Are These off Limits?

Neither of us has anything to hide. We don't make an issue of what's private/what's not because neither of us really cares if the other opens mail, goes into a drawer, wallet, etc. Having said that, DH never seems to want to go into the black hole that is my handbag. If I tell him to go in my bag or wallet for something, he always brings the whole bag to me like it's the arc of the covenant - lol. Computer logins aren't private and we often find the other person still logged in when we go to use the computer. Email, private messages - whatever - I have no secrets and neither does he.

We do what Bug does except for birthday cards and such. We don't open those that come in the mail addressed to each other. That would seem like opening a gift that was addressed to someone else.

Other than that, we're also open books.

I open all the mail. If I gave it to him, it would never get opened. We both put laundry away, so we're in each others' drawers. we go into each others' wallets for money. Some would say we have no privacy, I would say we have nothing to hide:)

I am very sensitive about personal space- except when it comes to my husband! I have absolutely nothing to hide from him, and he has nothing to hide from me.

We open each others mail and have full access to dresser drawers, purses and wallets, except in the event that one of us says, "Can you please stay out of such and such place until the day after your birthday/Christmas/anniversary....etc. " So no nice surprises are ruined.

It's only rude, snooping, violating, and such, if you make it out to be. I don't go looking for dirt on my husband when I go put his undies away. :) I'm just there to do the laundry.

Everything is considered "ours"...we don't give it a second thought. I am not hiding anything and I don't see or feel that he is either.

I open all our mail. (Not in a nosy way, my husband just doesn't want to. So, it's a task I don't mind.) My husband tends to let his socks and boxers get ragged. I look through underwear and sock drawers a few times a year, to replace. That's different, though. I don't snoop. I gather you mean in a snooping way? If he needs something from my purse, he goes and gets it. I don't care if he does it. He's not snooping around in there. (He wouldn't find anything, if he did.)

We are open books. Either of us can look at or though anything, if we wanted. Thing is, we don't want or need to. We trust each other, and don't need to check up.

ETA: I should mention that my sewing table and watercolor corner, and his art desk our off limits. We are often in the middle of projects. So, we do have some off limits areas. I'm not sure that's what you are getting at though. Everything else is "ours."

I typically open all the mail. Since I put my husbands laundry away, I am in his dresser any way. If I need cash I go into his wallet. He on the other hand set up my FB and email accounts so he knows all my passwords. We have no reason to snoop though. Those that have nothing to hide, hide nothing:).

Updated

I injured my knee and ask my husband to go in my sock drawer and get my socks and my underwear drawer to get my watch. He didn't know where either of those drawers were and we have been married for 17 years:)

Of course.

We were married.

Whomever got the mail, got the mail. Whomever was putting away clothes opened drawer. Whomever needed to fish out a receipt or phone or business card did so.

HIWECER... If this was just someone I was dating?
Unless I said: Hey! Grab the whatever out of my (purse, 3rd drawer down, envelope, etc.).. Then it would be a breach of privacy.

Absolutely, because we trust each other. I know that what he gets isn't private and he knows that what I get isn't private.....because we share everything! We are a couple, a team, married!!

ETA: After reading some of the other responses, I don't do this in a snooping way, it's just the way it is. Whoever gets the mail opens it and dispurses of it (unless it's a card or personal written letter.) I go in his drawers all the time to put stuff away, look for a specific item etc. He is welcome to go into my purse anytime, although he'd rather not most of the time because he refers to it as a "black hole" and can never find anything. I go into his wallet all the time to get a card out or looking for cash. Even worse, we don't ever log out of our FaceBook accounts, so when we get on if there is a new message we'll look and tell the other person "Hey, you have a new message from so and so." Then we usually will say, "Can you read it to me" or even "Well, what does it say?"
Gasp!!! Could you imagine!!! The horrors of sharing your ENTIRE life with another person.
We don't even give it a second thought and I would assume that that's how most other couples are as well....guess I was wrong.

Not unless I need to. LOL

I mean... generally, I don't care about his wallet. But sometimes, when I am balancing the checkbook, he'll be gone running or something, and I'll check for any gas receipts he might've forgotten to give me.

As for mail, not much comes address specifically to him alone. Most of it is to both of us, or to "homeowner", or it is an obvious bill that happens to be in one or the other of our names. Most of it is in my name, but some of it is in his. He doesn't pay the bills, I do. So I open those. And good thing I do, too, because he knows they are bills and so he doesn't open them.... just gives them to me.

He won't go in my purse. If he is walking out the door and asks if I have any cash, and I say, "yeah.. there's cash in my wallet," he'll stand there right in front of my purse and say, "well, will you come get it for me?" I don't know if he was just brought up to respect a woman's privacy with a purse, or whether he just doesn't want to dig through it to find my wallet and search for cash. ;)

We don't really have dressers in the bedroom. We have built-in drawers in the bathroom. And mostly all that is in his is clothes (underwear, Tshirts, socks, shaving stuff/contact lenses). Since I put those things away, of course I open them. He opens my one drawer that I keep spare razors and toothbrushes in. Otherwise, he doesn't bother with my drawers.
Would I care if he did? Only if he came across the birthday card I bought a month ago and stashed until time to give it.
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ETA: If you are really interested in "snooping" then I am surprised you didn't mention cell phones. That seems to be the primary "snoop" issue for people. As for phones, I use his, he uses mine, we don't care. (well except that he puts mine down where ever he was when he finished instead of putting it back so I know where it is). We have nothing to hide.

I tell hubby to hand me my phone in the outside pocket of my purse and he hands me the whole purse, without touching it inside. He has strong issues about what is personal space. I don't give a hoot. I don't have any privacy issues except here on mamapedia. I can't stand for anyone to come up while I am typing and read the question and what I'm typing. I feel so violated....lol.

So I would not care if he opened every piece of mail no matter who it was addressed to.

yes we do. Not because we are snooping, but if I need some cash, he will just tell me to get it from his wallet. Or if he needs help finding something, I'll check his drawer and usually find it. We both have nothing to hide.

We have nothing to hide and neither of us care.
I'm the one putting away our laundry so I'm in his dresser drawers all the time. My purse is a bottomless pit of all manner of things everyone always needs. He does have to ask because he can never find anything though LOL
Opening mail, I do all the bill paying and such so I open everything. I will hand him something if it's something I don't deal with (like our 401K/retirement) and I always make sure birthday cards or the like he gets to open just because. But there is nothing to hide there in the mail either.
We grab each other's phone all the time, we only have one Facebook account in my name that he reads because we have common friends.
If your reason to be getting into things is to snoop and because you feel like you don't trust him or he doesn't trust you then there is something wrong with your relationship that needs to be resolved. If someone is intentionally hiding something (other than the obvious like a present or surprise) there are issues that need to be resolved.

You've asked questions about trust before. No, it is not "off limits" but I don't go poking through DH's drawers or briefcase because I trust him. If you don't trust someone, you rifle through their things. If you do, you don't. I open mail addressed to him only if it's a bill or something like that. He doesn't open letters from my grandmother to me, and I don't open birthday cards to him, etc. I know his email password but don't use it. He doesn't go through my purse. We trust each other.

No they aren't off limits.
Why would they be? There's nothing to hide. Do I do it regularly? no.
Is it off limits? no , not something I really think about though. What's his is mine and what's mine is his.

I usually open mail addressed to him if it looks like junk, a check that we've been waiting for, etc. Anything from his work or tribe, I do not open. However, he does not care if I do. He has never opened my mail but I do not care either. Our drawers are not off limits - we can go in any of each other's drawers. I'm sure I go through his more than he does through mine mainly because I put most of the laundry away!! Wallets - I have no need to go through his but he would not mind. He will not go through my purse or wallet though. If I tell him something is in my wallet or purse - he brings me the entire thing for me to go through. It's comical.

I don't open most mail - just throw it on my husband's desk. He then opens all of it (unless I see something interesting like a magazine or a hand written note, etc). If I need something in his dresser or wallet I wouldn't think twice about getting it, but I can't think of the last time that occurred. Not much I would need in his stuff.

I have no problem with him opening my mail, going through my purse, perusing my phone, opening my email, etc. I'm not attempting to hide anything.

My husband and I open eachother's mail sometimes, but as far as purses, coats, wallets etc. not unless we ask eachother. It works well for us.

I have the right to see everything in my house. So does my husband. Period.

I do not understand people who are married thinking that they cannot open each other's mail. Makes no sense to me.

There ya go!
Dawn

question 1: nope
question 2: yep

We don't open each other's birthday cards and stuff, but everything else is fine. During Christmas we know not to open packages, since it could be a Christmas present we don't want each other to see yet.

@McMama same with my hubs too, brings me the whole purse. He calls it the black hole :P he won't even attempt to find anything in there. I open his mail because if I didn't it would sit there forever!! and having a stack of mail that just keeps growing and growing drives me CRAZY! So I open the mail and toss the junk, he gets important letters in front of his comp. Drawers? Heck yes! I put his clothes away and I know that his t-shirts are the best PJs (they are so soft, for some weird reason but mine are all stiff) so I will def be going through his drawers. His wallet? I dont think I have ever looked through his wallet, no need though he doesn't carry cash and when I ask for his c-card he hands it over.

No, that's really rude!

None of the above. We trust each other.

I don't have any need to go through my husband's mail, nor does he go through mine and no we don't open up things addressed to the other. Seeing as I am the one who does the laundry of course I go through the dresser drawers, and while sure he's free to go through my purse as I am I to go through his wallet neither of us do. It's not a matter of something being off limits but rather a matter of personal respect and boundaries for us.

Bills and stuff = yes. Personal looking mail = no. There is no drawer off limits to each other in our house. I put away laundry...he digs through my "secret" candy stash sometimes. Wallets = yes (hey honey, do you have a five or a ten? Uh, yea...go get it out of my wallet). Although he is a bit scared of my purse...most times he will carry the whole thing to me to get whatever out of it because the depths of it is mind boggling to him.

Not really. We don't see it as hiding something, it's just not something we practice.

Even if I tell him "xxxxxx is in my purse", he will bring me my purse. I don't go through his wallet, I don't go through his drawers.

Would I care if he did? Not unless I was hiding something.

Would he care if I did? Yes I do think he would and not because he's hiding anything. he just feels that way. I don't see anything wrong with it. So I respect his stuff.

He tells me anything and everything anyway...we talk.

I tend to open all household mail regardless of who it is addressed to. Hubby will sometimes open it.

We do not go into or through each other's dressser drawers, purse or wallet. If my hubby asks me to get his license or card from his wallet, I will.

I open almost all the mail that comes into the house... my job is to keep the paper work & pay the bills, so I open everything. As for wallet he doesn't carry one & I have nothing to hide in mine... just the store advantage card, bank card, insurance card and ID. The purses is a diaper bag... so if he needs a diaper, wipes or a pad he can go for it, save me the diaper change work & hey he can have the "friend" visit him for a few months too :) And we share a dresser, so really their isn't anything "special" hidden there as well. We are kinda open & honest to eachother... guess after 18 yrs of marrage & 20 yr together - we are kinda one person in many ways.

Both of us do what we need to do: put away laundry, pay bills, etc.

I leave his personal correspondence for him to open, as it is not addressed to me. He does the same.

As for wallets: we might get into each other's wallets once in a very blue moon (I think I've opened up his wallet about four times in the 12 years we've been together), and it's usually for getting cash from each other. We are very, very good about letting the other person know, just common courtesy.

I open all of the mail. Or if I see he has opened it, then I might ask what it was, since I handle all of the household bills and such. I can go through his wallet, phone, drawers, whatever. He can go through mine. We don't though. I used to because I didn't trust him. Thank God that time is over.

I pay the bills, so I pretty much open everything that comes in the mail. Hubby can and sometimes does, but mostly leaves it for me.

He'll go in and get money out of my wallet if he needs it, I don't care (unless *I* need cash LOL)

It seems to me that the intentions matter most. If you don't normally go in the wallet/purse or look in drawers and suddenly start snooping, there is an issue with that. Looking through your SO things to "find" stuff means there is a serious lack or breach or trust.

I open most of the mail, unless it looks personal for him. Then I leave it for him to open. I never look in his wallet and he never looks in my purse unless I need him to grab something out of it. Dressers are open to both to put clothes away and we both have access. We don't have any trust issues, so these are things we just don't think about. If I looked in his wallet, he wouldn't care.

My ex and I did not open mail addressed to the other unless it was a utility bill or the mortgage bill. Period.
He did not go into my purse or my wallet unless he asked for and received permission to do so. I did not go into his wallet without permission.
We did not dig through each other's personal space. He had no reason to go through my dresser drawers and I had no reason to go through his. I put away my laundry and he put away his. We each took care of buying our own socks and underwear, so there was no need for either of us to take inventory of the other's intimate garments .
It wasn't a matter of us not trusting one another. It was a matter or each of us respecting the other's right to privacy.

I open some of the mail in my husband's name - bills, notifications, tax stuff - because I am the person that handles those things. He isn't interested in reading the water bill, so he won't even open it. I don't open is personal/fun mail. Letters, cards, Netflix, packages, etc.

I put away all the laundry, so I suppose I do look in his drawers on a regular basis. There is nothing in them but laundry. He should hide presents to me in there! :-D The only times I've opened his wallet is to put cash in it.