Baby Regestry for Second Child?

Updated on July 31, 2008
C.G. asks from Decatur, IL
54 answers

I was wondering what other moms thought about making a baby registry when you are having a second child. Should you do it or not? The circumstances surounding this are our first child is 18 mo., not sleeping in the crib still, (so we don't need another) we have most of the furniture that we need. We are having a girl this time and our older child is a boy, so we would mostly be registering for things like onesies, blankets, burp cloths diapers, etc.; the things that individually don't cost much but together add up. No one is throwing a baby shower.
I am mostly wondering because I am not wanting to seem like we are "asking people to buy us things or come across as rude. I know it isn't considered rude to have a registry if you are having multiples, or if it has been several years since you had a baby, but neither of those applies to us. I wouldn't have even thought about starting a registry but I got one of those magazines advertising in the mail yesterday, and it got me thinking about it. I appreciate everyones opinions, Thanks.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Well, my daughter surprised us by arriving 2 months early (actually the day after I posted this) and I obviously didn't make a registry, although I had pretty well decided not to register by that time. Thank you everyone for responding, though my insinctual opinion was that it would be a little tacky. It turns out too, that because of her early arrival, a ton of people have bought us clothes (I think people like having an excuse to buy those teeny-tiny preemie and newborn sized outfits). Thanks again.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.D.

answers from Bloomington on

My sister just had her second baby. Another boy. She asked the same question. My mom thought it was inappropriate but we did not feel the same way. We did enough research about throwing a "baby sprinkler" that we convinced her that it is no longer considered rude or inapproriate. Most people in this generation now don't look at it this way. They look at it as each child needs their own day and what a great way to do it. So I gave her a "baby sprinkler". (this is waht it is called after the first baby is born).She put just the few items that she did not receive with her first that she found she could use with her second that she never got. No one questioned it. And she received most of the things she asked for. It was a fun way to be introdcued to the new baby(we didn't have it until after he was born, get together and have fun. We put on the invitations that this was a way to meet the baby, play games and eat, then at the bottom we added "if interested registered at: blah blah blah" When you went to the regisrty wou could tell that there weren't a ton of things and nothing really big or expensive. We planned on throwing a party anyway, so we tried to make it easier for people to decide on what to buy if bringing a gift. That way they were not calling my sister non stop. I am guessing that things were different in my mom's generation than they are now since no one even blinked an eye when invited. I would go ahead and do it and have fun!
Hope this helps,
S. D

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

O.M.

answers from Chicago on

I have never loved the idea of a second baby shower/registry for many of the reasons already mentioned. However, my friend who threw my first one 4 years ago for my daughter wants to throw me another because I am having twins (boy/girl). (Also, I actually never owned a lot of the big basics because people lent them to me originally.) Even so, I was still a bit uncomfortable with having a 2nd shower until we had an idea that may be able to tweak to work for you...

She is making it a green shower - inviting people to "recycle" or even lend their old baby things, or peruse summer garage sales on my behalf (since I am already getting too large to do a lot of my own legwork). To keep it limited to the things that would really be useful, I created a wishlist. My friend is keeping track of so that she can let people know what I still might need.

If you are like me you probably already have friends who are offering their old things anyway. I feel like this is a nice way to gather the things I'll need, and also enjoy spending time with friends.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.H.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C.,
Don't listen to the some of these moms! I had baby #2 last August and my family requested I register because they knew I had most things but wanted to know what I really needed. I had the same situation...boy first, then a girl. So if you still feel weird about doing a registry...then do a wish list for family and friends. Most stores like Walmart and Target have wish lists. Send it out to them, this way they know what you are needing.
Congrats and Good Luck!

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.D.

answers from Chicago on

Personally, I don't think it is appropriate to do a registry for baby #2 sans shower, and to be frank, I almost find it a bit vulgar. It is not an opinion I would normally volunteer, but since you asked! : )

It is more than a little like asking people to buy you things, it is also showing that you expect they'll buy you things - almost obligating them to do so. When you are having your first baby, yes! You need stuff! And lots of it. Everyone knows that most people could not afford to stock their home with everything necessary for a first baby - this is why we have showers the first time around. And to prevent people from doubling up on what they buy and to help them sort through all the different things that are out there, we need registries. But now you have all the big bulky and expensive basics. You're just looking for little things like clothing and burpies (and diapers?!? Come on). You shouldn't expect others to supply that for you - you need to be prepared to buy those things for yourself. Yes, these costs do add up - unfortunately, that is part of life with a new baby. And if you can't afford that, then you've got a long road ahead with 2 kids!

Now, all that being said, you do know that when the baby is born, friends and family will shower her with all the gifts you need anyway - probably more than you need - without you having to ask for them. People will want to celebrate your new baby joy and none of them will come to see that new baby empty-handed. And unless they live under a rock, these people will realize that you will be in need of girl-type things. You don't have to insult them by setting up a registry. Besides, how would you even tell them about this registry? Doesn't that seem like an awkward conversation?

I apologize for being so blunt, but there just doesn't seem to be any other way to address this question. And I guess when you ask for opinions, you need to be prepared to get them! In the end, you need to of course do what seems best for you. But if one of my friends set up a registry like that, I'd think they were being a little presumptuous - and I'd be highly disappointed in them.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.

answers from Chicago on

Sorry in advance if this sounds rude, but this is really tacky. Your first child isn't even two yet! I've heard of people doing a registry for a child who is many years younger (about a 10 yr. gap), but that is a special situation. If you register that would be beyond tacky. People WILL buy you things--everyone loves a new baby so why register? They will love to buy "pink" things. Also, why get new burp cloths and bibs? Do these items really need to be gender specific?? Do NOT do it!! Buy yourself a couple packs of onsies and sleepers and re-use the others.

Congrats on your second baby!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.P.

answers from Chicago on

Okay I don't think it is tacky!! I am having number two in August and I DID register. I did it for family..my parents and in-laws mainly. They will be wanting to get us some items so I felt the easiest way to show them what we want is to register. We registered for a double stroller, car seat, new bottles, etc, etc. If you feel like you need to register then do it. Just because you register doesn't mean you are EXPECTING a shower. Congrats on the baby...isn't it fun being pregnant during the summer ;)

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.E.

answers from Chicago on

Congratulations on your up coming baby.

It is really up to you if this is the norm for moms to do it in the area you live, then go for it but I just think it like you a begging for gifts.
I don't want to sound rude so sorry but registering for a second baby is just not something I would do.

Good Luck on your New Baby ^j^

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.A.

answers from Chicago on

I would not and did not create a registry. My first child's shower was planned and I had complications, it was cancelled and I ended up not getting anything for her except a few items. I however did not expect anything from anyone. My second there was not a shower just a few misc. gifts. Some that I didn't need that had gift reciepts or tags that I knew where they were from got exchanged for the things needed like diapers. On my third I recieved one gift that was new an ornament with his name on it and then alot of handme down gifts since it was our first boy. I am in the school that you can have shower for the first(I still question the whole registry thing, it still is asking people to spend money on what you chose instead of a real gift/surprise from their heart). If someone asks you what you would like be prepared with a general statement of babies can always use .... fill in the blank. Don't however say babies can always use the tropical bouncy chair that they sell at Target. Fill in the blank with something that has a flexible lower pricepoint...diapers, type of bottle you intend to use, sleepers, socks....keep it low priced.

As my Mother said to me don't expect a shower, if you need one to afford the child you are having, maybe you should think good and hard how you will afford the future because that is alot more expensive than a package of diapers or onsie.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.S.

answers from Chicago on

Do not do it. Congrats. on your second baby!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.D.

answers from Springfield on

I would say registering is probably not a good idea if no one is throwing a shower. BUT....you should throw a welcome baby party after she is born. While some people think 2nd, 3rd etc baby showers are tacky (still living in the past I guess), I feel like each child should have their special day. A few weeks after your little one is born you throw the welcome baby party for friends and family to come meet your little.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.K.

answers from Chicago on

Apparently People here Cant Read either. and What is up with that one post talking about the gravy train totally calling you irresponsible...Reading these responses is really getting me fired up. HOW RUDE!!!!!! Some of these posters need to get off their high horse.
By the way the Miss Manners Guide to Congeniality says a registry for a second baby is absolutely acceptable and welcome.
Why Is everyone commenting as if youre asking about a shower??? Your post clearly states that there is no shower, therefore What is the big deal? By REGISTERING You're not asking for gifts, though letting those who want to buy you gifts know what you need. Taking the two babies out to do returns and exchanges of a bunch of items you already have or just don't need to get what you do in fact need within the first few months is a pain in the rear.

I just had a daughter and my kids are 18 months apart. I went through all of his old things and pulled out anything that she could use (plain onsies, burp rags, some tee-shirts, jeans, car seat covers, baby carriers etc...), then created a registry for the things I still needed or was missing (sheets, blankets, towels, sleep sacks, swaddle blankets, bottle nipples, clothes hamper). I didnt announce it, though was surprised when many of my friends used it. I viewed it as more of a shopping guide for myself so when I went to get ready for the baby I didnt forget something important or go overboard. Come on preggo brain plus mom brain, I would have come home with a whole lot of junk for my son, and missing vitals for the new baby.

Congrats on the new baby!!!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.E.

answers from Chicago on

Personally, I find it inappropriate and it could come across to some people as being "greedy". Especially since you just had a shower for your son only just about a year or so ago. Once you have the baby, people will more than likely give you gifts for her anyway. I'm sure you have some neutral onesies and blankets, etc. that were your sons that you can use with baby #2 as well. The rest people will either give you on their own choice as a gift or you can pick up easily enough at Target or Walmart or wherever.
I don't mean to come across as rude, but I just think it's kind of inappropriate to register for gifts when your kids are this close in age. My cousin is having a baby shower for her 4th baby this month, but her other three kids are 21, 16 and 15 YEARS old! So, needless to say, she has absolutely NO baby things of any kind anymore. I can accept a registry for that case, but when they are only a year or so apart....I don't think it's right.
I hope you don't mind my opinion.
Good luck with your new baby and congratulations!!! I hope she brings you a lifetime of happiness. :-)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.P.

answers from Chicago on

Sorry but I wouldn't expect anyone to throw a baby shower for baby number 2 - unless their children were 10 years + apart (I have gone to one of those). Knowing that you are having a shower makes it necessary to register. If you were having multiples and it was the first child/children then it makes sense for people to celebrate all of them. My children are three years apart - boy/girl and I would not have even considered having someone throw me a shower or ask for gifts, which is what you are doing when you register. Close family and friends will be gracious enough to bestow presents on your new infant. They may also ask your needs and pass the word around in case someone asks them what you could use. Grandma's and sisters are great for that purpose! Congratulations on baby #2

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.

answers from Chicago on

You don't need one and I don't think you need a shower either. My BEST 2nd and 3rd baby gifts where meals delivered each night for a month after the babies birth. Priceless. Congrats on your new baby girl.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Chicago on

I just wanted to respond that it has nothing to do with the time frame between children. It has been my experience that you register once. You mostly get large items and things that will help you on your way to starting a family. With each child after that, people will usually drop by with birth gifts that are gender appropriate. I think it looks as if you expect other people to cover the expense of your new baby's things when you register a second time. That being said, I would still throw one heck of a first birthday party to celebrate your little girl's life! Congratulations!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.P.

answers from Chicago on

C.,
Wow! What a HOT topic. I just wanted you to know that I think this is definitely a generation gap thing, for the most part. I know my very awesome aunt thought wedding registries were tacky when my cousin got married 20 years ago. Yet, she is the first one to ask me "Is so-and-so registered anywhere?" for baby and wedding gifts nowadays...

Registries, esp. for babies, are in NO WAY greedy or tacky. Unless you send out birth announcements with "I'm registered at..." printed on the bottom - It's not asking for gifts, it's just putting together a wish list for people who are interested. I wish people had ongoing registries all the time - It would make birthday gift giving a little easier! And some people are so silly - just because someone has a registry does not mean you have to give off that. If you have a great idea "from the heart" - give away. You shouldn't feel badly about that. So silly.

Best wishes for your family!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.D.

answers from Chicago on

My husband and I created a registry for our third child. It was mostly to serve as a guideline for my mother-in-law, because she wanted to give us gifts, but her taste is quite different than that of my husband and me. We didn't advertise it to anyone or let anyone know, but people found it. I think it's a good way to steer people who want to give you gifts but don't necessarily know what to get or know what's appropriate.
I know some people think it's a little tacky, but it's usually helpful!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.H.

answers from Springfield on

Wow. These responses are something else. Apparently the first born is the only one that matters! I kind of feel sorry for them. The anger and self righteousness and judgement that they are holding onto amazes me. Anyway, I don't see a thing wrong with it. EVERY new life is a celebration. EVERY child deserves to be celebrated and welcomed into the world. I fail to see why this is a big deal. To me, that is what a baby shower is all about. If people don't want to buy anything they won't. If they do, I'm sure they'd appreciate guidance. Congratulations, by the way and don't be discouraged.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C.,

Congratulations! I think a registry would be inappropiate.

I too had a boy first. When I was pregnant with my daughter, family members and friends would asked if there was anything we needed for the baby; I would reply "we'll always need diapers". It was so nice not having to buy diapers for several months. We did recieve little girl stuff too (mainly outfits). The money we saved on the diapers paid for all the "things that add up".

Good Luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C.,
I would NOT register for this 2nd baby. It is not proper etiquette especially if you had a shower for your first. If people specifically ask you what you need/what for this one, I think it is ok to let them know that you are really in need of the basics - burp clothes, blankets etc.
What will most likely happen is that once people know you are having a girl this time around, you will get things for her - outfits/toys etc. Perhaps you can return or exchange some gifts for more pratical things like diapers etc.
Hope this helps.
Good luck!
M.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.M.

answers from Chicago on

After reading the responses, I think that a registry would be a good idea. Since there is no shower planned, I don't see why a registry has to be equated with the idea of asking for gifts. A baby needs a lot of things; just because you have one child doesn't mean you would have everything needed for the second (or third, etc.). A friend of mine had her second recently, and I had asked if there was anything she needed. Her reply was her registry which I found convenient as a gift-giver. When I heard she had a registry, the thought of her being greedy or asking for gifts never entered my mind.

I also wondered as well...why not have showers for children that are not the first-born? Showers celebrate a new life so why should the first-born only have them? I think the second or third showers wouldn't have to be as elaborate as a first, but still a nice idea.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.F.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with most of the posts on this...don't do it. I had a boy/girl 17 months apart and when my daughter was born she received many, many gender specific outfits and toys. I reused my sons bibs, burb cloths, PJ's, etc...because these items don't really need to be girly if you can't afford it or don't wnat to waste money on new ones when the old work perfectly. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

Congratulations on your expanding family!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.S.

answers from Chicago on

Congrats!
Without sounding too blunt, it's terribly inappropiate to register with your babies being so close in age. We are all so thrilled for our friends and family when they have a new addition, and naturally we buy birth gifts. But, having the registery is just not gracious. It screams you weren't generous the first time around. All those close to you are going to know what to buy ... CLOTHING and diapers.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.T.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C.,

I guess you could register, but I wouldn't verbally announce it. If people asked you if there was anything you needed you could point them in the direction. But having 2 children so close together in age an having all the big stuff - that little stuff adds up but will not add up to much. Normally when you send out announcements about the birth of the child, family tends to send some sort of a gift. Your family will know that the second baby is a girl and should be in tune with the fact that the first was a boy and will realize your needs. (We hope!)

C.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.D.

answers from Chicago on

Congratulations!

Etiquette sometimes is SO overated. The true people in your life won't judge you.

My mother-in-law threw my shower for baby #1. Because of "proper etiquette", I sat around waiting to see if one of my sisters were going to do something for baby #2 & 3, and nothing. I know you mentioned that there wont be a baby shower but I REGRET to this day that I, myself didn't do some sort of dinner/party in honor of my unborn children. I didn't want to appear to be greedy since I had most of what I needed already.

I believe every baby deserves acknowledgement and is special. Even if it's something simple, CELEBRATE your beautiful unborn baby and get registered for those who opt to shop off of a registry.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would definitely create a registry for the second child. I think that is the hardest time to buy for people is when they have a second child because you aren't really sure what the family needs. It's not that your asking for gifts but there will be people out there who are going to buy for you and they would appreciate the guidance. I think especially because you are registering for all the little stuff people would understand it provides them with direction.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.A.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C., I think whether you are having your 1st or your 2nd a registry is a great way to tell people what you really need. People will buy you gifts for the baby (especially since your having a girl this time) and this way you can let them know what you really need. If no one buys anything from the registry, no harm done. But at least you can give people ideas of what you would like or need. Good luck!

R.V.

answers from Chicago on

You already have so many responses, but I just wanted to add 2 things...

#1. It is NOT tacky to register just so long as you don't announce it. It would be handy to have if someone asks what you would like/need for the baby, you can just say "Oh, well you don't have to get me anything, but if you want to I'm registered at ..."

#2. SEVEN YEARS??? That is a bit excessive of a time in between. I was always told 3 - 5 years (shorter if it is a different sex than last time)... but once again, that is for a shower... not to register.

B.K.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with Courtney that some moms apparently didn't read your entire question before posting very judgmental and rude comments (i.e. Barb L.'s comment about the gravy train and telling you to grow up. Wow. We're all adults here, just asking for help or input, and NOBODY has the right to tell anybody to grow up.)

I know you asked for opinions, and there are those for and against and they all have good reasons. But to post rudely is just inane.

That said, I might have been one to say no gift registry, but just a month ago, my NEW neighbor just had her FIFTH child. And I really wanted to buy a gift but wasn't sure what to get. So even in that case, a registry would have been neat because it sure would have helped me. I did find something, but never thought about a registry for kids after number one. I wouldn't look at it as a grab for gifts, because you aren't soliciting anyone -- just telling them that option is there if they ASK. Anyhow, you have lots of good advice on here, give or take a few bad apples. I hope you have a healthy, happy baby girl!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.T.

answers from Chicago on

Hello second-time mom I am a daycare provider ' in the Hanoverpark area looking for work I have great references
an Iam willing to travel so if ever you need care that is second to only your own contact [email protected]____.com iam in the
Irvingpark wise rd,near Culvers resturant'please pass this on thanks HAVE GREAT Blessed Days.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.L.

answers from Chicago on

sorry you had to have some harsh comments. I would not register because frankly whether you intend it or not...registering for the second time is perceived as presumptous and expected that people will buy for you and it is tacky. At this point since your son is a year old you should have many of the essentials...If however, you are having a girl this time around...when people ask you what you need then I certainly would be direct in what you would appreciate...Good luck and best wishes for your 2nd child.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.C.

answers from Peoria on

Hi C.,

I was not going to respond to you, but after reading some of the thoughts that people have shared with you. Some of them, are totally RUDE! I feel that each and every baby deserves new things.

I had my daughter when I was young. I did not receive a shower or anything. Now, my daughter is 12 and my son is 8 months. However, I did receive a shower for my son. We had nothing for him. Anyway, where I am going is... my husband and I are trying to have our third baby. When it is time, I am going to create a wish list.

I feel you should to what YOU want to do and not what others tell you to do. Besides, none of us here are going to know what you did and didn't do.

Even if you have all the money in the world, I would still create a wish list. Like I said before, every baby deserves something new and to be treated as the first one.

I find it insane that after some of these people are totally rude to you, then at the end they tell you congrats.

If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. I think you should do what you want and not worry about anyone else!!!!

Congrats with your daughter! Enjoy both of your children! They grow up way to fast!!

L.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C.! Congrats! I'm not gonna take the time to read the other posts as it seems some may just irritate me so just gonna give my opinion.

I think its ok to register especially in the case of the opposite sex child as the first. I recently heard of a person who is throwing a "sprinkle" rather than a shower for someone that is having the opposite sex child. Close friends and family are going to get your something either way so may as well be something you'll need! (And an excuse to have a party!)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.D.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with the majority. I would personally be offended and frustrated if someone I knew registered for a baby gift when their children were so close in age. I would feel obligated to send a gift off the registry and if I didn't, it would make me feel bad.

Your children are really to close together to warrant this. I would say a 7 year gap plus warrants another baby shower and/or if you are having multiples (2 plus babies).

Congrats!
N.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Whenever it is time to have my second baby, I will not be registering. I just don't feel right doing so. Other people feel totally fine with it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.L.

answers from Rockford on

I have thrown showers for people with their 2nd, or 3rd child. I feel every child needs one, but the individuals did not register, but informed people what they might like. I usually have people bring a package of diapers (different sizes depending of their last name) and/or their favorite book. Congrats on the new baby:)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.R.

answers from Chicago on

Of course a magazine or store ad will encourage you to register! Anyone else remember the 'Babies R Us' registry checklists? While it has some great ideas, has anyone ever really *needed* a dozen baby washcloths? The point of the magazines and store circulars is to convince you that you can't possibly live without their product, so don't take the bait. It's all about them getting you and your friends/family in the store to spend, spend, spend!

I'm with the majority here; a registry for a second baby comes across as rude and greedy.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.G.

answers from Chicago on

I would definately NOT have a baby registry for child #2. I think that most people would be insulted or feel that it is tacky. People will most likely bring you small gifts when they come to visit and they will probably be all of the things that you mentioned you needed. My daughters are one year apart, and people brought gifts when they came to see my second baby.

Also, you mentioned that your 18 month old still does not sleep in his crib.....I would definately advise you to get him on a routine that includes sleeping in his crib. You will be much happier when your second baby comes if your older baby is on a schedule and goes into his crib to sleep!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.N.

answers from Chicago on

Dear C.,

It's traditionally inappropriate to have a second shower, however, there is nothing stopping you from registering and then if friends and family do ask what you would like for your new born, you can point them to the registry.

Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.C.

answers from Chicago on

Piling on to make you feel better. Just had my second, a girl. First child was a boy, almost 2. Registered mostly to remind myself what we needed, and in case anyone asked. Bought most of the stuff off it myself.

Hey -- they'll send you a 10% off completion coupon too before your due date! Wish I'd known!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.M.

answers from Springfield on

Hi C.:

I think that if you only put the "essentials" on the registry than it shouldn't be a problem. Most "second" babies are thrown a "diaper" shower. Good luck with your new little bundle of joy.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.K.

answers from Chicago on

I wouldn't register unless someone is throwing you a shower .Also, unless it's been years since your last child,there is no reason to register. some people will think it's inappropriate. Good luck with your baby girl!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.N.

answers from Chicago on

Hi,

When I had my second baby, three years from the first, I didn't register. I also had a boy the first and knew I was having a girl the second. I bought some clothes and it just turned out that family friends who usually come to visit always bring gifts anyway. On the other hand, my sister in law had twins, same time frame as me - our kids our ten days apart, and had an actual shower before they were born. Her first was a girl and the twins were girls also but of course wanted them to dress alike for awhile. I think it just depends. If you're talking clothes mostly, then I'd wait to see what gifts you get unless there are specific things you want. I hope this helps.

N.P.

answers from Chicago on

Congratulations. It is polite to only have a shower/baby registry for your first child. One circumstance could be if a mom is having a child and there is a HUGE age difference (6+ years) one of your friends might throw you a little "get back into the swing of things" shower (I had a friend who did that for one of her friends). But having a registry for a 2nd child with only 18month difference isn't acceptable. This is just my belief. People will buy you gifts when you send out an announcement.

J.P.

answers from Chicago on

In your situation, I think the only way it's right to have one is if you did not have a shower for your first baby. (I delivered 5 days before my baby shower because my twins came almost 10 weeks early) We never rescheduled the baby shower. Some of the people on the guest list still dropped off a gift at the house.
If you really think you need new things for your second baby, you could have a "baby arrival" party after the baby is home from the hospital. (I I were in your shoes, I'd rather do a few guests per visit.... rather than a large party.) It's really okay to use burp bibs, blankets, etc... that have blue in it for a girl:) I personally, don't think it's a big deal.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.P.

answers from Chicago on

C.,
I can't believe the hostility and negativity of some of the answers you were given. Frankly, I'm shocked.
I have known two friends who had girls first and then had a boy. Both of them registered even though they didn't have a shower. Both friends had people asking if there was anything they needed for the second baby, and it was so easy to say that they were registered and the gift giver could pick an item of need from the list. Neither of my friends solicited the registry, but if they were asked, they could offer the registry.
Personally, I am pregnant and the new baby will be born when my daughter is 19 months. If the new baby turns out to be a boy, I will register. I don't need big items, like swings, bathtubs, or carseats, but it would be nice to have some boy-related items, and if some well-meaning friend wants to get me just what I want, the registry will serve perfectly!
I see no problem creating a registry. It's actually an easy way to help out friends and family who want to honor the new baby with the perfect gift. Every baby deserves a gift that comes from loved ones, not just your first baby. And, every new Mama deserves it too, even if she is already a Mom to twenty kids!
Good luck to you, and remember that your second baby deserves every attention that was bestowed upon your first baby. This isn't about greed, it's about welcoming a new baby into the world.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

You do not register for second child. People will buy you gifts and probably give more if you don't register. I think it's crazy when people have multiple showers and register with each child. After you have your first child, it is up to you, the parent to buy anything new that's needed. Even if you needed additional furniture,it's your responsibility. Sometimes it's nice to go and buy someone a gift and just pick it out on your own.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.G.

answers from Chicago on

If no one is throwing you a shower, how would you let people know that you had registered? I have a 2 yr old boy and am due with boy #2 in Sept also. I had thought about this too. But I also figured I would feel silly telling people I had registered again. I just letting people know what I would like when they ask. That way I figured if they are asking it is not imposing on obligation to buy a gift the second time around.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.H.

answers from Chicago on

Your instincts are clear. No registry. You have all the right reasons so don't question yourself. Sorry, you're on your own with this child. Maybe parents and siblings can help out if you can't afford too.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.A.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C.. I personally would not register. I have 2 kids and did not register for my 2nd. I would not be afraid to speak up though when people ask you what you need. I would honestly tell people (if they asked) that I could use some diapers. Also, I would try to get by with your son's old stuff even if it is blue, like onsies, etc, that stuff does add up and they wear it for such a short period of time. There are also some second hand boutiques of stuff that has barely been worn (like Second Child on Armitage in the city). I also would not be afraid to ask around if you know someone who is done having kids if they have anything they are getting rid of... I got a ton of stuff that way of stuff that would have gone to salvation army, so people were happy to give it to someone they know. Good Luck.
T.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Chicago on

My kids are 21 months apart...my oldest is a boy and my youngest is a girl. I did not have a baby shower with my second pregnancy. People did bring her little gifts like outfits, etc and that was much appreciated but certainly not necessary.

In all the baby shower experiences and new babies I know, I've only had one "second baby" shower. That was for a friend who delivered her first baby suddenly at 32 weeks, on the day of her shower. We all wanted her to have that excitement and joy (if you've ever had a preemie you know that's scary as heck). Her daughter was 4. In this case they chose not to learn the sex of the baby, so it was good "old fashioned" not knowing the gender fun for everyone who wanted to show the mom how much we loved her and let her experience the joy of a shower. And she did not know about the shower so she did not register. She got a ton of useful, beautiful and wonderful things without a registry.

Honestly, too, if people ask you "what can you use" or "what would you like for the new baby" then keep a little list going. But don't register. It's sort of like Christmas or birthday gifts for kids. The registry just comes across tacky to most people. It 's not worth offending lots of people just to make a couple happy.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.C.

answers from Bloomington on

Yeah, it would be kind of crass. If you are anything like me you received a lot of clothing as gifts even from people who weren't invited to a shower, so you can expect that again, I'm sure. That will only leave you with a few items to purchase yourself.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think you should register. Your first child is still very young and you have most everything that you actually need. Some people will still give gifts specific to the gender, so I'm sure you will get girl things, but there will be some things that you'll have to buy on your own. I think it would not be in good taste to register in your situation. People will think you are asking for gifts.

Congratulations on your new baby.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.T.

answers from Chicago on

I think you should do what you want. Only you know your family and friends best and can probably determine whether or not they will respond in kind or be offended. I don't think registries are requests for gifts. In my opinion, they're wish lists and they can come in handy. When I was pregnant with my triplets, I couldn't have a shower because I was on bed rest for most of my pregnanct. I still created a baby registry (on-line at Babies R Us) for the following reasons:

1. I knew my family and friends would want to know where I was registered. Even though I didn't have a baby shower, the people that love us would still want to send gifts - they didn't need a luncheon as a reason. Solely through word of mouth, people learned where I was registered and sent gifts once the babies arrived.

2. It was a GREAT tool for me to keep track of what I wanted. Once I had the babies and could get up and about, I would go and shop off of my own registry for the items I hadn't received. I didn't have to waste time in the store trying to determine which was the best whatever - this was especially helpful when I was juggling naps and breastfeeding for triplets. I had my list so I could go in and out (or even point and click online) of the store in record time.

Congratulations!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches