Baby Not Wanting to Take Naps, 5 Month Old

Hi K.,

Just found the best book.."The Sleepeasy Solution". I was having a hard time getting my 9 month down for naps and sleeping through the night. You start with their night sleep and go right into training for naps the next day. Literally, he began napping the very next day. Only took 3 days for no crying and now he is beginning to sleep through the night with maybe 1-2 wakings for a couple of minutes, and then he puts himself back to sleep. I wish I got this book earlier, I'm amazed at how well it works.

I had the same problem and discovered that my little one will nap really long and hard in her Rain Forest Swing. The minute she shows signs of being tired (yawning, rubbing her eyes and fussing) I put her in the swing. It has become such a ritual now that she waves her arms and legs in excitement when I start to walk toward the swing. She will sleep through the night in her crib...but just refuses to nap there. Good luck!

I don't see why he has to sleep in the crib for naps, as long as he is sleeping there at night. My sister's grandkids slept fine on their own at night, but never wanted to stop playing and settle for a nap. So she would sit on the couch with them and hold them until they fell asleep, usually 5-10 minutes. Then she would get up and leave them on the couch. When they were too little, she kept them in with pillows. They got their nap and everything was fine.

My daughter would take her naps on the living room floor, but not in her room. I don't know if it is they don't want to miss out on anything, or miss you, but as long as they understand night time is in there room, let them nap where they will, within reason.

My daughter is 18 and looking back, I did a good job, I didn't mess her up too much (lol), but I do wish I had lightened up a bit more than I had. They grow up too fast.

Hello,

I would say if none of the books help and you and your baby are not happy or functioning well I would recommend a sleep consultant.

They can be a bit pricey but worth every penny! My son is 9 1/2 months old and was not sleeping thru the night and his naps were only an hour long IF he took one. I was no longer doing well and I think it was making it even worse for him. He always had puffy eyes so I could tell it was taking a toll on him.

I finally broke down and spent the money and my only regret, I didn't do it sooner! I called Baby Sleep Solutions. She is located in Ventura, CA but she has over the phone, at her office and in home options.

She was here on a Friday and by Sunday morning he slept from 7:30pm - 5:45am! I almost thought I had imagined it. Plus, for his naps, he has slept hour and half to two hours since Saturday.

On a side note, I know people mean well, but please disregard responses that make you feel bad for wanting or needing your baby on a schedule. Every baby and every mom is different. what works for one does not always work for another. You know your baby best and let's face it if we're not happy no one in our family will be. Good Luck!!

Does your baby really NEED to be on a schedule? Possibly you have a reason why he does, but if he doesn't I just wanted you to think about it. I am more of a "natural" style mom. I also have a 5 month old. I do not put my baby on a schedule and it works fabulously for me. I feel my baby and I work as a team. Our goals are to have fun together (play at home, have fun experiences, play dates, etc...) and still make sure we take care of responsibilities (cook/clean, run my business...). When my baby is hungry... I feed him. When my baby is tired... he sleeps and I lay him down (or leave him how he is ~ maybe I'm carrying him in the sling...). Stop trying to MAKE him go to sleep. Does someone MAKE you go to sleep? Wouldn't that suck? He will sleep when he is tired. Sleep is a necessity so don't worry about it. If you tried this more natural approach and took him off his schedule I think you'd find it easier. He might be screwy for a short time but then his circadian rhythm would kick in and he'd sleep when it's dark and (mostly) be awake when it's light.

I liked Ellen C's response about why your DS is responding that way. It makes sense to me. At this age, I don't agree with any kind of "crying it out", but I also home birthed, breastfeed and sleep with my baby. These things seem natural to me and I hate that there are so many books out there telling you to do otherwise.

We have always played music for our son. That has seemed to comfort him.

Hello K.,

When my daughter was younger (she's 14 months old now) she went thru a phase where her naps were shorter and shorter. She used to take 2 naps - one morning and one afternoon. During the 4-5 month span they were constantly interrupted. I learned that our babies go thru growth spurts that really affect their sleep habits. Think about it... their little brains are working so fast at learning new things and growing and developing. I would suggest you follow your babies cues and let him nap when he tells you he is ready. He WILL cue you when he's ready.

I am an attached parent and a strong believer in following babies cues. I have always done this with my beautiful sweet angel and she consistently naps everyday for about 2 hours. I never had her on a "schedule" - she just cued me when she was tired and it DID HAPPEN to fall around the same time everyday. I would begin my day noticing what time she woke up and then know in my mind that at about 3 or so hours later she would probably be tired... and low and behold 3 or so hours later she would begin to rub her eyes and get sleepy. I would nurse her (and still do) to sleep and since she was so tired when I lay her down in her crib she would ALWAYS stay asleep. :)

If it's the crib that's waking him up than I would suggest you try letting him nap in your bed (or another bed). Just wrap pillows around him. I let my baby girl nap in my bed and most of the time I would nap with her! It was so nice!!! Every now and then when I am extra tired I will lay her in my bed and we will still nap together. OR you can let him nap in his swing. My daughter napped in her swing for a while too... Try other locations that are safe (where he won't roll off) and see how that works!

If you are determined to stick with the crib than I would just suggest you let him tell you when he's tired. Then nurse him and gently lay him down. This phase will pass (as they all do)!

**Please do NOT let your baby CIO. When you get advice to let your baby cry and it is followed by, "it's hard, but do not give in", that is just horrible and sad. It is HARD because you are fighting your natural mommy instinct to comfort your crying baby!!!!!!!!! Babies cry because they NEED you. I like how Nadja F. put it... babies are to LOVE!! :)

Good luck!!!!

Wow, 5 months old is so early for him to start not taking naps. I would suggest doing everything possible for him to be tired when nap time comes. Try bringing him to the park, the little gym, an hour or so of 'rough house', swim lessons, crawling, long walks, etc. I know he is young to do swim lessons etc, but it never hurts. Also a baby needs to feel full to be ready to sleep, are you feeding him right before nap time? Maybe he's ready for more solids or solids plus breast milk... How long is he crying before he will go to sleep? The amount of time he needs to cry himself to sleep may be reasonable, it's up to you as his mama; if this is a fairly new part to your routine, he will catch on soon. Good luck K. (=

My daughters (twins) both slept in their cribs at night-time, but didn't like to nap in there. Up until they were about 8 or 9 months old, they slept in the cradle swings that we had put in our family room. It was very soothing. I also followed Dr. Harvey Karp's book, Happiest Baby on the Block, and provided the girls with white noise while they slept. They make white noise machines, but we chose a CD that plays nature sounds like rain, the ocean and babbling brook. We just pushed repeat on the CD player and let it play throughout their nap. My girls still sleep with the rain playing at night and they are 3 1/2 years old.

K., you may not like my advice, but do what you are doing, but leave him in his crib for the duration you want his nap time to be. if you take him back out every time he cries, then he will cry, if you start a habit with him by taking him out of his crib at nap time cause he cries, he will cry cause it get's him what he wants. J.

Hi, I know that all the books tell you to put your baby down awke, but, at that age, it gets hard. I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old, and they both started going down easily for naps once they were crawling/walking (and much more tired). So, unless you hate sitting there and nursing/rocking, don't worry too much about giving him this crutch. It won't last forever, and you can start getting tough when you know that he is truly tired from all of his activity during the morning.

Hi K.! I feel for you...my babies will turn 5 months in just a few days and Ive been having a problem getting my one twin boy to nap. Have you tried putting some toys in the crib and a soother? I have the fisher price rainforest soother in his crib and half the time it works wonders. I press play and he stares at it until he falls asleep. Now the other half of time he just screams his head off and I go in every 5 minutes and put the pacifier back in his mouth...he DOES eventually go to sleep though. Also have you tried putting him in a swing? My other twin hates napping his is crib, but LOVES to nap in his swing. Luckily they both like to sleep at night in their cribs.

Hi K.,

I am a stay-at-home-Mommmy to beautiful twin boys -- now 4 -- and hate to tell you, but they NEVER napped for me. When they were quite young -- about 5 months -- the napping stopped. Everyone kept telling me how ALL children nap, and how tired they are going to be, and they will certainly develope ADD...

Thankfully, they are PERFECT. Some kids just do not need naps! Unfortunately, that means more work for for Mommy! Hopefully it is just a quirk in the system, and your angel will be napping again soon, but I am living proof that all kids are different, and your baby may just not nap.

Now, if the problem is that he just doesn't like to be in his crib alone, unfortunately, you're going to have to bite the bullet and let him self-soothe. I know it's hard to hear your baby cry, but as long as you know he is okay in his crib, he will eventually learn to fall asleep on his own. Believe me, I know how hard it is. I would usually be sitting in the hallway crying myself! This too will pass!;)

Hope this was helpful! Good luck!

Lay him down, let him cry for 8-30 min whatever you're comfortable with, he'lllearn. Also, look at your schedule when you're laying him down, too early or too late & over tired. Are you allowing mini naps in the car or stroller and then he's not ready for a longer nap later....

Hi K.
my daughter just turned 5 months old a few days ago. one thing i have realized is that she doesnt like me out of the room for very long at this age. regardless if she is napping or playing. its like a sense that they have. so what i have done during the day so that she gets her nap in is, i have set up a space for her where i am. say a blanket folded on the floor out of the way or one of the portable pack in plays, if your worried about anything bothering them. that way i am able to get the "chores" done, read, watch t.v., simply get my own own down time. plus i think its more comforting for them and easier to build that trust when they wake and see you near-bye.

i think that babies at this age have the out of sight, out of mind thing going. they remember you, but think you gone when they cant see you. hahaha my daughter has taught herself a high-pitched squeal that gets my attention so i can remind her that i havent gone anywhere.

hope this helps :D

Dear K.,
L\Put your 5 month old in the crib, after lunch, bath, or whatever your schedule is for him. If he cries, and there is nothing wrong(stomach ache,etc.), let him cry. It is difficult, but do NOT give in . He will learn that it is naptime and eventually start napping on schedule!
If there is not any schedule, THAT is the problem.
Good Luck,
C. S.

My first baby never could be laid down to sleep anywhere . . . I learned to nurse lying down with her in the middle of our big king-sized bed. Then I could gently steal away if I had to, but mostly I just napped with her! Also, I would keep inspiring reading material handy, plus a water bottle, and enjoyed my relaxing time. Remember, babies are to love.

I have to say i agree with kim, my lil' girl will be 1 on may 31 and still to this day she naps in her rain forest swing. In fact just this week i've been putting her in her bed to sleep because she's getting to big for the swing.
Good luck

Hi K.,

My first suggestion would be not to nurse or rock your child to sleep and then putting him into bed. When you do that, your allowing him to sleep in your nice snuggly arms and he's really comfortable feeling your body warmth and hearing your heart beat and, all of a sudden, that's taken away and he's probably feeling the downward shift of his body as he's being lowered into his crib.

Definitely rock him a bit and nurse him before a nap to get him nice and drowsy but, before he starts to drift off, lower him down into his crib and then gently pat or rub his back until he drifts off to sleep. At first he'll object because he's not used to falling asleep this way and it may take him a while to go to sleep on his own but each time you try this tactic, it should get easier to put him down. You can also try to put a rolled up blanket under the length of one side of his body to make him a little bit more comfortable, playing some soothing lullaby music (my kids are older but they love listening the Rock-A-Bye Baby CD that has lullaby versions of U2 songs -- very melodic), making sure that the room is dark and cozy and that the crib is not directly underneath an air draft.

Also, a consistent nap schedule, if you haven't implemented one yet, really does help. Good luck.

It was difficult for my son at that age too since I would let him sleep anywhere, downstairs on the floor or in my bed. But at five months he started taking longer naps and fewer of them. Your son will get used to it. If he is tired he will only cry about 5 minutes before he is out. If he sleeps better on his stomach you might want to try laying him that way during the day when you are close by (just make sure there aren't any pillows or animals in there).

I recommend the Book Baby Wise. It really helped me with my son in bettering his sleeping habits, which helped his eating habits which in turn helped him in being a much happier baby. I got mixed reviews from people when I inquired about it, but I followed the basic plan, without being extreme and it really worked!

My five month old will not take a formal nap either. I was told it is not something to be concerned about as long as he is getting enough sleep at night. He usually snoozes here and there for 10 minutes or 20 minutes while in the car, after nursing, etc. It is exhausting as the caretaker to never get a break, but it not something to worry about. At least you are holding him while he cries. It's so sad to put a baby down and let him cry...five months is too young for that. Don't listen to the people who say you shouldn't hold or rock a baby to sleep. At this age they need to be held and soothed as much as they need. Eventually he will learn to sleep on his own. Not to mention it's one of the biggest joys of parenting, in my opinion! Good luck!

Try Dr. Richard Ferber's sleep book for babies. You can find it at Amazon.com or your local bookstore. Make sure you get his very latest edition. It's wonderful and I used his tips and methods with both of my boys.

Hi K.,

Sounds like Deja-Vu for me! I had the same issue with my daughter not napping at all especially in her crib. I would have her fall asleep in her swing or nurse her to sleep and have her sleep on blankets on the floor.

What worked for me was that I just kept on putting her in her crib, let her cry a bit and have her learn how to fall asleep on her own. I tried that a few times and it finally worked and that was when she was 4 months. She's almost 7 months now and we have a routine. But their sleep pattern always changes, things will be good for a while and you think you have a routine established, then they nap once a day or none at all or cat nap for 30 minutes.

If you keep a routine with him when it comes to nap time, he will learn to take better naps in his crib on his own.

Good luck!

I had the same problem with my 5 month old girl. She is still in a bassinet, but I would put her down and she would wake up and cry or fuss. I started putting my hand on her chest,putting light pressure, and talking, singing or humming to her and it soothes her. It takes a few minutes sometimes, but the times are getting shorter and shorter. For me it is worth spending a few more minutes with her so she does not have to "cry it out" I don't like to do that. It works for some, but in my opinion it is not necessary in all cases. Sure it is more work for us, but that is what being a mommy is all about to me. This has worked great for me, hopefully it helps you. : )

If you figure this out can you let me know too. My son did the exact same thing, now I'm lucky if I get him to nap for 20 minutes once during the day.

Babies are programmed by evolution to want contact with another human. If you were living in a cave (the environment for which we are evolved), leaving the baby alone would expose him to danger of being eaten by a predator. While you probably don't have bears wandering through your house, your baby only knows that companionship equals safety.

If you choose to "teach" him to ignore his instinctive signals, you tell him that his needs and perceptions aren't valued. If you get used to letting him cry it out, it becomes easier to view his expressions of discomfort as manipulation or disobedience, thereby setting up an adversarial relationship.

Babies want and need to be with their mothers (or other loving caregivers). Have you considered keeping him in a sling while he naps? You can get things done as your hands are free and the baby has the only distraction and comfort object he really needs--a warm, loving parent.

Well...your first mistake is nursing him or holding him to get him to sleep. Babies do not need to be held to get to sleep. If you start that with them, however, that's what they'll need because they don't know the difference.
The habit can be broken, though. If you start laying him down when he's sleepy but still awake, he'll learn to fall asleep on his own. YOu need to follow a routine that tells him that it's time to go to sleep. It will take about a week, but he can re-learn to fall asleep. You have to just lay him down and walk away (as sad as it may seem). Do not give in and hold him or you'll have to start all over again. Try it for a week, and you'll most likely have broken the habit that you started. Good luck! :)

Does he sleep well at night? I would put the kabash on the rocking thing. It may be sweet at first, but if it becomes a habit, it will be painful to break. With my first child, I was very consistent with her naptimes and having her sleep in the crib. With my second, she just slept in the carseat, in the stroller, in her crib or wherever, whenever. I was usually running around with my first one to various activities and preschool and grocery shopping, etc. Most of the time, if she fell asleep in the car, I could transfer her to her crib without any fuss. With the infant carrier, I just let her sleep in the carseat, but when she switched to a big girl carseat, no can do.

Anyway, I guess my point is, If you are very consistent and let him cry for 15 minutes or so when you want him to nap, he will eventually do it (I used to set a timer for myself, to keep from going in and picking her up - she ALWAYS fell asleep before the buzzer went off!). If you want to go about living your life and just let him fall asleep whenever he can, that won't hurt him either.

My big thing was... as long as the child sleeps well at night, I just let the daytime work itself out. Everyone has natural rhythms, maybe you just have to figure out when he is naturally tired and have him nap then.

good luck!