Anyone Wait Until Labor to Find Out the Gender? *Update*

Updated on May 10, 2011
S.L. asks from Aliso Viejo, CA
59 answers

we are pregnant with baby #2 and I don't want to find out the gender until i deliver. my husband on the other hand, wants to know. I'm wondering if any of you waited to find out and had any positive feedback! would you do it again? or did it drive you crazy not knowing? any fun stories you'd like to share? also wondering if there is anything i can say to my husband that may change his mind to wait!! ;) Thanks!!

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So What Happened?

i LOVE reading each and every comment! THank you all so much!!
i would be ok with my husband knowing and i don't, BUT i definitely think it would be more fun if he didn't know.
Thanks again!!

My husband said to me this morning, 'I'll wait with you!' I'm shocked!!! And really excited :) maybe reading a few of these comments really did help!! Thank YOU!!

Featured Answers

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

There were a million things I didn't know about my baby until she was born, and more I Iearn about her every day, but I knew she was going to be a girl.

1 mom found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I had three kids and we never found out ahead of time. I know most people love to plan (ie, shop) nowadays but hey, giving birth is like Christmas morning, it's all about unwrapping the gift!!! We loved hearing, it's a girl/boy, sooo exciting :)

1 mom found this helpful

C.D.

answers from Columbia on

I waited on both of mine and I am so happy I did! That is one of the true suprises left in life! I t was so much fun to be able to tell everyone which we had because NO ONE knew!

1 mom found this helpful

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C.M.

answers from Houston on

We did and we loved it! We prepared the nursery with an animal theme so no gender needed. We also got stocked up on gender neutral clothes so we were ready. Many people think if you wait to find out the gender then you won't be prepared-not the case! And many people purchased gender specific clothes for us afterwards! The nurses also told us they love a surprise since there are so few! Good luck!

4 moms found this helpful
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L.K.

answers from Atlanta on

Funny story... We decided to wait until our baby was born to find out the sex (we figured there are so few good surprises, why ruin this one?). I had an emergency c-section (won't go into detail, but he was 27wks, 1lb 1oz), and when he came out, the dr. said "congrats, it's a boy!" Oh we were so happy! A few minutes later, another dr. came over and told us that our baby girl had been successfully intubated. What? Girl? What was wrong? Was something not right "down there"? My husband finally managed to stammer something like, "it's not a boy?" or something like that. You should have seen the look on that dr's face! He didn't know what to say, so he said "I'll go check on that." Yes, please! He came back from the NICU with a confirmation that we had a boy, and that he was just fine "down there." whew! Like we didn't have enough to worry about! Now, if we had found out the sex of the baby, we wouldn't have a cool story like that, would we? Tell your hubby you win and he'll have to wait to see what comes out! What a wonderful surprise it will be! Congrats and have fun trying to predict the sex on your own!

2 moms found this helpful
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N.F.

answers from Portland on

I think waiting is so special, although I can put an additional spin on things. In my religion, it is customary NOT to celebrate before a child is born. This means that not only did we not know the gender of our little boy, we also did not buy a single thing before. We also did not accept any gifts bought for our baby, as it was like counting our chickens before they hatched, or putting the cart before the horse. We did have a family memeber buy a carseat and store it at their house for us, so that we were sure to have a carrier to take a baby home in....there was a back order on the one that we wanted! I have to say that at first I thought it would be really difficult. I felt like I was so unprepared for a baby in the house. Did I have the big freak out a couple of times? Of course I did!

Fast forward to the reality of the situation...It was actually very easy. It helped that we didn't know the gender of our baby because it curbed the need to go out and buy everything boy I could find! The first few weeks were onsies, diapers, recieving blankets and a bassinette.

Obviously, to most people the way that we did things seems very extreme. I have to say however, that once we got going it made perfect sense to me. If G-d forbid something was to have gone horribly wrong, we didn't have to come home to a house full of baby stuff!

When our little boy was two months old we had an open-house. Our close friends and family came to celebrate our little boys life with us...it was so special and fun! It also gave my sister the opportunity to throw a party for us. She was a little disappointed that we were not going to have a baby shower.

My husband and I made a deal that for our second baby we would find out the gender. Not that it will make a difference in our planning, we will do the same thing we did with our first baby. The only change would be that instead of going and buying everthing once our baby is born, we will just be going to our storage space and pulling out our stored baby supplies.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.P.

answers from Seattle on

Would you be ok if your husband knew the gender and you waited? That'd be a tough secret for him to keep!

I found out with my first two and waited for my third, since we'd had a boy and a girl and I was all stocked up on clothing for both. Before my third, I was always annoyed with friends who said they were waiting because "There aren't many surprises in life," as if my births would be any less of a joyful event because I knew the gender. But by the third I actually agreed. It was fun to hear everyone's guess on the gender, especially the siblings-to-be. The funny thing is, I was so sure I was having a boy that when my husband announced that it was, indeed, a boy, I almost forgot I didn't know absolutely beforehand. Congratulations and good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

B.B.

answers from Evansville on

How exciting! Best wishes!

1 mom found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

My last pregnancy (only live birth) I found out as soon as humanly possible. I got sick and tired of finding out at their deaths (if at all)... if I had to wait one more minute past when the scan could tell me I would have had an apoplectic fit. Twitch. Twitch. TELL ME NOW!!! I DON'T CARE IF IT'S A GUESS OR A LIE!!! ::blushing:: (I promise, I didn't actually hold the tech by their collar and yell it at them... I just imagined it as I laid back the picture -ha- of serenity). It was just so magical, knowing who my son was as I carried him under my heart. I knew I stood a good / better than even chance of losing him, so I wanted to love on him as much as I could prior to losing him. <grin> Of course, he's 8 now :) :) :) Little scamp.

1 mom found this helpful

M.P.

answers from Provo on

My next one I have decided that I really want to!! I'm a single mom so it's going to be awhile :(

1 mom found this helpful
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R.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

We have a son and a daughter, so #3 is going to be a surprise! I am 26 weeks along now, and it has been really fun not knowing. We are SO excited for the added fun in the delivery room that awaits us!!

1 mom found this helpful
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B.

answers from Augusta on

we didnt' find out with our first , with our second we did.

1 mom found this helpful

C.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

When I found out that I was pregnant I was 5.5 months along. I sure didn't need ANOTHER surprise. My heart can only handle so much.

I REALLY wanted a boy and out first of MANY ultrasounds told us he was a BOY! That was THE best birthday present EVER! That and the fact he didn't have any medical issues or deformities. Something I was REALLY worried about since I hadn't had any prenatal care whatsoever. Whew, we were so lucky!

1 mom found this helpful

D.G.

answers from Lincoln on

I waited for both! and both times they could tell. The first time she was stuck between my pelvic bones with her feet behind her ears so there was no mistaking and they just always had to be careful. I wanted to hear it in the delivery room so bad - then I was completely put out and woke up hours later in a daze not even sure I'd had a baby! The next time they took the baby over to clean her up and my sister gave me a thumbs up and told me You got your girl! It was perfect! ( I really wanted a healthy baby but a girl would be more convenient, my daughter really wanted a girl so I didn't want to find out and have her be disappointed for months).

1 mom found this helpful
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E.H.

answers from Washington DC on

we just had our 4th boy:) we didn't find out with the first 2. but after that i had to know if i needed to prepare myself for a girl:) congrats and good luck on your pregnancy!

1 mom found this helpful
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Y.Y.

answers from New York on

i did wait but i know in my heart then that i am carrying a lil girl...

1 mom found this helpful
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J.J.

answers from Toledo on

I had 3 girls (all were confirmed before delivery) and I became pregnant with my 4th child when my 3rd was only 9 months old. I was a wreck at best. We had decided that this would be our last, since we were still discussing the idea of "do we want another, or are we good?" I'm a planner and I need to have things in order and know exactly what is going on. My husband was adamant that he did not want to know the sex before delivery, and it absolutely killed me...at first. I had a scheduled C Section and everyone in the unit knew that we didn't know the sex. The excitement was incredible. Not one person on that unit could contain themselves when the doc pulled my SON out of me and said those famous words. The surgical team and newborn team consisted of about 15 women, and the only men were my husband and the anesthesiologist. The unanimous scream of "ITS A BOY!!!!" was so loud, the nurses at the station...on the other end of the unit...heard it and were waiting at the door for a glimpse of him! You know what they say about hindsight...I would have waited with all of them had I known how incredible it would be :)

1 mom found this helpful
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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

My sister-in-law is an ER physician and had her first at 36 (then 38, 40 and 42). She had every prenatal test known in medicine but when they were born, then genders sure a surprise!! They loved it.

1 mom found this helpful

K.L.

answers from Redding on

I find it funny that so many of the moms on here can't wait 30 minutes after having sex to try and find out if they are pregnant, but so many of you claim you can wait to find out what your having! We had kids long enough ago that we didnt get that choice to know, and I do wonder now if we could wait given the chance. I dont know.

1 mom found this helpful

H.G.

answers from Dallas on

My kids are 10 and a half years apart and I was so excited I just had to know! I tried to hold out but just couldn't do it!

1 mom found this helpful

L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I have a very orderly, methodical personality. I didn't find out for my second baby, and I was certain he was a girl! lol! I didn't care either way, but it was really annoying to not be able to plan ahead and get the right baby clothes, etc. But that's just my personality. We had planned to name "her" Victoria. I didn't like "Victor" so we had to scramble for a new name. The nurse was waiting, pen in hand, while we racked our brains, lol! Turns out his name fits him perfectly. ( :

1 mom found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Orlando on

I'm coming in late here and I'm glad you decided to wait to find out together, I just wanted to share my story.

With my first I wanted to find out more than anything! I had always wanted a boy first, but once I discovered how much I hated being pregnant I wished with all my heard that my only child would be a girl. We found out at 20 weeks that we were having a little girl.

Fast forward a couple of years and somehow my husband convinced me to do it again. I really didn't want to find out the sex the second time, figuring we had everything we needed for a girl, so we would just need to buy a home from the hospital outfit for a boy in case. My husband couldn't wait to find out, and after a few short discussions where I would get upset he didn't want to be suprised, he finally told me why. He really wanted a boy (I feel like most men do) and he didn't want the first seconds of our daughters life to be him thinking, "oh man, not a boy" even though it would be a fleeting thought, he would rather it have been at the ultrasound, while he still had a few months to get excited about a another girl. After he told me all of that, I couldn't make him wait.

We now have two beautiful little girls, and daddy is just so in love with both of them, he just needed about 30 seconds to get used to the idea.

Ultrasounds are not always right anyway. A friend of mine was told she was having a girl, but always felt like he was a boy. She went so far as to bring a dress and a boy outfit to the hospital, even though 2 ultrasounds said girl. Well Franklin is 3 now, and as boy as boy can be.

1 mom found this helpful

A.C.

answers from Oklahoma City on

We've been surprised with all 4 of ours and we LOVED it! I am due in Aug with #5 and we didn't find out this time either but we've already had 3 ultrasounds and the last one was SO HARD not to just say "go ahead and tell us!" I don't know why because we were never like that with the others!
Someone told me that the reason they never found out is so that her husband would have ONE thing before she did. She knew she was pregnant before him and she could feel the baby move before he could but he got to be the one to tell her wether the baby was a boy or girl.... I thought that was cute!

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T.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I was pregnant with twins and we decided to wait. I think it drove our
friends crazy, but not me. After I had made up my mind to wait, it was easy and so exciting when they finally said. Its a boy, its a girl!!! We did have 2 sets of girl names and 2 sets of boy names and we mostly got yellow and green at the showers, but its okay. they outgrew it fast. This is one of the last great surprises you can have! Good luck!

A.G.

answers from Houston on

yes i did and i would do it every other time if i were going to have more. It was so awesome finding out at birth!, I opted for no drugs so it was quite a painful arduous process but right as soon as my body was done creating a miracle my mind was melted as well! I screamed in joy as they were rinsing her off in elation "Hello, Lilly!...Hi baby girl!" (we only had the girl name picked out, i wanted a girl!)

get light beige stuff/brown/ stuff and ask for gift cards for the shower and for housewarming ....blue and pink is easily complemented by light beige/brown.

it was one of my favorite decisions.

A.F.

answers from Chicago on

Funny! I couldn't change my hubby's mind (he wanted to know) and I knew there is no way he could know and I couldn't....I would second guess everything he said. So, we ended up both knowing with all 3 of our kiddos! I think you really need to be on the same page unless you think he could really keep it secret the entire time (through the discussion of baby names, etc). That seems tough!

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C.R.

answers from Seattle on

A friend of mine waited with all four of her kids... She said there's no better motivation to get through labor than to wait because you're longing to hear, "It's a...." She said that the reward and joy of that is just completely overwhelming. I, on the other hand, was not patient enough for that... LOL!

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L.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

My husband and I are waiting, we're due in July. It's SO exciting not knowing what we're having. I just read a statistic last week that 9 out of 10 people find out the gender ahead of time. I guess I like being different. It is going to make the birth that much more exciting! Best of luck, I recommend being surprised!!!

T.M.

answers from Reading on

Best surprise I'd ever gotten! I love surprises and my husband is not very good at them. With our thrid we did not find out the sex and when she came out I was elated to find out "it" was a SHE!!!

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S.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

my girlfriend waited b/c in her opinion "there's just not a lot of surprises anymore w/being pregnant". I believe that too.

I was going to wait but we had multiples and our DR. strongly recommended against it b/c he said we'd have no time to do anything (customize the nursery, etc.) after they arrived. I took his advice and instead kept their names secret.... that really drove people nuts and we loved it! Didn't even tell the grandmother's!!

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I didn't find out my daughter's sex until she was born. I didn't CARE what sex she was - knowing ahead of time wouldn't have changed anything.

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M.O.

answers from New York on

All my life I'd dreamed of having someone say "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!" right after my baby was born. I never once considered finding out in advance. As other have said, I'm also not a fan of "color coding" babies. I don't like super-frilly, pink baby clothes for girls or "baby macho" clothes for boys. We did my son's room in all primary colors, and it looked so bright and fun and educational. We got all a lot of white, off-white, and pale-yellow onesies, and a lot of things with animal themes. I loved the surprise, and wouldn't have it any other way.

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J.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

We waited until birth for both of our kids and neither of us had a desire to know!

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S.J.

answers from Saginaw on

we waited with our first two and it is amazing to wait. We didn't wait with our third because our daughter was so interested in finding out and we wish we would have! We always agree'd so not sure how to confince your hubby otherwise

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V.M.

answers from Las Vegas on

We waited. there are very few real surprises in life. Enjoy the ride.

C.C.

answers from Sacramento on

With our first child we didn't know the baby's gender until she was born, but not for lack of trying on our part! She was sideways and facing my back during the ultrasound, which was a bummer. I have a friend who is a veterinary surgeon, and has all the ultrasound equipment at her animal hospital, so we had the idea to have a second ultrasound at her office. So there I was, laying in the middle of the table where they do surgery on the really big dogs, getting a second ultrasound... darn baby was still sideways and backward! So after all that, it was a complete surprise when she was born that we had a baby girl! (And not a puppy! LOL) Anyway... it was kind of fun, but with baby #2 we had the 4D ultrasound and knew definitively that we were having a girl that time (and I preferred that, actually - I had the nursery ready to go, all her little clothes ready.

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D.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I waited for the first child (because it did not matter to me which sex it was). We had a girl, so on the second (since I knew this was the final child), I wanted to know the sex. I loved not knowing on the first child. We did not need to plan anything for the child (because I am jewish, we do not bring anything into the house until after the baby is born). Everything was planned though, so it did not matter which sex. I thought the excitement of the moment was a little more for my daughter because that question was there. Tell your husband the benefits of a boy or a girl. Get him excited for either sex and then tell him that since there are the numerous benefits of both, it will not matter. Everyone will be all that much more excited when the baby is born to find out the sex.

Good luck

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J.A.

answers from San Francisco on

We waited with our daughter. It was amazing and so much fun being able to guess the entire time. I will do the same if I have any more kids. I knew she was a girl, I had dreams about her, and then when she came out and she really was a girl it was even more emotional.

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

I couldnt wait to know! I was so anxious waiting for my 20 week apointment to find out. My husband was deployed while I was pregnant so it was nice to be able to find out some good news, as soon as I could, and then once he was able to call it was great to finally be able to tell him we were having a boy! He was so excited, I think it really helped make it feel more real for him, seeings how he wasnt there to see my tummy grow and what not.

And then fun for me, I knew what color to decorate in! Lol! I also really wanted to know for sure, so I would know, pink or blue.

Congrats on the baby!

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R.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

We didn't find out with our first, and I'm due anytime with #2 - this is a surprise as well! It has been so fun not knowing. The first time, my hubby REALLY didn't want to know, and I mostly didn't want to know - he asks for very little, so of course we didn't find out. And I loved it. All our friends are DYING to know what gender baby is growing in here... yesterday at church I walked up to a group and they'd all just been talking about us, "How will we find out out what they had? who's going to call??" :) It seems anymore that with most, you know the gender, the full name, and so when the baby's born you're like...well, how much did he/she weigh? ;)

To each her own - I'm a planner, and there have definitely been A LOT of moments I'd have wanted to know. But like my brother says, "There aren't very many TRUE surprises in life anymore" - they waited for all 3 of theirs. :)

It is hard to not have the nursery all done (we went with animals the first time, and I haven't decided yet if I want to re-use or go more gender-spec this time), but we moved a couple months ago, and frankly, it's been a relief to have an excuse to not have it done! I worked so hard to have my DD's nursery done before she was born, and then she was in our room for the first 5 months anyway. :)

If you decide to wait, remind the nurses and doctor that you don't know!! Our doc forgot to tell me the second she came out, and I was panting (literally!), "What did we have? We don't know!"

Let us know what you decided! Best wishes.

L.A.

answers from Austin on

We waited. The entire time, I felt I knew it was a girl, but my husband and I refused to know.

It was such a great surprise. My mom ended up holding one of my legs, my husband the other and all of us cheered along with the doctor and the nurse.

We also had not told a soul the names..we were considering. The last wk of my pregnancy my husband came up with a new middle name. We decided we needed to see the baby and if it was a girl to help us decide.

So when the nurse asked, my husband and I looked at her and made the final decision based on her face, expression and demeanor and at that moment knew her middle name. announced it. It was such a great moment.

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S.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

I had to know as soon as possiable! but my cousin and my two sister in laws all waited to find out. My cousin's theory was once you know you can't not know so why not let it be a mystery for a while.

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S.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

My husband and I really wanted a girl and I was afraid I'd be disappointed if we had a boy but knew I couldn't be disappointed while holding my baby in my arms. We had a boy the first time, but, as I expected I wasn't disappointed because I had a healthy baby in my arms (and was glad to be done with childbirth--ha ha).
I also tend to worry about things a lot and I had a harder time worrying about the child when I didn't know yet what it's gender was (harder to imagine it without knowing).
We also didn't want tons of gender specific stuff for our kids (but we got it anyway after they were born).
So, we didn't find out either time and it really annoyed some people (my mother-in-law thought we did it to spite her), but others thought it was sweet. My OB was really happy because he likes to be able to tell people it's a boy or it's a girl. Unfortunately, I got the on-call both times rather than him, but maybe they enjoyed that moment, too.
If I had a third, I'd wait again. Also don't have to worry about a mix-up this way (hubby thought he knew we were having a boy the first time from looking at the ultra sound, but turns out he was looking at the arm--ha ha)!

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L.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi S.!

I too didn't want to know the gender of my first child thinking that it would be the BIG surprise at delivery. However, my husband HAD to know. I didn't care if he knew because I knew he wouldn't spill the beans. We agreed during our ultrasound where we would find out that I would turn my head, he would continue to watch and he and the tech would learn the gender. The tech also took a little pink post-it and circled the gender (B or G) - which I put in the baby book. My husband took that and hid it from me. He never told a sole! Everyone asked and I always had to say I didn't want to know so it would be a surprise. The hard part was getting all of my OB office staff to not tell me either. Most everyone wants to know. I think there was one time when one of the RNs said "he" but I didn't pay too much attention.

We, in fun, started calling the baby "it" but sometimes would go back and forth from "he" or "she". To make things really fun, we named the baby Sheboygen Mylanta (Packer fans and, well, the other was necessary). LOL

In the end, I was so done with labor, I missed the "It's a boy" at delivery! Ah, go figure. A bonus to having the first child without knowing the gender was that we got tons of stuff that would work for a boy or girl. So, when we had our second, we were all set. I did find out the gender of the second (a girl) because I didn't think not knowing was as exciting as I wanted it to be. I am happy to have done it both ways tho, don't get me wrong. Have fun with it, because it is a special time no matter how you slice it up!!!

L.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Didn't want to know till baby was born - wanted it to be a surprise. Out of 12 couples in our childbirth class, only 2 didn't want to know beforehand. Of course, we did try to figure it out from the sonogram dvd we got to take home (but couldn't - until 3 years later I looked at it again and was like "DUH - it's a boy!LOL). I was convinced it would be a girl for some reason but it didn't matter :)

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

We never knew the gender of any of our three children ahead of time. From my perspective, finding out was the big bonus at the end of labor!

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K.B.

answers from San Antonio on

I could not wait. I had to find out before hand. But that was just due to my need to repaint this horrible room in the house we had just moved into. There is a way that you both can get your way. Your doctor could send home a letter in a sealed envelope for your husband. That way he could know the gender and you can still be surprized. Just a thought.

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S.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

It is the most amazing experience waiting to the end! It builds up the anticipation and will get you through labor :) We waited for #1 but found out for #2. We will definitely wait for #3. Also, it is fun to have people guess as to what you are having. Good luck!

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I wanted a girl so much - I wore pink almost every pregnant day - as if that would help! LOL Hubby was neutral regarding gender preference. I am REALLY glad that I didn't know ahead of time. I did have my girl, but I think if she had been he, I would have been FINE with it!

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K.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

My husband and I both agreed that we didn't need to know the sex. And it was a surprise in the delivery room. Everyone predicted we would have a boy based on the way I was carrying, dreams, and other theories based in superstition. I loved being pregnant and was excited to meet my baby, but I never felt like I had to know. Before the days of ultrasounds, this is the way all women did it. And...just because we CAN find out the sex was not enough for me to decide that I should find out. The room we used for a nursery was already gender neutral colors and we got a lot of furniture and other equipment second hand so it wasn't like we needed to know for decorating purposes. It definitely bothered the grandparents and friends more than it bothered us. Enjoy the surprise!

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M.

answers from Las Vegas on

I wanted my first to be a surprise at birth, but my mother had died and I wanted a girl to name after her. I thought that if I was having a boy, I wanted time to adjust before he was born. (not that I wouldn't love him, just had my girl name picked out) So, I found out with baby #1 and it was a girl. With baby #2, I honestly didn't care one way or another what gender I was having. If I had a girl, I thought how great it would be for my daughter to have a sister, a friend. If I had a boy, it would be awesome to have one of each. (hubby and I agreed on 2 kiddos only) So, we waited for baby #2 and I am sooooo glad I did. It was such an amazing experience. The pain was horrible, but so nice to have something to look forward to. All the nurses were excited with me. It truly was a magical experience to have my baby come out and hear "it's a boy!" It was way more exciting that way than to hear the ultrasound tech tell you! We had lots of friends and family all in the waiting room and that was so much fun for my husband to go out and make the announcement to them.

If I had any more kiddos (wishful thinking), I would definitely wait again! Be strong if/when you have any ultrasounds - it's worth it! Get a couple of neutral outfits, you'll be fine! If you really want, buy one of each blue and pink for going home from the hospital and take back one of them or gift it to someone else. Congrats and enjoy baby #2!!!!

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T.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

My husband and I waited to find out, but we were the only ones I know who did so. The sex of the baby didn't matter to us, and neither one of us believes in "color-coding" a child". So we got gifts of all colors of the rainbow, that our little son wears now/plays with. Finding out before seems so strange and unnatural to us. We'd do the same thing again for the next one.

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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

We waited to find out with our first. I wanted a girl, so naturally I was *convinced* I was having a boy. I had all but painted the nursery blue I was SO sure of having a boy. As part of my birth plan, my husband was to be the one to tell me if the baby was a boy or girl. Well, when the time came he said "it's a girl!" I was like "are you sure?" hahaha But yes, she was our perfect little girl.

We found out with our second and third ONLY because we'd had a shower *after* our first was born and EVERYTHING was pink! So, if we were to be having a boy I wanted to buy him some boyish stuff before he was born, repaint the nursery, etc.

I think both knowing before and finding out at delivery have pros (there are no cons to having a baby!). Finding out ahead of time means that you can prepare better, your options for names are cut in half and you don't have to refer to your unborn baby as "it" (I really hated that). But being suprised at the birth adds a little something to it. Not only do you get to see your baby and hold him or her for the first time, but you get to find out if you have a son or daughter.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

We waited. We thought it would be fun to be surprised and we had to keep reminding the doctors and nurses who did my ultrasounds not to tell us. Luckily we had a boy because we couldn't agree on a girl's name! We only have one child though. I probably would have found out for a 2nd child just to help prepare. But I think it's fun that you want to wait.

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V.T.

answers from Dallas on

I didn't find out and I don't plan to again. My husband wants to know, but since he can't keep a secret, he didn't find out. I just told my husband we weren't finding out, and when he has a baby he can decide to find out or not. I had the doctors put a note in my chart to not tell my husband, so even if he asked, they can't tell him because of HIPPA. The funniest part was when I delivered by c-section, the doctor removed the baby and said congratulations and asked the name. The doctor is so used to people finding out that he didn't say what we had and since it was a c-section, there was such a big curtain, that I couldn't look down to see. We asked what it was and he was like "oh oh a girl a girl, I forgot."

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S.B.

answers from San Diego on

We waited on both of out kid's. Like Victoria T. we had a C'Section for our first and the Dr. forgot to tell me what it sex was. I kept saying "What is it," but she was a emergency so he was in that mode. I asked another time and he then was soooo apologetic and told me it was a girl! On my second, he was a v-bac and I wrote in my birth plan that I wanted my husband to be the person to tell me. He did and it was sooo cool!!

Congratulations!!
Stephanie

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

I found out at the 20 week ultrasound all three times. I wanted to wait with the third one since we already had one of each, but ended up being too impatient. If we do have a 4th, I really want to wait and experience that delivery room announcement.

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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have 3 kids. i didn't find out gender until birth on all of them. I highly suggest it. It drove other people crazy. The worst part-having to decide on 2 names. #2 didn't have a boy name (I was so sure he was a girl) The hospital was not happy. but, we figured it out in a day.

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E.T.

answers from Minneapolis on

I waited with both of kids and will wait for any more we might have. If knew I'd become focused on the 'stuff' - clothes, car seats, strollers, am I buying the right colors? and that's not what's important. If I just know there's a baby in there then I focus on a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby. It keeps me focused on what's really important, and for me, that's not stuff.

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