At What Age Do You Start Disciplining?

It was very helpful to me to read Mothering,conforums section on gentle discipline. I don't believe in hitting, time outs and punishments. I do believe in talking it out. It must be really hard to communicate at age one though. and there are ways to redirect a baby. Good Luck

B.,

I feel like a Dr. Sears billboard, but I often find answers I need from their books/website. I have The Discipline Book by Dr. Sears and use it as a guide often. Here is a great article from their site regarding discipline.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060300.asp

M.

Hi B.,

Babies really can't comprehend that they're doing anything wrong at a year old. It's very important to to still firmly say "No!" to her if she's touching something that's dangerous.

What does work is to remove her from the situation and don't make a big deal about. Don't worry, she'll catch on. I she is overwhelming for you, she might just need a little "alone time," and putting her in her crib with a book might do you all good. It's not quite a time-out, but it is, if you know what I mean. This will help her make the transition to a time-out when you're ready.

As for a time-out chair, I'd wait about another six months to a year.

Hi B., this behavior is totally normal, especially for a young toddler. The great thing about this age is that they could be easily distracted. Our three year old did the same thing and most of the time the art of distraction worked. When he would throw a tantrum I would make sure he couldn't hurt himself then go and start playing with one of his toys and act really excited about it. High pitched voice too. Just keep talking about the toy until they stop crying and come to see what all the excitement is about. If you're out and about, same principle works. Find something other than what they want to distract them with, even if it's looking a cool tree outside, etc. If I was in the mood to hear screaming and crying I would sometimes just let him kick and scream until he got tired of doing that. Usually, I would just distract him. We didn't start using time out till he was about 2. We tried prior to that and it didn't work, he was too young. May work for some kids that young, though.
Just be careful with the smack on the hand, it teaches the kids it's ok to hit.
Also, California law states you can only spank on a covered bottom. Research shows that "hitting, spanking" our children is not an effective way to discipline our children. It teaches them to fear us. Yes, our generation may have been spanked, but it doesn't make it ok. I have a friend with 2 grown young men who have ADD and she spanked and hit till she was blue in the face. It never worked. She just found herself hitting harder and harder. Finally she realized it wasn't working and tried other methods of discipline. She now has a Masters degree in social something or other and teaches parenting classes. I can't believe that someone actually said they hit their baby, 6 month old. That's just horrible.
By the way, just wait till she's two-three years old. They start understanding more and get more "defiant, " so you will need a bigger bag of tricks up your sleeve. ;-) Distraction will still work, but not all the time.
Here is an excerpt from the Ask Dr. Sears website:

2. HITTING DEVALUES THE CHILD
The child's self-image begins with how he perceives that others – especially his parents – perceive him Even in the most loving homes, spanking gives a confusing message, especially to a child too young to understand the reason for the whack. Parents spend a lot of time building up their baby or child's sense of being valued, helping the child feel "good." Then the child breaks a glass, you spank, and he feels, "I must be bad."
Even a guilt-relieving hug from a parent after a spank doesn't remove the sting. The child is likely to feel the hit, inside and out, long after the hug. Most children put in this situation will hug to ask for mercy. "If I hug him, daddy will stop hitting me." When spanking is repeated over and over, one message is driven home to the child, "You are weak and defenseless."

Joan, a loving mother, sincerely believed that spanking was a parental right and obligation needed to turn out an obedient child. She felt spanking was "for the child's own good." After several months of spank-controlled discipline, her toddler became withdrawn. She would notice him playing alone in the corner, not interested in playmates, and avoiding eye contact with her. He had lost his previous sparkle. Outwardly he was a "good boy." Inwardly, Spencer thought he was a bad boy. He didn't feel right and he didn't act right. Spanking made him feel smaller and weaker, overpowered by people bigger than him.

SLAPPING HANDS
How tempting it is to slap those daring little hands! Many parents do it without thinking, but consider the consequences. Maria Montessori, one of the earliest opponents of slapping children's hands, believed that children's hands are tools for exploring, an extension of the child's natural curiosity. Slapping them sends a powerful negative message. Sensitive parents we have interviewed all agree that the hands should be off-limits for physical punishment. Research supports this idea. Psychologists studied a group of sixteen fourteen-month-olds playing with their mothers. When one group of toddlers tried to grab a forbidden object, they received a slap on the hand; the other group of toddlers did not receive physical punishment. In follow-up studies of these children seven months later, the punished babies were found to be less skilled at exploring their environment. Better to separate the child from the object or supervise his exploration and leave little hands unhurt.

Here's the website and the whole article:
*www.askdrsears.com/html/6/t062100.asp

B.,
A few questions for you: if you were holding an object that you were planning on buying- something you had been waiting for forever - and someone came up and took it out of your hands, what would your response be? Would you let them get away with that? What if you were standing in line - had been for a while - and someone walked up, in front of you, and began ordering - as if you weren't there. What would you do? I would bet that you would open your mouth and make a "stink" about the injustice that was just done to you. Your one-year-old is doing just that with her behaviour. She is letting you know that whatever just happened to her, pissed her off. However, she doesn't have language to tell you that she is angry or upset about her sister taking her toy away, or not enjoying you saying "no" to her. So, she does what she can, to let you know that she is angry - she has a tantrum.
Acknowledge her behaviour - tell her "wow, you are very angry that I took that toy away, aren't you", or "you don't like it when I ....." Then ignore the behavior. Tell her, "you can cry, but you need to do that in your room". It's ok for you to let her know that you recognize the behaviour, but that you don't like it and you don't have to listen to it. We ALL like to have someone listen to us when we are upset, don't we? We call our friends, or talk to our spouse's and say, "you will not believe what happened to me...." Our children are the same. If you put her in her room, even at one year, when her punishment is finished, pick her up, tell her that you love her, but didn't not like her behaviour and what that behaviour was - complete the conversation from start to finish.
I don't recommend putting her in her crib; that is a safe place to sleep - if you are placing her there several times in a day, I wouldn't want her associating being punished with where she sleeps. I suggest that you place her on a "time-out rug" (it can be a small rug of any sort) in a laundry room, or in a dining room - someplace where she can be "seen" and slighly heard, but can't get hurt.
I do agree that hitting a child - even slightly - on the hand, is useless and harmful in later life. Families of older generations didn't have the research of the consequences of hitting to rely on.
J.

Jane Nelson writes a series of Positive Discipline books.
Positive Parenting classes are also given in certain cities. The purpose is to get positive results using both kindness and firmness.
I highly suggest looking her up.
Good luck.

Hi B.:
Wowww You should be good and confused by now. lol You recieved several different resolves. Many personal opinions about punishment.I thought i'd throw in my two cents.I was one of seven children. Mom and dad were only children,raised by the hand you might say.They were both quite intelligent. Mom was a child podigy,and dad a chemical engineer. (BUT) they neither one,were very good at raising children.I know their hearts were in it. They were only children,and lonely growing up and wanted a big family.I feared my father,my entire childhood,because of his abuse.As a child, I didn't understand. I always thought he merely enjoyed inflicting pain on me,and got pleasure out of making me cry.It took till I was an adult,and had children of my own,to realize how terribly sad and wrong that was. Shortly Before my father passed away,he sat with me,and told me,how terribly wrong he was,and how sorry he felt,for his mistreatment of me all my young life. I'd never seen my daddy cry before.I told him,that I had forgave him years before.and I had.What I didn't tell him,was that he had left permanent scares.That I will live with the remainder of my life. I have a forgiving heart,but I will never forget,nor condone physical punishment.I never harmed my sons. I never felt the need.When they were your daughters age,they couldn't speak but a few words.We all have the need and desire to express ourselves,our emotions.Its impossible for a one year old to tell you what it is thats troubling them. Why would you punish them for trying to communicate the only way they can? If your husband was trying to tell you something,would you throw him in a room to shut him up? This would appear the easy way out of a situation I guess,but would it be productive? Raising and nurturing a child takes alot of your time and patience. Taking the quick or easy way out,of anything, never brought any great results.My response to you would be to Take the time to teach your child to communicate her feelings to you,and Stay away from physically punishing her,as a result of any frustrations you may experience,simply because you aren't able to understand her yet.I wish you and your sweet daughter the very best . J.

At this age I was still dumping him in his crib . . . but I never felt right about it. When I saw my pediatrician at 15 months, he told me to go straight to time outs . . . and that I could've started a long time ago. I told him I was using the crib and he advised me not to do so, as he was concerned this could cause sleeping issues later. I expressed frustration because how the heck else are you supposed to keep them in time out . . . he told me that you hold them there. So we did. And it WORKED. Now at 2 (and he just turned 2 like a week ago), I can walk him over to his corner tell him to go sit in time out, and he does. And he stays on his own. And he's been doing this since he was about 20 months. Works for us . . . we tell him why we're putting him there, and when we let him out, we reiterate, then give him a hug and tell him "mom/dad still loves you very much".

Best of luck, and do what feels right to you!!

~J.

I am reading a great book. So far, his advice has worked. Its called The Happiest Toddler on the Block. I bought my copy at Borders.
http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Toddler-Block-Well-Behaved...

Personally I'd start with getting rid of the smack on the hand. It's not doing anything productive and potentially could be quite distructive. A new study just came out about kids who are hit by their parents, and yes even a smack on the hand is physical hit. Those who are disciplined using physically punishment are more likely to wind up seeking out violent sexual contact, because they learn to equate love with hitting, so stay clear of the hitting. At one years old I would just steer my baby into a new direction, tell her no if it's something I didn't want her to do or have (and be done with it and the no, it's over) then immediately just get her mind onto something else before she can think about it anymore. She's just really too young for timeouts etc so just create something new to replace the thing she wanted to touch or whatever it is she wanted to do, distraction at this age is key, it's essential.

Hey B.,
I totally know what you are feeling. Like, what the heck am I supposed to do about this behavior when you can't reason or explain to a one year old! I read this book called "Raising a Strong willed Child" by Dr. Dobson and it is amazing! It breaks down discipline by ages, or he has another book called "Dare to discipline". At this age it is going to be a lot of distraction and firm voices. My son always threw his food too, he still does it time to time. I would tell him "no" in a firm voice and if he did it again I would lightly smack the back of his hand. that's the thing with the hand slap is it should be more of a shock value than a hurt value. I find that it works well. also, kids are going to test you to see if you can last as long as they can. so if she keeps doing it, keep saying "no" and the hand slap. IF you are inconsistent kids will find those loop holes and get away with what they want. I also taught my son how to say "finish" in sign language so he would just do that sign instead of throwing the food. although some of her actions are due to her age, at this age kids are becoming aware of manipulation. I would really read some books with your same values and stick with those. there's nothing worse than an incosistent parent who you never know will discipline or be permissive. This is my biggest fear too. Just know that you are not alone though! Good luck and have fun with your little princesses.
As for the debate against spanking vs. nonspanking, I would really read some articles on both sides. The world today is definitely against spanking, but there is also evidence on it's effectiveness when it is done in a loving manner. and yes, that is possible. In Dr. Dobson's books, he addresses both sides of the argument which I think is what parents are missing today.

When my 32 year old was only 6 months old she would get very angry and throw temper tantrums too. I read all the books on how to raise a baby. I was told to pick her up and place her in her room, which was just down the hall. She would use up a lot of energy getting herslf back in to the living room where she could begin her tantrum all over again, and I would pick her up again and put her back in her room. We may have repeated this over and over again, but she eventually got tired enough to fall asleep. I would not lock her in her room, as some books suggest, or leave her upstairs, if her room is upstairs. Just remove her from the group. If we were out shopping, I would stop what I was doing, and I took her home and placed her in her room to nap. You end up giving up a lot of time out, but it's all worth it in the end.

okay B., I am no expert and i can say that even the experts don't have the answers, but this is what i am observing with my daughter.
She was born with more energy, more physical determination, more NOW, more of it all. She is very similar to my energy level when i was young and how my mother describes me. She is almost two and after a year of trying to train her not to hit, not bite, not to throw her toys, not to ...(and she really is a wonderful girl) I have discovered, she is who she is and i can not train her out of her being. The only thing i can do is guide her in using her temper successfully.
What this really means, sometimes i'm too tired to know, but ultimately, her person is too bright to have her temper over ride her. So i use as many tools as possible to get through the temperaments.
1. time outs work, even when they don't get it, cause one day they will and it will already be familiar to the them. I find my daughter appreciates time out, cause it allows her to gather herself in private. (yes i am sitting close by)
2. stern conversations i would have with adult work remarkably well, but only used when there is nothing left in me. When she has worn me out completely. I need her to see the effects her energy has on other people.
3. team work, which i am thinking your older child may need to know. Not that she needs to discipline, but to help everyone understand each others energy and what you all need as a family.
4. let go. this is the hardest for me and i have just recently discovered it. once she has the temper tantrum, deal with it through action or conversation, then let it go. My mistake was taking each one personally and being fixated on how to change her. I can't and i won't and it's not personal. She is developing her own identity and as her leader she is asking me to guide her. hard. hard. very hard....
5. i forget the technical term, but you turn a negative into a positive. "No, you can not hit me, but you can ask me for help. Mommy please help." (impossible for a one year old, but it takes so long for all this to sink in, don't be afraid to start now, so when she has the vocabulary, she can use it.
good luck
i wish you well
Good luck.

Hey B...This is going to be a touchy one once all the mommies start reading this and responding. Everyone and their Momma's seem to think they KNOW whats best..well truely and honestly no one knows whats best but YOU and your husband. I am a Navy wife so believe me when I say I KNOW whats it's like with all those underways and them being gone months at a time and weeks on end. It's a hard time when we have to be mom AND dad. Our kids will sometimes act out after Daddy leaves and such but I do believe they adjust just as we do. As for the spanking I am a Psychology major and Child Psychology is my emphasis and let me tell you spanking your kid isnt going to harm them any more than completely ignoring the behavior. If you hit they might think it's ok to hit, well, if you dont hit them and ignore them they may grow up believing that no matter what they do you dont care... Well, thats just not the case. When my daughter was about your little girls age she acted out the same way... I did exactly what your doing. I would tap her hand and firmly tell her no. and remove her from whatever it is she was doing wrong in the first place. of course there are studies that say you shouldnt tell a child no..well really you are going to find a study against or for EVERY single type of discipline. as I said above..you do what works for you. We've all been there a time or two and all kids act out at times. Stick to you guns what ever it is you do end up doing cause eventually it will take effect. Until she reaches two when she will act out all over again..LOL. Then you'll just do something new and go from there. Rarely will my daughter get smacked because the time outs seem to work well. But if she goes above and beyond she will be discliplined nad she knows it so most times if I just warn her she will fix herself. I have a 5 month old boy now..I look forward to see how he will be as he gets older. He seems to have a little temper on him as did my daughter so it will be my turn again soon. Ha..Well good luck and have a great day!

Well, with the throwing herself back, just put her in the middle of the room or bed when she does that, or better yet, put her in her crib. With the throwing food on the floor, just give her a little at a time on her high chair tray. If she drops it, wait a few minutes after telling her no and try again. Either that, or you can feed her yourself.

Hi,
I think you need to act NOW, in my opinion you are several months too late you (in whatever manner you have decided with you husband) set boundries on her behavior, you need to show her that her behavior is unnacceptable and will not be tolerated... by time outs or taking away a specific toy and (many may disagree) with a simple swat on the rear (i always did on the diaper/undies - never on bare skin and I beieve a simple swat with a SHORT "...... <insert her name> mommy is so disapointed in your behavior" put her in a time out chair, on the bottom of a step for your staircase if you have asecond story and then walk away and do like nanny jo does walk away set the timer for a min (1min per yr of age) and be consistant!

hope that helps

Hi B.,
It sounds like you are already disciplining her with your reactions to her behavior. I agree that time outs won't be effective with a one year old because she doesn't understand it. However, if she's throwing food on the floor and the food is removed with a firm "NO, we don't throw food on the floor", she'll make the connection that throwing her food won't be accepted. As far as yelling and throwing her head back, make sure that isn't hurting herself (i.e., throwing her head onto a tile floor) but after a firm "No, we don't behave that way" (or fill in the blank) walk away and ignore the behavior. She'll learn that that kind of behavior isn't going to get her attention. I think that she may seem unphased by your "No!" and smack on the hand because she's putting all the pieces together...if I do this, mommy does that.

Best of luck to you.

Hi B., I know it's hard with your husband away, I was a Military wife, my husband retired in 96, Anyway, starts right away, different stages of discipline with different stages of life. When my babies started crawling and starting touching things, I would tap them on the hand and say no, by the time my kids were a 1 1/2 I could take them anywhere and they would not touch anything, we had 3 kids, no real tatrums, our first one like yours mellow no problems, our second child also a son at about 7 months or so he got mad about something and just started banging his head on the carpet, it has cement underneath, my husband got up went over to him, and swated him on the diaper, and then said stop, he felt no pain, for he was shocked, that was the last time he ever did that, my beautiful little girl, was about 17 months old, and i went to our back patio to light the gril, I closed the sliding door behind me and I guess that made her mad because she started banging her head on the glass, I turned around my husbnad gave her one good swat on the butt, she never did it again, by around 2 kids are starting to get set in their ways, so you have to nip things in the bud while they are small, but always make sure they feel the love. Don't worry about being harsh, a harsh tone can save a child from running out in front of a car, or touching a hot stove, countlrss things. Our kids will face harness all through life from one person or another, J.

Right now is waaay too young to discipline. She has no idea of the concept. She is, in fact, testing you. She is seeing what gets her the attention from mommy and if you address the tantrums AT ALL, they will not stop. My son is almost 2. He started throwing himself on the floor to get me to do what he wanted. He only did this with me, never anyone else! I walk away and go do something else and totally ignore him. This behavior lasted about 6 months, but it is all him testing me to see what I will react to! He rarely does it anymore cuz I do not react the way he wants me to. Do yourself a favor, walk away from her. Tell her that you don't talk to yelling or crying babies and walk away. If she has no audience, she will stop performing! Because your older child is not in need of any discipline, she doesn't see the reaction to the action. She is too young to understand it. SO...that's the best advise I can give, from one B. M to another!!

Hi B.!!

My little girl is almost 2 now. She's a total joy but is also very headstrong. I actually think it's a great quality for her to have and the viewpoint I take is that I want to channel it for good. I would talk to my daughter and explain why not to throw the bowl (or whatever). I actually think just slapping her hand and saying, "No" is just confusing for them. It's not enough information. If she throws her food, then tell her that's it - no more food, and then take it away and clean it up. Ask her what's going on that she's throwing the food. You might get an answer. My daughter likes to throw her bottle on the floor when she's mad and I just take it away - and tell her, "That's it, no more bottle for an hour." When she starts to get to where she can physically do this, get her help in cleaning it up. Do you know why she throws food? Is she angry? Is she having fun? If she's having fun, you just explain that it's not appropriate to throw food. Then take her down and give her a little ball to throw and say it's okay to throw a ball, but not food. The point is, just talk to her and figure out what the source of it is and handle it from the source. Your daughter understands more than you think she does. Oh, and to answer your original question, you can give her a time out if you think so, but to me, at this age it's an absolutely last resort. We started time outs at about 16 months. Not every child is the same, so to say 2 years, or some arbitrary number might not work. It depends upon the ability level of your daughter - where she's at. Good luck!

For baby time-outs I recommend the "Uh-Oh, Plop". You can start this around 9 months. When they do something they are not supposed to do, you say "uh-oh" (or whatever phrase you choose..."Oh My", or "Oh No", etc...) and then plop them in the crib or pack-n-play for about a minute. Return sweetly to get them out and redirect them to an appropriate activity. No need to get angry or stern as it's simply a consequence for the action. You'll be amazed at how quickly they learn.

Wow! I am shocked at some of the responses people have left! I started with the firm no and smack on the hand with my son at 6 months. He completely understands, although at times he also does the "just watch me" stare. I can't believe there are so many people opposed to the smacking! Spare the rod, spoil the child. My generation was spanked (often) as children and for the most part, we are good people. There are always a few kooks, but this is the case with every generation and can't be blamed on discipline. Use your best discretion as you know your children best. Good luck.

All of my kids are like your 1 year old. It sounds to me like you'd benefit from some good parenting classes for tips to help you with his baby. I'd as my peditrician for a good reccomendation.In som ways each child is sort of like a first child since eveyone person's personality is different.

I would stop smacking her hands now! Nothing good comes out of hitting a child. I found at this age the more I ignored the bad behavior, and praised the desired behavior the easier it became. Good luck and get some help.

Ignore her and make a big production of it. Of course you are not really ignoring her you are letting her know that that kind of behavior does not get the attention that she wants. Put her somewhere she cannot get hurt until she stops or start making sad mad faces and noises yourself then laugh. Praise happy "good" behavior with attention....good luck

I started doing light discipline, i.e. short time outs, taking toys, or being put to bed, when my kids started showing a lot of temper or throwing fits. This was between 12 and 18 months. I have four kids, and each of them reached this stage at a different age.
If the discipline is age appropriate and consistant, you should start to see some improvement.

Don't smack her hand, not even a little. That sets a horrible example for your daughters, both of them, that it is okay to hit. It will backfire on you in the long run. You are the adult. Be a mom! Tell her "no" and remove her from the situation when she does something wrong.

i have the same kind of stuff going on! my 7 year old was so good! but then there is my 21 month old. when he throws food, he cleans it up, i give him a towel and he has to wipe it up. of course i had to show him how, and i have to clean it throughly after his good attempt. he does get time outs in the corner for hitting and things like that. he wont stay there for more than 10 seconds, but he does understand that he is in trouble and he is usually good after a time out. i think that if the child is smart enough to do these kinds of things, they are smart enough to start learning about consequences. good luck!

I agree with the response from Wendy A - very well put! I found isolation in the crib very effective at this age. Just 3-5 minutes. It was a great attitude adjuster. My mom was appalled when she found out that I did this because she thought that they would associate their beds as a place of discipline and not a happy place. But it didn't work that way with my kids. It was a safe place where they could be alone and I didn't have to hear them screaming in the same room. They still loved their cribs and happily went to bed at bedtime, and when my mom saw the effectiveness, without negative associations for the crib, she changed her mind.
I also used a smack on the hand and a firm "no." If they did the same thing again, it was off to the crib for a few minutes.
As for the physical nature of discipline, my 6 siblings and I were all spanked, along with many, many people I know, and I have never known anyone into the violent sexual stuff or violent anything. I never "hit" my kids, a spanking is different, and my small 3 and 2 year old boys know the difference. I never allow them to hit each other or anyone else (I do not advocate abuse or any violence), and we don't have a problem with it at all. You do not ever spank to harm your child, a spanking given in love on the bottom (where we have extra padding!) with a brief sting of pain, then hugging and talking afterward is very effective discipline, with no negative psychological effects for anyone I have ever known. I am not saying your one-year-old needs that. My children didn't need that until a little later. If you choose to use that form of discipline, you have to decide the right time. Hand swats and isolation to the crib were all my toddlers needed at this age.

Hi B.,
I have a 14 month old little girl. She is very strong willed and is already ignoring me when I call her.....she thinks it's funny.
I had started to disciplining her when she was around one years old. For example, when she starts to throw her food, I tell her "oh you must be done eating because we don't throw food. Ok, then lets get you out of your seat" If she is really full, then she doesn't mind getting out of the seat, but if she is just playing and is still hungry, she will start to cry when I start cleaning her up. Yesterday, I tried to feed her and she immediatly started to play with the food. (By now she is used to my warnings not to play)I said to her, "no playing with food, if you continue to do it, Mommy will take the food away." She didn't stop and I pulled her out of her chair. She started to cry,then I said "no more playing with your food. I'll come get you in a few minutes and you can sit and eat"
Obviously, your 1 year old may not understand, but, after a while they start to learn that when they throw food, and are taken away, they put 2 and 2 together.
Tantrums are better left ignored. If they don't get what they want from throwing a tantrum, then they usually stop after a while. Just walk away. That might piss her off more, but, you don't want to give her any attention when she throws herself onto the floor.(unless she really hurt herself)
I truly felt that my child understood alot when she was a year old. I already have her saying please and thank you at 14 months old. It started with the word "more". Everything she wanted I would hold it in my hand and say "MORE?" Even if it didn't make sense. Before long, if she wanted something, she would say "more" and I knew that she wanted it. Over the next few months, I would say the word "please" when she would say "more" The repeat "more please". Now, I don't give her something she wants unless I hear a please or a thank you. Of course I have to say to her..."what do you say???" I love it!! It's the cutest thing to hear a 14 month old say "please??" (it sounds like "peas") I see all my hard work paying off.
You must be consistant, that's the key.
Smacking hands doesn't work. Yelling doesn't work, although a stern voice will let them know that you are being serious.
I hope I helped a little!
Good luck!

B.,
The number one thing to remember ....EACH child is a unique individual!!!! Do NOT compare one daugther to the other.
Behavior modification is a sensible and more gentle way to start..especially RIGHT NOW!!!
You do not want to get into a power struggle with your little one and SHE needs to know Right from Wrong! The child development books show that children should understand the concept of "NO" before they are 18 months old.
I teach children with severe disabilities...some with the mental capacity of 3-6 months (mouthing things, drooling) and they are 3-5 years old. I find that praise for the right "behaviors" and CONSISTENCY, really does work! ALL children are capable of learning and they understand MUCH MORE than you think they do.
Create a picture schedule (take pictures of things you want them to do) and things they could "choose" to do as an "incentive". Keep a BOLD and visual chart and be overly excitable when good things happen (FOR BOTH OF YOUR CHILDREN), and be firm and calm and matter of fact when the "BAD" behaviors happen. Time outs are okay, but don't overuse them or they lose their effectiveness. And at this age redirection to more appropriate activities is helpful. BUT CONSISTENCY is the most important part of your rules!!!!!
Take care and be aware that it takes 6-8 weeks for changes to"set-in". And It gets WORSE before it gets Better, because each child wants to have limits set for them, and they need to see how far they CAN "PUSH THE ENVELOPE".
GOOD LUCK!! and take care of yourself!
W.

Right now, it is not cute and you don't want her to treat another person that way or to think that behavior is ok. I suggest to you like I suggest to my daughter regarding my one year old granddaughter, spank her hands and let her cry and think. They do understand their behavior because they don't do it all the time. If you want other people to keep your child and she not act that way around others stop it now. Those little kids grow up to be big kids and the behavior is not so cute when they act that way at 6 or 7 years old and school is not the place for a teacher to raise our children, displine and behavior adjustments should be done at home and when they are older they know how to act...

My son is nearly 10 months old and i have been discipling him for the past 3 months. He has a HUGE personality and pushes his limits everyday. He has started to get it now. I believe that it is never too early to start letting your child know what is ok and what is unacceptable. Every child is so very different that each one needs their own type of discipline. Remember that the sooner you start the easier it hopefully will be as they continue to grow and develop their personality.

Time outs are good, believe me she'll understand!! They know how to push Mommies buttons even at this age!! It starts the minute they enter the world!! Good luck!!

V.