Baby Name Again

Updated on January 24, 2013
J.G. asks from Chicago, IL
23 answers

I'm still struggling to pick a name for my daughter that is due in about 6 weeks! Hubby is set on Sive (pronounced like Five but with an S). I've even called my baby this a few times. The thing is, everyone around me hates the name. My first reaction wasn't posivitive either, but I've grown to like it. It means sweetness or goodness. Yet, there is something harsh about it. He also insists we use the traditional spelling. Ready for this? Sadhbh!

My first choice would be Niahm (nee-ve), but this is my SIL's name, and we don't like her much. But we don't see her all that often either --she's in England, after all, so we run into her at our in-laws house about once every two years. Hubby is totally against this name. It would go to his sister's head, and her head is more than big enough. But it's still my favorite ;-(

I keep coming up with other names, but hubby turns them all down. I don't actually like my son's name much, so I'm really hesitant to just go along with hubby. What if I decide I hate Sive? He is willing to call the baby Moyra, but that's it. Anything else I run past him he turns down, and I don't love Moyra. Again, it's just OK.

Is this one of those things where I just suck it up, go along with Sive and deal with it? As hubby sees it, this child is going to grow up in a very multicultural world where the bulk of people have to repeat their names or help others to pronounce them, so, he says," what's the big deal?"

What the hell do I do?!?!?!?!!? We need a name! And I just can't seem to find a name I feel deep down.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

My husband spoils me. When I wanted new kitchen appliances, he didn't argue, adn he even let me pick expensive ones. When I wanted expensive front load washers and dryers, he didn't argue. He is very kind and generous with me, and this isn't really cultural --Irish men are a bit weird but hubby treats me as an equal.

I think he just loves the name Sive. End of story. It's in his heart. While it isn't in mine, I don't not like it. In fact, I think I like it more than Moyra.

My other daughter is Maeve, or we'd pick that. The discussion of her name took a total of 5 seconds. I said "maeve,' and he said "yep." And he didn't pick my son's name. He picked it off MY short list.

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answers from Kansas City on

I love Moyra (I've seen Moira). I know you and hubby love these unique names with unique spellings, but this child will have to live with her name forever! She will forever have to help people pronounce it. Sadhbh?!? Really?!?! Just give her a normal middle name that she can use when she's tired of explaining Sadhbh. My kids all have Irish names, too, so I totally understand wanting to use one. I like Mommyc's suggestions:)

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answers from Columbus on

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be mean, and my children have ethnic names, one no one can pronounce at first sight, but I'm not a fan of those names and it doesn't sound like you are either. I don't have any advice other than to perhaps start with names from scratch. It sounds like you're closest on Sive, but I couldn't even pronounce it as you wrote it, let alone in the traditional spelling. I will say that after you live with the name for a while, it'll will be uniquely that child's name and it will have meaning for you it never had before.
Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful

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answers from Los Angeles on

Is your husb being difficult because it's a cultural thing? Meaning he is
supposed to be the one that ultimately picks the name?

If so, I would compromise but put my foot down. Do it gently but be firm.
This is 2013. How about if you compromise and name her Moyra (I like that a lot as it is much more "normal" for lack of a better word) then if you have to give her "Sive" as a middle name.

Esp because "Sive" will be mispronounced quite often & she will have the
unfortnate duty of correcting everyone!

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answers from Chicago on

What about Keira Sive? Or Moira Sive? I think Sive is cool...not so Irish tho in sound...and would definitely keep this spelling if you go with it as a first name. As a middle name....I would consider using the irish spelling. Try to enjoy...naming is stressful. I like our kids name but it took me awhile...esp the first bc I was in a similar situation. Now it suits perfectly. :-)

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answers from Provo on

We have a multicultural family too. For our first son, we chose a name we thought each side of the family could pronounce and hoped that his little brain would translate the difference in accents and understand that the different ways his name was being pronounced were all the same name. By the time he was 6 he informed us that he hated the way some people pronounced his name and wished he could choose the pronunciation for everyone. If I were to go back, I would give him a first name that is easy for Americans to pronounce because it is where we live. I would give him a middle name that is easy to be pronounced in the other language and he would be called both depending on which side of the family was speaking to him. Then the first name would not be a hassle for him and the middle name would feel like a nickname, which is endearing. I don't like Sive spelled either way, but that's just one opinion.

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answers from Sarasota on

If you go with Sive, please spell it that way. Most people will have NO idea how to pronounce the traditional spelling.

I still remember my poor sis coming home crying from kindergarten because not only could no one say her name right, she couldn't remember how to spell it all the time and neither could her teacher. She kept having to go check the roster. That is when she got the nickname she still uses to this day.

Unusual names are fine, but try not to saddle the little one with having to correct everyone on not just the sound but also the spelling every single time its used. Just my opinion. Also, don't just go along with hubby, find a name you both love. Keep looking, one will show itself.

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answers from Colorado Springs on

Wait until the baby is born. That will help. It will make a big difference. Right now you're talking about a name for a real person, but a person you haven't met face to face yet. It's not all that unusual to take even a week or two after the baby's birth to decide definitely on a name.

I agree with Lynn E. - I kinda like the idea of choosing a first name that your new daughter (and the people surrounding her) won't have overmuch trouble with. It could still be an ethnic name, but perhaps with a spelling that guides the pronunciation. This sort of adjustment may be classified under the category of kindness to others. Let the middle name be unusual, spelling and all; it will also be a part of her heritage.

Have you asked your husband why he loves the name Sive so much? There must be a reason. Is it a family name? Well, maybe not, from what you write about the family. Then what's the attachment to the name about?

Would you love Moyra if the spelling were different? I've always seen it spelled MOIRA, which I think is lovely. There was a renowned ballerina in the 1940s named Moira Shearer.

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answers from Springfield on

I think it's really important that you follow your heart and find a name that is meaningful for both of you. Neither Sadhbh nor Niahm are good fits (even though they are both beautiful in their own ways) because they don't feel right to one or the other of you. Keep looking!

I knew I would have a boy and my husband and I couldn't agree on a name either. He was in our arms for a good 24 hours before we decided (and we're pretty sure he told us himself :).

Good luck! And congratulations.

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answers from Eau Claire on

ETA: While I don't think that new APPLIANCES (which are for BOTH of you) constitues being spoiled...the fact that you had a larger part choosing the other names does change my opinion a bit. Maybe he feels if you got to pick Maeve, that he should get this one. However, I still think he should want you to love the name that you both are picking, as much as he does.

Doesn't seem like DH is taking your feelings into consideration very much. YOU have just spent the last 8 or so months carrying this baby, YOU should at least get a (bigger) say in what the name will be!

My DH & I had more of a 'I get to pick the girl name, you get to pick the boy name' deal (even though we could both veto names we didn't like).

I would absolutely not settle for a name I didn't 100% love. If you don't like it, your child probably won't either.

And I could get on board with Sive (sounds unique in a good way and better than others I've heard)...but the spelling is atrocious. I get that alot of people still have to spell their names...but this isn't even close! If the child is going to be applying for jobs in the US, just think of what it will look like. Sive looks unique...Sadhbh just looks like it's misspelled or least to me (& probably others), who only speak English.

I get that your DH probably speaks another language...and maybe you do too, I don't know....and I understand his trying to want to maintain culture. I'm not trying to sound insensitive...just wanted you to know what it looks like to me, and probably lots of others. But maybe there is another way to do a middle name?

For what it's worth, I like Sive better than Moyra.

Good Luck...I really hope you can find a name you BOTH love!

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answers from Los Angeles on

I personally like Sive, but ONLY spelled that way! The other spelling is HORRIBLE! <--------Wow! That sounded harsh I apologize!

~You are giving your husband to much power, IMO. It seems like he has veto power on names, instead of you? You let him have the power with naming your son also? Time to take the veto power back...

Naming them was always THE hardest part, for me anyway. Good luck. You still have a bit of time. You will know what to do when the time comes.

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answers from Minneapolis on

Oh my god, I LOVE Moyra. It's one of my favorite names.

Sive is kinda cute since there is a reason behind it, but if you use the traditional spelling no one will be able to pronounce it. I can only imagine when your baby is older and putting in applications for a job, a possible employer will try to call her back for an interview...

"Hello, is this Sadhbh?"

Ya... Go with Sive if you decide to use that name.

But I still love Moyra.

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answers from Washington DC on

I thought it was spelled "Niamh"? I have a friend with that name, and it's always pronounced incorrectly. People think it's Naomi or they'll pronounce it phonetically ("Nee-am"). Sorry, I don't love Sive (much less Sadhbh) at all.

How about Maeve? It's still Irish, it sounds similar to Niamh, but it's also a lot easier to pronounce upon reading it. Or Siobhan? I don't love that one, but maybe you would? Moyra is not a terrible option, but it's not my favorite either. I think I like the traditional spelling (Moira) better.

As someone who has a name that is always misspelled, I will say that it's tiresome always having to correct people. It's not a "big deal," but it's a pain in the neck. When I had children, I made sure to have names that you knew how to pronounce when you read them and how to spell when you heard them.

Just saw your SWH - Great minds think alike. :) I still don't like Sive, though, sorry. Honestly, the first thing that came to mind when I saw it spelled like that is "swive," which is not a very nice word.

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answers from Kansas City on

Sometimes you just have to wait until the baby is born to really decide what it should be named.

Yes, I think you need to have some in mind of course, but try not to stress, that doesn't help anyone. Perhaps after giving birth your husband might be more amenable to compromise with you when you are tired, sweaty, and just produced a human.

Keep searching for names and try to compromise. For the record, I do like Moyra. I didn't like Sive at all, but now I guess it's growing on me too. ;) But, I agree don't use the traditional spelling.

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answers from Omaha on

If I had a girl instead of a boy the last time it was going to be Michante (Micha or Mica for short.) It is sioux indian for My love. I think and dont quote this but it sounds like Mish-on-tay. Its how I was going to pernounce it.

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answers from Iowa City on

Keep suggesting names. Maybe there will be another one he likes. If it is down to Sive and Moyra then pick the one you like best. If you don't want to name her either of those then pull the I am the one doing the work to bring this child into the world and you named the other two children so I'm naming this one card.

Some of my personal favorite Irish names:

Cliodhna (Cliona)

Grainne (Grawnya)

Una (Oona)

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answers from Chicago on

Don't settle for a name that you don't like. I swear I say my one year old daughter's name about 100 times in one day & wouldn't be too happy if I didn't love her name. What about Clodagh?

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answers from Washington DC on

Máire (not as harsh a sound as Moyra)? Mairéad, Ailis, Eilis, Aislín, Maeve/Meadhbh?

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answers from Boston on

Oh boy. What a dilemma. So sorry but I don't like any of the 3! It stinks to have to spell out your name to people forever.

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answers from Los Angeles on

Here are some Irish names that I think sound nice:

Aine (awn ya): This means "radiance, joy" [Ann, Anne]
Caitlín (kate lyn): Meaning "pure" [Katherine]
Rionach (ria nock): This royal name means "regal" [Riona]
Róisín (ro sheen): This means "little rose" [Rosaleen]
Saoirse (seer sha): This name means "freedom"
Zaira (zay ra): This means "radiance" [Sarah]


Read Original Here: Top 35 Unique Irish Baby Girl Names : Fantasy-Ireland
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Share Alike

Laoise - (LEE sha) Irish form of the name Louise, which is of French origin. According to, Laoise means 'radiant girl'. Even though it would be considered quite a unique baby name in America, it was one of the top 100 registered Irish baby girl names for the last two years, according to the CSO. Click here for more popular Irish girl names. Alternate spellings: Leesha, Louisa.

I also saw a site that gives the alternate spelling of Sabha, which might be a little easier than Sadhbh.

I think giving a cultural name can be fun and it's nice to stick with tradition, but I also think adapting it somewhat to make it a little easier in America never hurts.

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answers from New York on

Your husband is being unreasonable and unrealistic. It is stressing you out and that is not fair or respectful!! Your son already has name your don't like, why is he being such a jerk? Sive is aweful and the traditional spelling that he suggests is just plain crazy. I have a name that is "ethnic". No one has heard of it and people need a lot of coaching. I would not want a name like Jennifer but on the other hand, something that people can pronounce would be great. Have him read studies on children's self esteem and life success related to names. I don't like Niahm either, honestly. Does it have to be an Irish name? I love Old Hollywood names like Ginger and Marilyn and flower names like Holly, Marigold, and Lilly.

Well since you think that letting you pick out expensive appliances means he is an awesome person then go with Sive, pronounce it Five, and spell it all crazy. Your husband HONESTLY thinks your daughter will like her name? It is not about your husband, it is what you believe is best for your daughter.

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answers from Chicago on

You may have already named your baby Sive. I just thought I would add that my girlfriend (who is from Cork) has twins named Niamh and Aoife. Have you considered Aoife? I know two Aoifes and they are bubbly happy girls. Just a thought. Good luck with everything!

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answers from Seattle on

I say Moira. Traditional cultural names are easiest as middle names. I too grew up with a name that's hard to spell or pronounce and I still hate it as an adult. Sadhbh just looks like a bunch of letters thrown together with no sensical pronunciation in English, and no one that's not Irish would think niamh has a v sound in it. There are some beautiful Irish names out there without being that hard! Ciara, Erin, Aisling, Tara?

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answers from Pittsburgh on

I hope your husband isn't this bossy about everything else.

I do think you guys need to agree on the name!

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