Baby Won't Stop Crying!!!

Updated on September 18, 2016
T.M. asks from Toledo, OH
19 answers

I am going out of my mind, it just started this week but When my 10 wk old is awake he is crying. I don't know what to do anymore, he cries most of the day. The Dr says there is nothing wrong with him. He has been eating 2 oz. every 2 1/2 hrs, which is a change from his 4 oz every 3 hrs. He won't sleep at night anymore and I am married to a man that won't help me at all!!! He has never changed a diaper or even held him. I give him zantac, gripe water, gas drops and he is on nutramigen formula. They say babies only cry for a reason, but what I can't figure out is what am I doing so wrong that he is NEVER happy. If anyone has any advice I would appreiate it, otherwise I am going to end up in a padded room soon!!!!!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your advice and support!!! He is still crying, but not quite as often. I got one of the ocean wonders things for the crib with the different noises, He likes to be in his crib now. I also failed to mention that he started all of the crying he had just had all of his shots for the month, I just did not know that the effects would last for 4 or five days. Thank you all again, I put all of your advice to good use.

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J.N.

answers from Dayton on

Hi, Please go borrow from the library on take the class in Happiest Baby on the Block. You also might want to try a Chiropractor. I use one in Enon that is awesome. If you have any more question please email me at ____@____.com.

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M.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

Maybe your baby has a sensitivity to formula. You might consider bringing your milk back in. Talk to a Lactation Consultant or La Leche League leader to get help with this. Also, I would get a baby sling. There are many on the internet. My favorite kind is a baby wrap. I use the Sweetpea Wrap on www.wearsthebaby.com . I would put your baby skin to skin as much a possible and carry him in a sling as much as possible.

Also, please get help for your marriage. Nothing puts a strain on a marriage like feeling like you are doing it all. Seek out a marriage counselor or good marriage book. Sit down and have a serious talk with your husband. I know it's hard and he may get defensive, but you have to address this. If you don't, you will likely end up divorced. I know from experience. I did get divorced. I am now remarried to a wonderful man, but I do have regrets that I didn't work harder on my first marriage. Now, I share my 6 and 3 year old. I have to send them back and forth every few days. I feel guilty that they don't have a stable home.

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K.E.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi T.:( I can feel your pain! My son also cried all the time for no reason and they kept telling me nothing was wrong. I had to hold him all day and continuely bounce even while he slept. I used to cry, I can remember throwing a bottle against the wall.( that of course exploded all over the place and was just something else I had to do). No one else can understand how bad it sucks unless they have been there. Colic is something that lasts for a couple hours, NO this was all the time!!! Your just going to have to try any advise people give you until you can come up with something even if it just gives you a little piece and quiet. I had no help either. I had bought this cd off the internet for colic babies. It played a continous sound of a lawnmower running. (white noise) I would put him in his swing or find something he likes and would play the cd but you have to play it loud! The sound was rather unpleasant but it didnt matter as long as he wasnt crying. I even brang it in the car cause every time the car would stop he would cry. The best advise I can give you is to look up colic advise on the internet and just try them one by one. I thought it was never going to end but it does! I'm 30 and a stay at home mom also, so if you want someone to talk to let me know and i can give you my #. K.

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D.H.

answers from Cincinnati on

I know this sounds werid but i just had a conversation with my Chiropractor about baby's that keep crying for no reason. I have an 8 week old and I was telling him how she only cries when she needs something. He told me I was lucky...some babies cry all the time and how chiropratic medicine can help. Were you in long labor or his head a little misshaped(perfectly normal from being pushed through the birth canel)? He said he has told mothers to gentle pull the ear of the high side of the head. That some times there can be inner ear preassure in the ear canel from child birth especially in long labor due to the babies head being pushed on so hard. Or if the head of the baby is not round when it is born to make it through the birth canel it can cause inner ear pressure which cause pressure behind the eyes and sinus. So maybe try a chiropator. Also messaging the feet and hands or a warm bath helped my first when she just won't stop crying for no reason. One last thing and it's a saying I live by regard your husband...you define how you are treated by what you are willing to accept. I personally would raise a stink before I would let my husband not be involved including changing daipers.

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M.F.

answers from Columbus on

Hi T.. My friends baby had this similar problem. Then she purchased a vibrating infant seat...and this soothed him tremendously. This product is called: Fisher Price Infant to Toddler Rocker, and Bouncer and Playard. They cost about 40.00 and are priceless. I would try that out hun. The seat keeps the baby semi-upright, while soothing him with gentle vibrations, and the baby can be rocked as well. My friend tells me that her baby cries less now and she & the baby are actually sleeping now!

Blessings,
M.

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M.S.

answers from Columbus on

It could be a number of things. Maybe it's colic? It usually starts around your son's age and having a sensitivity to formula could be the culprit. You may have to switch formulas a few times before you see any relief, and it also takes up to a week to see any results. Also, babies are extremely sensitive. Your son is picking up on your stress and your husband's lack of help. I was in a similar boat and trust me, it's not worth it. You may not think anything of it, but your baby is very close to you and can pick up on your emotions whether you out right show them or not.

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R.S.

answers from Toledo on

well first r u sure he is not constipated i just had a newborn and he to would cry all the time for nothing every time he ate i would give him mylicon(gas drops) and put kryo syrup(white) in his bottle after burping him for longer than normal walking with him and singingto him he stopped i think he just grew out of it also when ever he finally did fall asleep during the day i would put him to sleep on his stomach even though they say not to he would sleep longer but i made sure i always kept an eye on him and on his side at night but once u find out ho to make him happy keep at. dont lose control give it a while he will grow out of it dont stress they sense that and that will make him cry dont force nobody to care of the baby if they dont want to not even your husband u never know qhat could happen if u know u wont hurt ur baby u take care if him hes yours and he is worth it. babies r a gift from god

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K.D.

answers from Cincinnati on

I am so sorry to hear about your little one. My first born was colicky and it lasted until she was about 3.5 - 4 months old. It was the worst, most difficult time of my life. I will tell you that you NEED help!! Your husband needs to step in and help you. You need a break from the crying so when your husband is around he needs to help. And if he won't, then you need to find someone in your life who you can call to come over and just hold the baby for you and give you a break. It is so important right now and I really do not feel that you can do this alone, you need help from someone. At times when I couldn't get my daughter to stop during the day and I felt very frustrated, I would take her and put her in her crib, and walk outside (or anywhere that you can not hear the crying) for about 5 minutes. It gave me a chance to calm down and then return to her a little refreshed and ready to work again. She was fine to cry for 5 minutes and she was safe because she was in her crib where she couldn't get hurt (no animals, blankets, etc in the crib) As far as formula goes, we were on 5 different formulas with her. We switched to Good Start formula. I was very worried about using it because it was not one of the big name formulas, but she took it instantly and it seemed to help a little with the crying. Don't get me wrong, she still cried, but it helped a little. We also used rice cereal in her bottles, but she had severe constipation which worsened with the cereal, so we stopped the cereal. She was on Zantac as well because they were sure she had acid reflux. She went through an upper GI as well as a number of other tests. We went to the feeding team at Children's Hospital for the first three months of her life because she would not eat. She would act as if she was hungry, you would put the bottle in her mouth, she would take about an ounce and then push it out and scream and cry. She had an upper endoscopy and everything looked fine and by that point she was about 3.5 months old and was starting to get better each day. So, to this day, we still do not really know why she cried so much, but it did end. I feel your pain, I know what you are going through and it is horrible, but it will end. A baby only knows how to communicate by crying and your baby just has a lot to tell you. That is what I told myself everytime I would get frazzled. It will END! Keep checking with your doctor if you are really concerned that something is wrong and if a formula isn't working then try another and sometimes the big name formulas aren't the only option! Nutramigen didn't work for us, so we switched even though the doctor didn't tell us to. Do what you think is best for your baby, it is the only thing you can do. And finally, please get some help. If your husband isn't going to help you, then find another who will, a friend, relative, or someone that you trust. You need those breaks!! Good luck and remember that it will end!!!

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T.W.

answers from Cleveland on

T.,
I see that only a couple of other moms touched on the husband thing. If I may be so blunt, kick that idiot to the curb. I can't believe that he won't even hold his child. Can you talk to his ex-wife? Maybe she can give you some isight. Really, I would try and work it out with him, see a therapist, or just sit down and explain to him that you can't do this by yourself. If that doesn't work, then kick him to the curb. Glad to hear that he's not crying as much. My daughter was colicy for a few months and we used these homeopathic pills, that just melt in their mouth. They're kind of expensive, but well worth it. What about nursing, did you? Best wishes to you and your baby.

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B.M.

answers from Columbus on

I remember helping my aunt out with her first born. He did the same thing your child is doing. We tried it all until her mom (a nurse at OSU) said we should take him to a Chiropractor to massage and manipulate him. Since that day he has not seemed what we thought "Cholic" even though the doctor said he wasn't. Try it it might work. I know we took Caiden to Granger Chiropractic off McNaughten in Reynoldsburg/Columbus. Around the holidays they run specials for around $38. It is worth a try:) Good Luck

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A.W.

answers from Mansfield on

You have a lot of long responses here, so I'll be short and sweet. Get a copy of "The Happiest Baby on the Block" -- my son wasn't colicky, but he had his moments of crying for what seemed like no reason and the techniques in this book worked!! Also, take the other ladies' advice and take a break!! Even if it's just for 5 minutes, but try to get a sitter and get an hour or two (atleast) per week!!

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C.

answers from Cleveland on

Dump the husband. In this day and age you should not have to raise your son by yourself. Check again with your pediatrician or change doctors if he won't help. Maybe Zantac wasn't the right medicine for your son. Mine used prescription Pepcid and was on normal formula. My doctor always told me to not let my son "snack" get them naked to keep them awake during feeding if you need to. Also, our doctor recommended that we put a teaspoon of rice cereal in his bottle at night and this helped tremedously! Good luck!

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R.F.

answers from New York on

I could be colic or just the tummy gas. Try to settle your baby by putting him on Babies magic tea. It's an organic formula for newborns that's safe and preservative-free.

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M.K.

answers from Cleveland on

T. take that baby to rainbow babies and get a second opionion they will figure out why he is cryin like that they did it for my 5 mo old just a wk ago

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M.

answers from Cincinnati on

Updated to add:

I saw your update and am *so* glad that Benjamin is crying less! Yes, one of the many possibe side effects of vaccines is long crying jags. Supposedly it doesn't happen very often, but I think some kids are more likely to have it happen than others. If your little guy is on hypoallergenic formula, it means he's got a sensitive little system. The ingredients in vaccines that some kids might tolerate well, Benjamin might *not* react well to. If I were you, I would be cautious of vaccinating him on the current rigorous vaccine schedule - kids *can* and do have severe side effects and allergic reactions to vaccines (which is why they always get your signature before giving a vax - you're acknowledging that you understand the risks and are ok with them, won't hold the doctor at fault if there's a reaction). Reactions might not be common, but they do happen. My son (10 months) also has a sensitive little system, but my daughter (3.5 yrs) did not. We vaccinated our daughter on schedule, but with my son we are doing it more gradually - specifically, we only do 1 shot at a time (not 4 in one visit) and only if he is 100% healthy. That way, *if* he has a bad reaction, we know which shot caused it and then we can avoid it in the future or delay it for a few months/years until his system is more mature and hopefully less sensitive.

Just wanted to let you know that almost all doctors will continue to suggest vaccinating on schedule and will really, really push you to do so -- but there are risks BOTH ways, to vaccinating AND to not. But with babies who are more allergic at such a young age, I personally think the risks of vaccinating are increased, so that's why we have decided with our son to take it a little more selectively and slowly with the vaccines. NOTE: Obviously, you should make your own decisions as to how much risk you feel there is, and do what is right for your son and your life (daycare or not? travelling to 3rd world country or not? etc., etc.).

Some people do not vaccinate at all based on their individual child, while others might spread out/delay or choose only certain shots, while still others will vaccinate on schedule with all shots. All of these are fine choices as long as the decision is an informed one. I am *not* advocating that nobody vaccinate - just stating that each of our kids is unique and vaccination can be done in a way that is tailored to each child (instead of the rigid "one-size fits all" approach). We're still getting a good number of the vaccines done, spread out over more time (like first 5 years instead of so many shots all at once over the first 1-2 yrs).

If you want to read more informaton, here are 2 good sites - both are well-known pediatricians who support vaccination...

The whole article is great as it informs about each illness that each vaccine is supposed to prevent, but definitely also read the section called STANDARD RECCOMENDED SCHEDULE and see "Spreading out the shots and decreasing the number of injections":
http://askdrsears.com/html/8/t085200.asp

Dr. Jay Gordon's article "Vaccinations Today":
http://drjaygordon.com/development/pediatricks/vacctoday.asp

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I really feel for you - it's sooo hard when you see your baby so unhappy & uncomfortable, and it is *really* draining to be the mom who is constantly giving 24 hr care to a high needs infant without any help from her partner. Big, big hugs to you!!!

Trust your mama instinct "something feels like it's not right" and take your pediatrician's "nothing wrong with him" statement with a grain of salt. Many pediatricians miss food allergies in babies - and I see your son is already on Nutramigen so allergy is already a suspected reason for his upset, right? Well, reading here:
http://www.meadjohnson.com/professional/products/nutramig...

I see that Nutrimagen has lots of corn in it:
http://www.meadjohnson.com/professional/products/nutramig...
"The carbohydrate blend in the powder is 86% corn syrup solids and 14% modified corn starch."

If your son is allergic to corn, Nutrimagen would be AWFUL for him. Corn is one of the more allergenic foods:
http://askdrsears.com/html/4/t041800.asp#T041805

Does he still have any of these signs of food allergies?
http://askdrsears.com/html/4/t041800.asp#T041803

I saw another mom on here suggest that you try to relactate (get your milk to come back in) and breastfeed him. I agree with this, especially given your son's high level of discomfort (and how challenging it is to care for a baby who is hurting so much). He's still really uncomfortable on hypoallergenic formula!!! Unless you are medically or psychologically unable to do so, please please try to give the poor guy breastmilk which is ideal for him (human milk for human babies). Getting your milk to come back in and getting him on the breast is certainly possible since he's only 10 weeks old, and it would require work, support (from professional IBCLC lactation consultant and/or LLL leaders), determination, and commitment from you to do it. But it would be absolutely worth it to your baby's health and happiness (AND to your health and happiness, actually - reduces your rate of several cancers including breast cancer, and the longer you do it, the more protective the effect). Trust me when I say that it is SO much easier to parent a baby who is NOT reacting to a food allergen. I've been there, too.

My son was extremely fussy, wouldn't sleep unless held and even then it wasn't restful for him because he was just in physical pain, crampy, gassy, mucousy and bloody stools, had awful red rough eczema all over his face, neck, and shoulders, and cried a lot. I knew something was wrong. My ped offered meds for reflux, but I did some research and asked my ped about possible allergy to cow milk (even through my breastmilk, as I was and am still breastfeeding). Turns out that when I stopped all products w/ any form of cow milk in them, my son transformed into a happy baby. Slept for hours in a row, and soundly. Clear, creamy, soft skin. Normal poops. It was an ENORMOUS relief. And he's now 10 mos old and we're still going strong w/ breastfeeding, gradual intro of solids, and still dairy-free (both of us).

Anyway... I really empathize with your little guy and with you. Do get a good baby carrier (many options available on wearsthebaby.com, peppermint.com, theportablebaby.com, etc.) which will at least help sooth him while you're trying to figure out what's causing his pain. Hang in there! And please research "induced lactation" or "relactating" - here are some good starting points:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/adopt/relactation-resources.html
http://www.euro.who.int/document/e56303.pdf

If you take it step by step, surround yourself with supportive people (they're out there), and realize that the hard work is temporary but the payoff is HUGE (happier, healthier baby AND mom!), you *can* do it.

Best of luck to you guys!

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K.I.

answers from Cincinnati on

T.,
You have my utmost sympathy! This, too, shall pass. I could not tell from your listing, but do you HOLD your baby? Very young babies like to be held all the time, and it is good for them. I had one of those baby slings and basically never put my little ones down. It makes them more content and allows them to sleep close to you. Honestly, throw the idea of "getting things done" right out the window for the next 6 months or so. Only do what is absolutely necessary, and spend time with the 5 year old and dote on the baby. If baby stops crying, you will feel lots better anyway.
I wish you well, and keep us informed!
K.

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J.J.

answers from Cincinnati on

T.,
Sometimes babies cry for NO reason, really. I totally sympathize with you. I think we all know how nerve racking it can be to listen to your crying infant and not be able to do anything to "help" (and later the whining will be just as nerve racking!)
It sounds like you are doing everything you can. Try to relax so your baby doesn't feel your tension.
If it gets to be too much for you, put him in his crib and go to a place in the house where you can't hear it for a few moments to collect yourself.
Hang in there, this will pass and you will move on to another challenging phase!

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N.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

Hang in there! I know you probably feel helpless and frustrated to the brink of sanity. Definitely agree that you do need help, to step out for periodic breaks, etc. Certainly don't dump your husband. Communicate very clearly and specifically what you need him to do (though all you may be able to articulate when you are really stressed out is "HELP!"). Even the best intentioned man often needs things to be spelled out. Good for you for reaching out for help and support.

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K.Z.

answers from Canton on

Just to let you know, my daughter had the same reaction to the shots her first round. I spoke to her doctor about it and they said some babies have more problems than others with them, my mom told me I was the same way too when I was an infant. The long and short of it is, her doctor cut her vaccines in half and only gives her half the dose now. It was the best thing ever, now you can not even tell she had shots done. Hope everything works out!!

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