Baby Shower on Second Baby

Updated on March 31, 2010
S.S. asks from Jackson, WY
27 answers

I am getting ready to have our second child. We are not finding out again what the sex is. Our first is a boy who will be 3 soon. So I have all of his little boy clothes. My girlfriend said she would like to have a baby shower for me. Do you usually have a shower for the second baby? I know I have been to them before but the kids were pretty spaced out in age. I told her I didn't know if I should have one. I don't want to make people feel like I am being greedy having another shower. If I did though I think I would like to wait unil after the baby is born. Then if it is a girl we can get get girlie stuff since I don't have any. I really don't want a bunch more nuetral clothes which I already have since we didn't find out on our first either. Plus then everyone could meet the baby which I think would be really nice. What is standard?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for the replies! I feel better that I am not wanting to shortchange myself of a shower. I had a beautiful shower last time and got the experience before having the baby. I really would just like to have a big BBQ at my house and invite friends and family to meet the new baby and just enjoy. I know people who can or want to will bring something for him or her then or before. Which is sweet but not important overall. I just want people to come and enjoy and not have another gift to buy. Thanks!

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answers from Salt Lake City on

maybe do a "sprinkle"?? I've heard of these done but never been to one. It's more of a social time to see the baby- talk about all the mommy stuff that gets talked about at showers and just plain have fun. More of just an open house so to speak. You could include on the invite that you don't want gifts, or if you do end up needing girl things you could include a list of things that are needed but nothing else? Good luck, times are changing with doing showers for second children but if you're uncomfortable about doing a shower I'd go with the "sprinkle" idea :) look it up on bing- it gave tons of suggestions.



answers from Denver on

My friends hosted a 2nd baby shower for me and held it at Supper Solutions. That was so perfect because I already had all the baby things I needed (plus I didn't know if I was having a boy or girl). Having many suppers to choose from after giving birth was a huge relief. It helped my husband too because he didn't have to cook so much for me!



answers from Denver on

My mom had a cute idea it's called a sprinkle instead of the shower you can just have a small get together and ask them to bring diapers. That way it's not the full blown hoorah and it's a good excuse to get everyone together before the baby comes.

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answers from Kansas City on

since you say you already have all the baby-neutral stuff, there's not a big need for a shower. i like your idea of a "welcome baby" party though. but i would only invite close friends and family.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Houston on

I'm going to have another baby soon and my Aunt said she and my mother were talking about throwing me a shower. I told her the same thing, that I didn't think it was a good idea, unless it was a boy maybe because 1) my daughter is only 15mths so we just had one! and 2) we bought all of the big items gender neutral, so we are just talking clothes. I love the idea about the "Celebration" after the baby is born though! Most people want to come see the baby anyway and bring a little something, so this will be a good time for everyone.



answers from New York on

It seems like when it comes to baby showers anything goes. Some people think every baby deserves a baby shower, others like me think a 2nd baby shower (when there are no special circumstances) are not necessary. (I send a card and a small gift after the baby is born).

I love the idea of a "meet the baby" party after the baby is born.



answers from Denver on

I agree that for a second baby you should have an open house or meet the baby shower. Unless you know for sure you are having the opposite gender. I had a girl and then my second was a boy. I really felt funny about even having a shower. My friends and family insisted, but I was glad the he arrived 5 weeks early in time to make it a meet the baby shower. I know people that have had diaper showers with their 2nd, 3rd, etc. babies. It is really what you are comfortable with. I just made my list for the 2nd shower with names of people I knew wanted me to have the 2nd shower. I love the idea for the frozen meal shower. Best of luck!



answers from Pueblo on

Everyone I know has a shower for every new baby. I have never until recently heard of not having one for a second child. I dont see how a second child is any less special and deserving of new gifts than the first.



answers from Boston on

I would not have a second shower. You will receive gifts when your little one is born. Good luck!



answers from Chicago on

I don't think a shower is appropriate, sorry =( I think having a party after baby is born to celebrate the new little one is a great idea though! I'm sure lots of people would bring things for the baby at that time. I would not register or anything like that though even if you have a party after baby is born. Just my 2 cents. Congrats on the upcoming baby!

If your friend just wants to do something nice for you, how about getting a sitter for your little one and then a small group of you girls going for a spa day or ladies' lunch...something like that. You can pay for yourself so its not a shower, just a get together! You help plan the day out with your thoughtful friend.



answers from Chicago on

A get together after the baby is born sounds more fun, as long as you're up for it. And if you're not really in need of clothes, except for a couple pretty dress pictures (if it's girl), then you could make it a diaper party. You'll always need diapers...unless you go the natural route. But don't forget about big brother. When my second son was born, we bought a balloon for my first son (he loved balloons and hot wheels). So he doesn't need a lot, but just one special toy that you know he would absolutely love!



answers from Denver on

Tough one. My friend wanted to throw me one and I am not opposed to it I am just not sure iot is needed. I know what I am having and someone suggested maybe a diaper party (with maybe the little essential) that you will ahve to stock up on again. I said maybe we can have a small one. So it really is up to you but remember after the baby are you really gonna what a shower with a newborn at home. So I would just think about and decide for yourself. Not everyone has a second shower and some do so the choice really is yours.



answers from Denver on

If it's your friends idea, let her have the fun. Who doesn't need diapers, etc. You didn't mention how close your kids are, maybe gift cards so you could get a double stroller? There's a lot you still need. After the baby would probably be more helpful. Congratulations!



answers from Chicago on

There is rally nothing wrong with having another shower today. But based on what you wrote, maybe your friend can have a welcome shower about a month after baby comes. I think that is a great idea.



answers from Wausau on

I personally would find another baby shower tacky. I feel once I give birth to baby #2, people will then have the choice to bring the baby a gift to the hospital or to my home when they come to meet the new addition. My son is 22 months and the second is due in Aug. I do think it is acceptable to get all your close friends together and have a little girls night out dinner/shower. I have taken part in those a couple of times. In the end the people that mean the most to you will still get you a gift so maybe wait and see and then you could then have a cook out at your home and if they bring a gift they do, but then there is no pressure. Hope this helps in the decision making :) R.



answers from San Francisco on

My daughter came 6 weeks early, before the shower! My friends ended up re-scheduling it for later, and everyone really liked that they could meet her, hold her, etc. When we have our 2nd, I think I'd do that - everyone really liked that they could see her.

Good luck.



answers from Casper on

Well in today's world there are no real standard's. I would graciously accept it from your dear friend, and tell her how you would like it to be! You can still play the games but this way everyone will get to see the new bundle of joy and also this way if a girl or boy you can get the true colors for either one! Alot of people now adays are not finding out what the baby is,,, I just did a big shower for a gal that did not know what it was. But we like you waited till after the baby was born and I think everyone had alot more fun getting to see the baby and hold it then before the baby is born! No you are not being greedy! In today's world every little bit helps. Also this is a fun way to introducing everyone at once to your baby and letting them get to bond with it. Your girl friend that wants to give you the party if a true friend will understand and also understand your feelings about worring about greed. She offered you did not suggest it. Also has been 3 years almost since last child! I say go for it and let your friend do your party but after the baby is born the way you would like it! My friends party was a huge success after her baby was born. <it was a girl> So we went Pink all the way! Had a huge inflatable bottle in the front Lawn and tons of pink balloons. Most of my neighbors saw it going up<bottle> asked about it I told them and because the baby was coming they all showed up also and brought something for the little girl also! We all had a great time. One suggestion... if you think there are a few folks that might look down about 2nd shower just ask them about it! If they donot wish to come they won't. I wish you all the luck and many blessings for you and your family! Go with it and relax and just have fun!



answers from Savannah on

I'm pregnant with my second and my family kept telling me you don't have a shower for the second baby. But my friend decided to throw me one anyhow. I felt weird about it too but she insisted (since we didn't think we were having anymore children and our girls are 4.5 years apart...I literally have nothing).
When she asked for the list of people to invite...I kept it to a few friends who wanted to throw me a shower. I know other family/friends will give stuff once she is born....but it's nice to have some of the necessities prior to birth. Good luck!



answers from Denver on

My girlfriends gave me a shower for all three of my kids. It is a way for your friends to do something nice for you, don't worry about looking greedy, it is a nice gesture.

I would totally do a baby shower when the baby arrives though, so everyone can see. I have been to a couple and it is the best thing ever! Great photos too.

Enjoy and congrats!



answers from Pocatello on

While I agree having a party after the birth and letting everyone meet the baby is super neat, I have a different idea. I had a shower for the 2nd and it was a frozen meal shower. I came home with so much food that I literally didn't have to cook for 30 days after having the baby. Wow! Depending on how you feel after the baby comes, how the family is adjusting, I think it's risky to set up a party for after. My $0.02 :)



answers from Salt Lake City on

If you have a friend sweet enough to host a shower for you let her. Because you will not know the baby's gender until after he or she is born (fun choice) ask her to wait until the baby is born. If it is a girl go ahead with the shower. If it is a boy and assuming the "things" you have from your son are okay have her host a "dinner's on us" shower instead. Rather than guests bringing gifts for the baby your friends and family will bring items and the recipe for an easy to prepare meal. Everyone still gets to enjoy a get together and you get time saver meals. And what new mother couldn't use that.
Best Wishes for an easy delivery and a life time of wonderful memoreis with your family. - K.



answers from Boise on

Thank you for asking this question. I am pregnant with my 2nd and really didn't know what to expect. My mom and sister threw my first in my home state with just a few old friends. I didn't have anyone where I live that threw me a shower, although I did have one at my office. This time, my mom is coming for the the birth to help out with our first, and I can't afford to fly down, and she can't come up again, so they are out, and my MIL isn't the type to do that.
I was feeling a little sad for this little surprise, as I think that s/he is just as special as the first, but everything is definitely downplayed. We only received one congrats card this time when we announced, compared to about 25 last time.
For me, it isn't about the gifts - we actually need more big boy stuff for my 2 year old son, as all the baby stuff will get passed on down, including the room, and unisex clothes from last time. And last time we didn't get a lot, but it was nice to have him acknowledged. I just want this little life celebrated and appreciated.
My office is still throwing me one, and I feel weird about the gifts, but I like the social time, and I really like the idea that people had about the meet the baby bbq. That way nobody feels like they need to bring a gift, but they can if they want to, and we can plan it at our house, and decide on the timing, due to my c-section.
If your friend wants to throw you one, let her. You can ask her to do it at your house after the baby is born, and then you don't have to worry about coordinating it, or even hosting. Have fun.



answers from Denver on

I have a couple of suggestions because my cousin and I both had babies last summer - the second for me, third for her.

I did know the sex of my baby, so I had a shower/bbq/potluck before he was born. It was an open invite to a bunch of family and friends to just come to a bbq/potluck lunch to celebrate the upcoming birth of our second child. I did register and we let people know they could bring baby gifts if they wanted, but they were not required. Some people did bring stuff, but most did not - and it was a really fun afternoon.

My cousin did not find out the sex of her baby, and did not have any type of shower before her baby was born. Instead, she opted to have a "welcome home" type of party after her daughter was born so people could come meet the new baby. This let people still buy gifts if they wanted, but it wasn't a true baby shower.

Both parties were fun, and didn't make us feel like we were just throwing another baby shower to get people to buy us stuff :)



answers from Indianapolis on

No, baby showers are usually not customary for 2nd children. But, we do a lot of things today that aren't appropriate to etiquette. If a friend wants to be generous, you can always say it's an excuse to get people together and that people are asked not to bring gifts. People still will, but that's on their own accord and not because they have to.

We didn't find out the gender with either child either. We have one boy and one girl. Once I felt up to it, I went to buy her clothes and stock up on our own.

I am not a fan of having a post-baby shower, personally. I think it's a presumes that people will bring gifts instead of just letting them come see the baby and bring a gift if they like. As hard as times have been economically the past few years, I'd rather invite people over for a normal get-together so they can see the baby, but not with the expectation of receiving gifts.



answers from Austin on

I would have a lunch party with my lady friends/family at some fancy place and stipulate no gifts. Or maybe a "book party" where everyone brings their favorite children's book. I wouldn't be offended by something like that.
People who are your friends are likely to give you gifts regardless of a party. You can let them know to their face what you want when the time comes.



answers from Detroit on


Some people say its tacky to have more than one shower per MOTHER... Some people say its tacky to have more than one per SEX...

But do these people only celebrate ONE birthday per person in their LIFE? Or ONE christmas per life time?

It is NOT about getting STUFF.... Its about getting together and building bonds with others... If people don't WANT to be included then they can opt out... They DON"T HAVE TO GO!!!! They don't have to bring presents!!!!

Yes, waiting till baby comes will be best since your not finding out...

I am preggers with my 4th and have had a "shower" thrown for me with each one... I don't care if I don't get a single thing... Its more about the fellowship and emotional support that talking and laughing supplys...

Fooey on those who think its all about the materialism...



answers from Pittsburgh on

I don't think a shower is appropriate. Your friends and relatives will most likely buy gifts once the baby is here. Congratulations!

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