Babywearing Cons?

Updated on December 12, 2013
H.M. asks from Columbia, MO
15 answers

Hi Mamas!
I wear my baby all throughout the day. He's 3 months old and doesn't like to nap unless someone is holding him or he's in the carrier. He will sleep in his car seat in the car though and he sleeps great in his crib at night. When he's awake, I have him out, we do tummy time, read, play on the floor, etc. So, he's not always in there, but he looovvess to be in the carrier. I have a Baby Bjorn that I use around the house and an Ergo for when we're out and about. I've done some google searches and can't find any reason to be worried about wearing my baby this much. Everything I'm reading is pro after pro. The only con that I can find is that it's tiring for the shoulders and back of the parent who is wearing the baby.

So, here's my question to all you baby wearin' mamas out there, did your babies turn out ok? Any confidence issues? Any spine or hip issues from being in the carrier so much? I love wearing my baby, I just don't want to cause any problems for the future.

Thank you!

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answers from Reading on

Con #1: "He won't nap unless he's in the carrier. "
Con #2: "The only con that I can find is that it's tiring for the shoulders and back of the parent who is wearing the baby."

Big problem is that he won't sleep without being on you. And yes, my overly attached first born is still an overly attached tween who still doesn't leave my side. And yes, she wouldn't nap either. And yes, t wore her constantly.

4 moms found this helpful

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answers from San Francisco on

Babies like to be held, it's as old as time :-)
Of course you shouldn't do it to the point of hurting yourself, but your baby will be just fine.
I carried my three a LOT, breast fed on demand and partially co slept. They all grew into happy, secure, non clingy children.
Babies who are nurtured and made to feel safe grow into curious, confident kids!!!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Denver on

You're doing great! Relax, mama!
First of all, 99% of moms I know would tell you that at 3 months old, babies have no schedule, and just when you think you have something figured out, they decide that isn't going to work for them anymore! Mine, at that age, napped in the Moby, or the swing, or in the car if we were on the go. Or in a bassinet in the living room. Rarely did I put them in the crib bc the chances of them taking the kind of nap I knew they needed were slim. But I have 5 kids, and NONE of them sleep with me, on me, next to me, and they never did past about 5-6 months. You do what you gotta do to get through the day. That's it. You'll probably realize that by about 4-5 months old, he will be ready to explore his surrounding and will be excited by toys etc, and you won't need to carry him at home as often. It will be fine. Until then, just do what you are doing, let him sleep however he sleeps best. You aren't going to ruin him, and contrary to some opinions on here, you won't render him incapable of sleeping in a crib, either. He's just an infant, for crying out loud!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

Well, my back would have been shot, lol.

I never wore any of them for my own well-being. All that extra weight on my knees would have been very difficult and simply not ideal.

I did carry them a lot (I used whatever position was comfy for me and baby), but it wasn't enough time that it was uncomfortable for me. We did mostly floor time, etc.

Mine napped anywhere, so there is that. You don't have to worry about baby only napping being held, which would be difficult.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Portland on

I wore my son a lot the first year, less the second, and yes, hard on the back.

He had no trouble with spine or hip issues, but was also seeing pediatric chiropractor every few weeks since he was 2 weeks old, so that may have been preventative in that regard.

He was 'later' in things like sitting up, crawling (around 9 months) walking (15 months) and such, but I am not sure that it is wise to be in such a hurry regarding that sort of development. I should say that he was on the 'later' end of the average spectrum for these activities, I didn't worry about it. He always felt very cozy and safe and liked being 'up'.

I cannot say that confidence issues stem from babywearing-- I think that has a lot more to do with temperament and feeling secure within an environment.... I nannied for many families, some of whom wore their babies a lot, some which didn't, and saw the gamut of temperaments emerge as the children grew older.

So as long as you are feeling 'balanced' in how you wear your son, if you are ensuring he has time to "just be" in his moses basket, or on the floor... that he's not CONSTANTLY on you... I think that's what's important. My son was either in the pack or on floor pads (layers of firm quilts, not puffy) or in his basket and he did just fine.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Atlanta on

The only con I can see is that the bjorn carrier is not good for babies. It is a crotch dangler and puts a lot of stress on their hips. I'd put baby in the ergo full time, but other than that, baby wearing is great.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Columbus on

Just think about the kids in other countries who are worn/carried for the first 2 years of their life. They skip crawling and go straight to walking, and they are more independent than American kids!

My daughter was a very clingy and high needs baby, she was attached to me almost 24 hours a day, slept on my chest, nursed on demand. But now she is a confident little thing, more so than my older child who I didn't allow to be so clingy. Closeness at this early age gives them some kind of inner strength that stays with them.

As for back problems for baby or mom, I recommend the Moby wrap. They are more expensive but you can get them used and they are just as good. I could wear my son on my back in one at 4 years old and 40 pounds and it was WAY more comfortable than you'd imagine.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Anchorage on

I think that most pros and cons to this will be subjective. My only concern in your case would be where you say he will not nap unless he is being carried, are you planning on doing this when he is 2? Or will you stop naps so early? If he sleeps at night on his own then it may not be as big of a concern, but I would try to get him to learn to nap on his own. JMO

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

How is baby going of learn to sleep in the crib if baby is never in the crib? The biggest problem is that baby will come to need you to sleep. If you don't mind having baby sleeping on you until 2 or 3, go for it. I dont have that luxury, with multiple kids, I can't have a baby needing to sleep on top of me. I prefer just being able to put baby in the crib. I have a friend that has a 6 year old and a 18 month old. She came to visit me with only her 6 year old. They need two parents to put two kids to bed. I have three kids and a hubby that travels. And believe it or not, if you start out putting baby in the crib, baby learns to sleep by herself with little fussing by 3-4 months. There is then no need to sleep train or break habits.

I baby wear when I am out in the world. At home? Baby is in the crib, or in a bassinet when really tiny. As baby gets older, baby plays at my feet while I work.

Also, when they get to 9 months or so, you will feel their weight in your back. Wearing 25-30 lbs all day is tiring.

I carried my first all the time. She is still a terrible sleeper. My other two? I put them down a lot, and they self-sooth like champs. I never had to break them of any bad habits. Also, my second and third are way more confident than the one I carried. I think that stuff has more to do with temperament than baby wearing/co-sleeping.


answers from Santa Fe on

My first born was very needy and loved being ON me all the time. He had no issues ever and he's a super confident 9 year old now. But here is a major con - he got so big that by age 1 to 2 my back started going out. Back issues. Big CON. I couldn't do much baby wearing with my 2nd child. Luckily she was not very needy like he was.



answers from McAllen on

Sweet. My almost 3yo is fine. He still wants to be picked up to see things, but he seems to be fairly confident, which was one of my reasons. Also, I seem to be okay physically. I had a Bjorn that I only used for away from home. For a long time, until he was more than a year old, I only carried him around because I didn't know how to get a different kind of carrier.



answers from Tulsa on

I plan on wearing my next one, since I'll also be chasing around a 3 year old, but primarily just when we are out and about. I don't see any need to wear him around the house on a daily basis (unless I'm doing something that would take me from room to room). Home is where they learn and explore, it's hopefully a safe and clean environment for letting him be on the floor with an activity mat, etc. I'd be hesitant to wear him for naps, I held my son for afternoon naps his first 5 or 6 months, in the morning he'd nap in a swing while I'd do chores. It was very hard to get him to nap in his crib when the time came that I couldn't hold him for an hour or two every afternoon. If you're not concerned about this, then I wouldn't worry about it. You don't say how old he is, but soon enough he'll be crawling or walking and will be wriggling to get down and do some exploring on his own.


answers from San Diego on

I carried my 3 until they were just too physically big to do it. They were in the 3-4 year range before I couldn't do it anymore. Of course as they got older I didn't carry them as much because they wanted to walk, run around and play more but on longer days or heavy walking days I would still carry them.
As mentioned before, the Baby Bjorn is really not a good carrier as far as how it holds a baby and can lead to issues with their hips and spine. I always used a very simple ring sling so I could adjust how I carried them throughout the day.
All 3 of my kids slept anywhere and everywhere. We could easily take them out of their carseat when we got somewhere, put them in the sling and they'd continue to sleep. They also slept perfectly well in their crib, the moses basket in the living room, on the floor on a blanket, in the stroller and anywhere else we put them to sleep. They never did become dependent on sleeping in the sling. With that said, they did sleep better in the sling when we were out in loud crowds or busy activities which was better than them not taking a nap at all.
I wish I had had the sling when my oldest was really little. He was such a fussy baby that needed to be held a lot, would have saved my arms and I would have gotten so much done. I didn't get the sling until he was closer to 7 months old or so.
All 3 of my kids can now put themselves to sleep quite well without needing to be worn. Would be hard seeing as they are 12, almost 10 and 4.5 and the size of nearly a 6 year old!
I am glad I discovered the sling! I will be saving them for my future grandchildren to give to my kids when they become parents.


answers from Los Angeles on

My second baby needed to be worn a lot in the first three months. It was trying on my physically and because I couldn't get anything done or get a break from the baby. My third is needing to be worn even more and well into month 4 at this point. I find it takes its toll on me physically and psychologically. But if you aren't personally struggling with your lack of mobility, then I would not worry too much. But I can tell you that 17 lbs. is the end of it for the bjorn. But my now 3.5 year old who I wore all the time is just fine and sleeps on her own well. We did ergo though and bjorn less than 5% of the time we carried.
As for moms who say you will create bad sleepers; don't put much stock in that. If you are doing this for you and baby is perfectly fine sleeping in the crib, then I would think you may have issues, but some babies just plain will not sleep on their own and wearing is survival for everyone. Do what you need to do.



answers from Harrisburg on

I still wear my children sometimes (3&1/2 and almost 2) and definitely did when they were infants. Baby bjorn's and simlar styles hold the baby in an unnatural position which is not good for the hips. Ergos as implied in the name are ergonomic and allow a natural position. Also bjorn's put all of the weight on lo crotch hence the nn "crotch danglers". I also liked a moby when they were smaller. Ergos are great for discretely bf too, as lo gets bigger you just lower the hip band. You're doing great mama!
Also forgot to add attachment parenting is shown to
Produce happier more confident children

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