Baby Sleeping

N. - I don't have much to add other than to add my voice to those that point out most 2-month olds don't have a schedule. My younger wouldn't sleep by himself or start a schedule until he was 5 months old. My husband and I were not sleep deprived with either infant. I slept when they slept, and they slept with us at night. The house was never clean, but we decided it was more important to be well rested!

I would highly recommend the video "Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp. Helped us tremendously!

most kids dont even begin to regulate their naps until around 6 months. Put the books down they really just make you crazy. The sooner you accept that your child will sleep someday the sooner you will get used to your "new" schedule. O and soon as they start to "regulate" they begin teething...a whole new set of issues...dont worry youll get sleep again...someday!

Please please do NOT attempt to sleep train your daughter yet. Babies do not develop any sort of regular sleeping schedule and perminant sleep habits until 12-16 weeks of age. So until then, you need to just do what is necessary to get yourself some sleep. This may include:
- nursing her to sleep
- co-sleeping
- having her nap snuggled in your arms
- sleeping in a swing
- sleeping in her carseat
- sleeping in a baby carrier/sling while being worn
- using a pacifier
- singing and rocking her to sleep

Try any and all of the above. I think now is a good time to start thinking about a routine but honestly, I would go with the flow as far as scheduling when she's this little. The other thing is that you can start working on her self-soothing skills, but keep in mind that she will need some assistance from you to learn this. If you lay her down it's ok to let her fuss a little (note that fussing isn't the same as hysterical crying). Frequently, a little fussing is something that she can resolve herself, whereas if she gets really worked up she will need you to comfort her.

Good luck. Hang in there. It gets easier. Oh - and remember all those people who say "sleep when your baby sleeps"? They're right - do your best to get some naps in.

Babies are not born with circadian rhythms or internal biological clocks...so attempting to sleep train an infant younger than 3 months old is futile. My Pediatricians said that an infant's central nervous system is still developing during the first 3 months of life, so trying to force a schedule is not in the infant's best interest.

Until the time she turns at least 3 months old, I suggest you feed her when she seems hungry, change her when she wets and let her sleep when she needs to sleep. At her age, your baby will become tired after only one or two hours awake, so try to soothe her before she becomes overtired. Hang in there Mom -- you are only another month away from your baby's turning point.

Once she turns 3 months old, start re-reading and utilizing one of the sleep training methods in the books you have. For the most part, it doesn't matter which book you use...as long as you are consistent with your baby. I had great success with "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," which addresses the science behind sleep, as well as sleep solutions for children at all ages (through adolescence.)

Yep, it's a fact of babies. They don't sleep that great. Do you have a sling you could wear her in? That's helpful so you can go about your daily chores while she sleeps snuggled near you. Aying down with her will also help her stay asleep longer so you can get some rest too. Relax and enjoy this time spent holding your baby.

Why do you think new mothers always talk about being sleep deprived? Don't plan on getting a decent night's sleep for her first year. (It's been 13 years for me, and I still always need a nap).

Your daughter is WAY too young to be on any sort of schedule. You can help her learn by making it quiet and dark ONLY at night time. During the day, my kids napped in a bassinet in the family room. Some newborns nap in half hour intervals...frustrating, but something we have to deal with.

Good luck and please be patient. Just remind yourselves how lucky you are, and the next few months will fly by.

well one thing i learned when i was having trouble with my babies and i am 51 years old. set them on top of a dryer in their seat and turn it on the vibaration helps soothe them also an old trick take a small alarm clock and put it somewhere close to them, and my favorite one was i would put a tape in of the nature's like rain and crickets and my kids fell asleep quickly. just a few ideas. good luck

Well I have bad news for you. If you can get a two month old to sleep more than a few hours at a time, you are very fortunate.

My first only slept two hours at the most. She rarely slept more than 30 minutes at a time during the day. She hated her crib and would wake at the slightest noise.

She did love her swing and walks outside. She was born in January and it was cold, but if it kept her from screaming, I was bundling her up and walking with a stroller in the snow. It was hilarious but she wouldn't cry. I also would sleep on the floor with my hand in the crib so she could hold a finger and sleep for a few minutes longer.

I was so sleep deprived I was halucinating. She didn't start sleeping better until she was about four to six months and never slept all night until she was well over a year old.

My second started sleeping six hours straight at night by three weeks. She napped in the morning and afternoon for an hour or more. It was heaven. I thought I had it all figured out and that's why she slept better.

Then number three comes along and he's just like his older sister. The only thing that saved me was that I learned (after three pregnancies and three nursing babies) how to sleep slightly reclined in my glider.

Some things that helped my oldest.

1.) A really loud humidifier. My MIL gave me a really old, very loud humidifier. It sounded like a semi idling in the room, but she slept much better with that on. I used that every time I laid her down for over a year until it kicked the bucket. By then she was older and sleeping better.

2.) Slept her on her tummy. I know all the doctors say on their back, but none of my babies would sleep on their back.

3.) I had to stop over dressing her. I figured if I was cold she must be colder. Poor thing was sweating her butt off every night. My hubby told me to stop dressing her so warmly and stop covering her with a thick blanket. That helped. I just used the one extra thin layer rule after that. If I needed a long sleeve shirt and a light blanket...then I put a t-shirt on her with a long sleeve shirt and light blanket.

4.) I made sure that she had a full tummy when I put her down....and she was burped real good.

Hope some of that helps.

Hang in there, N.! I haven't read the other responses, and I'm sure you've gotten a LOT of them so I'll blindly give you my two cents :)

Most babies don't have a real schedule that early (despite what books and, in my experience, women w/ 40 year old kids, might say!). When my daughter (who is now over 2 and a GREAT sleeper!) was about 2+ months old I started jotting down when she was sleeping realizing that it was going to be a little different every day. I actually got really anal about it and made a spreadsheet b/c I could see it better. When she was about 4 months old I started to notice patterns for her naps and her bedtimes. By the time she was 5 months old she was going to bed at the same time every night (though not sleeping throuh it!) and when she was 6 months old she had a nap schedule.

I did some internet research when I started journaling her sleeping (and eating) and relized that my expectations had just been too high. Six months is about the time when most babies start to have reliable schedules.

Be patient and sleep when you can! I know this might not be what you want to hear, but hopefully it will help you feel a little less frustrated and alone!

Good luck!

Hi N.! I'm sorry that you're so tired! I noticed that some other people recommended Babywise to you. Before you read it please check out the website- www.ezzo.info
I don't know if you are breastfeeding or not, but my daughter would nurse to sleep then I would lay her in a bassinet next to my bed. If she fussed I could always lay my hand on her and she would know that she was close to me. Little babies just want to be near their mommies!

I agree with Shelly. Starting the routine early promotes healthy sleeping habits, so now IS the time to start a routine if you want to promote lasting healthy sleep habits. Getting started on it is the toughest part. I started with a 3 hour schedule and we stuck with that until after baby was sleeping through the night consistently and then showed signs of being ready to lengthen the time frames. Getting started, think of feeding every 3 hours and then the sleeping will more easily fall into place. So feed every 3 hours so it's good full meals (which allows for good naps without hunger disturbing the nap) so we did like 6sm, 9am, noon, 3pm, 6pm, 9pm, 10pm (that last one to feed right before going to bed for the night). Then feeding in the night was on demand until the baby naturally dropped that feeding. Both mine started sleeping through the night consistently around 2 months, so it doesn't take so long after starting the routine as the body is becoming capable of that now. The routine gives the baby the clue on when that long sleep is expected to be. Now for the naps, the goal is then to lay down the baby for a nap half way between feedings, so that means encouraging awake time after feedings (hormone when nursing causes drowsiness, though doesn't mean they need sleep right then, just a little play/stimulation brings them alert again). So with those feeding times I mentioned, you would lay the baby down to sleep at 7:30am, 10:30am, 1:30pm, 4:30pm, 7:30pm, and then to bed for the night at 10:30pm after the last 10pm feeding(so the 10:30pm-6am was the sleeping through the night time). You mentioned your baby girl doesn't always like going down in the crib. Tried swaddling?? That helps especially if the startle reflex is making it hard for her to sleep. Also, with this routine, oftentimes the baby will not show signs of being tired at nap times (those signs often come when they are overtired which actually then makes it harder for them to fall asleep) but when laid down, after on the routine for a while, it doesn't take long at all for their bodies to drift to sleep when it's time for them to nap. The baby will also start waking up on their own when it's time to eat after a while on the routine. When baby is sleeping through the night and you are starting to routinely need to wake her from naps for feeding, that's when you know it's time to move on to a 4 hour schedule/routine. We of course allowed some flexability in the schedule/routine for growth spurts and such, but the routine helped the baby's so much with acquiring healthy sleep habits, as well as helping us to plan our days easily and helping us to know exactly what the baby needs so we understood easily what the baby wanted if he got fussy. BabyWise is a bit extreme in my opinion though the entire concept is so helpful so still worth the reading. Another great book is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Best wishes!!

N.,

Have you tried the Happiest Baby on the Block book? It was helpful for my son who didn't nap easily. It describes a process of about 5-6 steps that help to calm a baby. It might explain why sometimes it seems to work and others it doesn't. Simple things like lying them on their side, swaddling, and the exact order to try them in.

My second child (5 mo old daughter) is easier but we do put her in a side sleeper/wedge in her crib so she feels more secure (like she's being held).
Good luck.
A.

A little about me:
Mom to a 3 1/2 yr old boy and 5 mo old girl.

We have had this experience with both of our girls. They both screamed when we put them in the crib. We finally had to take the mattress out and place it on the floor. That worked for a while in their rooms. The other thing we did, so that we could all sleep, is we made a bed on the floor of our bedroom and they slept great. There was something with security that I am told from my doctor and through my studies as well. I am studying counseling and child care. It is still based on routine. We had schedules for naps, bedtime, etc. We had tried everything from them crying it out to sleeping with them. I had finally decided that if any of us were going to get sleep, the crib had to be a non-optiion Not sure what scared them about it, but they slept better outside the crib. My youngest is prone to hyperventilation so crying it out was not always an option. I hope that this helps and that you don't feel alone. I have been there, twice. They do eventually get used to going to bed on their own.

HI N.,

I am sorry you are having such a challenging time with your daughter's sleep patterns. I CAN RELATE. I know you said you have read every book out there, but I was not sure if one of those books included "On Becoming Baby Wise" -Giving your child the gift of Good Night's Sleep. This Book SAVED MY LIFE! My daughter is now 13 months and when she was born she had her days and nights mixed up which made me a COMPLETE zomby. I was sooo fatigued. It was awful. At about 6-weeks, after venting to a friend, she shared with me about Babywise and I have NOT stopped thanking her. I was hesitant at first but at that point I was so desperate, I had nothing to lose afterall, I was not sleeping anyways. My daughter, who was originally keeping me up ALL night, was sleeping through the night by 8 weeks! Her duaghter who is the same age is also sleeping through the night too.

You can go on Amazon and read the reviews. People either love the book or Hate it and I am one of those who LOVES IT! It basically stresses the importance of establishing a routine and making sure the baby is getting full feedings. Hang in there, I will pray for your strength as you continue to seek out wisdom for dealing with this issue.

Have you tried the "miracle blanket"? You can find it online for $30. Its like a mini straight jacket...it keeps their arms down at their sides and swaddled tightly. I have a 8 week old daughter too, I use it on her just at night but she'll sleep anywhere between 4 and 7 hours when she has it on. I just picked it up 2 weeks ago. It is going to be the shower gift I give now...I definitely think it has helped keep her feeling secure and wrapped so tight, she can't startle herself awake. Good luck!

At this point, your daughter is too young to start sleep training, and you'll just have to play it by ear, so to speak, until she is physiologically ready to be put on a schedule.
Congratulations on your new addition!

Hi...Newborns are very hard to analyze. We warmed the swaddle blanket in the dryer and then swaddled our daughter nice and tight. Try also rubbing the blanket on you to obtain your scent.
We kept our daughter in a bassinet until 6months. They are smaler adn tend to be easier to place the baby in once they fall asleep.
The crib was too high to pace her down and she would also wake once she hit the bottom.
It took our daughter 9moonths to fin ally sleep through the night. Alot of patience needed...Good Luck

All the books are helpful, but she is just too young! Not what you want to hear right? LOL

What worked for me at this age (and I guess it is sleep training) is that I never let my kids be awake for more then two hours.

Seriously, when they woke up I would start the timer on my watch and when it got to about an hour and a half I would start to wind them down and then rock, feed etc until they fell asleep. This worked for me (about 90% of the time). Then around 12 weeks of age they started for form a sleeping pattern.

I think it is okay, if you are close to let her sleep in the swing, car seat or bouncer. Mine would sleep wonderfully in the bouncer at about 6 weeks of age until about 10. Any little bit of sleep helps! Hang in there.............it will improve!

What books have you read? The book "On Becoming Babywise" has helped me get my 6 month old twins into a routine that works (3 hour rotation of eat, awake time and napping). I must respectfully disagree with the mother who said not to try a routine until 16 weeks. I would not have survived.

We focus on getting a good, full feeding, having some happy awake time and then watching the babies for signs of exhaustion (eye rubbing, etc) and putting them down for naps before they cry, the whole time watching the clock to make sure we're about the right time in our routine.

It also gives tips if they cry out, does she still have a burp, etc.

2 months seems to be the hardest time, they are coming down from their 6 week crankiness peak and you're incredibly exhausted.

I also found many good tips in the Baby Whisperer book. I found some overlap between the two books, but those helped
me the most.

Good luck.

Hi N.!
I know what you're going through! My now 14-month-old was very difficult the first few months of her life! The things that I found that did the trick for her were:
(1)make sure she takes a FULL feeding each time she eats ("snacking" behavior with his meals will encourage "snacking" behavior with his sleeping!) If you're breastfeeding, this may take a while (a half hour-40 minutes), but it's worth it in the end! (2) don't let him get overtired. If he's fussy and just ate, help him get to sleep by rocking him/walking him,etc. One of the mistakes that I made with my daughter is that I assumed that everytime she cried, she was hungry when in reality, she just needed a little help falling asleep. If you miss their "sleep window", they become overtired and virtually impossible to get to sleep. Watch for drowsy signs, too (eye rubbing, yawning, general slowing down of movements) and try to get him down as soon as you see these (3) make sure he follows the "sleep, eat, play - repeat" schedule. In other words, don't let him eat in order to fall asleep. This creates a bad habit that will be difficult to break later on. A side note - most babies don't get on any real type of schedule until they're about 4 months old or so. Hang in there!! Things will get easier, I promise!! I know you said that you've read a lot of books, but try "Babywise" by Ezzo. Some people find the "crying-it-out" part of this book a bit contraversial, but I just skipped over that part and used the rest of the info on scheduling. Good luck! :-)

My son was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks and taking 2-3 naps by this time. I used the book "On Becoming Baby Wise". I think it was written in the '80's, but it is not outdated at all! My cousin recommended it to me and I tell everyone I know about this book. It works on the theory that your eating pattern naturally establishes your sleeping pattern. As adults, we eat 3 meals a day and sleep through the night. My son was exactly like your daughter for the first 2 weeks and I was losing my mind! Then I read the book and implemented the feeding schedule they suggested. It worked within 6 weeks. My son is a really great sleeper to this day. It takes a newborn about a half hour to eat, so they suggested you feed your baby 2.5 hours from the end of one feeding to the start of another feeding, or about every 3 hours. So our schedule looked like this: wake up and eat at 7 a.m., then 10 am., then 1 p.m., then 4 p.m., then 7 p.m., then 10 p.m., then bedtime. Naps lasted about a half hour 3 times a day for our son. I hope this helps and good luck!

Hi N.,

Not sure if you've tried wrapping her up like a burrito and placing one of your shirt near by.

have you tried "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley? It is really great!!!

I must agree with Tanya and Karen. It really is too early to be trying to teach your baby any kind of schedule. I used the book "The Sleepeasy Solution" which explains why this is so. My daughter is now 18 months old and has been a great sleeper and napper since soon after we started training her. Of course we've had our set backs - teething, illness, etc. - but we knew what to do in that situation thanks to the book. Have patience, just a few more months and you can start training. Good luck!

With both of my girls, I let them sleep wherever and whenever they wanted as newborns (some experts would strongly disagree, but I'm really laid back) By 6 months of age, they naturally fell into a sleep routine of taking 3 naps per day and sleeping overnight 10-11 hours. (It was actually harder with my first, now that I think about it.) But they are both great sleepers now! Some things can't be forced, and I think an infant sleep schedule is one of them. Good luck!

Hi,
I would suggest let your baby run her own schedule. It is too young to put her on schedule now. What she needs now is enough rest. Once she is older, say, 5 months, we can play a little "tough" there.

Hope this helps.

J.

try using the Baby Whisperer's EASY method for a schedule, and the Happiest Baby on the Block 5 s's method. Those two combined will make cio not be a needed thing (at that age)
EASY - when the baby wakes up it Eats. After you feed it, then it has Activity - bouncy seat, tummy time, sitting up and playing with toys, swing, exersaucer, etc. When the baby gets fussy check the B's - boredom, butt or burp. If it's none of those then off to Sleep. Don't wait for the baby to do more than get the tiniest bit fussy, then see what is causing the fusses - if it's just that they needed their diaper change do that, but if it's not the activity is boring, the butt is dirty or they have to burp, then put them down. This may happen after as short as 45 minutes, don't freak, it really means they are tired.
Now, to get them to sleep use the 5 s's. Swaddle the baby, hold the baby on their side and sway as they suck on something (paci, your knuckle or their finger/thumb) and make a shush noise. This will calm your baby. When the baby is calm, but not asleep yet, keeping them swaddled lay them in the bed. I like to pat them instead of sway after a minute or two cause you can still pat after they are put down but you can't sway, so pat the baby and continue patting gradually decreasing it as you put them in the bed. Also continue the shushing as you put them down, again gradually getting quieter.
If you do these two you will find a well rested, easily managed baby in no time.

My son who is almost 19 years old now loved to nap in his swing. I had a battery powered swing and he just love be sitting in the swing. I think it is the regular motion that he loved. He stopped taking naps by the time he was 2 years old. He takes more naps now than he did when he was little. Cannot really help you with the night sleeping I was very lucky our son slept through the night at a very early age. We tried to use a cradle and he hated it but he loved the openness of the crib. To this day he loves lots of space around him, even in his clothes. Never wears anything tight. So my only suggestion is maybe your daughter wants the opposite. Maybe she does not want space she wants things close by. Try putting items around her to make her crib appear smaller to her.
Also have you tried soothing mood music in her room? Can't hurt to try.

S.

I just read all of the responses (a lot of good ideas--I took some notes for my next one!) But I'm surprised that no one mentioned what did the trick for us. The vaccuum!!!! OMG it was like a tranquilizer dart! People laughed so hard when they saw it work! We had a really hard time getting our little guy to settle down--he was really active from the womb on. (Still is!) But the loud, white noise of the vaccuum calmed him down. And when we combined the swing with the vaccuum, it was even more magical. Try this!

N.;
Hang in there it sounds like she is sleeping like a 2 month old. I was just scrapbooking pictures of my little one at 2 months and realized I must have been incredibly sleep deprived because there are hardly any pictures from that time period. We were just struggling to stay awake. One of my favorite books is the Sleep Book by Dr. Sears he goes through a lot of different issues with sleep and my favorite part is he helps you remember that it all gets better. Try putting her in a wrap or a sling and walking around that way she naps and you get things done and if she doesn't nap at least she is getting quiet time with you.