At a Total Loss to Potty Train

Hi K.!
Let me just say you aren't alone! My daughter is 3 years and 3 months and she too has NO INTEREST in potty training. Like you, I am at a loss! We have also tried stickers, a prize box, a special trip to McDonald's, ANYTHING if she'll just go. She is very polite in telling me "no thanks mom" but she just won't do it! Occassionally she will sit on the potty but then nothing happens! I spoke with my pediatrician about it and she said it is a power struggle between me and my daughter and I should just drop the subject of potty training all together. So we have! We have made a little progress...not much but a little is better than one right? Now she tells me when she is going, and she asks me to change her diapers. So I am riding this out for awhile and see where it goes! Have you just tried droppig the subject all together?

I think these posts are just from moms in my area? Are you in or near Central Florida? Let me know if so, we're always up for meeting new friends! You can email me at my personal email ____@____.com.

Thanks and let me know how it goes!

Genia

Hi K.,
I would back off alittle with him, sometimes it makes them refuse it even more. I wouldn't make an issue of it, I would let him see others going so that he can visually relate it and I would find a daycare that is willing to assist with potty trainning and work with you. It helped my daughter who was actually about 3 1/2 when she finally did both and did it without me reminding her to see other kids going on the potty and her desire to be like her peers. I started her at 18mos and it took that long for her, but once she went she did it all the way including naps and night time. I would suggest that once he does atleast sit on the pot for you to maybe stand outside the bathroom door and give alittle privacy. This help my daughter (kinda the community bathroom syndrome, I guess). I would get a small seat for the big toliet and a small toliet and see which works best. Tell him its time to go potty don't ask him, you go and then try to get him to go or atleast sit on the potty. Maybe try to go without at nap time if he is staying dry and try to see if he will go on the potty after his nap. Also read about it and talk about it with him but don't pressure or act disappointed. Once he does go tho, remove them completely, throw them away donate the remainder and no matter what don't go back to them. Lastly don't worry he's just a little guy and chances are he will just go one day and it will be like overnight. Good Luck.

You need to have a few potty's to begin with , one in the car(with things to make disposal easy) One in every bathroom that is used, one in a playroon, or tv room. Now every time you or your husband needs to go to the bathroom, take him with. Store a few books in there that are new and that stay there. Next have playdates with friends that have an older child who does use the bathroom, accompany him with the child each time just to talk about it, and show him how great it is.(peer pressure is a great tool) Next try to have a book that is short and to the point that you read every night(with others) the potty video...Big bear in the blue house video. Then make sure you sit him on a potty every 15 minutes. Of course make a big party fuss over him when he goes and always talk with hope when he can't. Good try, maybe next time.... The potty in the car, bring it with you under the stroller...so he can always have it available and never have to hold his pee till you make it to a potty. And don't use pullups...during the day, let him go naked in house, then plain undies otherwise. When he gets it take him out to choose his new big boy underwear. Good luck, You really need to live for this to happen. It will happen that much faster. L.

K., he is probably still very resistant to go in the toilet because he thinks it will hurt. I had a similar problem with my son at about your son't age. Here's what I did. I found this solution on the internet. I think if you google 'Dr. Kroll' you can find it...
First of all, you need to make sure that he doesn't get constipated again and that his BM's are very easy to push out.
Start him on mineral oil (1 tablespoon in the am, and 1 tablespoon in the pm, and expect a little orange colored leakage in his undies) and tell him it's his tummy medicine so he poops don't hurt him. I mixed it in a little OJ in a medicine cup and my son took it with no problem. Also you can start adding fiber like benefiber to his drinks. With these two things it will make it very difficult for him to hold his bm's in. You must do this every day so that he gets used to having a bm that 'feels good'.
When you can see that he needs to go (pacing around, holding his bottom etc) put him in a diaper and encourage him to go there. Then you and he can dump it in the toilet together. Put him right back in his underpants after he goes (I'm assuming he pees in the potty with no problem)
Then,the next time encourage him to go in the diaper in the bathroom, standing up, or whatever. Once he does this a few times, tell him you are going to make a magic diaper that lets his bm pass right into the potty. Take a diaper and cut a good size hole in the bottom. When he has to go, put it on him and get him to sit on the toilet. After he goes, show him the magic! If he will do this a couple of times, you shoudl be able to convince him to sit on the toilet without the diaper. I got to this stage and bribed my son with a DVD, and that was the end of the problem.
I know this is lengthy, but it really works well. You don't want him withholding his bm's when he's 5 or 6; much easier to resolve the issue now.
Periodically I still give my son (he's 5 now) mineral oil, when I can see that he hasn't gone in a day or so...
Good luck!
(I just re-read, and I can't tell if your son is peeing in the potty or not. If not, then you should back off, like the other moms suggested. Stop pressuring him to use the potty, and keep him pull-ups. Leave it for a month and then try again with underpants. I would continue with the mineral oil and fiber though...)

he is not ready. back off for a few months. i didn't even start potty training my girls until a week after their 3rd birthday. it only took 3 days to be fully potty trained but i didn't offer any rewards for it either.
had i tried earlier i am sure i would have caused problems, they were not ready as they showed 0 interest in potty training. you need to wait for him to show interest otherwise he will get constipated. make sure you ahve potty stuff all over the place, make sure he knows where his big boy underwear is and tell him to tell you when he wants to wear them. and leave it at that.
it will happen.
vlora

Hi K.,

I totally understand what you're going through. My son is also 3 1/2 and wanted nothing to do with going on the potty. I put underwear on him and that did the trick. He didn't like being wet at all. It got to the point where he would catch himself going and run into the potty. I also stopped asking him if he had to go. I would just take him into the potty every half hour of so. It took about 2 1/2 months to fully train him. He just started school this week and I was panicking he wouldn't be trained. It's very frustrating but it's true what they say - they'll go when they're ready. Of course you want to scream in the meantime!

Good luck,
M.