Are You Happy? I Deleted the Obese Question

Updated on January 30, 2013
C.C. asks from Morrisville, PA
40 answers

There I deleted the question.

What can I do next?

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answers from Oklahoma City on

This question has the potential to cause others pain, so why even go there? This is not a topic fit for this type of forum. I worry about the moms out there struggling with weight who read this and then feel sucker punched. Why? What is the point of writing this on a mama webpage? Everyone struggles with some aspect of self discipline to some degree, whether it has to do with weight, gossiping, being judgmental.....

18 moms found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

You are very narrow minded. Don't you think if it was as simple as you say, everyone would be in shape? It's not that simple. Stop it. Just stop.

14 moms found this helpful


answers from Hartford on

What you don't seem to understand is that A.) people read the question remembering that YOU wrote it and B.) will remember what you wrote and C.) how you phrased every word of that post.

It's not what you said, it's how you said it.

12 moms found this helpful

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answers from Sacramento on

Deleting the question does not delete your rudeness or your ignorance.

23 moms found this helpful


answers from Sarasota on

Oh C., bless your heart. NO ONE who is overweight needs to be told. They know it and they also know they would be healthier if they lost weight.

Sooo, in the name of that old Superchunk album, Here's to Shutting Up!

20 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

ETA: You don't get it. Do you? You come on here all high and mighty - believing that you are "helping" people...but you come off as judgmental, condescending, egotistical and "know it all"...for example - your statement - "switching from french fries to sweet potatoes, will make a difference". REALLY? Are you a nutritionist? Instead of TELLING us how to live our lives and WHY we are obese...why not try to UNDERSTAND the other people BEFORE you judge them?


You could have fooled me! Not trying to offend anyone? REALLY?!?!?! Your questions, for the most part, have come off as condescending and judgmental.

You are TRYING to tell me how to feed my children. What YOU feel is better for them. I'm here to tell you - my kids are NOT fat. They are NOT obese. They have had their check ups along with blood draws and their cholesterol, hormones, and other vitals are JUST RIGHT.

Please don't come on here and TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILDREN. You are not my nanny. You are NOT my doctor. IF I ask a question on how to help make my children healthier - then, by ALL MEANS - PLEASE pipe in.

However, you have NOT walked even a STEP in my shoes. Nor anyone else's. You have NO CLUE what MY situation is. You offended some mom's with your last round of questions because you made assumptions and judgement calls without knowing ANY HISTORY of the person....that 4 year old girl at Disneyland that you so ridiculed? What is she is a cancer survivor and has to be medication that MAKES HER FAT? Did you stop to think about that in ANY of your judgment? I don't think so.

So unless people are ASKING you for advice on how to lose weight? Don't assume or judge you know ANYTHING about them or why they are the way they are....

Like I said last time - must be nice to be perfect. Sitting up on that ivory tower. Deigning to give us mere mortals "information" to help us.

have a great day.

20 moms found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

I get you feel you are coming from a place of concern but how you keep wording this shows you are also coming from a place of ignorance.

You are not saying things people don't already know. It is like saying ya know, if you hadn't ran out in front of that car your leg wouldn't be broken, really? well thanks but my leg is still broken isn't it?

People know why they are obese and they know how to change but they lack the support system to do so. So throwing out words comes over as insulting.

If you really want to help obese people get to know some, in the real world. Care about them, support them, listen to them. If you actually listen you will understand talking about french fries isn't going to help anyone.
An interesting fact you need to understand is a fair few of the people insulted here are not fat. I am not fat but even I can see the ignorance in your post.
I don't recall anyone saying you should delete the question, only read it.

19 moms found this helpful


answers from Huntington on

*snort* If making "little changes" were all it took, like sweet potato fries instead of french fries, I would be freaking set. Well aware that losing weight would improve my quality of life....I am aware of that every damn time I look in the mirror. I workout an hour-2 hours per day (zumba, yoga, running, weights), cook 90% of the time from scratch, read food labels, count calories, have maybe 1 cocktail every 2-3 months and don't drink soda. Even with all of that, I am overweight. I am working on it, but I love that someone else is judging me by appearance when I already live more healthily than most of my friends and family. I have a brother that lives on ramen noodles and mountain dew and has never exercised in his life but is trim and looks fit. You just really cannot judge overall health by how someone looks.

19 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

ETA: Pam R., I think the breeding of stupidity is more of a public health concern than obesity.

"for the better good"

So the problem here is that you're self-important. You think you know something that all these fat people don't know. Is that it? I invite you to get over yourself.

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answers from Boston on

C., what you seem to not understand is that heavy people *know they are heavy* already. We have to look at ourselves every day in the mirror. We see the number on the scale. We know what size pants we buy, and it's not single-digit and may be in a different department or entirely different store than where our thinner peers shop.

Here's what you don't get - there are A LOT of heavy people out there who do the right things. For whom "baby steps" really don't do anything. Who already eat 1200-1500 calories a day of balanced, real food - whole grains, lean protein, lots of fruits and vegetables, enough water to drown themselves AND exercise and see little to no weight loss. It doesn't mean that we throw our hands and up and resign ourselves to a lifetime of eating cookies while sitting on the couch, but it does mean that we just might choke the next person who suggest sweet potato fries instead of regular fries, because many of us haven't had a carb with dinner in forever anyway.

When I am really, really trying at weight loss, I can sustain a great effort for 6-12 weeks at a time. 1200-1500 calories a day. No artificial sweeteners (good-bye Diet Coke). Working out 6 days a week - three days of strength training either on my own or in a kettle bell boot camp class plus three days of cardio, a mix of running, biking and swimming. And maybe, just maybe, with all of that effort, I'll lose 5 lbs. and my pants will be looser, but not so much that I go down a size. That's a ridiculous amount of effort and discipline for so little reward when it comes to the scale or tape measure.

So for me, exercise is about getting faster and stronger, not about weight loss. In the past two years, I have done two triathlons, five 5k races, a 10k race, and an obstacle course race and weigh 4 pounds more than I did two years ago. I am doing a two-day, 200 mile bike ride in June and wouldn't be surprised at all of training 60 miles of cycling a week yields little to no weight loss. I hope it does, but I won't be disappointed if it doesn't. I now weigh over 200 lbs and wear a size 16 but would bet that I am stronger, faster and healthier now than 10 years ago, when I was 50 lbs lighter and a size 10.

And yes...I have had my thyroid checked from every test available and it's totally normal. I truly think there's a hormone issue at play but don't have the money to pay for an edocrinology work up that insurance won't cover because my bloodwork is all normal. I have great cholesterol, bp, heart rate, triglyceride and blood sugar levels so my doc knows that I'm not making up what I eat. An unhealthy diet shows up in your blood.

You said that you struggled in school. Well guess what, I didn't. You probably worked harder for mediocre grades than I worked for top grades. You probably didn't always try as hard as you could have because the amount of effort you put in was probably way, way more than the results yeilded. I bet that having someone look at a C or B that you got on a test and saying "well if you only studied harder that would be an A" wouldn't have helped you, right? Keep that in mind when you're judging people who are overweight. And keep your comments and advice to yourself, even if it's with family. The only people you should address overweight with is your minor children, because you are in charge of what they eat and how much activity they get. FWIW, my 4 kids are all super slender and active.

18 moms found this helpful


answers from Anchorage on

You know why you don't tell someone they are fat? That they should eat a sweet potato rather then a fry? That they would be healthier, and in your opinion, happier, at a smaller size? BECAUSE FAT PEOPLE KNOW THEY ARE FAT. They do not need you or anyone else to tell them they are fat. And most fat people know more about what people should be eating and doing to lose weight then any thin person ever will, but that does not make the struggle any easier. And, new flash, some people are actually not only perfectly happy being fat, some prefer it to thin. So before you judge and think everyone should live according to what you think will make them happy, how about taking a step back, and focusing on your family and leaving others to find their own happiness their own way.

17 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

FYI motivational speaking is not your strong suit. Also, deep fried sweat potato fries have as much fat and more calories than regular french fries and are usually dipped in mayo instead of catsup for a double whammy of fat and calories. Though it does contain more vitamins and minerals.
Change comes from within. Telling people they are fat will accomplish nothing. I have an overweight sister and her kids are overweight. I am mystified that she still regularly continues to buy him candy at the store, sodas with his fast food, and seconds on dessert, but this is a free country. Telling her what she already knows isn't going to help, it will however drive a wedge between us. I live by example. If she wants to bring it up, we'll talk about it.

17 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on think people who are obese don't know, and need to be told? They need the food police, huh?

Your "pep talk" is so passive aggressive and backhanded, it's infuriated.

Simply put, you are IGNORANT.

17 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Your right, as a whole, America is getting fatter. Foods of convenience are everywhere. People are sucking down sodas and corn syrup at alarming rates. Even skinny people are living unhealthy life styles. The reason your posts upset so many is because you are making a lot of assumptions about overweight people. I am over weight. I work out regularly (until a leg injury, almost daily). You couldn't find a potato chip in this house if you tried. We cook most meals from scratch...often with food from our garden. Instead of fried potatoes of any kind, we opt for salads. Video games are reserved for rainy or cold days. On weekends you will find us outside...walking, biking, camping, fishing and kayaking. Our summer vacation this year was spent hiking and exploring Yellowstone, not riding rides at some commercial theme park. Our kids are very healthy eaters and active. You are assuming that if I do the things you suggest the weight will magically drop off. It doesn't. I live your suggestions daily and I am still fat. Your posts really don't sound kind and concerned. Your posts sound condescending. You ARE pointing fingers, you are making judgements and assumptions based solely on appearances and you are assuming you have all the answers.

16 moms found this helpful


answers from Columbus on

I have to say, you may be worried about the problem of obesity in our country. I am not offended by your concern. But my number one concern is education. I am deeply concerned about people who post such ignorance, riddled with grammar, spelling, and factual errors, completely without shame. I have no problem with your concern about obesity. I am not obese, my children are not obese. But know that this concern of yours for everyone's wellbeing is actually problematic for me. People like you who are pushing your anti-obesity agenda are causing my underweight 10 year old to think she is obese and needs to diet. I have a problem with your sanctimonious attitude and your coming on here just to preach. This is a place for genuine questions, not your obnoxious self-righteousness. The fact that people took the time to debate you and tell you you were out of line with your first post and you came here to preach again tells me that you are ignorant and disrespectful.
Good luck to you.

16 moms found this helpful


answers from Albany on

Seriously, C., with your apparent knowledge of nutrition and fitness I would think you would already know the answer to your own question, "why are people obese". The answer is simple. I will try to state it very clearly so as you won't need to ask a THIRD time.

When a person consumes more calories then their body uses, the body stores it as fat.

With your obsession with fat people, I would think it would be better spent volunteering in school, writing a book, or appearing on daytime talk shows than to repeatedly drum up trouble and make other moms feel bad on the internet.

It's not the subject matter in itself that's insulting. It's in your lack of empathy for people whose struggles are different from yours.

15 moms found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

So you hate fat people, smoking, Facebook and the holidays. You are full of judgement. No one is perfect. Do I LOVE being "obese"? No, no one with a weight problem likes it and I'm pretty sure we would ALL love to change it overnight if we could. Same thing for smokers, most start at a very young age, become addicted and its very hard to stop. I'm sure they wish they could stop overnight too. Maybe you should stop judging everyone else. Live and let live. Good luck.

15 moms found this helpful


answers from Salinas on

Who in the world are you talking too? Why are you speaking directly to the fat people on here offering your advice? You don't really know any of us, obese or not. I didn't see a question from anyone asking for health advice today.

I'm going to send your tips to my obese brother. If he would just switch to sweet potato fries and go for a family walk. Good lord LISTEN to yourself!

15 moms found this helpful


answers from Santa Barbara on

You had a follow up obesity question?? After your people are fat at Disney, smokers are awful and Facebook reveals too much information?? I missed it, darn client meeting.

Please, please put up a profile picture showing us all your fabulousness?? Come on!!

13 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

Well, there are those of us who are blessed to be a "normal" weight without dieting and exercise. However, that doesn't always mean we're healthier than people who are overweight. I have a friend who is technically considered obese, however her cholesterol is lower than mine, she exercises every day, and eats a very healthy diet. She's just big. Her kids are extremely active too, as is her husband. By your judgment, she is somehow doing something wrong because she's larger. But that's not true! From a health standpoint she is as healthy as can be.

Also, I would invite you to read the latest research on how MUCH more difficult it is for people to lose weight who have always been heavy, than it is for those of us to drop the 5 pounds we gained over the holidays. I know you THINK you know how this works, but actual science proves that you are incorrect. For those who are classified as obese and have been since childhood, it is difficult to the point of impossible to become as thin as those of us who have always been a "normal" weight. Scientifically proven. Look it up. They have to work SO MUCH HARDER to lose the weight, because their bodies have a different mechanism for using/burning/storing fuel (food) than an average-weight person's body does. You can see by watching shows like The Biggest Loser. Those people literally have to work out 8+ hours per day and not eat to lose the weight. A walk around the block instead of playing video games? Uh, no. Sorry.

13 moms found this helpful


answers from Tampa on

It's not that easy for some people. My 6 year old takes meds that cause weight gain. He's a very active boy and is always running around outside. Heck we walk over a mile to school and yet he still does the mile club at school everyday! Even with all that he's still over weight. He doesn't eat sweets or junk food and prefers veggies to anything. God forbid I do treat him to a RARE treat of a happy meal and I get the stares from people like "oh god that fat kid doesnt need that!" People really need to mind their own business when it doesn't affect them.

12 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

You really are something else. I hope you read what people are telling you and take your horribly judgemental ways somewhere else. I also hope you and your family are PERFECT and no one would look at you and think anything was wrong at all. Because I bet if I had a picture, I could find something. Seriously.

Either that, or it's fairly obvious you aren't well educated on common sense and how to be a good person. Stop with this nonsense. Please.

Amanda C - "Sooo, in the name of that old Superchunk album, Here's to Shutting Up!" I LOVE THIS!!!!!

Happy? Not me. You are still horribly judgemental and what's worse is you are probably raising your kids to be the same way. So we all have to deal with it for another generation. Hopefully they are smart enough to realize things aren't always how they look on the outside. I pray they will get that influence from someone other than you!

Pam R - you should take your ignorance wherever C. just took hers. Really, again, I bet your life is perfect and you've never struggled with anything. Seriously...take the words of Amanda C...they are pasted above in my response as well...

12 moms found this helpful


answers from Columbia on

Did you actually have a question, or did you simply use it as a platform to preach your brand of correctness?

A word of advice: Avoid the topic of obesity in this forum. If you want to talk organic or healthy food, talk about it. But avoid weight. Why? Because you simply cannot make generalizations about a person's weight and expect that everyone will accept it.

I'm a rather thin person. Always have been. 5'9", 135lbs. I can pretty much eat what I like because I am genetically predisposed to being thin.

All the other women in my family are pretty thin. Except for my grandmother. When she had a hysterectomy, the doctors left part of an ovary and she gained lots of weight. She was obese. Turns out, she had developed ovarian cancer and it caused her hormones to go haywire. Her weight hid stage 4 cancer for years until it put her in the hospital....and the surgeons removed two tumors, one the size of a grapefruit, and another the size of a football. When they removed the hormone-producing tumor, she began to lose weight...even before she started chemo!

My point is, you DON'T KNOW everyone's struggle. As my grandmother used to say, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. THINK.

BOOYA indeed, Laura!!! Isn't it wonderful to be so blessed?!

11 moms found this helpful


answers from Fargo on

I don't think you understand. It's never been a problem for you so you just. don't. get. it.

I've gained 20 pounds per year since my daughter was diagnosed with her illness, all the while excercising (elliptical, kettle bells, pilates, Walk Away the Pounds, etc) and eating an EXTREMELY healthy diet with good portion control. Do you know why I'm overweight? Stress. I'm not kidding! My body is very healthy, while packing on the weight. Would you like a doctor's note to prove it?

We are a clean eating active family with more than the average amount of stress. I'm the only one who is overweight and trying DESPERATELY to change that. Your "kind, concerned" attempt to educate people like me is offensive. Please understand that your body type doesn't mean that you know how to help people lose weight.

Would you like me to critique your poor punctuation and lack of proper capital letters? I am not trying to be unkind, but you said school was hard for you- why didn't you try harder? Please understand that I don't care if your writing style isn't as up to par. I'm just trying to help you see the correlation between your struggle and mine.

I agree that obesity is a problem, what I disagree with you on is that it's a simple, clear cut issue of putting down the video games and quit shoving fries in the mouth. Sure, a lot of people are like that, but do you really care about them or are you just grossed out by fat people?

I think it's time for you to give this up. If you want to become a personal trainer, dietician, nutrition counselor or the like, go for it! If not, then realize that people don't need your counsel on the subject- especially when you are determined to see things only the way you want to.

10 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

1. We did not evolve to eat the staples of the American diet. Our bodies were not cut out for partially hydrogenated soybean oil, high-fructose corn syrup, and the growth hormones in 99% of our meat, dairy, etc. If you have a whole lot of money and nothing better to do with your time, then yes, you can spend all manner of time putting out perfect little low-calorie snacks. Sorry, but most people don't have that luxury.

2. If people ever, ever at any point hit a low point in life and start overeating, then they will train their bodies to store more energy as fat. If said people then turn around and say no, this is no good, I'm going on a strict diet, that makes the body more efficient at storing fat, and it becomes harder and harder to lose weight. It's a vicious cycle. Statistically, in the aggregate, most people who go on diets wind up heavier than they were at the start.

3. People have better things to do with their time. Imagine a roomful the most wonderful, admirable people you can think of: The nurse who works night shifts saving lives, the foster mom who's taken in 20 kids. Guess what? You're going to be in a room of people who are moderately overweight. Weight gain is a natural outcome of sleep deprivation. Not eating perfectly is an outcome of having too much to do.

I do think you're coming at this with good intentions, but I would caution you to rethink your assumptions. You don't want people telling you that you had a hard time in school because you were lazy, do you? The same applies for people who are overweight.

10 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Wow lady, you really fascinate me! I am so curious to how you look. Mila kunis? You must be perfect in everything that you seem to be so damn critical and just nasty. To be honest, yes I was happy when I was overweight, far more than I am now and have been since I developed an eating disorder at the age or 14 thanks to individuals like you. Remember woman what we judge the most is usually we we tend to encounter. Lets pray and hope that one or your children doesn't end up with an overweight individual, or that you or your husband doesn't end up with an illness that forces you to take mess that cause weight gain. Have you always been so vein and superficial?


Wow lady, you really fascinate me! I am so curious to how you look. Mila kunis? You must be perfect in everything that you seem to be so damn critical and just nasty. To be honest, yes I was happy when I was overweight, far more than I am now and have been since I developed an eating disorder at the age or 14 thanks to individuals like you. Remember woman what we judge the most is usually we we tend to encounter. Lets pray and hope that one or your children doesn't end up with an overweight individual, or that you or your husband doesn't end up with an illness that forces you to take mess that cause weight gain. Have you always been so vein and superficial?

9 moms found this helpful


answers from San Diego on

Yes the obesity rate is troubling. Guess what I AM OBESE!! I am also in the gym 4-6 days a week and work with a trainer. I also eat very low carb and healthy. Now I am not going to lie and say I have always exercised alot and ate super healthy but I can say that in the last 6 mos that I have really picked up on the exercise and been very strict about what has gone in my mouth I have lost NO weight!! I am still 60 pounds overweight. Believe me people that need to lose weight already know and don't need you or anyone else telling them. Isn't there anything in your own life that can be worked on so that you are not so upset by us fatties?

9 moms found this helpful


answers from Louisville on

Without fat people .... and smokers .... and Facebook users, who would there be to make you feel good about yourself, C.?

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

I didn't see this second question. Something tells me that I should be happy about that.

I look at your multiple questions and it seems like you really don't have a lot of people to talk to, so you come on here and kind of "bi*ch" about "stuff". I guess I could ask you to please not do that, but it's your fingers doing the typing, and you can write what you want (unless it's so bad that MP pulls it.) If you want to continue to get bawled out by people, then keep it up.


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answers from Victoria on

ok when i was 23 i was about 260 lbs. i walked three miles every day and consumed 1500 and some days even much less like 500 calories a day. i did not loose not one damn lb!!!! i have not touched a french fry in almost ten years.(btw my body wont process baked sweet potatoes either ) i gained so much weight with the first pregnancy and the second pregnancy i am currently loosing that weight. just so you know my thyroid is off just the slightest bit that the main stream doctors still consider it to be in the norm. i went to a specialist allergy weight loss doctor and was put on the lowest dose 10mg a day. with exercise green veggies and lean meat. healthy oils and a few nuts. my body cannot process fruits. it never has been able to handle sugar. as a kid i would break out in a rash if i ate strawberries, corn, and a huge number of other foods. i out grew the hives but my body never did adapt to the foods. also i believe there are new studies that wheat and other products have been inhanced and are no longer like the wheat of our grandfaters its no good anymore! i regained the weight from eating fruits breads and being healthy durring the prengancies because my docor then recomended that type of diet. trust me i had my share of a doughnut or two. i also believe that people are different and some can count calories, some can eat what ever and stay healthy, but some need to work REALLY impossibly hard at it. (i have been diagnosed as insulin resistant which ten yrs ago mainstream doctors chuckled at but i see those same doctors embracing it too )
\btw my kids have always been in the 90% for weight and height. i asked my doctor why? my sil from china lived with us and couldnt understand why my kids were soooo big. she noted they ate healthy and were active. i spoke with the pedi and said they arent eating alot of junk yes some but not much. he told me to take them off of juice ( i was buying mostly 100% kid friendly not a lot of sugar and mixing with half water so it wasnt much). with in a few months they slimed down and are average weight for the first time my 5 yr old actually fits in 5T now my 3 yr old wears 5T but she has slimmed down about 10 lbs. its not like my doctors werent aware of it and I wasnt helping them. some people just dont process relitively healthy foods either...and arent aware of it.

btw if i eat too much apples and sugary healthy foods my skin dries out and gets dandruf, cracked heals, yeast infextions, all sorts of issues that i dont have when my body is truly healty. i have lost some weight but have about 70 more to go. you just dont know what people are going through and fixing it too.

i was at the houston zoo and a woman said out loud to my baby girl" fat arse baby" and i turned and looked at her and it was all i could do not to push her off the bench she was sitting on. she has no idea how healthy a life my child is living. her body didnt process the juice i was giving her which the pedi had recomeneded giving her healthy juices.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

I'm so sick about hearing about the obesity rate as it's tied into the bmi index. Back in 1998 the government changed the bmi index based on recommendations by a panel. The interesting thing? The panel was made up of several representatives from weight watchers and other companies that make money off dieting. More people in the overweight/obese range means more people who they can sell on their services.

Weight is a number. Period. As a country we should be more interested on health and fitness. Years ago it was easy to get exercise because every day living was a lot of hard work. You didn't turn a handle to get water, you walked to a stream and filled a bucket or pumped it by hand out of your well. You mixed and kneaded your own dough to make bread not drove to a store and bought it. Laundry took days because you actively had to do it instead of dropping it in a machine and pushing a could buttons.

We should be looking to make sure that our children and grandchildren have healthy habits which include bike riding instead of sitting in front of the tv. Eating good quality healthy choices instead of crackers and processed food.

So while I agree with you in part I don't think it's up to me to be bothered by someone else's choices. My mom makes terrible choices but they are her's to make. Although you are coming from a kind place it's not up to you to pressure someone else or question them. Instead make good choices for yourself and your family and invite others to participate in your daily walks or family things.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

i wish someone could summarize what happened for M., but from what i gather from the below you did not make a lot of friends with that post??

6 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Trust me, anyone who is obese knows it. They do not have to be told.
They know what they have to do.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

I think most people know if they are overweight or obese. They also know what they need to do. They just decide for whatever reason that they do not wish to do those things. Both my sister in laws are obese. 1 of them is morbidly obese, as is her husband. I would feel sooo wierd saying anything.

And seriously, sweet potato fries are not that much better than regular fries. I think for a lot of people, it is portion control. My husband eats "healthier" and exercises more than I do but he is still a 29.5 BMI and I amd 25.5. A study just came out that "overweight" people are actualy healthier overall than obese or "correct weight" people. According to height and weight charts I could be 145 lbs and still be normal weight. I was 145 lbs at age 15 and I was a stick! If I was that weight now I would be sickly. Seriously, girlfriend, I would stop posting about obese people. No one likes to be called out on their bad habits and you are not going to change anyone.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

I think proper nutrition is a start but I just don't believe that it all boils down to calories in vs calories out. Food does not equal sustenance all the time. Food can = comfort. Food can fill a void. Food is 'entertainment'.

Like somebody mentioned below, you have those that truly do put forth the effort and their weight doesn't budge. Again I don't think it all comes down to a calorie deficit.

I read a very interesting book that gathered up all the latest research and findings on weight, exercise, etc. It is called "Which comes first, cardio or weights? : fitness myths, training truths, and other surprising discoveries from the science of exercise" by Alex Hutchinson, Ph.D..

Here's an example from the book but not word for word... say you started eating 3 cookies every day after dinner which gave you so many extra calories that you started gaining a pound a week. Do you think at the end of 1 year you would weigh an extra 52 pounds? Contrary to that thought you would NOT gain that much weight because your body would adjust your metabolism for those extra cookies and your net weight gain might only be say 30 pounds. I may not have the facts and figures verbatim from the book but you get the gist.

As I said it is not purely calories in vs calories out. Our bodies are more complex than we give them credit for and that's where metabolism and plateaus come into place.

I don't disagree that more activity is ever a bad thing. I find it frightening that as we age we start to lose muscle mass and that a woman needs to spend over an hour a day doing weight bearing exercises to counter that attrition. The thought is purely exhausting. No wonder people feel defeated before they even get started.

So yes, I agree that proper nutrition and exercise are good things. I just don't think they always show on the scale in an equal ratio to the effort put forth.

Manda F. - I find what you said about England fascinating. What effect do food additives and preservatives have on our overall health? What does the FDA deem safe that should be reconsidered..

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Anchorage on

How old are you? 13?? Grow up.

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answers from Washington DC on

An obese question is simply foreshadowing a heart attack question.

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answers from Washington DC on

soooooo happy!
i've been just sitting around WAITING to see what you'd do with the obese question!
so happy i can now get on with my life.
thank you SOOOOOO much, you sweet little C. c, you!

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answers from Houston on

Hi C. C. I did not see the original post but can tell that it must have been a doosy. My take. I have always been a great size. I am probably perfect weight to others--my secret? I have had lipo twice (only one friend knows), I hate my body even still. My adult son is a gym rat--he once last year looked at my thighs and said, "Mama we need to go to the gym-ugh". From August to January, I took care of a dying dad, was working at a school where the principal hated me and was not dating/no social life. My body seemed to no longer be the temple of envy that it once was. I went clothes shopping last night and the 3-way mirrow was honest and hurtful. I am not going to be mad at your post--I was once you and my son is now the same way I was. My advice to you. Keep up the good diet and exercise because once you give it up--you are in the boat with most of us. My truth.

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answers from Omaha on

Hi,C.. I understand your question lol and I am clinicly obese. Ok in all reality I contain higher muscle tome because I tape average but weigh obese. Whatever to the point.

Until I knew that I had to start loosing weight I thought that o people do not try hard enough or that they cheat on their diet. And yes some do. But by my own struggles, some people its just hard. I work out daily, I have cut portions back so that I am acutally eating less than recommended calories. I eat as healthy as possible (every singe day!) and guess what. In one month I didn't loose anything until I got medical help. I actually gained 4 pounds until I finally asked for help.

I understand the judgement. I was there.

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