Awkward Situation

Your friend probably IS a wonderful woman and you are a good friend. But you have to trust your gut. If you feel that you are being manipulated, you probably are. It sure does seem that way to me.

Tell your friend that while you are THRILLED that she has such a talented daughter who clearly has an ear for music, you are just unable to teach at this point.

You are too busy with your family and well, with summer right around the corner - you are SURE that she would understand. Just tell her the truth. You are taking time off from teaching and will be focusing on your own family this year.

Have on hand a list of 5 other people/music stores/learning centers that she can call and wish her daughter the best.

In doing this, you are being true to yourself and being honest with your friend.

You are providing an alternative by supplying her with a list of others that may be able to help out. (Yes - she is on a tight budget and this might not be the ideal option for her - but that is not your problem. You are just trying to be helpful)

You are also excusing yourself from other further obligations while being polite and not harboring bad feelings.

And about the time you put into this child, look at it as an investment in this little girl. Well worth it.

Also, DON'T offer something like "In the fall I might have more time." The mom might take this as a promise and she will keep hounding you. Just go for a clean break while being neighborly.

Then get out of the situation before this gal tries to figure out how else she can take from you!!!!! Enjoy your family and your own quiet time!

Good Luck!

D. in milwaukee

I am a piano teacher that gives lessons to kids of friends too so I understand not wanting to hurt feelings.
Even though you are not "full time" you still have a skill that should be compensated for. You are right to expect to be paid for this service.
Set a price and state if they think that price is not manageable to them they have the option of having lessons every other week. I do allow for a reduced rate for people who have tight budgets.
I think that what you are doing is extremely kind. But you DO have to be fair to yourself. I think that paying for lessons is a reasonable expectation and in the end you will probably still have your friendship.
Good luck to you!

Hi, I am the parent of children who take piano lessons and I have to say that I appreciate our piano teacher SO MUCH. I do tell her but I don't know if she really knows the positive impact she has on our family or my children. I've had to miss lessons, be late for lessons, and there are weeks that my children just won't practice. But she's there for us anyway, a rock. Yes, we do pay her. But I know it's not comparable. I think if you're drawn to teach, you'll feel it. I agree that you should follow your gut and I know it's hardest to do "business" with friends. I'm sorry I don't have a good answer for you, but I want you to know that whatever you choose, it will be for the best. Your thoughtfulness about the situation is really key to success and your kindness to your friend will shine through anyway. Good luck and blessings to you.

First you need to decide if you want to do this or not.

If not tell her it wasn't working out before and your hands are full here are some suggestions where she can go and get lessons.

If you do want to continue tell her a price and if she doesn't like it offer to do lessons every other week.

What about your friend making dinner for you on the days that you teach her daughter. She can bring over a hotdish, or lasagne or something like that. You can either use it that night or stick it in the freezer. Who doesn't need a meal in the freezer for those nights that you just don't want to make anything.

Or you can tell her that with the summer coming up you really didn't want to have any students and you'll have to see in the fall how it fits your schedule. Then give her some ideas for books that will help her daughter continue her learning.

Good Luck.

Be truthful and explain that your time and energy at this point seems to be consumed by your precious boys. Tell her that when you get a free moment, you would rather enjoy some adult conversation with her without taking on another task with youngsters. Simple as that and she would love to hear that you want adult time with her!

You say you don't have the need for babysitting right now, and it hasn't worked out in the past, so I wouldn't go that route again.

I would tell her the rate you want to charge, and she can either take it or leave it. I wouldn't feel bad about it. Everyone has to live within a budget--we don't get to do everything we want. And I wouldn't "invent" a way for her to compensate you. If there is something she can legitimately do to help you, great.

You can certainly refer her to other places that offer inexpensive leassons. I don't play piano, but I would think a high school or college student who has been playing for years and years could help her daughter.