them up to feed and they cried when I laid them down, to let them cry a little bit before getting them up to feed again. For example, if I laid baby down and he cried, I'd let him cry for a few minutes, maybe 5-10 at first, then I'd nurse him again and lay him down. If he kept crying, I'd let him cry just a little bit longer before going in again. I have 5 kids and that helped with all of them. By the second time putting them back to bed, they wouldn't cry anymore. I also stayed away from all dairy while I was breastfeeding as my kids are all allergic to dairy and that helped a lot. Also, I nursed a lot during the day so that they could go longer during the night. This helped get my kids to sleep though the night or longer periods during the night starting at around 6 weeks. I hope that helps. Good luck!

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M.C.

answers from Boston on

HI!
I haven't read the other posts, so someone else may have mentioned this. I've used ideas from Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution with both of my children - both had refulx, were on zantac, and were frequent nursers (I think small, more frequent meals can be soothing / less upsetting to reflux babies).

My daughter wasn't the worst sleeper every, but not the best either. I started using the book when she was 4-5 months old, and it really helped her to learn to fall asleep HAPPILY by herself when she was ready and to sleep through the night eventually. As I said, she was a frequent nurser - I used to call her a "snacker." But eventually (around 9 months), with the help of some of Pantley's suggestions, she was sleeping for an 11 hour stretch!!!

My son has NOT been a good sleeper - until very recently. I didn't feel like he was ready for the Pantley book until much later than my daughter. He's always needed more cuddling / physical soothing than my daugther, and (although , of course, family members disagreed with me), my gut told me I needed to be more patient with him. Do'nt get me wrong - this wasn't easy. He's brought new understanding of the phrase "sleep deprivation" to my life. I started using ideas from the Pantley book with him around 14 months. (I'm also a teacher, so I wanted for summer to start.) It took ALL summer and most of September, BUT he is now, dare I say it, sleeping through the night without any help from me (no bottle, nursing, or rocking!). I

So.....the point I'm trying to make is that every baby is different, and it's probably best to go with your special mom instincts. I do think that Pantley's methods are very sensitive to both baby and mom / caregiver when you feel that your baby is ready.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

Get the book Baby Whisperer.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

I've actually read Babywise and I thought it had some good suggestions and some really bad ones. I wouldn't follow it very strictly, but I plan on using some of it's tips when my next son is born. Follow your instincts. You know what's best for your baby.

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A.L.

answers from Charleston on

I lightly followed Babywise for the routine of, "wake, feed, sleep" cycles. This helped me and my children stay on a schedule, and made them better sleepers, and happier babies. As for all the details in the book, I find them a bit extreme. I did do the cry it out, but not until around 6 months. Good luck!

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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C.C.

answers from Kansas City on

I had two children before the Babywise books were out (or I didn't know about them) and then two children later. I read the book while pregnant with my 3rd....used a lot of their theories and my last two kids were so much easier. I highly recommend the book! My first two were still getting up at night until they were about 8 months old, but my last two have slept through the night since they were about 5 weeks old. Good luck.

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