Baby Crying in the Car

My friend's baby did the same thing about the crying and not breathing. She threw a fit and screamed, stopped breathing, and passed out. Her parents could not arouse her so they took her to the emergency room. He brain had a lack of oxygen. She was OK but scary for mom and dad nonetheless!
Hopefully it is a phase she will grow out of but when it gets to the point where her breathing becomes and issue, I would pull over and soothe her. Try little toys that light up and sing songs or one of those mirrors where she can see you.

She's not spoiled, nor can you spoil her at this age, but if you know she's ok then you should just let her cry. Babies cry...a LOT. Some hate the car (mine did) and some love it. This was something that would stress me out so badly w/my first that I wouldn't go much at all if I had to drive. It'll get better. Don't stress about it (easier said than done), don't(EVER)try to soothe her while you're driving, don't take it personally, just let her cry. She may get better and she may not, but this too shall pass! :) Enjoy her...time flies!

Two of my three girls were carseat criers for about the first 4 or 5 months. I would just dread driving anywhere b/c I knew what I was in for. She will eventually realize that once she's in that carseat, she has to just "suck it up" and be content. If you start stopping and trying to soothe her, she'll expect it and things may not change. I KNOW it's a very difficult stage but I really do think things will get better with time. Whenever I hear moms talk about how much their babies just love their carseats, I'm thinking, "Gee, I wish i could relate to that." ( : Good luck.

Hi T.! My baby HATED the car for some unknown reason when she was very young like that. The only thing that would make her happy would be to take her out and feed/nurse her. But of course she would cry for the most part the rest of the time unless she tuckered herself out. It broke my heart, but I had to get places so what can you do?? I can't remember when it changed, but eventually she decided she LIKED the carseat and either plays in it or falls asleep constantly. I'm sorry I don't have a "solution" for you, but in my case it was something that passed... and fairly quickly! I hope it's the same for you!

My now 5 year old HATED riding in the car. Especially backwards. It really ticked him off. I got a mirror that aimed down at his car seat and refracted off my rear view, so that he and I could look each other in the eye. The face contact, along with some conversation, helped.

I also bought a bracket that stuck a dvd player to my rear view - that didn't work so well.

My son got violently car sick for a couple of years after we turned him around - that may be why she is so freakin miserable; or she may just be lonely. Try the mirror - it cost less than $10.

S.

There is a possibility that she is getting car sick. This is how it started with my son. When he was a very young baby he would do just what you are describing. As he got older it got worse. He never threw up though until he was a little over a year old. It was then that we put two and two together. Talk to your pediatrician about the possibility that it could be nausea.

Is it too early to start playing peekaboo - letting your child know that you actually are there even though she can't touch you?

I also liked the ideas from other mamas - mirror, music cds, swaddling tightly, light weight blanket over carseat, Mylicon (sp?) drops, not talking!, singing... Maybe you could introduce the use of mirrors at home to get her used to the concept?

I remember talking to my babies- in a soothing tone of voice: "Mama can't pick you up right now - I'm cooking/cleaning the toilet/driving, etc. You'll have to wait for a little minute." I tried to stretch their ability to wait patiently for something.

That was a long time ago (youngest is 17), so I don't remember exactly, but I DO know that they outgrow it eventually, and, yes, my 17 yr old drives ME around now!

It's great - now I get to read in the car!

Bless you!

A.

Hi T.. Our second child cried/screamed every single time we put him in the car until we reached our destination. When he was 4 mos. old he just stopped. There was no obvious reason. Hang in there and don't worry that you are doing anything wrong. You may be a little nervous as a first time mom and she can sense that. I'll pray that the Grace of God will be suffieient for you to get through. SDW

This may be totally unrelated, but it could be the sun shining in her face, or another noise. When my son was little we couldn't use foil in our house. Other noises would set him off. I could only drive for 15 minutes at a time. Do baby massage at home. Make sure you are touching and holding her a lot at home. It could just be crying to get to you but it also could be a sensitivity thing.

When my son was this age, we found a lullabye CD that was like magic!! Everytime we started it up my son would instantly stop crying to hear the music. You might try different CDs like that. Also try giving her a pacifier during these rides - even if she normally does not take them. She sounds like she's looking for something to soothe her. Try placing a thin blanket over the carseat to minimize the light/stimulation - the car ride might make her tired and then she gets mad that she can't fall asleep.

Sounds like she is a little spoilt and just wants her Mommy, when she hears you she expects you to come to her rescue - which is fine. Whatever you do, leave her in her car seat. Maybe try taking little trips during the day talking to her and maybe she will adjust to the car. She is still little. Try playing a CD of soothing music or put up a little bouncy toy in front of her to distract her from thinking about you.
Our first son cried EVERYTIME we rode in the car at night. He would scream to the top of his lungs... He did this until he was a year old. We usually had to drive with the windows down or cracked to give us some relief - Good Luck. Don't give up. She will soon be driving you around in her car - ha.

I feel your pain. My first child did this (and still sometimes does this at two). I always thought that they liked car rides and it would soothe them; however, my first wanted to be with me - not in the back. I remember she cried all the way from my parents house to my house one day and it was an hour and half drive! I did go ahead and pull over into a safe place - gas station. I tried to soothe her with a pacifier; however, it only worked for a second. I basically had crying most of the way back home. I just remember her always crying in the car unless she was just really tired. I am sure you already do this; however, make sure she is diapered and fed right before the car ride. With my second - she LOVES the car ride. And mostly falls asleep or lays quietly. I guess that wasn't much help. Maybe some other folks have some ideas.

I know opinions vary on the pacifier issue, and yet if it were me, I would try every pacifier on the market until you find one she likes. Both my boys LOVED their pacifiers and it would act like a tranquilizer dart when they would get all worked up like that. It was so funny to watch! My son James' eyes would actually roll back in his head and this sense of calm came over him when I'd stick the paci in his mouth. Yes, you have to wean them from it later but it's worth it.

Good luck!

M.
"Our pediatrician misses us. So does the pharmacist."
Visit my Mamasource profile to find out why!

My daughter went through a period where she also did this. It was heart-wrenching and I was always sure something was terribly wrong. For whatever reason (possibly over-stimualtion and seperation), a lot of babies do not like car rides. There were several times where I felt I just had to pull over and take her out of her car seat to soothe or nurse her. This was not the best idea for me b/c eventually I had to put her back in the carseat and then she became even more irate. It does sound like your baby freaks out when she hears your voice but can't see you. I think you should try a few things:
- Try not to talk while in car, you could try singing
- Find a CD that your baby really loves and play it in the car
- Get a mirror to put in the car so you can see each other
- Try attaching some toys to the carseat to distract her
- Someone else mentioned nauseau, I never made the connection, but that makes sense. My daughter has thrown up in the car a couple of times (when she was atleast 1yr or older), but it was usually when it was hot or she was given food in the car. So you might also make sure the backseat is at a comfortable temperature.
For me, the music and the mirror worked the best for me, and once I was finally able to put her in a forward-facing carseat, she no longer had an issue~ I had to wait a really long time, though b/c she was so tiny it took forever before she weighed enough. I hope you find something that works for you. I know it's really hard to drive or go anywhere when your child is screaming like its the end of the world!

My son did the same. He rarely cried, until he got in the car then he would scream non stop! I had him rear-facing as recommended. When he was about 5 months, he weighed enough for me to turn him forward facing. As soon as I did, the crying stopped! Not sure if your baby is rear facing, but that may be the issue. Good luck!

OH, how I remember those days.....they were hard ones and I dreaded having to go "anywhere"! Honestly, thinking back I can't really remember what I did. I know I tried to make trips short and if the crying got SO bad, I would pull over and get the baby out for a good 5-10 minutes to calm him down and then start over. I was nursing mine so I always had to stop and nurse when he'd get so upset and that was pretty uncomfortable to do in the back seat of a car! : )
Anyhow, what I do remember is it doesn't last forever, THANK GOD because I would have lost my mind by now if it did! I think with my kids it stopped around 3-4 mnths and now they LOVE going anywhere in the car. Hang in there and do what you feel is best for her.......if you can pull over and soothe her that probably won't hurt.....she's too young to realize what's going on and why she's stuck in this seat with this big moving object that stops and goes....... : )
Hang in there.....she'll be over it soon!!

I have not read the other responses, but an 11 week old baby is absolutely NOT SPOILED. That is not even possible. She is also not directing it at you - she is not capable of such thought processes. She is 11 weeks old, for goodness sakes. When she cries like that there is something wrong. Both of my girls cried sometimes in the car and I would just pull over and take them out. Usually they were hot. Sometimes they needed to burp. Or just needed to be held. Try a lullaby cd. But please don't let her just cry without attempting to soothe her. She is not capable of self soothing. She needs your help. This phase doesn't last long, just hang in there.

Sometimes when my baby would cry in the car it was because he was hot, and when he'd cry it would make him hotter. A couple times (if he got too frustrated) I'd pull over to take him out and let him cool off a little and calm him down. Also, music CDs are great! I have a soothing lullaby one for when he was sleeping and a fun one with kids singing nursery songs for when he was awake and wanted to listen to music. Normally, if I had those playing he was quite (unless he was hungry). Also, do you have a mirror? My little one loves to look at his reflection in the mirror. It's a dog mirror, so I think he enjoys looking at the puppy too! Hope this helps!

My now 10 year old son was the same way - from the moment you pulled the car out of the garage until you pulled back in - he would cry - carseat in the house was okay - so we knew it wasn't the carseat.

He outgrew it - there was nothing that soothed him - stopping to nurse, or hold him didn't help - I just had to learn to bear it. It would upset my 2 year old daughter at the time - she would get really stressed.

I have no special advice - just that it is normal and it won't last forever.

Sing. My son used to need me to sing and depending on the day it was itsy bitsy spider, ole mcdonald, who knows..whatever floated his boat. We were in washington DC, major traffic and I would have to sing for at leaset an hour each night. arhh, but it worked. Good luck.

HI, this happened to me before too. I didn't know why he was crying. I finally had to pull over and get him out. He was hot! It gets hot, when they are strapped in and bundled up. Then when he was screamimg that made him hotter. So, i started to turn the air conditioner on higher than i would and he was fine aftert that. it took trial and error. Hope that helps!

There is nothing wrong with letting babies cry. That's what they do. If you stop the car and sooth her or nurse her every time she cires, she will QUICKLY learn what she has to do to get your attention. You will then be pulling the car over every time you go somewhere. Who is in charge here, you or the baby? Babies cry in cars, I have a 3 yr old who did and now my 4 month old does. They grow out of it, or they fall asleep. I have seen mirrors that play music in the car. You could try and distract her, but my advice would be not to run to her every time she cires. Babies are smart. If she isn't hungry or poopy, then they are usually just tired.

You have probably already checked this. But, have you made sure the carseat straps aren't too tight. This is probably not your issue. But I thought I would throw it out to you!

You can't spoil a baby that young. Sounds to me she loves you very much. When she hears your voice but can't see you she panicks or grows confused. My advise... if she's calm in the car DON'T take any calls or let her hear your voice. Also choose music that is calm and steady w/out too drastic of changes to tempo and pitch. Do you have a mirror hanging in front of her? I bought a crib mirror that's very bright and colorful w/toys attached and yound it on the head rest and it's helped my car trip dramactically.
Ex...
http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/175-###-###-####-###...

And if I'm doing the math right you have a little Aquarius as do I and they don't like to be held too tight too often. My 2 year old needed to be held tight and swaddled so I just assumed the new baby would to BUT she prefers I hold her w/her back to my chest and her looking out to the world. I hold her gently against me w/her butt resting on my arm and I sway gently and she calms down. One more trick that soothes her when she's really crazy is being held in the same way but w/the water faucet running!

Good luck!
C.
(happy mother of 3)

You might get several responses on this one. My little guy did the exact same thing. Sometimes he was hungry, sometimes he needed to burp and other time he just wanted me to hold him and not be strapped down in the seat. If the crying got too intense I would pull over as soon as I could and take him out to comfort. Usually that would work. There were times when I just had to let him cry and yes he would cry himself to sleep from exhaustion. I promise you it does get better. My little one is now 21 months old and loves to look and ride and all that jazz. He stopped throwing the fits when he was about 3-4 months old. Hope this helps.

My first daughter did this too and a friend recommeded getting some Baby Einstein CDs for her to listen to in the car. Well it worked she's mow 3 and she still loves them. We are now working on taking turns with Mommy on music choices in the car. Good luck!

Yes, you just have to pull over and soothe her. When mine got upset in the carseat, which was everytime I put her in it, I would try all of those same things, passy (which she never cared about), music (I would set it so that it only played in the rear speakers and I would turn it up pretty loud, but not dangerously loud). Some of it would work, some of the time. I finally found that I think that my baby was getting gas in the carseat, probably because she was scrunched up, I bet that is what is happening to your baby too. I would put her in her carseat and after I buckled her in before I began driving I would give her Mylicon gas drops, it worked great! Also, another thing that worked for me was to put her in the carseat and then put a blanket over her which I would tuck very tightly on her sides behind her. Putting her arms and legs in there so they couldn't move. That helped immensely. I think it made her feel more secure and helped keep her from getting overly stimulated. The car ride is stimulating enough, I think her being able to move her hands and feet made it even worse. It really helped her fall asleep better in the car.