Are "Girl's Trips" for Single Women Only?

Updated on May 20, 2013
C.L. asks from Florissant, MO
36 answers

I am a recently engaged woman who lives with her fiance. We have a total of three children in our home, my 10 year old daughter and his 10 year old daughter and 7 year old son. My fiance has very few friends and for the most part he is content with that. Me on the other hand have a few more friends, particularly my best friend of 30+ years who is single. For years my friend has tried to get me to go on a girl's trip, somewhere near the ocean where we can lay by the beach, hang out and get all dolled up and dine at fancy restaurants.

I have a bit of a dilemma...I kind of feel like I owe her, because we have never gone anywhere really far away...the furthest was a trip to Chicago for a concert. The other part of me really does not want to go out of state, on vacation without my fiance. Who wants to be in a beautiful place without their lover??? I also feel guilty about leaving my daughter.

My fiance suggested that we invite another guy for her and make it a couples trip. He stated that "Girl's Trips" are for single women. I sort of feel where he is coming from. I honestly feel like if he wanted to go on an all guys trip, I would not be too happy about it.

Any advice???!!! I am totally torn!! HELP!!!

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answers from Wausau on

I never took girls trips until after I was married and had kids. My husband also does his own thing with his guy friends on occasion. We've been married almost 15 years.

If you don't want to go, then don't. That's just fine. But do not try to make it a couples trip. You were invited to a girls trip; you don't get to change the parameters of the invitation.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

I have been married for 14 years and have 3 kids. I take girls trips, my husband takes guys trips and we take couple trips. We are happily married! !! I think it's fine,but that's my opinion.:)

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

My SILs and I went on a girl's Trip last summer and we plan on doing it again this summer. This is 3 happily married women. Sometimes you just need to get away and just do fun things with the girls. We stayed in a hotel together, went to the beach, drank, went out to eat and went on a boat cruise. It was a lot of fun.

2 moms found this helpful

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answers from Washington DC on

That is the silliest thing I have ever heard. Once you're involved with someone are you no longer a "girl"? I mean, really.

Go if you want to go, stay home if you want to stay home. Make sure you make YOU a priority in life though or you and fiance won't stay so happy. It's important to focus on yourself, something I'm learning after 3 kids and 9 years of marriage.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

I have gone on many, many trips over the years, with friends, my sister, my cousin, my mother/sister in laws and my daughters.
My husband goes on a week long golf trip with his brothers and some other guy friends every summer. He's also gone on a few fishing trips, and of course some business trips without me.
What's wrong with spending time away from a spouse or child, especially a child as old as ten? I guess I just don't understand your dilemma. I mean, if you don't really want to go then don't go, but I don't see what travel has to do with being single or married, this is America not the middle east!

5 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Good Lord. Go on a girl's trip. ENCOURAGE him to go on a guy's trip. One of these days, you are not going to be all lovey dovey and pining for each other every minute. You are going to want a day or two apart. So, set a precedent for that NOW, because now is when precedents get set.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Austin on

I would make it a girls trip this time.. and next time see if she wants to do a couples trip..

Many men do not have close friends, but that should not stop us women from having and keeping our best friends. Heck, I am closer to my women friends than I am my sister and same for her.

Remember women tend to live longer than men.. we will need our girlfriends after our men are gone.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Girls trips are NOT just for single women! You both should be able to spend quality time with each other in addition to quality time separately with your own friends...and not feel guilty about doing so.

I have girls' nights out about every 8-12 weeks with my bff and have gone away for weekend trips with the girls. My DH is perfectly fine with this as I am with his having guy time that doesn't include the wives, etc.

If you want to go on a trip with your friend do it!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Tampa on

Girl trips are for all women. I find it sad that someone would not enjoy a beautiful place without a man. I think bringing a man for your friend during what was supposed to be a girls trip would be insulting.

A girls trip is for friends to have fun and catch up with each other. I've been married for 12 years and until my son was born I participated in a girls trip every year with my old college roommates. We had a blast! Once at a beach, once in Atlantic City etc. They are all married with children. I spent only two nights away from my son ever and it was for my only girls trip after he was born (he was 4). I understand the not wanting to leave your child far more than not wanting to leave your man, I guess.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Girls trips are not for single women only.
It is a time to get together & enjoy some down time doing the things that
only girls like to do like getting pedicures & shopping.
You can always go to a beautiful place w/your fiance another time on
another trip.
This is a time for women to talk uninterrupted, bond, keep those special
ties close, relax & breathe a little amongst people who understand what
you are going through as a mom.
I say go & enjoy yourself.
If where she has suggested is too far, find somewhere closer so you feel
more comfortable being away from your kids.
Just let your fiance know it's not a time to get crazy like teenagers, it's a
time to relax with some down time getting pedicures.
I hope you go & have fun.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Girl trips are absolutley NOT just for single women. It is so important to stay close to your friends and connect with them without always having your kids and husbands around. It is also so unbelievably nice to just get away!

Going on a trip to the beach with my best friend would be a dream come true right now!!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Depends on what you call a "girls trip".

Girls going to a bar and getting drunk and flirting with guys may be ok for single girls, but why would a married woman even consider it? How would a married woman feel if her husband did the same thing?

I know a woman that did a 7-day cruise with three of her girl friends, all single. They had a wonderful time acting like single women. They were all divorced multiple times, except the married woman. (If that doesn't tell you something . . .) The married woman would always get very quiet when the subject of the cruise came up, but over the years the single women let slip some of their "adventures". I can understand why the married woman's husband was angry.

A girls trip to the store or a luncheon or for a game of cards would be ok. But going someplace like the beach or a cruise is "making memories" and you should want to make memories with your husband.

If you want to go to Chicago or a trip to the beach with this girl friend, take your husband and invite her to take a date. If you want to have a vacation on the beach take your family and invite your single friend to come along. If your single friend can only be friends with you when you are by yourself and without your husband (yes you should be married before living together.), then you need to decide what is more important: your friend OR your husband and your combined children. A TRUE FRIEND would be happy to share the joy with your family.

BTW, I've only been married 40 years and I'm still all "Lovey-Dovey" with my wife. I've been told the honeymoon is not supposed to last that long, but I'm still romancing my wife hoping to set a 50 year record for the longest honeymoon. ;~)) I never want to become bored with my wife ! ! !

Good luck to you and yours.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Baton Rouge on

Girls' trips are not just for single women, any more than girls' nights out are.
I hang with a group of women that my ex used to call my "outlaw girlfriends." Every now and then, I would tell him that I was riding with the outlaws tonight. Sometimes we would all go away fro the weekend. Some of us were single, some married.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Omaha on

I dont know, my mommy's group has had mommy's only slumber parties. I don't see why you have to be single to go on a Girl's Trip. Seems like mainly your fiance is jealous. My husband can get that way, but mostly because he wishes he had more friends like I do. He also acknowledges it and admits that it's silly to be jealous when I go out with the girls. My daughter (6) and I will take weekend trips with my aunt and sometimes grandma and great aunt, calling them our girls only weekends. They're never that far away, just driving trips, but it's fun for us.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

I think your fiance needs to remember that just because you are engaged (or married) doesn't mean you never need time with your friends. If he's thinking Girls Gone Wild, that's a different problem. I feel that it is absolutely appropriate to take a trip with just your friends, regardless of whether or not you or they are married. I also send my DH on guys trips. You want to camp and fart and shoot things? Be my guest. I'll be home with the TV and hot shower.

Remember that you are still an individual as much as you are a fiancee and a mom. Feed that part of you and the other parts of you will benefit.

IMO, it boils down to trust. If he's really saying "I don't trust you" then that's a different issue to confront before the wedding.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Columbus on

Short answer to your question: OH, HECK NO!!!!

I have been married almost 20 years and my husband has ALWAYS been very supportive of me getting away for a few days with my sisters; one of which is married and one is single. We've been to Florida twice!! It's been a little hard for me to get away the last few years, but I still do it at least once a year!! If I can't do the overnight trips, I'll meet and spend the day with my sisters to just take a break from everything. I am very supportive of my husband getting away for a few days as well. Same with my family - if my husband and I wanted to get away, they were always very helpful with my children when they were little.

Any professional will tell you it's good to take breaks - not only from each other but from the day-to-day things going on.

I look at it this way: did my kids feel guilty when they went to slumber parties or Scout trips without me? Heck no!!! They enjoy the time away from home, school, etc. It helps them and prepares them for the real world when Mom and Dad aren't always going to be around. I was always very encouraging because I wanted them to be able to have fun without their parents.

You have to get over feeling guilty and go for it!!!

Good luck!!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

If both my best friend and I had the finances to go on a "girls trip" vacation you can bet that I would be going!!! She is single and childless and I am married with a 2 and a half year old... But we have been best friends since 7th grade! We have never had the money to do a "girls trip". She has come on family vacations with my family and I have gone on family vacations with her family, but we have never gone a vacation just by ourselves. My husband might be a little disappointed that he couldn't go on vacation too, but he would still be happy for my friend and I to get our "girl time".

So... If you have the finances to do it, I suggest talking to your husband about it again.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I've been married almost 25 yrs and I go on girl trips. I've been with friends as well as been by myself. My daughter stayed here with her dad.

That said, in your situation, since you have a 10 yr old daughter.... what are your plans for her? I don't think leaving her with a live in bf would be the greatest idea. Could she stay with bio dad, grandparents, or cousins?

As for the bringing along another guy, I'd say no as well because your point of the trip is a GIRLS trip. You friend probably does not want to be set up with someone for a trip.

Go and have fun.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Boston on

Girls' Trips are definitely not just for single women. I don't know if I'd get on a plane and go somewhere with my girlfriends, but that's more of a time and money thing. If I had enough of both, why not?

I just spent last Saturday night going out to dinner and spending a night at a beach house with three friends. We did the same thing last fall and I normally get away for a weekend at least once or twice a year with different groups of girlfriends. Sometimes we can only squeeze in one night away due to schedules but if we can get away with 2 or more, we definitely do!

When one of my friends and her best friend turned 40 their birthday gift from their husbands was a week long cruise for just the two girlfriends - how great is that? I have plenty of married friends who take vacations without their spouses, either with friends or maybe their mom or sisters. It's nice to be able to spend some time away from your husband and kids doing things that grown up women enjoy - a nice dinner, relaxing on the beach, getting a mani/pedi, shopping, running, biking, whatever.

I don't think that the suggestion of bringing along another guy is a good one. How terribly awkward would that be for your friend and the guy? It's bad enough being set up with someone for a dinner party or other short event but for a whole vacation? Ick.

If you're not comfortable travelling without your child and/or fiance then don't but don't the the reason be some misguided idea about whether or not such a trip is appropriate. You're allowed to be a woman with some time of her own.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Miami on

I'm with 8kidsdad here. It depends on the plan. Last year a group of us (all married with children) went away for the weekend to Lake George. My friend has a beautiful cabin there and we spent the weekend cooking together, drinking wine and playing board games. It was a blast and nice to have a break from being a "wife and mom". The summer before I was invited on a bachelorette's weekend before my cousin got married. I declined and had a nice bottle of wine sent to their table with a note from me. I just didn't want to spend a weekend with a group of single girls who were getting wasted and bar-hopping while wearing feather boas and all of that. It just didn't seem "right".

Would I leave my husband to watch the kids to go on a vacation with my best friend? Maybe, but probably not. I'd be more likely to invite her to our home for a weekend, plan things to do together and ask my husband to stay with the kids if we went somewhere without them.

Go if you want to, but know that it's not going to be as fun as you think! I went to my sister's bachelorette party (overnight, but not a weekend) b/c I was her matron of honor and couldn't really duck out of that one... I kind of felt like a supervisor the whole time and wish I could have just gone to dinner with them and then headed home.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

Heck no! My married friends and I do girls trips twice a year. It's usually drinking, board games, and tons of fun!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Atlanta on

I go on girls trips once a year. I am the only married one - one is single (who also brings other single friends) and the other good friend is divorced. So, it is very much a single gals scene at night and I usually roll my eyes and supervise. But it's also fun during the day, being with my very good friends away from home and it recharges me.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

girl trips are for girls. period.
NOT for couples.
if you don't want to go on a girl's trip, say so.
but i think yer nuts.
IIIIIII want to be in beautiful places sometimes without my lover. sometimes without girlfriends too. i adore my husband and we have a blast together, but that doesn't mean i don't enjoy a different level of energy from basking in the company of a good BFF, or my ownself.
and no good parent should ever feel guilty over leaving a 10 year old. kids do better when they can be separated from the parents periodically without terror and angst all round.
but since neither you nor your boyfriend want this, why is it even an issue?

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Grand Forks on

Girls trips are not only for single women! I would not go on a girls trip that I would not also be able to afford to go on with my husband though. If financially I could only afford to go on one big trip, I would go with my husband. I usually do girls trips to closer, more affordable destinations for that reason. It is very good to get away from husband and kids once in a while and work on relationships with friends!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Santa Barbara on

No they are not just for single women.

I personally would rather spend my vacation time with my husband and/or kids. There are plenty of women who have time for both types of trips and some who just really like trips with the girls.

Your issue is your fiancee wants to be with you too. His feelings are important. I see his point about bringing a 'date' yet this is not just dinner and I would not try to find 'some man' for your friend. If he has a best friend and can play golf while you get manicures then maybe it could work, yet there will be some weird tension while the 4 of you try to double date.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Orlando on

I don't think girls trips are for only single women. But I say if you don't want to go, don't go. Just tell her sorry but you don't want to leave your daughter. And, I wouldn't invite some other guy to make it a couples trip if she is not dating anyone lol

1 mom found this helpful


answers from New York on

My girlfriends and I will go on a weekend retreat every year, connected to our church, we get massages, eat out, hang out til late talking and catchin up, hang out in the jacuzzi, etc. We also try to get out at least once every couple of months to a concert or out to dinner, or shopping. Like you I'd have a tough time relaxing at the beach without my husband - but he'd be OK with it. Going out to bars wouldn't be.

This is a tough dilemma since your man is a quiet guy with few friends. I think an overnight girl friend trip to a spa, a to an outlet mall for shopping wouldn't be threatening to your man - but I tend to think he's not crazy about the fact that your friend is a single woman...

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

Anyone can go anywhere they want with anyone they want to go with. It sounds like you are sort of "over" hanging with your single friend, now that you are not single any more. You don't "owe" her anything, nor should you feel obligated to do anything you don't want to do. I agree with your fiancé, make it a couples trip or just stay home and let her find another single friend to go with. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

Two things....
Girls Trips are for GIRLS. Hence the name. I am a mom of three and married for 10 years. I am having a girls night out with my girls this Saturday. She is also a mom! It's just a time to be GIRLS. YEAH!
If you don't want to go then don't. But don't ask to invite the man along as well as another man that your girl doesn't even know! That's not a good idea at all. I look forward to my girl's nights. She probably just wants to spend time with YOU and NOT your boyfriend.
I LOVE it when my husband goes out with his guy friends. I trust him and trust them and know that they would never do anything stupid. They just get to talk about cars, sports, soccer, family, and "the old days"and I get to stay at home and watch my shows, read a book, and chat on the phone with my friend.
I would LOVE to go on a vacation...with or without the man.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Victoria on

My husband is a hunter and while he does not get to escape to the sticks often when he does its a guys trip. If the kids go the only girl is 3 years old but most of the time its just guys being guys!

Girls trips to me are the equlivent of just that. While I am not a fan of girls night out because most of those girls who actually host a girls night out are going to bars and drinking. I know there are women who do not do this but majority is they are drinking at a bar flirting with men. So much so a friends husband was visiting us on one of his wifes girls nights and asked us why is it ok for girls to do this and not men. I told him it wasnt and I would be pissed if my husband were doing this and its not something that I would ever think was ok or do myself.

That being said I have family that plans a girls shopping trip (i hate shopping and skip this because its from open to close for three days...i am out). I see nothing wrong with this. Nor would I find issue going to a beach. I love tubing on the river. My friend was married and her husband had issue. I could not see the issue until I went and saw the married woman acting single and flirting. So all in all I suppose its your behavior and your comfort zone. I would love a few days off to reboot and relax away from my family. Others dont feel spending time away from the family is acceptable or even positive. When I heard about a woman whos doctor said she needed a break from her three small children for just a few hours even and the back lash she received from her sister?!?! Well some things work better for others while the sister was very attached to her children and was a SHAM its hard enough to be a mother but to have a full time job and husband or single its just alot more work and stress. Its ok for all sides do what is BEST for YOUR family. So all in all I dont feel girls trips are for singles. But then again it depends on the destination and what will be happening on those said trips!



answers from Dallas on

No they are not a girls trip is for friends to get away and relax. I have never gotten to go on one partly because the one I would go with her husband would not let her but mine would. I have several coworkers that went on a cruz together some married and some not. There are two that are fixing to go to TN one is single and one is newly married. There is nothing wrong with it I think it's healthy to be able to go have a great time and not have to have him there all the time.



answers from New York on

Girls trips for single and married women. I live for my trips with my girlfriends. Google the talk a mother had with her daughter when she married. It is ax plantation of why women need their girlfriends. You will change your thinking.



answers from Oklahoma City on

We all need time away to recoup and rest. I think you should go for it and enjoy a weekend trip and come back rested and perhaps a bit tanned.



answers from Philadelphia on

I have friends that go on a girls weekend every year and also go to an island for a week every fall. I have no desire to go at this point in time so I don't. Maybe someday when my kids are grown but even then I do not know if I would want to go without my husband...especially for a week long trip. Do what feels right for you.


answers from Dallas on

ummm, NO, they are not. I had the pleasure of going to Hawaii last week with no one but my also married friend Wendy. No guilt necessary on your part, just go and enjoy yourself!



answers from Chicago on

No they are not for singles only. Sure, maybe if it is a party all night thing. I have a lot of friends that talk about how they take a yearly or twice yearly weekend or what have you for girls only trips. Most of them are married. Maybe he pictures it as a pick someone up type thing rather than a connect and pamper.

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