Let me start off by saying that my daughter was a wonderful sleeper at night from her second month on. She would sleep through the night and only wake up one time, maybe two and then go immediately back to sleep. For the last two months this has all changed. My daughter gets up a lot more now. Some nights, its three or four times. But nights like last night, its eight times or around there. We do not know what to do and are very frustrated with this situation. We love our child very much, but we really need sleep. Has anyone gone through this? Also, I don't really want to try the cry it out method. I have read that this can be detrimental to a child's self esteem.
Thank you all for your wonderful advice. I am going to check out those books from the library to read. My daughter does not have any teeth yet, so that may be the case. She also is staring to cruise while holding on to furniture, as well as walk with a push cruiser. I do nurse her at night, yet she has formula during the day with her solids. My husband and I have read all of your wonderful comments and are considering all of them and looking at what steps we can take next. I should say that I am very fortunate to have a husband who gets up with me each night. Thank you all again. I will let you know how it goes in the upcoming weeks. we have her 9 month visit next week, so we will see if it is teeth or anything else.
My 2nd daughter will be 9mos next week; we did the cry it out method almost a month ago because she was still waking at night and having a bottle. It was a rough couple of nights, but she sleeps from 9pm until about 5am or later. I've never heard of this being detrimental; if you need sleep (I know we did), do it. She's too young to remember.
Good luck!
Use the book 'Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child' to get a good schedule down, even if you don't do the crying it out part.
I highly highly highly recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child". That book was my lifesaver. There is no medical evidence whatsoever that crying it out is detrimental to a child's self-esteem. There is evidence, however, the lack of sleep and disruptive sleep is very very bad for a child's development and health, as well as for the parents' health. Also, despite what a previous post says, it is absolutely not true that if you are nursing your child is not going to sleep through the night. I nursed both my kids for a year and they both slept through the night by 4 months. A 9 month old does not need to nurse in the middle of the night. Also, it is a bad bad idea to only give a 9 month old 1 nap in the morning. If you don't have her napping well, she will be overtired and unable to sleep at night. And if she doesn't sleep at night, she won't be able to nap well. It's a vicious circle. A 9 month old needs at least 2 naps a day. Good luck and check the library for that book!
Hi B.,
You'll never sleep a full night again...lol! It FEELS like that right now I'm sure. I can tell you I got up 2-3 times a night with my first until she was about 8 months old. I let her cry ONE night and it ended. It was (to that day) the hardest night of my life - I felt awful but was exhausted and knew she was "ok" - it really only took one night for us. Every baby is different. My second child slept through at 4 weeks and has been "easy" all the way...I totally feel for you. Maybe try a few nights (you're not sleeping anyway) and see how it goes. She won't remember this - only you will! Being a mom is the most joyful and painful thing all wrapped in to one...
I know this is frustrating. My son did this when he was 4 months old and I REFUSED to let him "cry it out" for the same reasons. However, this kept up for about 6 months and I hadn't slept for more than an hour or so at a time in that time as well. My son was not happy, I was barely functional, and something had to be done. I went to the doctor and had a very long, productive conversation about what to do. After my son had a complete exam to make sure there was nothing physically wrong with him, I went to Target, bought a video monitor, and let him cry it out. This lasted 3 nights, and on the fourth, he slept. I know its hard and doesn't feel right, but sleep deprivation is not good for him or you. A note about the video monitor.......I couldn't have done this without being able to see his every move as he cried. I had to know that he was safe. (Ticked, but safe.) Again, this is hard, but sometimes you reach the end and need to do something.
I think this is pretty typical for this age. She is probably teething. She is also more aware of her environment now and may be waking due to environmental things too. My daughter went though this and we did the CIO method with her. In less than a week she was able to soothe herself back to sleep on her own. She still wakes and plays in the middle of the night and she is 2 now. I think there is a difference in tending to the needs of a baby that needs you because she is sick or in pain and that of a child that is just seeking your attention. When my daughter was sick I was right there to hold and comfort her. She may be testing you, so deciding how to handle this will depend greatly on your perception of the reason why she is waking. Good luck
I can see that your daughter is 9 months old, has she started to crawl yet? It would be my guess that this or another milestone is right around the corner for you. I have noticed that when my kids were about to start doing something like crawling, walking, standing, teething, etc, their sleep routines would go out the window. It seems every time I have some sort of schedule for them, everything changes. My advice would be to keep trying to get her to sleep like normal, although she won't until she figures out whatever she's trying to do. And then she should settle into a new routine that -hopefully- involves sleeping through the night. Good luck!
Many babies have a sleep regression around age 9 months, even if they have previously been good sleepers. Check this out for more info:
http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006/02/qa_what_are_sle.html
I haven't read the answers you got and I'm probably being repetitive.... my son acted the same way a few weeks back. We found out he was teething and in pain, that's why we would wake up all the time and cry like he was being tortured. The same thing might be happening to your baby. Right now everything is back to normal, he sleeps 12 hours in a row. Good luck!
she is 9 months old? i would try three things that helped at different stages for my son (who is now 14 months). 1st thing, try some teething gel. every time my son would get a tooth, he would sleep poorly and then a couple days later, i would notice the problem (by the time you can see the tooth protruding, its been painful fora couple days), so just throw it on there before bed...the second thing, maybe she is going through a growth spurt. try feeding her an extra snack prior to bedtime, maybe she just needs that extra to get her through the full night. and the last thing, is....through every one of those problems us moms must go through, teething, sickness, bottles at night, this does remind your daughter that crying brings mom. i find myself going into my sons room, picking up the binky he flung across the room, giving it back to him, and telling him "its time for sleepy", then walking out the room. if it gets to the point of hypervenalating, or all the mommy sirens are going off in my head, and i cant take it anymore, then i go back in and pick him up. but, everytime we pick them up its remind them that we will give in. its a balance. dont ever feel bad for ignoring their crys nor for picking up your child. go with your instincts, and taking turns with your husband is helpful too!!!!
It could be any number of things. I know with my kid, her night waking peaked at two specific times: once, when she was exclusively on breastmilk and I couldn't pump fast enough to keep up with her appetite; the second time was around ten months when she was pulling up on everything ("Ooh, a new perspective! Even though I'm exhausted, I wanna see what the weather is like up here!"). The first time we simply added formula (not the best solution, but I was already pumping my brains out at work and couldn't take any more breaks), the second time we waited for the charm to wear off.
Don't know if this helps, but good luck!
"No Cry Sleep Solution" has ideas for dealing with sleep issues without letting the child cry it out. Author is Elizabeth Pantly
Did you feel around and see if she is getting her teeth? If so maybe a little baby tylenol or other baby products for teething. Is she hungry? Maybe needs more food before she goes to sleep. At nine months there's lots going on so I guess you have to rule things out. I know how hard it is not getting enough sleep. Is she sleeping near a window or anything where there is a breeze? Is there any possibility of ear infections (one of my sons would get those and since he didn't scream with agony we didn't know). If you are worried the doctor is always the first resource so you can check on any condition, but like I said so many things are happening at that time, not to mention she might start to realize woa, missing mommy or daddy time. I don't like the scream it out method either. Too bad they can't use words and tell us. So we have to guess by process of elimination! Good luck and prayers for you for a good nite's sleep.
S.
hi, lots of great advice here, so I'll just add... ear infection? Probably not, but check if it keeps happening. My kids get these w/ no other syptoms at all... no fevers, colds, anything, so I always get their ears checked with any change in eating or sleeping habits. GOOD LUCK!
Bring her to bed with you. She'll sleep better and so will you and hubby. Also, stop counting how many times she wakes up and turn the clock to the wall so you don't see what time it is when she wakes up.
When a child's needs and cries for help are generally ignored, then a child may internalize a message but for a few nights of cry it out, that won't happen. Remember, all day long you are attending to babies needs and loving the baby and caring and nurturing the baby. Another way of nurturing is helping the baby learn to soothe herself and to fall asleep herself. The baby that wakes up and then goes back to sleep herself gets a lot more sleep AND gets a parent who is better rested and so better able to care for her. Just as you wouldn't deprive your child of food, you should not deprive baby or yourself of sleep. The book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" by Dr. Mark Weisblut has lots of good advice. But it all boils down to the following: pick a night to start and when baby wakes, don't go in the room, (you will know from the cry that it is not a cry of pain etc), and let baby get back to sleep herself. It usually takes about 2-3 nights and they are rough nights but then you have a baby that sleeps great again. Every now and then because of a change of schedule or being away etc. this may have to be repeated. But it is well worth it for both baby and parents and certainly won't hurt self-esteem. You can go the gradual route as well but I find that what is harshly called extinction method works much more effectively and has less chance of slipping back. Good Luck.
Somebody mentioned that your baby may be waking due to environmental noises. We use a humidifier in the winter and a noise machine in the summer so that the house isn't too quiet. Best Wishes!
Hi B.,
My son is sorta of doing the same thing. He started sleeping through the night (getting up once or twice) at four months. After his two teeth came in a month ago he is getting up several times a night: 3-5. I am exhausted. My son is almost 7 months old but is underweight so I must feed him. I called my pediatrician to talk about it, maybe yours can offer some advice.
I just wanted to let you know you are not alone and I feel the same exact way. Sorry for the lack of advice.
V.
Hi B.,
Well I wonder if you are nursing her? if you ARE then be prepared to wake up until you stop the nursing b/c the milk is actually the culprit:) she will be needing to nurse every 4 - 6 hours. if you are off nursing then maybe you have to look at 2 areas: her naptimes and food before sleep.
if you give her a nap, make sure it is in the morning, if she still has 2 naps, the 2nd one should not be too late... also keep in mind she will start "moving" soon if she has not done so...crawling/walking, so let her "move" asmuch as possible so she will become more tired...but the nap is really key! lastly, do you give her something to fill her belly before she sleeps? like a bowl of cereal or something heavy? i totally agree with you on the "crying it out" thing as i have 5 kids and never could bring myself to do that, although some of them have slept better than others...
good luck! just remember that time will pass and with time she will sleep more...try to enjoy these days:)
I agree with those who say it could be teeth. My great sleepers both woke up a lot at night right before a new tooth showed up. I like to use teething tablets- they're all natural, and dissolve on their tongue. They seem to calm babies and relieve the pain. When I know for sure it's teeth, I use Tylenol in addition to the teething tablets when they are absolutely miserable. I hope you find the answer and get some sleep!
My son also did this (usually just up to 3 times a night) from about 5 months up to about 14 months, when he sprouted 8 (yes, you read that right) teeth within a couple of days. To this day I attribute the wake ups to teething. Now, at 19 months old, he sleeps 12 hours through the night beautifully with an occasional wakeup due to a diaper or whatever. However, 8 times is pretty excessive. Have you tried just getting up for an hour or so and going downstairs, giving her a snack (my son would go through growth spurts, needing a midnight snack), cuddling or soothing, or even a little TV if she's hysterical (or even just for your sanity!)? If these things work, then it may be either distracting her from the pain, or she isn't really in pain and you might look into that Weisbluth book (I also liked it). In the end, for me, soothing my baby by nursing worked and put him back to sleep every time (besides the growth spurt times), so I kept it up for months. If it were 8 times a night though I couldn't do it and would have to look into another method (and we've used some cry it out and it worked with both our kids; but use your instincts). I hope you find something that works, and your daughter grows out of it soon.
Hi B., gosh that stinks. It is good to look at what it happening during the day. Is she at a sitter's or in a day care? It is hard to know what goes on if you are not there. She may be taking too many and/or too long of naps. By now she should be napping only 2 times during the day for about and hour each. Also, it is good to look at other factors such as is she eating enough during the day. She should be eating solids in combination with her bottle. She also can have pieces of table food too. Is she getting enough exercise/ stimulation during the day? Teething? There are so many factors, but it is good to start narrowing it down. I have over 10 years expereince in working with young children and graduated with a BS in early childhood education, however, even with all the knowledge it is so hard to know what is going on. I agree, I do not like the cry it out method and have never used it on my own child. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me; we can try to hash it out if you need too I know how it feels to be sleep deprived!!!! ____@____.com
Good Luck!
I note that you have read about the negative effects of crying it out, but have you read about the benefits of crying it out (and they're just not for mom and dad either)?
If you're interested in educating yourself about the other side of the theory, then you may wish to take a look at "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth.
If you're definitely not interested in the cio method whatsoever, that's fine too. None of us here know all the details about your situation and none of us have to live in your home and walk in your shoes, so you have to make the decision you feel is best for your child. Whatever you do, just try to maintain some sort of consistency for your child.
Good luck and happy sleeping!
