Are These Serious Issues in Toddler Behavior?

These are short term serious issues unrelated to everyday life. She doesn't know where she is or who you are in terms of routine. Adults have learned to adapt and have a mature brain. Her brain is literally making new connections and pruning out older connections everyday. Her brain is in the beginning of development and it takes energy to do this. Expect that she'll regress became of the stress.

Babies need routines You're traveling. She doesn't understand most of what's happening. She knows who you are but not why you're making her do things differently than at home. Home is the only place she recognizes. She's in a different space everyday. She's reacting to the unknown. Her comfortable routine is gone. She doesn't know what is happening next even tho she's with you. She's unsure about you. You're very different than you are at home. She is likely to be scared/anxious.

She doesn't want to be on the move again so she fights the car seat. You're right. She can't sleep because she's over stimulated and overly tired. Of course you don't want to miss anything in this country new to you. You're focused on what's happening around you. She feels that disconnect. She feels insecure. She's tired all the time. She's in a different time zone. Her body hasn't adjusted. She's anxious because nothing is the same.

I suggest you empathize with her. Allow more time to put her in her car seat and make transitions. Talk with her in a calm unhurried voice. Perhaps sing. Music is soothing.Sit next to her. Bring things from home with her to the car, her blanket. Give her, her lovey before going to the car. Talk in a relaxed and positive way about what is happening. Tell her you know she tired. Sympathize. Hold her while she cries. Physically forcing a baby and child rarely works when they become hysterical.

Off and on all day. Stop before she get's overly tired. Perhaps lay down with her when it's nap time. Just resting is OK. Focus on her with the goal of both of you relaxing. Hum, sing, play soothing music. Does she lay down in the same or similar space most days.

You're overly tired too. Make space for rest. Perhaps sit down with her and rest
every couple of hours. Talk to her along the way about what she's seeing. Call her by name. Wander away from the crowds once in awhile. Be aware of her feelings and empathize. All of this is hard to do when you're tired and want to see what is happening where you are. So cut yourself some slack. You need rest too. You are doing your best in a stressful and difficult situation.

Hopefully you have her in a pack. If she's in front where she can feel your touch, your heartbeat and hear your voice could help. Hopefully your husband will trade off with you.

Being in a new place, experiencing new things is stressful, even for adults. It's easy to forget the little ones also need more support than at home and difficult to focus on someone else's need when your body is tense.

Letting her cry for 3 hours damages her sense of security. Crying is her way to ask for help. I suggest she will continue refusing to get in seat. She now associates her seat with not getting help, with your tense frustration, with being scared/angry.

Perhaps practice getting in seat while car stays parked. Do not physically put her in seat. Talk calmly about how she must feel. Sympathize perhaps 5 minutes. Take her away from the car and play with her. Continue to do this until she is able to get in seat. Then gradually add more time as you take her to car

Yes, each of those behaviors is somewhat normal. She doesn't want to be confined in a carseat. It's not because she doesn't remember or doesn't understand where she is. It's because she is a normal toddler trying to exert some control over her world. That doesn't mean she gets to win. Carseats are not negotiable. But it is a normal feeling.

It's possible some of her feelings are exacerbated by being away from home or from being over tired.

Getting her into a carseat or a bathtub might continue to be a struggle for some time. i found the most success when i stayed calm. I would just be as matter-of-fact as i could and would simply repeat what needed to happen. No emotion from me. It still stinks, but little by little, they usually get the message that this is going to happen, even if they don't like it.

I also try to give choices whenever possible. It tends to make things a bit easier when you cannot compromise.

I wouldn't give up on the naps so easily. She's overtired. She clearly needs a nap. While that might not happen immediately, if you play around with "quiet time," you might get her to fall asleep. Maybe you need to move the time, maybe you need to read a book (or 2) to her to help her relax. A CD might do that as well. If nothing else works, don't leave the room until she does fall asleep. You might have to do that for a few days before you can leave her to fall asleep on her own. But I would seriously think about what you can do so that she WILL take a nap.

You might find that if she naps, your other problems will significantly improve.

My first child would go rigid sometimes when I tried to get him into his car seat, or stroller seat or high chair.

I was a first time mom and had gone past his cues - he was either over tired, cranky, too hungry, whatever. He was past his limit.

If I gave him his soothing object he'd usually cry for a bit, and then pass out tired. I kind of learned the hard way - that if he had tantrums like that - to start things earlier (make sure he'd napped earlier, had snack earlier, not tackle so much in the morning, etc.).

Mine didn't go on that much no. 3 hours of yelling sounds a bit extreme (to me).

While some people travel with kids of all ages, it seems to be putting a strain on your child and she isn't coping well.
If it looks like she's having a seizure - take her to a doctor and find out if she is.
30 minutes of hysteria and not knowing who you are sounds pretty serious to me.

Hi S., I had to smile when I read this. This sounds so much like my son at that age. (He’s 23 now). Like what another commenter said, these children are very strong-willed. also in my son’s case, a highly sensitive child. ( there’s a book called the highly sensitive person that you may want to read). What we found, is that any change, such as your trip to Europe, we had to prepare him for changes in the routine or hysteria would ensue. At preschool, stopping one activity and transitioning to another would set him off. The school had a great director and worked with the teacher on prepping him to stop one activity and moving to another. They are typically very bright kids as well and I learned actually a lot about all this from the preschool dir who had her masters in gifted and talented. He also didn’t nap so quiet time was a part of the day when he would just sit and look at books- it was just a part of the routine. The only time he would nap is if he was in the back pack, never in a stroller or car or his bed. If he didn’t get this quiet time in, then he would have night terrors at night. By kindergarten none of this was even an issue anymore!

Hello,

Your daughter just might be an overly sensitive person, so when her environment changes, and she feels overstimulated by it, then she has temper tantrums. But of course 2 year olds are also notorious for throwing temper tantrums, terrible 2’s....... also 2 is a rough age because they can’t exactly talk to you very well, so her way of communicating is to get really angry. Start looking at the situations where she got really angry, rude from the airport..... she just spent hours and hours on a plane - traumatic for her i’m sure. I am not sure if you talk to her to tell her what is going on, but if you don’t already, try tellling her what is happening- get her ready. For example, you’re going in the car, start telling her 30 minutes before and even walk her out to the car and let her inspect things, and then distract her with a favorite toy or little finger snack. Let her go back and forth from the house to the car, and if she gets in, even if it’s too early, then go anyway and you’ll just be really early. It sounds like she just feels overstimulated and frustrated. But also keep mind that if she is an overly sensitive person you will have to change your strategies with her.

i don't know if your child is having a seizure, but if she seems to be you need to get her to a doctor.

as for behaviors, routines are a 2 year old's best friend. if you have good solid established routines you can apply them anywhere in the world, and your toddler will be soothed by them.

doesn't mean that the strangeness of her surroundings won't impact her. but if her waking, napping, mealtime, storytime and snuggle times are familiar, that will ground her.

if she's behaving way outside of her normal patterns, then you need to see a doctor.
khairete
S.

Your child sounds like she's very strong-willed and inflexible. This is how she is hard-wired.

She needs more structure. It's hard when you are traveling. She isn't able to keep up.

That being said, it's not a good thing for her to be able to cry for 3 hours in a car seat. You need to ratchet back your traveling until she is older.

Some children are able to roll with the punches. Some are not. Making a child who can't is like forcing a square peg into a round hole.

So one day my son who LOVED the bath with all his heart would just not get in it. I was baffled. He would cry, etc. He was probably around 2. Long story short, I figured out that he had gotten "burned" by the hot water when we were at a relative's house and he was so scared in his little 2 year old mind that he only associated the bath with that. Now mind you, i was the one giving him the bath at this relative's house it just took me a while to figure out that was the issue. So it's possible that your daughter maybe got pinched by the car seat and is now afraid of it. Maybe you did it on accident and didn't even notice, maybe someone else did it, who knows. It could also totally be a phase. Two year olds are their own breed and sometimes things set them off and we never know why! I doubt it's a serious issue although it is super frustrating.