Baby Girl

Updated on July 03, 2008
D.S. asks from Des Moines, IA
11 answers

I know this may sound crazy to a lot of you but here goes. We are expecting our second baby in early Dec. We have a 2 year old little boy that I adore completely. We found out about a month or so ago that this baby is supposed to be a girl. I just haven't gotten that excited about having a girl. I'm still excited to be pregnant & having a baby but not so much about the girl part. Make sense? I wanted so much to have another boy and it's a bit of a shock to know that this is going to be a girl.
Everyone's commenting on how great it will be to have one of each but honestly it annoys me; that might be their idea of great but maybe it's not mine. I know that we are very blessed to be able to have kids and I'm thankful to be having another baby, no matter the gender. I'm sure I'll snap out of it by the time the baby gets here. My question is: have any of you felt this way & if so how in the world do you "get over it?" Thanks in advance mamas!!!

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So What Happened?

Thanks so much ladies!! At least now I know that I'm not alone or a horrible person! I really am excited to be having another baby and will love the one God sends (boy or girl); it's just going to be a little adjustment. I may need help later with the girly things (not so girly myself) so hopefully mamasource will still be around in a few years when she's ready to get into that stuff. Thanks again!! God bless and have a wonderful day.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

I don't know about how to "get over it" since I only have one little boy. But I just wanted to tell you that I felt exactly the same way when I was pregnant. I grew up in a house with three brothers and I was a real tomboy. I was terrified of having a girl, and even though the doctor kept telling me that I was having a boy I was still scared. I wouldn't even let any of my friends buy me anything blue b/c I thought that it would somehow jinx things and I would end up with a girl (I try to blame that on pregnancy hormones =). But I hope that even if I had a girl I would love her just as much as I love my son. And, by the way, my son is nothing like I expected him to be, but everyday I love him more.
I hope this helps.

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K.W.

answers from Dallas on

Danielle,

when we are pregnant we are so hormonal that nothing is right until the hormones settle in. It is funny how some of us project our feelings about ourselves and our relationships with siblings and parents onto children coming into our lives. Girly girls with great relationships with other girls and moms are sometimes dissapointed when they have boys and tomboy girls are somtimes disapointed with girls, but when we have the sweet baby that is really gender neutral at first we begin discovering that love and we are simply hooked by the new baby before thier tendencies begin developing. I was such a disapointment to my girly girl mom when I, being the only daughter was such a tomboy and wanted nothing to do with fashion or makeup or any of the things she adored. We still love each other and just accept our differences.

I hope these thoughts help.
K. @ The Nestingplace

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M.P.

answers from Dallas on

What you are feeling is completly normal. Alot of people feel that way.

I had a girl first (just what I wanted) then a boy next (agian, just what I wanted) then when I was preggo the 3rd time I wanted a girl soooo bad I couldn't see straight. I love my son to death but I did not want another boy! Well, we lost that baby. It was a girl...but thats not the point. Now I am pregnant with our 4th and everyone keeps asking me what I want. You know what I want? alive, healthy and MINE to take home. Thats all I want. I don't care anymore if it's a boy or a girl. I will gladly accept what God gives me no matter what. It's easy to get cought up with what we want to the point that we don't see the bigger picture. We can't choose the sex...no matter what we want. Please take this time to be thankful for what you do have and thats a little girl. Besides, girls aren't that bad. You can dress them up (shopping is unlimited for a lil girl), fix their hair, and ohh, don't forget about the shoes : ) You can paint her nails, ect. And who knows, she might like all the same boyish stuff that her brother enjoys. I know it's not exactly what you wanted, but there's not much you can do to change it. Congrats on the new baby and I hope I didn't make you too uncomfortable, I didn't mean this in any way to be rude. I just wanted to tell you my story in hopes that it can help you feel better about having a girl : ) Congrats!!

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C.S.

answers from Dallas on

Way, way back before ultrasound I was POSITIVE that I would be giving birth to a boy. I never considered for one minute that the baby could be a female. I was stunned when the doctor announced a baby girl in the delivery room. My long awaited boy came six years later. Both were treasured children. I was shocked, but fascinated and had no problem bonding with my child finally in my arms.
This many years down the road, it seems to me that these things happen for a reason. I appreciate how you are reacting to well-meaning people who brush aside your feelings in this. I would distance myself from them for awhile and try to get my head around this unexpected adventure. Take control.
C. S.

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T.P.

answers from Dallas on

I have a boy and two girls and am due again in January. I really believed my third was a boy, too. I also really wanted her to be a boy, partially because my son wanted a baby brother. She is the only one that we asked to know the sex at the ultrasound. I did not believe them. Anyway, they were obviously right - she's a girl! She is the silliest and wildest of my three children so far, though! She really acts so much like my son did when he was her age, except that she also likes girly things like purses, nail polish, and dress-up clothes. She really is just so much fun (and also a challenge)! Right now it is probably hard for you to imagine, but things are really different when you have a beautiful little baby in your arms. Even then, it may take some time, but you will grow to love her and wonder what you would do without her!

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D.S.

answers from Dallas on

I saw this was old- but had to respond- dont thinkyou are theonyl one that ever felt like that- We had all boys in my family and I wanted a girl- Had a boy then a girl and hes the best bbig brother I could of asked for- yes-you have the best of both worlds and its an amazing gift- I bet you got over it real quick- like the minute she was born-
Good luck and Im sure you are all doing great!
D.
www.partyangelsus.com

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

Danielle,

Don't feel bad for feeling that way!! I told everyone that i did NOT want a little girl, i was having a boy and that was all there was to it. i mouthed about this through my whole pregnancy. after 4 sono's they could not tell me the sex, which was fine because i already knew it was a boy. i had boy names, boy clothes, boy nursery items. imagine my suprise and dissapointment when they held up a girl in the delivery room. i wanted to cry...and not happy oh i have a baby kind of cry....a OMG, I wanted a BOY cry. LOL. So we came up with a name before we left the hospital...she used most of the boy nursery stuff. And I love her so much!! I can't belive i ever wanted a dirty rambunctious little boy as bad as i did. you see i was always a tomboy and knew that i would be able to connect better with a boy, which i probably would have. but me and miss haylee are just as girly as ever. and i never thought i would be buying pink for any reason. just say your prayers and let go of your stubborness, the reality is, it does not matter what you 'want', God is going to give you what you are suppose to have....what you NEED if you will. Leave it all to him....not by asking for a boy....and i promise you that reguardless of how you feel right now, at the right time you will be so head over heels in love with this little person, boy or girl.
P.S. Congratlations on the new addition. Girls are so sweet, and so different from boys. Really boys are probaly sweeter, girls are funnier with all of thier attitude and never ending stream of 'knowledge'

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T.A.

answers from Dallas on

That's not crazy at all...completely normal. I'm kinda going through the same thing. I am 11 weeks pregnant and have a 12 year old son. We are SO excited about being pregnant that it doesn't matter what we have, boy or girl, as long as we have a happy, healthy baby. But we all DO want a boy. However, EVERYONE, I mean everyone, says we are having a girl, and that really bothers me. I can't even imagine myself with a little girl. But I know once we do find out the sex in the next few weeks, we will be happy either way. So don't worry, I understand how you feel. Kudos to you for admitting to it. ;)

L.A.

answers from Dallas on

I have a son the same age as yours and am also expecting my second in early December! I so wanted a girl this time, but we are having another boy.

I was a bit disappointed as well (we only have boys in our family), but I have gotten really excited just knowing that we are going to have another special spirit here, and it doesn't matter what sex it is, as all children, whether boy or girl have their own unique characteristics.

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N.

answers from Dallas on

I had a similar response, but my genders were reversed. I had a girl first and wanted another girl with my second child. When we found out it was a boy, I was kinda disappointed. I was looking forward to re-using all the cute clothes I had saved from my daughter and I just loved the idea of having 2 girls. Once my son was born though, I couldn't imagine having another girl instead. He became the second light of my life instantly and I remember thinking how is it possible to love 2 people in this world so completely. I was sure I wouldn't be able to love my second as much as my first, especially because it was going to be a boy, not another girl. Boy was I wrong! Just wait and see. I bet you too will fall in love all over again and will wonder why you ever thought anything different.

Congrats on your baby on the way!

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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

You sound just like me!

DH has a brother, FIL has all brothers, we just kind of assumed we would have all boys and I was 100% ok with it.

When our son was one we found out we were expecting again. I was convinced it was a boy and did not want a girl - at all.
When the ultrasound said girl I didn't believe them, and I wasn't happy about it. Everyone kept saying "now you'll have one of each!" like it was a good thing and all I could think of was that I didn't want one of each! I pretty much felt that way until she was born.

And then I saw her, and fell hopelessly in love with her. She is now almost 4 and I can't imagine life without her. Her favorite color is pink, and I hate pink. She loves to play dress-up, which I never did as a child. She loves make-up, I don't wear much. You would think we have nothing in common, but the wonderful thing is she's giving me a new appreciation for all the 'girly' things I shunned growing up as a tomboy. She has truly broadened my horizens and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us.

My point is you might not "get over it" before she arrives, and that's ok! You will once she gets here, and you'll laugh at how you ever could have doubted.
Congratulations on your little girl!

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