Baby's Weight Too Low??

Updated on March 10, 2010
M.F. asks from Little Rock, AR
9 answers

I am a grandmother who has raised my daughter in addition to 2 step kids. The problem is my recent boyfriend has a daughter and had a baby boy about 2 months ago. The baby has a somewhat sunken in soft spot, seems starved all the time, and so I don't get why these young parents won't listen to a middle aged woman who has been around babies all her life instead the Dr's that are supposed to be baby doc's. She says "one oz. of formula for each hour" so since he is 2 months old he is sometimes taking 4 to 5 oz. so he won't me hungry for 5 hours or so. During this 4 to 5 hour wait he is eating his little hands off and fussing, crying, not satisfied at all. She is making him wait till at least 4 hours to eat again. I think this is wrong, when a baby is hungry he will turn his head when you touch his cheek, keep his hands in his mouth all the time trying to get a suck on his little fingers, and cry, cry, and cry more. She won't tell me how much he weighs but, I would say he has not gained much since he was born and weighted 6lb. 12oz. and 20" long. He is still small to me. How do I get through to her, to feed him maybe 4 oz. every 3 hours or something to help this baby thrive..

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So What Happened?

She took him today to his peditrician and he is 9 1/2lbs. and is gaining weight properly the doc says. She asked the Dr. about the feedings and he said it was ok for him to go 4 to 5 hours between feedings. I guess I should have waited until I wrote this but it was so on my mind constantly. I worry too much.. he got his shots today and is quiet, she give him Tyonyl and he seems fine. He ate and burped and pooped and is sleeping now...all is ok.. Thanks to all that wrote, I did read all the responses..

More Answers

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

The baby is being neglected.
A sunken in fontanel... means Dehydration. and that is dangerous. A baby can die from it.

He is acting like he is hungry because he is. He needs to be fed ON-DEMAND... not according to a schedule. Schedule fed babies, often have failure to thrive and low weight percentiles. Because- it is not natural nor does it address the baby's intake needs... and all babies have different varying appetites everyday, sometimes needing more. This is normal. Schedule fed babies, do not get intake per "their" needs and growth-spurts and development.

The baby, is acutely suffering.
The baby, is ONLY 2 months old.... and if the Mom continues to neglect him... he can die, get severe dehydration, get brain damage, and a host of other things.
His weight is ONLY 6 pounds, at 2 months old. Geez.

Your boyfriend is her Dad... can't he get through to her? or is he just as unaware???

AND, babies OFTEN go through what is called "cluster-feeding" which is NORMAL and it means that they will need to feed even every single hour... because they are growing and hungry. It is for their survival and proper growth and nutrition and getting appropriate caloric intake to sustain them. "Schedule" fed babies... are denied this. Because they are on a schedule... and this is not natural.

Sorry, but I hope the baby does not become a statistic.
He is being grossly neglected.
He is starving.
You cannot allow it to happen.. but yet, you are not her Mom nor will she listen to reason.

You can call CPS.
She seems like an unfit Mother.

All the best,
Susan

2 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from Nashville on

Oh, this post made me sick to my stomach. Seriously. I think you need to hurry and do something. I agree that calling his doctor could be a good idea, but only if she has an appointment in the next few days. Like the other person said, they can't legally talk to you. But they can listen and make a note in the file. You can tell them that you are concerned enough to call CPS but don't want to go that route if there is a way for the doctor to intervene. If you don't get anywhere, or he doesn't have an appointment coming up, I would call CPS.

I was also going to mention scheduled feedings and Babywise, but not to suggest it. I am wondering if she is following this book or another type of book that advocates scheduled feedings? These books can be dangerous and cause "failure to thrive" in cases where the parents don't use common sense and realize that every baby is different, there is no set rule that can be applied to every baby. Babies need to be fed on demand, and you are right, it is pretty easy to recognize the cues once you've done it. I have not heard of the 1 oz per hour rule, and I read up on baby stuff all the time. I think this sounds like classic neglect, and babies can die from this. What does your boyfriend say about the situation? I usually say people should not offer advice or be too pushy with new parents, especially in the type of relationship you are in, but not in the case of child welfare. I agree that he sounds small. That is hard to judge though. My son was 7 lbs at birth and gained weight very well, but was still in newborn clothes at 3 months. But he didn't have that scrawny baby bird look any more. He is a smaller child with no pudgy rolls, but there was never any doubt that he was thriving. I would get him some help before he is damaged for life or dies.

*Edit*
I'm glad the doctors appt went okay. Did he say anything about the sunken soft spot? That is the most alarming part of your post, to me. Did you do the pinch test like another poster suggested to see if his skin stays pinched? I still think that is a long time between feedings, but my son was not formula fed, so I am not experienced there. I guess as long as the doctor isn't concerned, he is ok. The biggest indicator of thriving or not is their weight gain, and if his is good, he should be ok.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm not sure how you would bring this up with them, but you are right in that the baby is showing signs that he is not satisfied , at 2 months when formula fed they do take around 4oz every 3 hrs , you cannot make a baby that young wait for a feed. Also the sunken in soft spot is a sign of dehydration so you are right to be concerned. You need to talk to your BF and make him listen.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from San Francisco on

You have received a lot of good information so far. If the baby is about 2 months then they should have a 2mo well baby check up. This is typically the first one after leaving the hospital unless there have been other issues. You could casually ask her when the baby's appointment is. If I had to bet she's going to be surprised and mortified at what the doctor says. If she tells you when it is you could call her after and ask how it went. The first thing I do when I leave a well baby visit is call or text everyone and let them know their height, weight, and percentiles. If she mentions she found out she's not feeding him enough, be supportive and tell her you are there to help, having been there before. Also ask her if she wants a break that you can watch him for her. Ask her how she wants things. If you get several hours. Feed him when he's hungry and if he's no longer a fussy baby you could let her know you gave him an extra bottle and he's been a happy baby all day.

Regardless of how much a child takes in, they should be eating every 2-3 hours at that age because of how tiny their tummies are. I hope it gets fixed soon. I wish you the best of luck, follow your heart and instinct.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.G.

answers from Norfolk on

I would think he should eat more often but at this age I think 24 oz is about right as a general rule. However, it seems pretty clear that she is not meeting his needs. I have a ten week old and he is on a every three hour schedule which is normal. The baby might be crying because he is uncomfortably full from eating so much at once (which he is probably doing since he is hungry to start with). Since you are not the mom, I can't tell you how to get her to listen. If she won't tell you things already you may have approached this the wrong way to start with and you might want to have someone else talk to her. However, one thing she might understand is that if she ever want him to sleep through the night she should keep him on a closer schedule during the day. He is more likely to sleep through the night sooner if doesn't go more than 3 hours between feedings during the day. That isn't the answer to the parenting problem she seems to have, but maybe its a compelling arguement on her terms. If you think she would read it you could get her the book "Babywise" which talks about scheduling for feeding and sleep. Your boyfriend may be able to call and talk to his grandsons pediatrician and express his concerns and get advise. Unfortunately you are not part of the immediate family so that type of information would not be available to you.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

It sounds like the baby probably isn't eating enough and you are right to be concerned. The problem is, most people don't like taking unsolicited advice, even from people who have been through it all before. Has your boyfriend tried talking to her? She might take it a little better coming from him rather than her.
Otherwise, suggest to her that she asks the baby's doctor what he should weigh and how much she should eat. It sounds like the doctor is the only one she is really going to listen to. Hopefully you can get him in to the pediatrician soon. If she is a single parent or her husband/boyfriend can't go with her, offer to attend the appointment with her so you can take notes while she listens to the doc and asks questions. Sometimes a new mom is so tired that it's hard to remember everything the doc says.

K.
http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/karenchao

1 mom found this helpful
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C.T.

answers from Denver on

The general rule of thumb that I learned is that babies should consume about 3 times their body weight in ounces of formula. I agree that a sunken fontanel and not gaining weight is a big red flag. He is also giving them classic hunger signals that they need to recognize. Babies arent like a car when you have them serviced every 3000 miles. They need to learn to watch for his cues and signals in order to meet his needs. Most babies that age will take 4-5 ounces every 3-4 hours and have one stretch per day where they go 4-6 hours ie: at night but some babies just need more, especially during growth spurts that happen every 4-6 weeks at this age.

Babies that age should be gaining between 4oz-8oz per week at that age so if he was 6.12 at birth he should weigh at least 9 lbs by 2 months old. Maybe when you are carrying him around you could hop onto the bathroom scale to see how much he weighs.

I would recommend purchasing them a copy of The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I find this post and situation scary and disturbing. Especially the sunken soft spot. Have your boyfriend call the ped's office and ask about his grandson's sunken soft spot and see what they tell HIM.
SOMEONE has gotta speak up for this baby!
That sounds like toooo many ounces at O. time and the feedings are being done too infrequently.
Does she have the book: What to Expect The First Year? She should. It sounds like she knows NOTHING about the needs of a baby.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Little Rock on

babies this young usually eat every 2-3 hours. maybe you should advise her to see a different dr or a nutritionist, so they could tell her, based on weight and age, how much he needs. when they go to the dr., they should plot his height/weight on a growth chart and see what percentage he is in. just tell her you went to this website with lots of mom, and got their advise. maybe you can encourage her to join this site just for new mommy questions. moms want to do what they want to do and not hear it from parents or inlaws, so maybe her hearing it from other moms would help. good luck!

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