Baby Blues - Chico,CA

Hi N.,
It can be caused by any of the things you mentioned, and all of them are probably contributing. The confusion regarding how we are "supposed" to feel is one of the reasons I think post partum depression is so insidious. It is really hard to get a handle on anything (like laundry), much less an ambiguous emotional state, while you are exhausted, sleep deprived, and constantly on the go. I found a superlow dose of breastfeeding friendly drugs to be extremely helpful in assisting me to get over the hump of confusion and disorientation that came along with my second son. I feel like this is a dangerous time to just wait and see how you will feel. I recommend getting help.
Good Luck, and best wishes,
D.

I made an appointment with my primary physician to discuss my mood- I suspected that I was suffering from post-partum. My doctor listened to what I had to say and was very reassuring. She then asked me a few questions relating to my feelings in the last 2 weeks. She determined that I was moderately to severely depressed and prescribed an anti-depressant. Talking about it to the doctor was actually quite theraputic in itself. I felt that I didn't have to hide anymore or try to put on the happy face that I seem to show friends and family. My doctor really made me feel better by saying that the feelings are hormonal but are worse at this stage because of the sleep-deprevation and other factors in my life. It sounds like you have several things going on that might make you feel overwhelmed.
I didn't immediately think that I was depressed and no one could tell but my husband. But I didn't feel like myself. I was sad and tired and had mood swings, feeling angry or resentful for the majority of the day. Plus, having to work full time and try to be a 'ggod wife' is a lot to add to the day when you're a mother.
The meds really helped. I'm on zoloft right now and could feel a difference immediately. I realized that there is no reason to be embarassed about being on meds if it makes me a better mom and wife. Plus, feeling better about myself was something that I hadn't realized I missed until I got out of the PPD fog.
I hope you at least bring the topic up to your OB or reg. doctor. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Hi N.,
I didn't even bother reading any of the other responses because this is a problem I still suffer from and my last baby will be 1 next month, so I just want to share my experience with you and hope that you ask for help. I have 4 girls from 7 years to almost 1. I began not really being myself after my very first baby, but didn't recognize what was going on until the birth of my last baby. Can you believe that??? I completely lost my libido, I was cranky, overwhelmed, exhausted...just a complete reversal of my usual upbeat, happy, grounded self. But I kept attributing it to being tired etc, etc, etc. Wow was that the wrong move. By the time I figured it out I went to see my OB (which is where I recommend you start) and I am in full-blown clinical depression after waiting so long for things to normalize on their own. You may not be that bad, but it doesn't get better if you don't go see your OB and do whatever it is they recommend. I, too, was a little embarrassed for some reason. It seems like there is a stigma attached to baby blues and depression (which, btw, are two different things), and I'm not sure why. I guess we're supposed to be these superhuman creatures who can do anything and everything all at once. When I finally let my guard down and stopped trying to fake it through each day, it was like my life exploded before my very eyes. I literally shut down and fell apart. I finally let myself admit to being depressed and when it hit me, I just couldn't carry on like everything was normal anymore. There is no shame in having baby blues or depression. It is something so many women go through but never say because it doesn't coincide with our vision of being all things for all people. My OB originally put me on Zoloft, but when that didn't work, he referred me to my regular doctor and now I see several specialists for my depression and take several different meds. Yes, I'm sick of taking meds morning and night. But I am not ashamed of it. In fact, just to help me keep my sanity and keep things in perspective, I joke that I am a "medicated woman". Don't let this bizarre stigma keep you from asking for help. I know so many people don't want to be on medication, but think of this. If you had diabetes, you would take whatever pills or insulin you needed to take to keep that disease under control. It is no different with your mental health and, in fact, is probably even more important, because without your mind, you can't do anything at all. I happen to have a very supportive husband, family and church friends that are absolutely awesome help. I still don't know when this will end. I still have days where I can hardly get up. I still have moments (many, many moments!) where I just get in the shower and cry and cry and cry. So there's no guarantee how long it will go on, but surround yourself with a supportive group of people and be painfully honest with them and ask them to help you and be there for you when you feel like you can't take another step. I so feel for you and I am praying for you. Cry when you need to cry, shut down when you need to shut down, and don't feel stupid or guilty either one. People used to go through this and just get shut away in sanitariums for the rest of their lives for this. My great grandmother had depression and that is exactly what they did with her. Thank God we have better ways to deal with it now. God bless and remember you have someone praying for you.

The way Baby Blues vs. Post Partum Depression (PPD) was explained to me by my doctor was BB only last about 2-3 weeks after the baby was born. If it is persising after that you may be suffering from PPD. My advice is to go talk to your OB/GYN immediately.

After I had my son in September 06 I suffered alone for four months. I thought the crying every day was just sleep deprived, angry at hubby, tired, exhausted from endless colic crying, etc. It is not normal to cry all the time or be angry or feel down. My OB put me on an anti-depressent and within a week I felt "like me" again! Don't delay and don't feel stupid. It's normal. PPD can creep up at ANY time during the first year after your baby is born.

Do it today!

J.

TAKING OFF THE GLOVES......JUST IN CASE....PLEASE SHOW YOUR HUSBAND ALL THE COMMENTS TODAY....

N. and All Mama's who keep referring to the problem as just "BABY BLUES"....Do you think Susan Smith really wanted her two little boys to drown in their car seats? Or, do you think, MAYBE, she had some real problems and did not have enough support from her husband and family?

There are other examples that could be used, but my point is; when someone says "I HAVE BAD MOOD SWINGS", it's a cry for help and we need to pay attention. This is NOT the "Baby Blues", this is full blown depression. It will not be cured overnight by diet or vitamin suppliments.

N., you need some relief and help from your husband, family or close friends and your doctors.

I wonder, does your husband even know what you are going through? How about your family?

Blessings.....

AFTER READING YOUR ADDITIONAL COMMENTS....Dear N., I'm happy to hear you have a good husband. Still, the fact that you are having "bad mood swings", with a newborn and two small children, combined will all the other responsibilities you have concerns me. If your husband can't take a little more time from work, you need someone to help out in the house for a while. Especially when he is not at home. Do you have a relative that would be willing to come stay for a few weeks?

Another suggestion, instead of hiring someone to do your grocery shopping, hire someone to stay with the kids and you get out of the house alone and do the shopping. It will give you some quiet time that you probably so desperately need. Do the shopping, go have some lunch...be good to N.!

Blessings.....

AFTER READING THE OTHER RESPONSES---I want to assure you what your are feeling is NOTHING to "LOL" about! Your feelings are real and should be addressed. Blessings....

N.,

What you are describing could be post-partum depression. You are the mother of stair-step children (practically three in a row). You didn’t mention one thing about your husband (don’t know if you have one—hope you do), or the love you feel for your children, which is pretty unusual, especially on this site.

If you are married, what kind of support are you getting from your husband? Does he help with the kids? Does he realize how tired you are and just exactly how you are feeling? If not, please be honest with him immediately. Also, go see your doctor (OB or MD) and just tell them everything you are feeling (physically and mentally)---and don’t be embarrassed. What can they do? They can help you. You may just be exhausted and need some rest and some help with your children. You may need medication. Don’t hesitate to go into emergency if this is something that can’t wait until Monday.

What you are feeling is not uncommon and needs to be addressed. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please take good care of yourself so you can be there for your little ones.

Blessings….

Hi N.,
I had some PPD after my second child and like you I was confused as to what it was. My dad had passed away when I was six months pregnant so I wasn't sure if I was still grieving and sad over my loss or having PPD. I'm thinking now it was both. Everything is connected so you are probably overwhelmed with the new addition to your family, feeling isolated because of being in a new place and certainly sleep deprivation does not help. You can talk to your doctor about it... your OB or regular doctor but they may just want to put you on meds. I rode it out without seeing my doctor about it because I knew I did not want to take meds. But you have to decide what is best for your situation. Is there an Adult School in your area? I'm lucky to live in a town that has an active Parent Center at their Adult School with groups of moms who meet weekly with their kids in age specific groups. These outings get me out of the house, with my kids and around other moms who are going through the same things I am. If there's not something like that, try searching for new mom support groups in your area. That can solve the loneliness factor and if you can work on one aspect it might help in other areas.
Take care!!

N., as someone who suffered twice from post-partum depression, I really encourage you to mention it to your OB as soon as possible. He or she can do the best assessment, and offer you treatment options.

You don't say how old your newborn is, but I think there's a typical baby blues period 3-4 weeks after giving birth. If the blues last much longer than that, then it's time for a serious evaluation. From what I understand, it's a combination of hormonal adjustments and sleep deprivation, so just "catching up on sleep" may not help you any.

Even if you dont have any close friends (and I didnt when I went through this), try to talk to at least one person every day, even if it's just to say hello, how are you. It can be over the phone, just as long as you hear another voice. Keep trying to connect with others who share your interests (hint, don't just look for moms. Women without kids have a lot to offer, too. Look for a fitness group, book club, volunteer group, etc).

Please dont try to treat yourself with over-the-counter mood enhancers or supplements. I'm a very holistic person who always looks first for a natural cure over a prescription, but when it comes to a hormonal imbalance, the wrong supplement can be disastrous.

Wishing you joy, health, prosperity, and peace.
I. (mom of 2)

Hi N.. The "baby blues" are nothing to be embarrassed about. Most of the other responders seem to suggest you don't need medication, and you may not...but I'd advise you not to rule it out. Some women (myself included) need medication for a while to help get them back on level ground...regardless of whether the cause is hormonal or situational. (And I agree that your situation is enough to make ANYONE stressed and depressed--I'm a full-time WAHM when my son naps or my husband can watch him, but I only have ONE child, and it's overwhelming.)

So the advice about taking time for yourself etc. is all good, and I agree with all of it...but I also think that you should DEFINITELY talk to your doctor and be open to medication if that's what he/she thinks you might need.

As for which doctor, I talked to my OB. Because my depression started soon after my son was born, I assumed it was postpartum depression, so I talked to her. And she gave me a prescription without a problem. (In my case, I've had a history of depression, so I kind of figured she was going to suggest medication, and I was open to it if necessary.)

Take care of yourself, okay?!
C.

Hi N.,

I think you are probably just fine :o) What you are experiencing is completely normal, including not knowing if you might have the "baby blues".

It's time for you to somehow work in more moments FOR YOU. Whatever it may be, you need to feel it is only for you. My moment was at 12:30 for a Soap Opera, but I was happy with that 1 moment :O) Eventually I got 2, then 3......

I had a some Post Partum Depression after my 2nd baby, and it's very difficult to believe you can continue to be a "capable mother". If these feelings get more than you can handle, then do not hesitate to call your Doctor. I never called my Dr, but I had the # ready because I recognized the symptoms. After I "admitted" to myself that it was PPD, then I was somehow able to hadnle everything better.

N., hang in there! Any mother in your situation would feel exhausted and overwhelmed without a doubt. Unless you absolutely have to work at home, I would nap with your kids until your are feeling better. Nobody every said you have to "do it all", we just make ourselves feel like we have too :O)

~N. :O)

It could be hormonal, situational or both. After my second daughter was born, I was severely depressed and angry. It's hard to say whether it was just my situation or hormones, but I think it was probably both. I found all the people I talked to were very kind and helpful, so there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Having 3 babies in 3 years is enough to make anyone stressed and in need of a little help.

I seem to remember talking to the social worker and midwife in the midwifery clinic I went to and one of them directed me towards Paxil, but I had a history of depression and it runs in my family which pointed toward a chemical imbalance, so medication may not be the answer for you.

Please don't be ashamed to ask for help. In my opinion, our society makes child rearing unnecessarily hard by isolating parents away from any kind of community and other family members are usually busy or live too far away to help much. In other cultures, it isn't that way. I whole-heartedly believe that it takes a village to raise a child. It is just as important to take care of yourself and ask for the help that you need as it is to take care of your little ones.

Hope you feel better soon!!!

Hi N.. I'm so sorry to hear you're experiencing this, but not surprised. Three children--a newborn no less--and being a working mom, part time or no, is INTENSE. You're doing the hardest work of your, and your children's lives, probably with very little recognition and not a lot of support. If you have a newborn, then part of it probably is hormonal, but the hormonal can influence the emotional in blurry ways so that even after the hormones recede, the emotions don't. If you can get in to see a talk therapist, this is a great plan. If not, and it's bad, don't be ashamed of considering any option that could make you a better mother and a happier person...so you might want to talk to a medical doctor about medication. I wish you the best of luck with this! Hang in there.

Hi N.,

Although most people say depression is phychological, It can often be physical in nature.

Thryroid malfunction is a large cause of depression. Many people are misdaignosed because thyroidism is hard to pinpoint and the tests are not that sensitive. Taking a basal body temp in the morning , upon waking, but before rising, can be a good clue. (look this up online)
Iodine or kelp supplements can help support your thyroid. Look up Idoral online. Iodine deficiency can be: fatigue,depression, hair loss, hoarseness,poor memory and concetration,puffy eyes, cold hands and feet/cold intolerance,vaginitis. Thyroidism also contributes to low vit A.(vaginitis is caused by the low vit A) and you would also see a low copper status.

Too much copper in the body causes post partum depression. Copper increases 2 times during pregnancy!!
http://www.drwilson.com/Articles/copper%20elimination.htm

A Bacterial attack from a UTI can cause fatigue.
A bacterial or viral attack in general, somewhere in the body, can cause fatgue.

Sleep apnea and heart disease can cause fatigue. caffeiene overload, and food allergies (which cause sleepiness after you eat them).

Early symptoms of thiamine (B1) deficiency are: fatigue/tiredness(a big sign), depression, low body temp, irritability, poor memory, lack of initiative,low blood pressure, or sometimes constipation. (foods high in b1 - romaine, aspargus, yellow tuna, raw sunflower seeds,cooked black beans)

B6 deficiency presents with depression, malase, pms, possible sensitivity to noise, mouth and tougne sores. (B6 needs to be taken with b 12 for uptake)In fact the best way to take b vitamins is to just take a B COMPLEX vitamin. Many people are B deficient due to our high carb, high sugar diets. take vit E to help convert the b12 to active form. B6 foods are boiled spinach, raw bell peppers, yellow tuna, raw garlic.

Vit D is called the mood vitamin. Deficiency in vit D can be caused by breastfeeding. In fact if you are breastfeeding you are having the life force sucked out of you ( smile) and should be taking supplements. (think Cod Liver Oil). Walmart carries an orange flavored one. I feel more calm when i take it.

Repeated pregnancies can cause a folic acid (B9)deficiency. (easy bruising, nose bleeds, many colds,infections, hemmeroids, general weak immunity, Light headed, fatigue, irritability, forgetfulness, paleness, lack of appetitie, cant concentrate, cracked sides of mouth,possible chest pain. Make sure you take b12 if you take b9.

Taking fulvic acid (FULVIC not folic) along with your vitamins will help with the uptake of them.Plus it gives all the important trace minerals that our depleted in our foods and soils. It is in ionic form, so it passes cell walls readily. It oxygenates the blood, so it will improve memory, libido, increase energy, alleviate anemia, chelate toxins out of the body, stimulate and rebuild immune system.

The protozoa Blastocycstitis (more common in CA than rest of country) in the gut can cause Anxiety, diarrhea, constipation, fatigue, skin rashes, headache, depression. If affects the serotonin in your gut, and serotonin is resposible for mood. (80% of your serotonin is in your gut). Leafy veggies can be contaminated with it. Farm animals, birds , reptiles, rodents and fish carry it.

The most common nematode infector is roundworm. it can cause anxiety,anemia (tiredness), irritability, poor or ravinous appetite, colic in babies, twitching, insmnia, dry cough.
Parasite worm Archiacanthocephala takes over serotonin. it can be caught from dogs,other humans, or in pork/pigs.

In the USA it is written that 80% of us have some type of parasitic infection (there are humdreds). Vit D deficeincy is high (70%) and vit B deficiency is as well about (40%)
it is said that iodine deficiency is high also. These all block iodine receptors: table salt, chlorine in our drinking water, bromine in baked goods,percholete in milk, splenda, gatorade,atrovent inhalers, can propellant, hot tubs (because of bromine).
http://www.laurapower.com/iodinedeficiency.htm

I hope you find a way to naturally find a cure for your blues, don't go on prescription drugs, which will alter your intestinal flora and will open you up for gut infections,(they love reduced stomach acids caused by antidepressants.)At least have the doctor test your blood levels for deficiencies. Zoloft, which is one of the anti depressants, is found in high concentrations in your blood and breast milk. It causes all kinds of central nervous system problems (birth defects in babies) plus it has high rates of side effects like nausea, tremors, dry mouth, dizzyness, sex problems. AND, 16 % of people on it get Akathisia- which is "being poisoned" by too much of this drug. usually when people go back to the doctor to complain of the poisoning symptoms the doctors INCREASE the dose, and after some years it will lead to PERMANENT central nervous system damage. Doctors won't take patients off of it because of withdrwal symptoms (ssri syndrome) so if you go on this, you will be put on it indefinitely and will be turned into a shell of who you are now. WARNING!!!!!

Gail

Honey, There's not a thing wrong with you.......
Anybody in your position taking care of 3 'babies' so close together AND working while they're napping would be a little down. And without any close friends to talk to/ or help so you could get a break once in a while would even be bleaker.
It has nothing to do with how much you love your kids or how good of a mother you are. The good thing you have going is that you know how you feel and can express it quite well. Good luck! All too soon they'll grow up. P.

N.,

First, its not a dumb question--- :) There are so many women who go through this-- I did and got through it.
You are not alone! Talk to your OB asap. They can help you--- be completely honest with your doctor and they can determine if it is post-partum depression and how to treat you. (baby blues). Congratulations on your new baby!

Molly

Hi N.,
You've got to absolutely exhausted. I know I would be if I were in your shoes. It's hard enough with the 3 year old and the 20 month old, then add in a newborn and you've got to be overwhelmed. Talk to your OB, he/she will know what to do. If they don't give any advise or say it's nothing, then you must talk to someone else. This is a very common feeling after giving birth, so don't ignore it. There are many blogs out there and info on the internet that may be able to help as well. My only advise would be to try to get more sleep. I know this is VERY difficult when a newborn wakes up all the time, but try to sleep in the early evening. Newborns sleep the best between 6:30/7 to 12. Try to get ALL your kids down at 7:30am at the latest and then go to sleep at that time. You should be able to get a couple of good hours before the first feeding. Also, don't try to do too much right now.
I know being a good mom is the hardest job in the world and can be extremely difficult at times. Just focus on the kids needs and yours and you'll be through this before you know it.
Good luck and don't be afraid to share your feelings. You're not alone.
V.

Hello N.: No question is ever dumb. When our last child was born and I chose to have my tubes tied (for medical reasons I still wanted more children) it took alot out of me and I became very sad. The kind of sad that people now call depression. It ment the end of many things for me and also a change in the way my life was going. It also ment that I could now start on those future plans that I hadn't thought would take place for many more years. Something simular may be happening to you. I was counciled to grieve for the changes and the endings and beginnings. It took awhile but I got through it and we adopted a child and fostered others. I was able to become a special education advocate and that has been a blessing. Being sleep deprived, grouchy, and miserable yet still getting the things done that are expected BY You, all fall under the catagory of "baby blues/ depression" so give yourself the gift of taking care of yourself and getting help to get through this. I think not having a real friend is the hardest thing in the world. We moved alot due to military needs. I found church groups helped alot in making friends, my daughter in law tells me they have a MOMS club for parents in her area, Go to the park and just start talking with another mother you will be thrilled to know that she is there looking for a friend as well. You may be to overwhelmed for tot groups but I still have a friend that I met years ago form that. I will be thinking of you and wish you well. Nana G.

It sounds like you have your hands full with those three babies, and I'm sure at least part of it must be exhaustion, whether you feel exhausted or not. You may also be experiencing some hormonal adjustments after the birth of your child... and maybe a little bit of it is due to adjusting to the idea that this is your last child. Even when we are sure we are finished with our families, I think many women feel a sense of loss knowing it's going to be a last child. I would advise you see your doctor about this, but be open to your own feelings as well. Talk with your husband and see what you can work out in the way of some scheduling either with him taking over the children for an hour or so each day, or getting some outside help to relieve you so you can do something to relax and just have time for yourself, to rejuvenate. Also, with three little ones, I'm sure you and hubby could use some together/alone time. Get someone to watch the little ones once a week to give you that time together for several hours. If money is short, spend the money on quality babysitting services and do something that costs nothing or just a small amount together. Just taka a long walk or go out to a park with a picnic dinner, or something of that nature. Or even arrange for someone to care for your kids at their home so you and hubby can stay home for your 'date'. Remember, even though your kids are your top priority right now, sometimes the best thing you can do for them is for their parents to take care of themselves and each other.

I believe you are experiencing the baby blues, which means you are depressed. It is hormonal and physical. When you are not depressed you do not think about things like "I feel lonely, I have no friends" you know what I mean?, if you are not depressed you are content with what goes on in your life and although sometimes we go through stressful situations, we get over them...when you are physically tired you become stressed and after a while depressed. Add the fact that you had a baby and your body is going through hormonal changes as well and the outcome is baby blues(depression).

Talk to your doctors, they can subscribe a low dose antidepressant or recommend activities you can do to get your mind off those feelings. You can also try taking it easy for a week, and see if it helps. Go walking, try a mommy's group, enjoy your kiddos, they grow up so fast.

I hope this helps.

E. :)

Hi N.,
talk to your OB or your family practice doctor. I talked to my OB and she had me fill out a form with questions about my feelings and activities. We then determined that had a mild case of postpartum which is hormonal and can be worse with little or no sleep. I have three kids myself and I know the lonely feeling. Even when you have loving family and friends around I still felt very lonely and overwhelmed. PLEASE talk to your doctor and see if there is a good source of help they can give you. My doctor prescribed a very low dose of anit-depressant which has been all the difference in the world for me. Doesn't help with the lack of sleep but really helps with the lonely feeling and the blues. Good luck!

First of all, congratulations on your newest addition :) You've already gotten some great responses. Now I'm going to apologize now for the length of this response...

I'm going to start by telling you that 1 in 7 mothers in the U.S. will suffer from prenatal or postpartum depression. I'm a part of a Postpartum Moods & Challenges Support working group, and your situation sounds SO similar to mine (and MANY other moms!) that I don't know how I couldn't have recognized my own signs and symptoms when I first started experiencing them. You may or may not be experiencing a perinatal mood disorder, but if you are, there is NOTHING to be embarrassed or ashamed about!!!!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! About 10-15% of women will experience depression druing or after pregnancy. The majority of PMDs are hormonal and treatable through medications, therapy, etc!

In the U.S., over half of women experiencing symptoms of depression during or after pregnancy will not receive treatment. Many feel alone and ashamed, and we ALL need to help to change that. If you're experiencing any symptoms I'm about to list, it's important to talk to your doctor (OB, family, etc) or a mental health professional as soon as possible. I started with my home birth midwife, then talked to my son's pediatrician who gave me some references of psychiatrists.

- feeling sad or down often
- feeling anxious, irritable or restless
- scary thoughts about yourself or baby
- frequent crying or tearfulness
- loss of interest or pleasure in life
- decrease or increase in appetite
- less energy and motivation
- difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
- feeling worthless, hopeless or guilty
- unexplained weight loss or gain
- feeling like life isn't worth living
- having little interest in your baby when no one else is around

You may be feeling just 1, or you may be running the gamut of these symptoms, but the best thing you can do for yourself and your family is to TALK to your doctor.

My son was 15mo before I finally realized that I needed to talk to someone, and by then, it was diagnosed as mild clinical depression. I was reluctant to go on meds because I was still breastfeeding and more than a little embarrassed about my diagnosis (non-understanding & mildly judgmental husband). Boy am I glad that I did!!!!!! Within 2 weeks of being on a low dose of Zoloft, I started to feel like myself again, and now 10 months later, I feel like I'm back to my "old self."

We need to help change the social stigma attached to depression because more and more moms are going untreated. There are many great websites you can turn to for more information, but I urge you to visit www.jennyslight.org. Jenny's Light isn't a health care provider, so the website only serves to provide peer support, but it's a GREAT site with a great message!

Your body's hormones nurtured your baby and prepared for the birth for nine months. The instant that your child was born they have to switch back, a complete 180. The hormonal upheval, sleep deprivation, stress, lack of support and being overwhelmed are extremely taxing on a mom's physical and mental state. Baby blues can happen to anyone at any stage in their life. Talking about it to your doctor so that he/she is aware of what you are going through is a good idea to help you understand what your body is going through and what to expect. If you are comfortable with it you should have your hubby with you. You two are a parnership and right now you need a little TLC. He might not know what to do, because this did not happen with the first two children. I had the Baby Blues. I felt an overwhelming saddness. I had no urge to move out of bed, eat or speak. I would cry for hours. And then I would cry some more because I was sad that I was sad. My husband later shared that he had our lactation consultant and doctor on speed dial because he was scared and did not know what do help me while taking care of our son. It did pass and did not develop into anything more. I don't know what I would of done without the support I recieved. You are not alone.

Sounds familiar. And it's going to be O.k.
I myself have depression since my early 30's (it runs in my family)and after my second child my post part. depres. was draining and felt like it was going on forever. Like you I never felt like harming myself or my family, and that alone says A LOT!!! Please don't take anti-depressants unless absolutely necessary. Those drugs are great for really depressed people who might hurt themselves or others. Plus ,once you start sometimes your told to never stop because it will get worse if you do and then on your medical record you will be taged as Manic Depressive which will prevent you from getting Health Insurance easily. This is what happened to me. I have to fight for medical which still has not been approved yet. Talking to your OB is great, but make sure you explore all your options and listen to your intuition, it's your body not theirs. Don't forget, three children is hard work physically and mentally. Your bound to feel this way, and to be honest , when I took depressants I really didn't feel that much different. I just would go blank instead of crying for two days (some times without any reason).I'm a WAHM with my 11yr and 2yr old and the news of the world isn't any help. Life easily bummes me out when I forget about my blessings. Maybe you need some other tools and to create your safe space. Music, sunshine and some words of wisdom are mine among many others I've developed over the years. Also looking at my children and husband (who is extremely helpful, he cooks better than me,cleans,plays with the kids lol) melts the pain away. People would frown at me when I was down about certain aspects of life, they would say" but you have your kids and husband, your sooo lucky". But it doesn't matter when you start the blues, it's what you feel. And I once read" It's all life, just live it and remember your alive!". Unfortunatly there's no one answer, but you will have the solution after all your research. Just remember that what you are feeling is ok for now and that your not alone. I know how it can get pretty lonely at home -uhgg-, but once your children are in school, you'll be busy and so much will change. That you can count on.
wish you health , love and light (and sleep)

N.,

You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Every one goes through tough times at some point. Recognizing that you are having trouble and asking for help is a sign of strength, even if it isn't easy to do. I've been there and came out the other side.

Baby blues may come from any of the things you mentioned. Each one of them on their own is enough if you ask me. The important thing right now is reaching out and getting some help.

I suggest doing two things, neither of them are easy: Talking to a doctor and calling one of those acquaintances and asking for some help.

It doesn't much matter which doctor you talk to, but it should be someone you feel okay talking to. They may recommend some anti-depressants, but you should also see if you can get a referral for some counseling. It really helps to talk to someone who is not involved in your life to get an outside perspective.

As a busy mom (and boy are you busy), it is very difficult to make new friends--who has the energy? But one way to do that is to reach out to those acquaintances. If they are decent people, they will reach back. Share your feelings.

One thing you don't mention is your children's father or your partner. He is an important part of this equation. You need to let him know what is going on and how to help you relieve some pressure. Even single mothers don't do this entirely on their own--their friends and family pitch in.

Congratulations on your new baby! You have already received lots of excellent advice, but I want to add that your question is not dumb or even kind of dumb. There is no harm in talking to your OB and letting him/her know how you are feeling and that other people seem to think you might have PPD. One thing that is really tough is that, if you are experiencing any type of depression, your motivation to do anything will go down drastically, and that includes your motivation to speak with your doctor. The good news is that most people start to feel at least a bit better after having that first conversation because they have taken a step forward and tend to feel more hopeful. Please remember that there is no shame in experiencing depression. A very large % of the population experiences depression of some sort, with 9.5% of the US population experiencing a depressive disorder (not including minor depression) in a given year. That figure is a bit misleading in that rates in women are significantly higher than in men. Also, 9.5% is just for a given year and does not include minor depression, which really isn't all that minor. It just means that the symptoms are not major enough to be considered "major depression" and do not last two years, at which point the depression can be considered dysthymic disorder. The figures for the % who experience depression at some point during their lifetimes (as opposed to in a given year) is much higher. Specifically with PPD, the National Institue of Mental Health (part of the National Institutes of Health) estimates that 10-15% of women experience PPD with symptoms of a "major" depressive episode. One can only conclude that the number is much higher when including mothers whose PP Depression does not qualify as major (disabling). My point is that, if you do have PPD, you are not alone -- not even close. It is also not your fault or a sign of weakness. Hormones play a significant role in depression in woman. Without close friends around you, talking to a doc is a really good idea. Once you start feeling better, it will probably be easier for you to make friends, despite your busy schedule and the constant interruptions our kids cause when we try to have conversations. When you feel better about yourself (and your calling your question "kind of dumb" makes me wonder how good your self-image is right now), you will have an easier time making friends. I wish you all the best.

Hi N.,

Congrats on the birth your baby. I can imagine how overwhelmed you must feel with three little ones. I think any of us would. And then working part-time on top of that.
I suffered from PPD after the birth of my only child. I wasn't sleeping much, eating poorly, and felt so isolated from my friends who all worked full-time. I called the hospital where I gave birth and they referred me to a counselor who helped me deal with the PPD. I had the opportunity to join a Mommy and Me group which helped me tremendously - I made new friends and had a support network.
Do you have family who can help you out here and there so you can nap/have some time to yourself? Do you have a mother's group in town where you could take the kids and meet others?
Can you take some time off of work?
Can you find ways to put off or get help with housework, etc.?
Best wishes to you - you do have a very heavy schedule.
J.

N., First of all big hugs to you. You have your plate full with a part time job and the 3 little ones.

I just wanted to share with you that there is nothing to be embarassed about. The baby blues are hormonal and they can range from being just that, mild baby blues to a severe post-pardum depression.

I went thru this will all my kids (I have 3) and I wanted to share with you that there is nothing to be ashamed about and to please talk to your OB about this. I think so many times we moms put so much pressure on ourselves to want to do everything, and it is definitely overwhelming.

With my first child, who is now 6 years old, I had pretty bad PPD that my OB put me on some anti-depressants. Those meds really helped me and I'm glad I finally mustered up the courage to talk to her. With my second (who is 4 years old) and my third (who is 2 years old), I did not suffer from PPD but more like mild baby blues. I did still talk to my doctor about it but since it was definitely a mild case, we decided to pass on the meds and just see how things went.

Please rememeber to take it as easy as you can. Don't overschedule yourself and hey, if the dishes don't get cleaned its not the end of the world. You have a full plate with lots of demands right now. And believe me, it will get easier with time and you will adjust.

Please feel free to post or message me - I've been in your shoes before - and I'm also in the same boat in that I don't have many friends around here.

Hugs to you.

A.

LOL, I know what it's like to have people - even complete strangers - ask if I'm OK. Please give yourself a huge hug and know that it is all of the above. You are most definitely sleep deprived, in need of a nap, fluid and vitamins. And often.
Very normal, so don't hesitate to speak with your Dr. Also, try a Mommy Group for making friends and trading babysitting favors so you can have an hour to yourself.. whether you pass out from exhaustion, or just stare out in space. It's YOUR time. Take care!

Dear N.,
First of all, kudos to you as a mother of three. I only have one and I don't think I could handle another. I'm responding to your concerns because I feel like I can relate. My family moved less than 3 years ago and I lost my support system, was overwhelmed as a stay at home mom whose husband was at his job constantly (even at nights and weekends), and depressed. I still suffer from depression, but I really try to focus on the things I actively do and give myself credit for them. I went to a family practice doctor for depression medication. I went to see a counselor both individually and with my husband. I would call up friends and talk with them. And most importantly, do one thing for yourself DAILY to decompress. Ask for your own "time-out," especially when your fuse is about to run out.
I hope this helps!

C.