Baby Name DRAMA!! Watch Out- Vent!

Updated on May 13, 2011
M.. asks from Detroit, MI
28 answers

I come from a pretty drama free family so the fact that they are being ridiculous about my baby's name is driving me crazy!
Ok, my husband and I have decided on a name for our baby....Yay finally!!
Our first two children were named after family (my family), but this one just didnt work out, we couldnt agree on a family name so we winged it and pretty happy we could both agree on a name. The other two were pretty challenging to compromise on. With my son, we walked into the hospital to have him without a name, my husbands name options for him were just ridiculous and I pretty much ended up naming him myself. Thank God my husband likes it and doesnt resent me for it.
But anyways, I wanted to keep the baby's name a secret just because I didnt want anyones unwanted opinions. My husband and I are happy and wanted to leave it at that, but my family threw a fit about it so I just eneded up telling them. My mom and my sister are pretty much pissed I am not naming the baby after them and have no problem expressing it quite often. I was willing to name the baby after my sister because I liked the name (middle name), but my husband doesnt like it, so that was that. I personally dont like my moms name at all (sorry mom) and dont feel like I should name my baby something I dont like to make someone happy. One of my sisters even said "Well mom if it makes you feel better, I would do it for you". She has two boys and not having anymore children, My other sister cannot have children.
My mom even went as far as saying that since she was the one encouraging me to have a third child, it should be named after her. Really? No, mom Im not having a third because of you, it was God's plan and a birth control malfunction. :)
They both said, fine name her what you want, but Im going to call her what I want to call her! Omg! This is so ridiculous! I can actually see them sitting in the hospital bitching about my baby's name. I want to knock their heads together! The name we picked out is a pretty normal name, nothing over the top. What is the problem? I dont know anyone that has had to deal with this. I would like to be excited about my baby's name without fighting and guilt trips. I have told them that its really bothering me and they wont shut up! How do I deal with them?

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So What Happened?

Sue H. I know you know this has been quite the debate, but I just cant go against my husband on this. Its not fair to him.

Featured Answers

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Vent away sister.. They are all loopy...

They begged and begged to know and now they are hassling you to change it?

Even threatening you with just calling them what they want.. If they do that come up with some choice names to call them back like ,
"Silly really old grandma" and "Wicked, wicked Aunt, Boob"... do this every time with whatever silly name you want.. see how they feel about it..

It is so ridiculous and such a waste of energy..

5 moms found this helpful

S.J.

answers from St. Louis on

I am being sincere when I tell you to ignore them and not talk to them if you have to. What a joke. The fact that you told them it is really bothering you and they still keep at it shows how selfish they are. My husband would have gone off on these family members by now!

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I agree with AllisonF, if they want to be a part of this they need to stop acting like whiny little children and embrace this new child and the name you choose for it. And if they try to call the child by any other name correct them each and every time! I can not believe how rude they are being!!!!

on a side note, I know my mom was not impressed with the names I choose for my boys, but now none of us could imagine them as anything else!

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

I would tell them...

You are right, we picked out a horrible name. Instead we are going to name the baby....Wilhelmina Dandelion Stinkbottom. Or something completely horrible and over the top. Then, keep referring to your soon to be bundle of joy by the horrible name.

By the time you deliver, and have the name you want on the hospital bassinet, they will be joyous that you didn't go with Stinkbottom.

Congratulations on your soon to be new baby.

God Bless

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E.B.

answers from New York on

Tell them to F**K Off and you are naming YOUR baby whatever you please!

6 moms found this helpful
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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Just imagine how ridiculous they will sound when they start complaining to other people about being upset with you for not naming your baby after them. They will receive little sympathy. If you're lucky, someone will tell them to grow up or something along those lines. Yep, I would ignore their comments until they realize they are out of line.

5 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Austin on

tell them both that you've decided you don't like either of THEIR names so from now on you will call them by and only refer to them as Anastasia and Drisella and your children will not refer to them as Aunt or Grandma but those names... as long as they choose to act like children, theyll be treated that way. And remind them that people who feel entitled to some honor, are usually the last ones who are.

Humble goes a long way.

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D.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

Ignore them and tell them to get over it. It's your baby and you get to name it whatever you want!

4 moms found this helpful
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J.R.

answers from San Diego on

I would probably say, "Actually, this was a test. If you were gracious about it, I probably would have named her after you after all. But since you were bitchy about it, we decided not to."

But then I'm mean. :)

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

did you say "see, this is why I didn't want to tell you"? I'm with everyone else on this, ignore them and don't take their phone calls. If they ask why, tell them you are done with it.
ps, did your sister with the boys name them after family?

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M.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi Molly,

Tell them to go home. If they can't be excited with you why are they there??? Tell them I said so! My father-in-law said we named our little girl an old lady name and grunted for a while until I told him to hush and it was pretty (we named her Lydia Ruth after a grandmother on both sides). He stopped and now thinks the name is adorable. I felt wierd when he first said it but realized quickly it was my child and we could name her what we chose. If your family wants to call her something else, tell them she will not be accessible to them. You have a right to protect her from petty people....I know you love your family but they simply need to CHEERFULLY get over it :)

Congratulations on that precious little child!

M.

4 moms found this helpful

J.G.

answers from St. Louis on

My exes mom, well she isn't very creative even when she thinks she is being creative. She decided it would be soooooo neat to have all of her daughters have the same initials. Apparently she was unaware that Marie is not the only name that starts with M. So. All three of her daughters have the same middle name and the initials KMK. Clever huh? :(

My full name is unusual and I hated being unusual so my first daughter would be generic, Christine. With me so far? I didn't mind my middle name which happens to be Marie. So we had CMK. The first comment from the first sister to see her little name thing at the hospital, they spelled her name wrong. Really? I looked, nope it is right. No they spelled Christine with a C, yeah that is how you spell Christine.

For years after that they tried to get my ex to change her name to Kristine. They even wanted him to put it in our divorce decree. I am like she is an adult now, let it go!!!!!!!

So don't know if my story helped but thought you might want to know you are not alone. :(

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

Block it out and change the subject. With my older kids, one girl was named after my mom and my oldest sister who I was extremely close to--I had decided one of my girls when I married and had kids would be named this when I was 15. My son was not named after family but was given my husband first name as a middle name. My other girl was given a first name and then my MIL's name was shortened to make my daughter's middle name. I got a call when they were about a week old. My other sister wanted to know why I did not name my girl after her. Seriously? And of course, i was asked by many of his relatives why my girl that is named after my mom and my son do not have hispanic sounding names. We did not want to, that's why. Geez, I can just imagine what is going to happen if I have another.

3 moms found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Boston on

I'd ay ignore them too. They will get over it. I hate caving into other's hang-ups. drives me nuts... but what else is driving me nuts is what your mom's name may be and what the new little one's name is going to be... I'm so nosey and hate secrets!!!! :)

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K.L.

answers from Des Moines on

I'm going to tell you what my dad told me when I told him I was worried about a couple names we have picked out for our daughter coming in September. It is YOUR child, you name that kid anything you want and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!

I recently told my parents what name we like for our girl and my mom actually surprised me. She said she wasn't a fan of it, but that doesn't matter...it's not her choice!

If they want to name a kid a certain name...have another baby!!!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

It's only "drama" if you let it be drama. Good luck!

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P.M.

answers from Tampa on

hehe I sympathize... when my family found out #2 was a boy, they expected me to name him as a II or Jr after my husband. I love my husband's name... but people here in America cannot pronounce (let alone spell correctly) either his full name or shortened version. He is from the Czech Republik and didn't want his son having issues with his name. He told me to choose 10 names, he chose 5 and we chose the final name together. My Christian Mother HATES it because not only is it NOT my husband's name but it is definitely not a Christian name either. She has made fun of the name and made stupid shorts of it to make it seem like a horrible name - in front of my 5 y/o who has repeated it to me.

I just told her to mind her own business, it wasn't her child to name, nor her decision to make in any regard. I also had to forcefully tell her to leave her sniping and immature nickname calling about the name to herself and to never say anything out loud to my child or family. She was butt hurt for awhile... but she's not said anything since.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

You and your husband like the name for your baby--end of discussion!

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K.:.

answers from Phoenix on

Honestly, I think I'd tell them that if they comment about it again, you will leave the room/house or hang up the phone (basically walk away from the situation & not take part in the conversation). There is nothing to discuss, and furthermore, it's just really not any of their business.

Tell them how much it hurts you that they are taking a beautiful thing & making it ugly & stressful for you, and tell them how selfish, self absorbed, immature & petty they're being. Tell them that just as they don't like the name you've chosen, you don't like the names that were chosen for them, which is why you're not naming your child after them. How can they argue against their own logic? Besides, it's all true. If they love you, they will get over themselves & just support you.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Were they named after family members? Did people give them a hard time about naming their children? I doubt it. If they did, then remind them of how frustrating and hurtful it was. If they didn't then as them to give you the same respect that was given to them.

2 moms found this helpful

B.K.

answers from Chicago on

What I would want to do if I were you: Tell them, very nicely that you are so sorry you took away this honor from them, and by all means, they can name the baby whatever they want! It's all up to them! (And then when he's born tell them you were just kidding of course. It's YOUR baby.)

What I think you should do: Shrug your shoulders and tell them they are acting like children and to stop it. And change the subject.

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C.M.

answers from New York on

Name your baby what you and your husband have decided. Your family will have to get over it eventually. Its that simple. Good Luck and congrats! :)

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

I am dying to know the name???? Tell me tell me LOL :)

You do what's best...Your baby your decision. My dad was disappointed we didn't name one of our sons after him

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Ignore them. Name your baby what you and hubby agree about. If you had named her after Mom sister, sister would be mad that she was first!

I would just say that it would be confusing for her to have the same first name as one of them because girls don't usually do the Jr./(the second)/Little x thing.

My daughter has a name that we FINALLY agreed upon as she was arriving. Everyone calls her by the nickname that the babysitter started when she was a month old ....

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S.T.

answers from New York on

Sounds like pretty immature women - what's up with that? Don't even enter in to the conversation - let them fuss and fume all they want. Your baby, your pregnancy, you give birth etc. Unless either of them is intending to financially support this child and get up all night long they have no standing. yikes.

My FIL really wanted me to name our son after my DH who is named after - you guessed it , my FIL. That would have made my son a "third" as my DH is a Junior. I told my FIL that I would NEVER saddle my child with a "III" after his name unless there was a trust fund to go with it - since a John Smith III is reserved for either dirt poor or uber-rich - and we are solidly middle class. He continued, in a "good hearted" but deep down stubborn way to badger me about our son's name. Finally I told him that since I'm the one who carries the baby, gives birth and deals with all of that - and that I'm in the hosptial when they come to collect birth certificate information I am the final say on the baby's name - period, end of discussion.

PS - my son is so much NOT the name of my husband and late FIL - his name suits him perfectly.

Dont' allow yourself to get bothered by it. Ignore them.

1 mom found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

Everybody always has an opinion about names, sheesh!

I know it's hard but just ignore them and don't worry about it...tell them 'my kid, my choice' and let them call her whatever they like, doesn't mean you have to call her that.

~My sister HATES the first name I picked out for my 2nd son and she wasn't shy about telling me and anyone who would listen, it really hurt my feelings at first but I got over it. My son's name first name is Wyatt and his middle name is Brodie. From the moment he was born my sister has refused to call him Wyatt and ONLY calls him Brodie...I really don't mind anymore b/c I LOVE the name Brodie and now I get to actually hear it all the time, b/c really how often do you actually use or hear your middle name? So her and her entire family (husband and kids) calls him Brodie and he answers to it just fine :)

Naming them was ALWAYS THE HARDEST PART for me...as long as you and your husband are happy that is all that matters! This too shall pass.

**What's up with the snarky comment by Sue H. did I miss something?

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P.F.

answers from Dallas on

Oh boy! If it was me I would tell them all I changed the name and would dead pan serious when I told them I was going to name her Trash Bag or something ridiculous like that! If they said you were just being ridiculous, then just say you are acting like they are so too bad! I know two wrongs don't make a right, but how dare anybody challenge another person on what they are going to name their child!

I say stick to your guns and hopefully once your baby is born, they will just forget how silly they are both being and call her by the name you and your husband chose! If they don't then tell them they cannot see her until they do!

I wish you all the best! Please let us all know what you end up naming her. I am sure it will be BEAUTIFUL!

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S.W.

answers from St. Louis on

My sister did the same thing to me....I ended up having a boy and not using the name. Then when she had her 2nd my dad looked at her and said she doesn't look like 'Lauren' I'm going to call her Nicky (middle name Nicole). So she got it back... ha!

Seriously. It is your and your husband decision. No one elses....tell them to shut up or they won't get to see the baby.

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