Baby Shower for Third Baby

Updated on May 17, 2010
J.M. asks from Grand Prairie, TX
14 answers

I have a few issues with this...
My friend wants to throw me a shower for baby #3. At first I felt really weird about this, but as it turns out, a lot of my baby stuff from my first baby's shower (he's 7 yrs old) was either recalled years ago or broken. So there's a lot of stuff I actually do need. Is it tacky for me to register or should I just ask her to make it a diaper shower?
Also, I've moved about 30 minutes away from where I used to live, so I have friends North of Dallas all the way down to Arlington. If my friend has it at her place my friends who live near me will have to drive far. Otherwise I could have it in my home, but my Dallas friends would have to travel far, then. So...1. what do I do about that? 2. Is it creepy for my shower to be in my own home?
Ugh. When I was young, you had one shower when you were pregnant with your first baby & that was that. I've been to so many showers, over the last few years, though, for second, third, fourth babies...I just don't know WHAT'S appropriate anymore!

Oh--and if anyone has suggestions for a location for a shower that's inbetween Plano and Arlington, TX, that would be awesome!
Thanks, ladies!

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So What Happened?

Oy! I'm even more confused, now! Everyone makes good points. I think I'll tell her to just make it a diaper shower. I'd LOVE to get all the stuff we need from a shower, but it's not worth all the icky feeling I get about the etiquitte of the whole thing. I guess I'm just being a little selfish. After going to ANOTHER 2nd baby baby shower, once, I said to this particular friend (because I thought it was kind of rude) "That's it! Next time I have a baby, I'm throwing myself a huge shower!!!!!" Obviously, my snotty, joking little comment stuck with my sweet friend, so as soon as I told her my news (never remembering that I said that until afterwards) she immediately said, "I'm throwing you a shower!" I resisted at first, but she's being really sweet & really persuasive, so I feel like I'll let her do something little, at least.
Thanks for all the feedback!

Featured Answers



answers from Boston on

What ever happened to one baby shower when you start out. I do not think its appropriate to have 2 and 3 showers as I have read below. Its up to the parents to buy things when other things have broken or recalled. I would not let anyone have another shower for me, let alone have it at my home. I am sorry but its up to you to replace things.

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answers from Raleigh on

Wow, I am really surprised. Why is 3rd shower tacky? I have had a shower for a friend for her 4th baby.
If people do not want to give gifts and celebrate upcoming arrival than they SHOULD NOT COME!!!!!! Goodness, it's nobody's business what you should have as far as baby gear goes.
I am preg with our 3rd and 2 friends want to have a shower for me. I think that's very sweet of them. So I will not say no.
Honestly I love going to baby showers, love those cute games, "baby" talk , adorable baby stuff. Diapers and wipe shower????What's fun in that????
Let your friend do what she wants to do, people who will think it's tacky obviously do not care much about you and will not show up.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Cincinnati on

I would not have a "shower", but maybe a welcome celebration once the baby arrives to get a few needs items and clothing. If I received a shower invite in the mail for a friends 3rd child, I would be very surprised, and I certainly wouldn't consider buying anything off of a registry. Registries are for FIRST time mothers.

I've had people in my life throw big showers because they're having say a boy after having 2 girls. I disagree. If you want to have a luncheon with your best friends/sisters/mother to get some boy clothes, then yes, go for it. Meet up at a cafe or your favorite restaurant and celebrate the baby.



answers from Philadelphia on

I'm with the people who say only a Shower for the 1st...I have heard of people hosting "Sprinkles", which is really just a small get-together for good friends, close family to hang out and the gifts are small, diapers, wipes, etc. (I guess your "diaper" party.) As far as the big things...maybe one of these people that have had more than 1 big shower have doubles and would be willing to pass them onto you! And I don't think it should be at your house. If people are your close friends, they won't mind the 30 minute drive (which really isn't much).



answers from Atlanta on

It should NOT be at your own home. The friend should host it at her home or somewhere. I am TOTALLY against showers after the first. It's still tacky! However, my group has done a few brunches for subsequent children of friends where the people invited are just our immediate close friends. People do bring things (small things -primarily little outfits or diapers), but we don't register. By the time you're on your third, you should be established enough to go out and buy anything you need to replace or get. The idea of a shower is to help people out who are experiencing a big "first" in life and have quite a lot to purchase to get ready for it.



answers from San Francisco on

I think every baby deserves a baby shower!!!! If you have a lot of things already.. make a suggestion to give you gift cards. My work gave me a HUGE baby shower for my 3rd! ITs not tacky to have it at your house. The shower if for you... if people want to be there THEY WILL.. it doesnt matter where its at!



answers from Philadelphia on

Go for it! I had showers for all 3, though they were smaller affairs for 2 and 3. Register for the items that you need. It's completely reasonable.
As for location... I'd feel funny having it in my own house, but that's just me. Maybe a central location? But, really, 30 minutes isn't too bad to travel



answers from Savannah on

I had a second shower with my 2nd child because there was a 4 year age difference between my children. I had not anticipated having anymore children and we had sold or gave away everything. Literally. so we needed tons of stuff. My family kindof complained thinking it was odd to have another shower---but my friend insisted on throwing one and said if people want to come they will come. So anyhow- I don't think it's tacky. There's quite an age difference and a lot of that stuff is worn. If your friend wants to throw you a shower then let her. I'd let her plan it all and where she wants it though. Don't worry about friends and their travelling and all that. If they can make it---great.....if not oh well.

Oh and like Carla said I'd probably register for smaller items but necessities. We bought the big things like stroller, carseat, crib, etc.



answers from Chicago on

I agree that a shower for #3 is tacky. Showers are meant for gift giving only so calling it a "shower" and registering is asking other people to supply you with all your baby stuff instead of you buying it yourself.

Why not tell your friend to hold off until after the baby is born? Then call it a "meet the baby" party. People will probably bring gifts but they won't feel obligated to "shower the new mother" which in your case, you're not a new mom!



answers from Albany on

We did this with my second son and only did a small registry just because we knew people would want ideas. At that point, my pack and play had gotten ruined so that was the only big thing I had registered for and that shower was at my house. We were living in another state 7 hours away from home when I had our third son and let me tell you, it drove me crazy for a long time that he wasn't "celebrated" because honestly, I see it more as a celebration of the baby himself. Now I am pregnant with baby #4 and I told my husband I don't want a shower should anyone where we are now offer. This baby is our last and I would have an issue feeling like baby #3 was the only one not to have a real shower. Instead, just a few months ago we had a party with old friends back home who had never met baby #3 who is now 2 years old. We didn't have things that specifically mentioned celebrating him but when I planned the get together, I told everyone it was to have the opportunity to introduce him to everyone. I will do something similar with the new baby though hopefully sooner than 2 years. :-|

As for the drive, I had to chuckle that you are worrying about a 30 minute drive. Back home our friends are all spread out and because we didn't know anybody when our second son turned 1, we went back home for a birthday party. My husband's aunt offered to host it for us. The problem is, her house was 2 hours away from my one friend and a good hour from most everyone else. Everyone who mattered though was there because it was important to them. That's what real friends do in my opinion. Don't stress over 30 minutes.


answers from Dallas on

I am expecting Baby #3 in July and my friends are insisting on throwing me a shower too. They don't want to throw a diaper/wipes shower because that is boring and they asked me to register. I felt weird about it too, but decided that they wanted to do it or they wouldn't have asked. So, if your friends want to give you this shower, I say let them. They want to shower you and your baby with love. Enjoy it!



answers from Las Vegas on

No it is not creepy to have the shower in your own home. I have seen it done plenty of times. If anyone were to ask, you just mention you just wanted to be accommodating in regard to location.

I am a bit old school like you in regard to ~ how many showers are you going to have...better yet, how many babies are you going to have. With that said, there is still nothing wrong with celebrating the birth of your child. You can register, but what I would (personally) do is ask for things of smaller value.

My last note on that is who to invite. I would say your closest friends or family members. I have relative that only call and ask for my address when it is baby shower time. I recognize this.



answers from Dallas on

Okay, this is just my opinion...

Showers are meant to help people who are just starting out and have nothing. This being your third baby, you aren't starting out anymore. I wouldn't say it's really "tacky" but I think it might rub people the wrong way. Like, just another excuse to get more presents. I think if people will want to give you a gift, they won't need a shower to do it. They'll just give you a gift when the baby is born anyway.

I'd suggest just having a "Let's Celebrate J.'s 3rd Baby!" Luncheon. On the invitations, you could suggest that people bring items to be donated to a local pregnancy center.

I've had 5 kids, and I had 3 showers with my first baby. My church threw me a surprise shower with my 3rd, but the gifts were all hand-made.

I don't doubt that people want to wish you and your baby well as well as celebrate another beautiful baby being born. But I think it's just wiser to not invite people to a party in which they are required to bring a gift again. There are already so many events nowadays that we DO have to bring gifts to, that this seems excessive (even though I understand it's not your idea.)



answers from Grand Rapids on

I would try to find a place that's about half way between the two places fo everyone drives equal distance. But 30 minutes drive time isn't bad either for anyone.

If a lot of the people that are coming to the shower, don't really want to get big things, then you should ask for a diaper shower, but if you really need things, then register. Like you said more and more mom's are having showers for each kid, so it's not uncommon to register. And you can register for smaller things such as toys, and clothes. And if you need a crib, why not put it on their. you might find a few friends that will go in together and buy it for you.

I am having baby number 2 in august and i kind of wish I did have a sexond shower, only because my first child is a girl and this one is a boy. And of course someone bought me a pink stroller and carseat, instead of the nuetral color we wanted, so i have to go out and spend money on a new one as i won't put my boy in the bring pink carseat.

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