Babies don't HAVE wants. A want is an optional thing. They have needs.
I agree with the others, you're placing expectations on your baby that are years ahead of where he is. Like he's 2 instead of 8mo. ALTHOUGH that means you're still doing better than my H. His expectations were typically 5-10 years ahead of where reasonable ones would be.
My husband came from a VERY abusive upbringing. He tried/tries his best.. but it REALLY colors his judgement. For example:
- That out 11 DAY old, should understand that crying annoys adults and not to do it in public or when he was trying to "concentrate", and therefor crying should be punished. OMG... almost divorced on the spot over that one.
- That a 1 year old should be able to take a bath by themselves (came home and found my husband working out and our son out of sight and hearing in a bath up to his shoulders).
- That a 2 year old should be able to walk to the park across a busy street and stay there on his own.
The list goes on. It makes sense to HIM, because that's how he was raised. His sister was born 10 months after him, and HE raised her. Gave her her baths from the time she was 6 months old (he was only a wobbler himself, just over a year and a half), fed her, changed her, took her to the park ALL DAY, the list just goes on and on.
So when he became a father he split in two ways: 1) he started reacting to our son the way he reacted to his sister, aka, like a toddler and 2) placed the same unreasonable expectations on our baby his drug using parents had put on him. He didn't WANT to be like his parents, but since he wasn't beating HIS baby, or locking him in the basement for weeks with a giant container of ramen as his only food source, etc... he didn't see how an adult raising a baby the way a toddler would was still completely and totally abusive/neglectful.
It took my husband a LONG time to realize his expectations were just plain wrong. An ELEVEN YEAR old can realize that throwing a fit is distracting (honestly, so can a 5yo, but an 11 year old has the maturity/ impulse control to be able to step back and look at how their actions effect others, a 5 year old just tries to be "good", but still loses it when they're tired/hungry/scared/upset), but not an 11 month old, much less and 11 day old.
I would strongly suggest auditing a developmental psychology course at your local CC (to find out what is age appropraite), or to look into parenting classes through your local hospital. NOT because you're a bad parent, you're not. Not at ALL, it's very obvious you love your wee one with all your heart and want the best for them... but to learn, again, what is age appropriate, and how to cope/deal with what is age appropriate. :)